To Sell Is Human by Daniel Pink Flashcards
In the United States alone, some 1 in 9 workers still earns a living trying to get others to make a purchase.
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“non-sales selling.”
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If you buy these arguments, or if you’re willing just to rent them for a few
To Sell Is Human by @DanielPink
One adage of the sales trade has long been ABC—“Always Be Closing.” The three chapters of Part Two introduce the new ABCs—Attunement, Buoyancy, and Clarity.
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I draw on a rich reservoir of research to show you the three rules of attunement—and why extraverts rarely make the best salespeople.
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the Fuller Man became a fixture in popular culture—Lady
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One out of every nine American workers works in sales. Each day more than fifteen million people earn their keep by trying to convince someone else to make a purchase.7
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The United States manufacturing economy, still the largest in the world, cranks out nearly $2 trillion worth of goods each year.
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37 percent of respondents said they devoted a significant amount of time to “teaching, coaching, or instructing others.”
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70 percent reported that they spent at least some of their time “persuading or convincing others.” What’s more, non-sales selling turned out to be far more prevalent than selling in the traditional sense. When we asked how much time they put in “selling a product or service,” about half of respondents said “no time at all.”
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striking interplay between what people find valuable and what they actually do.
To Sell Is Human by @DanielPink
why more of us find ourselves in sales: the rise of small entrepreneurs.
To Sell Is Human by @DanielPink
The U.S. Census Bureau estimates that the American economy has more than twenty-one million “non-employer” businesses—operations without any paid employees. These include everything from electricians to computer consultants to graphic designers.
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middle-class employment of the future won’t be employees of large organizations, but self-sufficient “artisans.”
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In just three years, Kickstarter surpassed the U.S. National Endowment for the Arts as the largest backer of arts projects in the United States.9
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MIT’s Technology Review, “In 1982, there were 4.6 billion people in the world, and not a single mobile-phone subscriber. Today, there are seven billion people in the world—and six billion mobile cellular-phone subscriptions.”12 Cisco predicts that by 2016, the world will have more smartphones (again, handheld minicomputers) than human beings—ten billion in all.13
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“We have no salespeople,” he told me, “because in a weird way, everyone is a salesperson.”
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“We try to espouse the philosophy that everyone the customer touches is effectively a salesperson,”
To Sell Is Human by @DanielPink
Irritation, he says, is “challenging people to do something that we want them to do.” By contrast, “agitation is challenging them to do something that they want to do.” What he has discovered throughout his career is that “irritation doesn’t work.” It might be effective in the short term.
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“The model of health care is ‘We’re the experts.’ We go in and tell you what to do.” But she has found, and both experience and evidence confirm, that this approach has its limits. “We need to take a step back and bring [patients] on board,” she told me. “People usually know themselves way better than I do.” So now, in order to move people to move themselves, she tells them, “I need your expertise.” Patients heal faster and better when they’re part of the moving process.
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And the emotions elicited by “sales” or “selling” carry an unmistakable flavor. Of the twenty-five most offered words, only five have a positive valence
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caveat emptor—buyer beware.
To Sell Is Human by @DanielPink
The belief that sales is slimy, slick, and sleazy has less to do with the nature of the activity itself than with the long-reigning but fast-fading conditions in which selling has often taken place. The balance has shifted. If you’re a buyer and you’ve got just as much information as the seller,
To Sell Is Human by @DanielPink
His book, How to Sell Anything to Anybody—whose
To Sell Is Human by @DanielPink
“Girard’s Rule of 250”—that each of us has 250 people in our lives we know well enough to invite to a wedding or a funeral. If you reach one person, and get her to like you and buy from you, she will connect you to others in her 250-person circle.
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“A Chevrolet sold by Joe Girard is not just a car,” he writes. “It is a whole relationship between me and the customer and his family and friends and the people he works with.”5
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when do you think you might start looking at a new car?” I ask the question straight out, and he is going to think about it and give me an answer. Maybe he only wants to get rid of me. But whatever the reason what he says is probably going to be what he really means. It’s easier than trying to dream up a lie.
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“People want a fair deal from someone they like.”
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When buyers can know more than sellers, sellers are no longer protectors and purveyors of information. They’re the curators and clarifiers of it—helping to make sense of the blizzard of facts, data, and options.
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When the product is complicated—credit default swaps, anyone?—and the potential for lucre enormous, some people will strive to maintain information imbalances and others will opt for outright deception. That won’t change. As long as flawed and fallible human beings walk the planet, caveat emptor remains useful guidance. I heed this principle. So should you.
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the low road is now harder to pass and the high road—honesty, directness, and transparency—has become the better, more pragmatic, long-term route.
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the new ABCs of moving others: A—Attunement B—Buoyancy C—Clarity
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If the E resembles the one on the left, the person drew it so he could read it himself. If it looks likes the one on the right, he drew the E so you could read it. Since the mid-1980s, social psychologists have used this technique—call it the E Test—to measure what they dub “perspective-taking.”
