I'm Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán Flashcards
a reminder of the microscopic line between being six and having borderline personality disorder.
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
Only the dark half-moons beneath his eyes hinted at a string of midlife disappointments.
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
I sometimes felt my husband was, in fact, my third and arguably least affectionate child.
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
It gave you a bird’s-eye view of another person’s life. Which in turn reminded you that the bad you had was your choice, and better than the alternative.
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
I was well aware that the semicharmed life I led was one part luck to three parts effort.
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
I loved my husband. I loved my kids. I mostly liked my life. But I was so damn tired.
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
Always eager to demonstrate my black belt in passive aggression, I gave him my best pageant wave and zipped past him.
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
her best ideas were the result of, as she had written, “the mental space that comes from being by yourself for stretches of time.”
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
it was rumored that soon we would all be working side by side at long tables so we could collaborate—or however the university would fictionalize the latest cost-reduction initiative.
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
I would never understand how a man who spent hours on his pecs each week could so blatantly fail to address his nose hair situation.
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
Now that sounded more like Jenny, who spouted inspirational quotes the way some people recited Bible verses.
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
How was it that everyone else managed to find free time?
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
I had to stop because I was about to blurt out all sorts of vulnerable things to a man who probably ate baby bunnies for breakfast.
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
I did not just want compliance; I also wanted a hint of enthusiasm.
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
Stop there, I thought. Don’t let your beautiful mouth utter another word. Let’s have one more minute where life is what I believe it to be and everything is fine.
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
but like so many other things stored in my mind, motherhood had overwritten that file.
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
I would quickly come to realize, having a child—and then another—was a professional liability for a person like me, which is to say a woman.
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
There is something about seeing someone like you thrive that helps you to do the same.
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
What I did not say to him was that it was not so much infatuation as deep relief at having a friend in the thick of it with me—and who seemed to hold the answer to my heart’s hidden question: how to be a good mother.
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
“Penny,” said Sanjay, staring at me. I stared back, imagining throwing a carton of fries at him, because what he was asking was for me to parent them. Of all the days—of all the times—could he not step up?
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
But something between us had shifted over the course of our marriage, particularly the last two to three years. We had gone from being lovers to best friends to . . . roommates who routinely irritated each other. If I was honest with myself, that was what it felt like most of the time.
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
There was a bigger issue, though: most days I had the sense that, while I was frantically dog-paddling to keep our family afloat, Sanjay was sailing by. Our short-term agreement had morphed into an indefinite arrangement:
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
it was a crying shame it had taken something so terrible for us to enjoy one lousy connection.
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
Lunches to make and deliver. Toilet paper to buy. A car that needed to be retrieved from whatever far-flung lot it had been towed to. It didn’t matter if none of it mattered. It had to be dealt with all the same.
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
tragedy had a way of bringing out people’s better angels, and
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
Upset was realizing your best black dress was now several shades of maroon because you had entrusted the laundry to your husband, who had confirmed your long-standing suspicion that high standardized test scores had an inverse relationship to practical intelligence.
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
We had once been wildly in love; we had once been partners in this life. I couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment that had stopped being true, but pretending I was fine and our marriage would fix itself wouldn’t get us back to that place.
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
The ice cream he had dripped on his T-shirt before bed was now a Rorschach stain. To me, it resembled a middle-aged man succumbing to his inner slob.
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
had this been lurking in my subconscious, just waiting for the right time to wallop me?
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
And sometimes when I saw him bent over his computer, it seemed to me that so many hours with so little to show for it had frayed the best parts of the man I had married.
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
But both had an uncanny ability to be there—and yet not be there at all.
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
Could I really ask my husband to find me interesting again?
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
I want you to be present when you’re present.”
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
this was what workaholics did: they worked, even when—or, one could argue, especially when—their family needed them.
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
the fastest way to murder your libido is to remove spontaneity from the equation.”
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
“This isn’t a contest” was something winners said to make losers feel better.
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
the more he cared about something, the less likely he was to finish it.
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
Except after we got to the restaurant and ordered and were looking at each other from across the small table where we’d been seated, it became painfully apparent how rusty we were at the art of adult conversation.
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
What if your marriage does fail? Unfortunately, I knew the answer to her question: Then my family fell apart. Then my children didn’t have the happy home I had sworn I would give them. Then I would have broken all of the promises I made myself as a child.
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
“Even when you’re direct, you still manage to avoid confrontation,”
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
I had been in the office an hour and still had approximately three hundred and twelve things to do before lunch,
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
addiction makes liars out of people.”
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
This was a partial truth, which is known in some circles as a lie.
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
His eyes were searching my face, which felt too intimate, even in the middle of a crowded sports bar.
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
why was it so easy to think about sleeping with someone completely inappropriate instead of with the person I’d vowed to love for the rest of my natural life?
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
I had done the right thing by being honest and direct. And now I had to live with the consequences.
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
As a girl, I couldn’t make my mother stay or make my father be more caring, and that inability had been the hardest reality of my childhood. I still couldn’t make anyone other than myself do anything. But I was no longer a child hindered by her own powerlessness. I was a grown woman with the tools to fight for the people I loved.
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
as these things go, the conversation had been so much easier in my head.
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
‘If a mother isn’t happy, no one’s happy.’”
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
I had been looking at things with the right intention but from the wrong angle.
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
I’d forgotten how enlivening it was to make love, to want and be wanted.
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
When he wasn’t wearing the demands of everyday life all over his face, he was incredibly attractive.
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
“It’s amazing how easy it is to be persuasive when you threaten not to show up for Christmas.”
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
Through the loft windows before me, downtown Brooklyn was twinkling. At another time in my life, every one of those lights would have looked like an opportunity. Now they were just lights.
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
It had been such a wonderful few days—almost like early in our marriage—that I wished we could have stayed longer, if only to hold on to that magic.
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
“Because love was worth the risk,”
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
sometimes I tell myself I don’t have the time or I’m too tired, but now that I’m thinking about it, the truth is that I haven’t made it a priority.”
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
Or the blogger whose life seems too good to be true? Odds are, she feels a whole lot like you do. So be gentle on her—and yourself.
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
It wasn’t painkillers that killed Jenny—not truly. It was that she was afraid to admit anything was wrong.
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
sharing her life online meant strangers—and even loved ones, me included—came to think of her in the particular way she presented herself online.
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
our marriage was not strengthened during good times, or even during the bad. It was working together toward a common goal that cemented our bond.
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
Close female friendships are built one secret at a time.
I’m Fine and Neither Are You by Camille Pagán
