Lecture 1: Our Longing for Social Connection Flashcards
emotional life events
- Our most intense emotional experiences tend to be interpersonal (relationship-focused) rather than independent (self-focused)
- ~ 3.59/5 participants listed the most negative and positive emotional events in their lives as interdependent
- The general finding holds across different age groups, and periods (ex. Month vs. lifetime), and is true of both men and women
- Interdependent events were also rated as having a stronger, longer-lasting emotional impact
independent vs. interdependent events
Even seemingly self-oriented independent events (ex. Achievement-oriented stresses or successes) may not be truly independent
the need to belong
Human beings have a fundamental need to form and maintain at least a minimum quantity of lasting, positive, and significant interpersonal relationships
fundamental
- Essential, indispensable, integral, intrinsic
- Something that would have to come programmed in
- Suggests an evolutionary perspective
natural selection
the process through which certain traits become more or less common in a population over time
3 components of natural selection
- variation
- heredity
- differential fitness
variation
within a population of organisms, there is variation in traits or characteristics
heredity
some of this variation is passed down from parents to offspring through genetic inheritance
differential fitness
not all individuals in a population survive and reproduce equally
adaptations
- Favourable traits better suited to the environment that increase chances of survival & reproduction
- These favourable traits gradually accumulate over generations
issues with natural selection
- inclusive fitness
- Selection happens at the level of the gene, not the individual
inclusive fitness
- Success in passing on one’s genes to the next generation
- Comprises both individual survival & reproduction and impact on the survival and reproduction of genetic relatives
environment of evolutionary adaptedness
the ancestral environment to which a species is adapted
how did group living benefit humans evolutionarily?
- Help hunting large game & foraging
- Sharing food
- Defensive vigilance and greater strength against predators and hostile outgroups
- Help caring for offspring
- Access to mates
testaments to the life-sustaining benefits of belonging
- Babies
- The Shanidar, a disabled Homo neanderthalensis who lived into his 40s by receiving help from others
the need to belong and reproduction
Those who were more motivated to belong would be more likely to survive, passing on those belonging-inclined genes
cross-cultural evidence of universality
- People in every society on Earth naturally gravitate towards small primary groups
- People become attached to even meaningless groups
- People around the world experience profound distress when their relationships are threatened or lost
cross-species evidence for universality of the fundamental need to belong
- Research on baboon BFFs (determined based on how long they spend grooming each other)
- Female baboons with stronger & more stable social bonds live longer
- They also have a better chance of their offspring surviving
evidence for the fundamental need to belong
- cross-cultural evidence of universality
- cross-species evidence of universality
- one perspective on emotion argues that we share the same basic emotional brain circuitry with other animals
- we don’t have social experiences, we actively construct social experiences
how is the fundamental need to belong universal?
all around the world, social bonds:
- Are easy to form
- Hard to break
&
- We suffer when relationships end or when we lack relationships
characteristics of intimate relationships
- knowledge
- interdependence
- caring
- trust
- responsiveness
- mutuality
- committment
knowledge
extensive, very personal
interdependence
impact each other in frequent, strong, diverse, and enduring ways
caring
affection
trust
expect to be treated well
responsiveness
feeling that one’s partner understands, respects, and appreciates one
mutuality
“us” vs. “me” and “them”
commitment
the expectation that the relationship will continue and one will continue to invest in the relationship
Sternberg’s triangular theory of love
love is made up of 3 components, which can range from low to high: passion, intimacy, and commitment
passion
- Physical arousal, desire, excitement, and need
- Usually includes sexual desire
- Typically the difference between “loving” and “being in love”
intimacy
- Feelings of closeness, connection, and warmth
- Emotional component
- Warm/emotional component
commitment
- Permanence, stability, and the desire to maintain the relationship
- Cold/cognitive component
kinds of love
- nonlove
- liking
- infatuated love
- empty love
- romantic love
- companionate love
- fatuous love
- consummate love
nonlove
- intimacy, passion, and commitment are all absent/low
- Ex. casual, superficial relationship
liking
- intimacy is high; passion and commitment are low
- Ex. many friendships
infatuated love
- passion is high; intimacy and commitment are low
- Ex. love at first sight
empty love
- commitment is high; intimacy and passion are low
- Ex. burned-out relationships, arranged marriages
romantic love
- high intimacy and passion, but not high commitment
- Can lead to commitment, but not necessarily
companionate love
- high intimacy and commitment, but low passion
- Ex. long, happy marriages
fatuous love
- high passion and commitment, but low intimacy
- Ex. whirlwind courtships
consummate love
- high intimacy, passion, and commitment
- Highly sought after, but may be hard to maintain over time