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those who’d received even a small injection of power became less likely (and perhaps less able) to attune themselves to someone else’s point of view.
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researchers conclude, “power leads individuals to anchor too heavily on their own vantage point, insufficiently adjusting to others’ perspective.”
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Research by Dacher Keltner at the University of California, Berkeley, and others has shown that those with lower status are keener perspective-takers. When you have fewer resources, Keltner explained in an interview, “you’re going to be more attuned to the context around you.”4 Think of this first principle of attunement as persuasion jujitsu: using an apparent weakness as an actual strength. Start your encounters with the assumption that you’re in a position of lower power. That will help you see the other side’s perspective more accurately, which, in turn, will help you move them.
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Social scientists often view perspective-taking and empathy as fraternal twins—closely related, but not identical. Perspective-taking is a cognitive capacity; it’s mostly about thinking. Empathy is an emotional response; it’s mostly about feeling.
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“social cartography.” It’s the capacity to size up a situation and, in one’s mind, draw a map of how people are related.
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scientists view mimicry differently. To them, this tendency is deeply human, a natural act that serves as a social glue and a sign of trust. Yet they, too, assign it a nonhuman label. They call it the “chameleon effect.”10
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“Strategic mimicry” proved to be effective. The participants told to mimic—again, with just five minutes of notice and preparation—did it surprisingly well and to great effect. In the gas station scenario, “negotiators who mimicked their opponents’ mannerisms were more likely to create a deal that benefited both parties.”12
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People therefore looked to cues in the environment to determine whom they could trust. “One of those cues is the unconscious awareness of whether we are in synch with other people, and a way to do that is to match their behavioral patterns with our own.”14
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waitresses who repeated diners’ orders word for word earned 70 percent more tips than those who paraphrased orders—and
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When customers approached the salespeople for help, nearly 79 percent bought from mimickers compared with about 62 percent from non-mimickers. In addition, those who dealt with the mimickers reported “more positive evaluations of both the sales clerk and the store.”16
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studies have shown that when restaurant servers touch patrons lightly on the arm or shoulder, diners leave larger tips.18
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In other research, when signature gatherers asked strangers to sign a petition, about 55 percent of people did so. But when the canvassers touched people once on the upper arm, the percentage jumped to 81 percent.20
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Touching even proved helpful in our favorite setting: a used-car lot. When salesmen (all the sellers were male) lightly touched prospective buyers, those buyers rated them far more positively than they rated salespeople who didn’t touch.21
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When people know they’re being mimicked, which was exceedingly rare in the experiments, it can have the opposite effect, turning people against you.22
To Sell Is Human by @DanielPink
top salespeople have strong emotional intelligence but don’t let their emotional connection sweep them away. They are curious and ask questions that drive to the core of what the other person is thinking. That’s getting into their heads and not just their hearts,
To Sell Is Human by @DanielPink
The notion that extraverts are the finest salespeople is so obvious that we’ve overlooked one teensy flaw. There’s almost no evidence that it’s actually true.
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One of the most comprehensive investigations—a set of three meta-analyses of thirty-five separate studies involving 3,806 salespeople—found that the correlation between extraversion and sales was essentially nonexistent.
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Perhaps not surprisingly, introverted sales reps didn’t perform as well as extraverted ones, earning an average of $120 per hour in revenue compared with $125 per hour for their more outgoing colleagues. But neither did nearly as well as a third group: the ambiverts.
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Extraverts, in other words, often stumble over themselves. They can talk too much and listen too little, which dulls their understanding of others’ perspectives. They can fail to strike the proper balance between asserting and holding back, which can be read as pushy and drive people away.*
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introverts are “geared to inspect,” while extraverts are “geared to respond.”35
To Sell Is Human by @DanielPink
selling—requires a delicate balance of inspecting and responding. Ambiverts can find that balance. They know when to speak up and when to shut up.
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A few of us are extraverts. A few of us are introverts. But most of us are ambiverts, sitting near the middle, not the edges, happily attuned to those around us.
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Jim Collins, author of the classic Good to Great and other groundbreaking business books. He says his favorite opening question is: Where are you from?
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what makes some salespeople extraordinary is their “ability to chameleon”—to adjust what they do and how they do it to others in their midst.
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The three key steps are Watch, Wait, and Wane:
To Sell Is Human by @DanielPink
Bezos includes one more chair that remains empty. It’s there to remind those assembled who’s really the most important person in the room: the customer.
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http://www .danpink.com/assessment—where I’ve replicated the assessment that social scientists use to measure introversion and extraversion.
