Chapter 11: Conflict Flashcards
conflict in close relationships
Conflict is inevitable in close relationships
interdependency and conflict
The more interdependent a couple is, the more likely occasional conflict becomes
conflict management
The way partners manage their conflict can either enhance or erode the relationship
conflict
occurs when one’s wishes or actions obstruct or impede those of someone else
why is conflict inescapable in close relationships?
- The moods and preferences of any two people occasionally differ
- There are certain tensions that are woven into the fabric of close relationships that will inevitably cause some strain
Dialectics
opposing motivations that can never be entirely satisfied because they contradict each other
common dialectics in close relationships
- Autonomy vs. connection
- Openness vs. closedness
- Stability vs. change
- Integration vs. separation from one’s social network
the frequency of conflict
- Partners engage in conflict frequently
- Many conflicts are never addressed
personality and the frequency of conflict
people who are high in negative emotionality have more negative disagreements. Those high in agreeableness have fewer conflicts, and if it does occur, they react more constructively
attachment style and the frequency of conflict
secure people encounter less conflict and manage it better than insecure people
stage of life and the frequency of conflict
conflict with romantic partners increases steadily from our late teens to our mid-20s, but things settle down somewhat thereafter. In old age, couples have fewer disagreements than middle-aged couples and manage conflict better
similarity and the frequency of conflict
the less similar dating partners are, the more conflict they experience
stress and the frequency of conflict
the greater combined stress two partners have experienced during the day, the more likely they are to encounter conflict that evening
sleep and the frequency of conflict
whenever one partner has sleept poorly, romantic couples encounter more conflict that day
alcohol and the frequency of conflict
intoxication exacerbates conflict
four common categories of conflict
- criticism
- illegitimate demands
- rebuffs
- cumulative annoyances
criticism
involves verbal or nonverbal acts that are judged to communicate unfair dissatisfaction with a partner’s behaviour, attitude, or trait
illegitimate demands
involve requests that seem unjust because they exceed the normal expectations that the partners hold for each other
rebuffs
involve situations in which one person appeals to another for a desired reaction and the other person fails to respond as expected
cumulative annoyances
relatively trivial events that become annoying with repetition
evolutionary perspective on conflict
some conflict in heterosexual relationships flows naturally from differences in the partners’ reproductive interests (ex. Men’s higher sex drives)
sexuality and conflict
LGB couples disagree over similar topics to heterosexual couples
what are some common issues that produce martial conflict?
- children
- chores
- communication
- leisure
- work
- money
two ways partners attributions can create conflict
- Frustrating misunderstandings can result if people fail to appreciate that their partners have their own individual points of view
- Attributional conflict: fighting over whose explanation is right and whose is wrong