I'm Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 1

a reminder of the microscopic line between being six and having borderline personality disorder.

Answer 1

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 2

Only the dark half-moons beneath his eyes hinted at a string of midlife disappointments.

Answer 2

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 3

I sometimes felt my husband was, in fact, my third and arguably least affectionate child.

Answer 3

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 4

It gave you a bird’s-eye view of another person’s life. Which in turn reminded you that the bad you had was your choice, and better than the alternative.

Answer 4

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 5

I was well aware that the semicharmed life I led was one part luck to three parts effort.

Answer 5

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 6

I loved my husband. I loved my kids. I mostly liked my life. But I was so damn tired.

Answer 6

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 7

Always eager to demonstrate my black belt in passive aggression, I gave him my best pageant wave and zipped past him.

Answer 7

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 8

her best ideas were the result of, as she had written, “the mental space that comes from being by yourself for stretches of time.”

Answer 8

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 9

it was rumored that soon we would all be working side by side at long tables so we could collaborate—or however the university would fictionalize the latest cost-reduction initiative.

Answer 9

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 10

I would never understand how a man who spent hours on his pecs each week could so blatantly fail to address his nose hair situation.

Answer 10

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 11

Now that sounded more like Jenny, who spouted inspirational quotes the way some people recited Bible verses.

Answer 11

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 12

How was it that everyone else managed to find free time?

Answer 12

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 13

I had to stop because I was about to blurt out all sorts of vulnerable things to a man who probably ate baby bunnies for breakfast.

Answer 13

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 14

I did not just want compliance; I also wanted a hint of enthusiasm.

Answer 14

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 15

Stop there, I thought. Don’t let your beautiful mouth utter another word. Let’s have one more minute where life is what I believe it to be and everything is fine.

Answer 15

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 16

but like so many other things stored in my mind, motherhood had overwritten that file.

Answer 16

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 17

I would quickly come to realize, having a child—and then another—was a professional liability for a person like me, which is to say a woman.

Answer 17

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 18

There is something about seeing someone like you thrive that helps you to do the same.

Answer 18

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 19

What I did not say to him was that it was not so much infatuation as deep relief at having a friend in the thick of it with me—and who seemed to hold the answer to my heart’s hidden question: how to be a good mother.

Answer 19

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 20

“Penny,” said Sanjay, staring at me. I stared back, imagining throwing a carton of fries at him, because what he was asking was for me to parent them. Of all the days—of all the times—could he not step up?

Answer 20

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 21

But something between us had shifted over the course of our marriage, particularly the last two to three years. We had gone from being lovers to best friends to . . . roommates who routinely irritated each other. If I was honest with myself, that was what it felt like most of the time.

Answer 21

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 22

There was a bigger issue, though: most days I had the sense that, while I was frantically dog-paddling to keep our family afloat, Sanjay was sailing by. Our short-term agreement had morphed into an indefinite arrangement:

Answer 22

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 23

it was a crying shame it had taken something so terrible for us to enjoy one lousy connection.

Answer 23

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 24

Lunches to make and deliver. Toilet paper to buy. A car that needed to be retrieved from whatever far-flung lot it had been towed to. It didn’t matter if none of it mattered. It had to be dealt with all the same.

Answer 24

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 25

tragedy had a way of bringing out people’s better angels, and

Answer 25

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 26

Upset was realizing your best black dress was now several shades of maroon because you had entrusted the laundry to your husband, who had confirmed your long-standing suspicion that high standardized test scores had an inverse relationship to practical intelligence.

Answer 26

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 27

We had once been wildly in love; we had once been partners in this life. I couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment that had stopped being true, but pretending I was fine and our marriage would fix itself wouldn’t get us back to that place.

Answer 27

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 28

The ice cream he had dripped on his T-shirt before bed was now a Rorschach stain. To me, it resembled a middle-aged man succumbing to his inner slob.