To Sell Is Human by @DanielPink
She calls it “Conversation with a Time Traveler.” It doesn’t require any props or equipment, just a little imagination and a lot of work. Here’s how it goes: Gather a few people and ask them to think of items that somebody from three hundred years ago would not recognize. A traffic light, maybe. A carry-out pizza. An airport screening machine. Then divide into groups of two. Each pair selects an item. One person plays the role of someone from the early 1700s. The other has to explain the item. This is more difficult than it sounds.
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“This exercise immediately challenges your assumptions about the understandability of your message,” Salit says. “You are forced to care about the worldview of the other person.” That’s something we all should be doing a lot more of in the present.
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- Discussion Map In your next meeting, cut through the clutter of comments with a map that can help reveal the group’s social cartography. Draw a diagram of where each person in the meeting is sitting. When the session begins, note who speaks first by marking an X next to that person’s name. Then each time someone speaks, add an X next to that name. If someone directs her comments to a particular person rather than to the whole group, draw a line from the speaker to the recipient. When the meeting is done you’ll get a visual representation of who’s talking the most, who’s sitting out, and who’s the target of people’s criticisms or blandishments.
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Find a partner and stand face-to-face with that person for thirty seconds. Then turn around so that you’re both back-to-back with your partner. Once turned around, each person changes one aspect of his or her appearance—for example, remove earrings, add eyeglasses, untuck your shirt. (Important: Don’t tell people what you’re going to ask them to do until they’re back-to-back.) Wait sixty seconds. Turn back around and see if you or your partner can tell what has changed. Repeat this twice more with the same person, each time altering something new about your appearance. When you’re done, debrief with a short discussion. Which changes did people notice? Which eluded detection? How much of doing this well depended on being observant and attuned from the outset? How might this experience change your next encounter with a colleague, client, or student?
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psychologist Robert Cialdini, some of which I’ll discuss in Chapter 6, shows that we’re more likely to be persuaded by those whom we like. And one reason we like people is that they remind us of . . . us.
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Set a timer for five minutes and see how many commonalities you can come up with.
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How to stay afloat amid that ocean of rejection is the second essential quality in moving others. I call this quality “buoyancy.”
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The hardest part of selling, Norman Hall says, occurs before his well-polished shoes even touch the streets of San Francisco. “Just getting myself out of the house and facing people” is the stiffest challenge, he says. “It’s that big, unknown faceless person I have to face for the first time.”
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Yes, positive self-talk is generally more effective than negative self-talk. But the most effective self-talk of all doesn’t merely shift emotions. It shifts linguistic categories. It moves from making statements to asking questions.
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the efficacy of “interrogative self-talk”
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People who’d written Will I solved nearly twice as many anagrams as those who’d written I will, Will, or I.
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Those who approached a task with Bob-the-Builder-style questioning self-talk outperformed those who employed the more conventional juice-myself-up declarative self-talk.
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the interrogative, by its very form, elicits answers—and within those answers are strategies for actually carrying out the task.
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Interrogative self-talk, the researchers say, “may inspire thoughts about autonomous or intrinsically motivated reasons to pursue a goal.”5 As ample research has demonstrated, people are more likely to act, and to perform well, when the motivations come from intrinsic choices rather than from extrinsic pressures.6
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Declarative self-talk risks bypassing one’s motivations. Questioning self-talk elicits the reasons for doing something and reminds people that many of those reasons come from within.*
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Those who’d heard the positive-inflected pitch were twice as likely to accept the deal as those who’d heard the negative one—even though the terms were identical.
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Negative emotions, she says, evolved to narrow people’s vision and propel their behavior toward survival in the moment (I’m frightened, so I’ll flee. I’m angry, so I’ll fight). By contrast, “Positive emotions do the opposite: They broaden people’s ideas about possible actions, opening our awareness to a wider range of thoughts and . . . making us more receptive and more creative,”
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Where negative emotions help us see trees, positive ones reveal forests.
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Cory Scherer and Brad Sagarin of Northern Illinois University have found that inserting a mild profanity like “damn” into a speech increases the persuasiveness of the speech and listeners’ perception of the speaker’s intensity.11
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those with an equal—that is, 1 to 1—balance of positive and negative emotions had no higher well-being than those whose emotions were predominantly negative. Both groups generally were languishing.
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people whose ratio was 2 to 1 positive-to-negative were also no happier than those whose negative emotions exceeded their positive ones.
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Once positive emotions outnumbered negative emotions by 3 to 1—that is, for every three instances of feeling gratitude, interest, or contentment, they experienced only one instance of anger, guilt, or embarrassment—people generally flourished. Those below that ratio usually did not.13
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Once the ratio hit about 11 to 1, positive emotions began doing more harm than good.
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Fredrickson sees the healthy positivity ratios of Hall and others as a calibration between two competing pulls: levity and gravity.
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A pessimistic explanatory style—the habit of believing that “it’s my fault, it’s going to last forever, and it’s going to undermine everything I do”16—is debilitating, Seligman found. It can diminish performance, trigger depression, and “turn setbacks into disasters.”17
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