Chapter 3: Attraction

Question 1

the fundamental basis of attraction

Answer 1

We are attracted to those whose presence is rewarding to us

Question 2

two types of rewards that influence attraction

Answer 2

direct & indirect rewards

Question 3

direct rewards

Answer 3

rewards we receive from our interaction with others

Question 4

indirect rewards

Answer 4

benefits of which we’re not always aware and that are merely associated with someone else

Question 5

instrumentality

Answer 5

the extent to which someone can help us achieve our present goals

Question 6

impact of instrumentality on relationships

Answer 6

We’re attracted to people who can help us get what we currently want

Question 7

key influences on attraction

Answer 7

• proximity
• physical attractiveness
• reciprocity
• similarity

Question 8

proximity

Answer 8

• Relationships are more rewarding when they involve people who are physically and psychologically close
• Proximity makes it more likely that two people will meet and interact
• Proximity is convenient

Question 9

when is proximity problematic?

Answer 9

when partners in long-distance relationships are reunited after time apart because they have to renegotiate their roles and rhythms and confront the things that they didn’t like about each other

Question 10

why are online dating outcomes often disappointing?

Answer 10

• Users encounter a lot of ambiguous rejection
• There are fewer partners out there than it may seem
• The abundance of choice isn’t necessarily conducive to relationship success

Question 11

mere exposure effect

Answer 11

Mere exposure to someone usually increases our liking for them

Question 12

physical attractiveness and first impressions

Answer 12

Physical attractiveness influences the first impressions we form

Question 13

assumptions about attractive people

Answer 13

• We tend to assume that good-looking people are more likable and better people than those who are unattractive
• We make these decisions automatically

Question 14

notions of attractiveness across people

Answer 14

People generally share the same notions of who’s attractive and who isn’t

Question 15

physical attractiveness in newborns study

Answer 15

Newborn infants exhibit preferences for faces that adults find attractive

Question 16

what faces are considered more attractive?

Answer 16

• “Averaged” faces tend to be more attractive
• Facial symmetry is considered attractive

Question 17

scent and physical attractiveness

Answer 17

People prefer the natural scent of attractive people to unattractive people

Question 18

evolutionary view of physical attractiveness

Answer 18

• Some theorists argue that our standards of beauty have an evolutionary basis
• Early humans who sought fertile, robust, and healthy mates were more likely to reproduce

Question 19

context and physical attractiveness

Answer 19

Standards of attractiveness are also affected by changing economic and cultural conditions

Question 20

what predicts interest after a speed date?

Answer 20

The most important predictor of interest after a brief first date remains physical attractiveness

Question 21

downside of being attractive

Answer 21

Attractive people are used to pleasant interactions with others, but they tend not to trust other people as much as less attractive people do

Question 22

matching

Answer 22

partners in established romantic relationships tend to have similar levels of physical attractiveness

Question 23

when is matching more vs. less likely

Answer 23

• This is especially prevalent in long-term relationships
• Matching is less likely to occur in partners who were platonic friends before a romance developed

Question 24

mate value equation

Answer 24

a potential partner’s desirability = his/her physical attractiveness x his/her probability of accepting you

Question 25

mate value

Answer 25

- Our overall attractiveness as a reproductive partner - People with high mate value can insist on partners of high-quality

Question 26

how do we know what to expect when we approach partners?

Answer 26

Our histories of acceptance and rejection from others have taught us what to expect when we approach new potential partners

Question 27

what is the best way to approach someone who you want to get to know?

Answer 27

tell them you want to get to know them

Question 28

why are we attracted to reciprocity?

Answer 28

Liking and acceptance from others is powerfully rewarding, so we’re attracted to those who provide it

Question 29

what works best to attract people?

Answer 29

being selectively hard to get: being a difficult catch for everyone but the person you’re trying to attract

Question 30

similarity and relationships

Answer 30

We are attracted to people who are similar to us

Question 31

3 types of similarity

Answer 31

demographic, attitudinal, and personality similarity

Question 32

demographic similarity

Answer 32

similarity in age, sex, race, education, religion, and social class

Question 33

attitudinal similarity

Answer 33

similarity in attitudes and values

Question 34

personality similarity

Answer 34

has more to do with whether one is agreeable, conscientious, and emotionally stable, and such, is easy and pleasant to live with

Question 35

what type of similarity is LEAST important?

Answer 35

personality similarity

Question 36

perceived vs. actual similarity

Answer 36

Perceived similarity matters more than actual similarity

Question 37

similarities in interracial couples

Answer 37

if you ignore differences in ethnicity, interethnic couples are guided by the same motivations as other couples

Question 38

why do people perceive they are more similar to their partners than they are?

Answer 38

Discovering dissimilarities can take time

Question 39

Stimulus-value-role theory

Answer 39

we gain three different broad types of information about our partners as a new relationship develops

Question 40

stimulus stage

Answer 40

based on obvious attributes

Question 41

value stage

Answer 41

depends on similarities in attitudes and beliefs

Question 42

role stage

Answer 42

depends on similarities in painting, careers, and other life tasks

Question 43

fatal attractions

Answer 43

when a quality that initially attracts one person to another gradually becomes one of the most obnoxious, irritating things about that partner

Question 44

similarity to one's ideal self

Answer 44

- We are attracted to others who are similar to our ideal selves - It can be threatening when people surpass us and make us look bad in comparison, but if they’re only a little better than us, they can offer us implicit encouragement

Question 45

dissimilarity over time

Answer 45

Dissimilarity may decrease over time as couples share compelling experiences and consciously seek compatibility and commitment

Question 46

what similarities matter most?

Answer 46

Similarities on issues that are important to us

Question 47

is matching only applicable to physical attractiveness?

Answer 47

no, matching is broader than just physical attractiveness alone (ex. Using income to gain a higher mate value)

Question 48

complementarity

Answer 48

reactions that provide a good fit to our own

Question 49

complementarity in relationships

Answer 49

Complementarity is seen to be attractive

Question 50

similar goals in couples

Answer 50

Similar partners are more likely to share our goals

Question 51

what traits do both men and women want?

Answer 51

- Warmth and loyalty: being trustworthy, kind, supportive, and understanding - Attractiveness and vitality: being good-looking, sexy, and outgoing - Status and resources: being financially secure and living well

Question 52

gender differences in attraction

Answer 52

- Men attend to looks more and women attend to resources more

Question 53

attraction to long-term vs. short-term partners

Answer 53

Both men and women have lower standards when pursuing short-term flings