Answer 28

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 29

had this been lurking in my subconscious, just waiting for the right time to wallop me?

Answer 29

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 30

And sometimes when I saw him bent over his computer, it seemed to me that so many hours with so little to show for it had frayed the best parts of the man I had married.

Answer 30

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 31

But both had an uncanny ability to be there—and yet not be there at all.

Answer 31

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 32

Could I really ask my husband to find me interesting again?

Answer 32

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 33

I want you to be present when you’re present.”

Answer 33

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 34

this was what workaholics did: they worked, even when—or, one could argue, especially when—their family needed them.

Answer 34

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 35

the fastest way to murder your libido is to remove spontaneity from the equation.”

Answer 35

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 36

“This isn’t a contest” was something winners said to make losers feel better.

Answer 36

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 37

the more he cared about something, the less likely he was to finish it.

Answer 37

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 38

Except after we got to the restaurant and ordered and were looking at each other from across the small table where we’d been seated, it became painfully apparent how rusty we were at the art of adult conversation.

Answer 38

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 39

What if your marriage does fail? Unfortunately, I knew the answer to her question: Then my family fell apart. Then my children didn’t have the happy home I had sworn I would give them. Then I would have broken all of the promises I made myself as a child.

Answer 39

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 40

“Even when you’re direct, you still manage to avoid confrontation,”

Answer 40

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 41

I had been in the office an hour and still had approximately three hundred and twelve things to do before lunch,

Answer 41

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 42

addiction makes liars out of people.”

Answer 42

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 43

This was a partial truth, which is known in some circles as a lie.

Answer 43

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 44

His eyes were searching my face, which felt too intimate, even in the middle of a crowded sports bar.

Answer 44

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 45

why was it so easy to think about sleeping with someone completely inappropriate instead of with the person I’d vowed to love for the rest of my natural life?

Answer 45

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 46

I had done the right thing by being honest and direct. And now I had to live with the consequences.

Answer 46

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 47

As a girl, I couldn’t make my mother stay or make my father be more caring, and that inability had been the hardest reality of my childhood. I still couldn’t make anyone other than myself do anything. But I was no longer a child hindered by her own powerlessness. I was a grown woman with the tools to fight for the people I loved.

Answer 47

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 48

as these things go, the conversation had been so much easier in my head.

Answer 48

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 49

‘If a mother isn’t happy, no one’s happy.’”

Answer 49

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 50

I had been looking at things with the right intention but from the wrong angle.

Answer 50

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 51

I’d forgotten how enlivening it was to make love, to want and be wanted.

Answer 51

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 52

When he wasn’t wearing the demands of everyday life all over his face, he was incredibly attractive.

Answer 52

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 53

“It’s amazing how easy it is to be persuasive when you threaten not to show up for Christmas.”

Answer 53

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 54

Through the loft windows before me, downtown Brooklyn was twinkling. At another time in my life, every one of those lights would have looked like an opportunity. Now they were just lights.

Answer 54

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 55

It had been such a wonderful few days—almost like early in our marriage—that I wished we could have stayed longer, if only to hold on to that magic.

Answer 55

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 56

“Because love was worth the risk,”

Answer 56

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 57

sometimes I tell myself I don’t have the time or I’m too tired, but now that I’m thinking about it, the truth is that I haven’t made it a priority.”

Answer 57

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 58

Or the blogger whose life seems too good to be true? Odds are, she feels a whole lot like you do. So be gentle on her—and yourself.

Answer 58

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 59

It wasn’t painkillers that killed Jenny—not truly. It was that she was afraid to admit anything was wrong.

Answer 59

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 60

sharing her life online meant strangers—and even loved ones, me included—came to think of her in the particular way she presented herself online.

Answer 60

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 61

our marriage was not strengthened during good times, or even during the bad. It was working together toward a common goal that cemented our bond.

Answer 61

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán

Question 62

Close female friendships are built one secret at a time.

Answer 62

I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán