Introduction - Weeks 4-6 - Interpersonal Effectiveness - Flashcard set 4 (Version 1)
How can we communicate that a person’s behavior makes sense?
By explaining how the person’s learning history or past experiences relate to their current behavior
What does level 5 validation communicate?
That a person’s experiences make sense because they fit the present facts, are well-grounded, are logically correct, or are effective for their ultimate goals
What is the importance of validating only what is valid?
It reinforces the experiences, emotions, thoughts, words, or actions that are being validated
What does it mean for something to be well-grounded?
It is based on empirical facts, logically correct inference, or generally accepted authority
What are the two types of invalidation?
Soft invalidation and hard invalidation
What are some examples of respectful debate?
When both parties are willing to listen to each other and share their own perspectives without getting too emotional
What is the significance of invalidation to an individual’s self-respect and ability to trust themselves?
It can make them feel disregarded and unimportant
What are some examples of harmful invalidation?
Belittling someone’s feelings, telling them their experiences are not real, or telling them they are overreacting
What may happen if you are not being understood?
You may start to question your ability to communicate with others
What is the difference between being misread and not being understood?
That others not only misread you but are insensitive to what is going on with you unless you spell it out for them in clear A-B-C language
What is an example of when having current facts ignored or denied can lead to serious consequences?
When you are abused but the abuser denies it, or you are innocent but are found guilty of a crime
What is the definition of “traumatic invalidation”?
The extreme or repetitive invalidation of an individual’s significant private experiences, characteristics, or reactions
What are some common sequelae of extreme or pervasive invalidation?
Intrusive thoughts and memories; reexperiencing of the invalidation; intense shame, confusion, anger, and defensiveness; markedly increased interpersonal sensitivity to subsequent invalidation; intense efforts to get validation from the invalidator, as well as persistent efforts to obtain validation from others; and avoidance of contact with invalidators and difficulties in trusting other people
What are some things you can do to recover from harmful invalidation?
Find support, talk to someone you trust, and practice self-care
What are some of the things you can do after invalidation?
Check the facts, acknowledge and work to change the invalid responses
