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PSYC 474 > Chapter 7: Friendship > Flashcards

Chapter 7: Friendship Flashcards

1
Q

friendship

A

a voluntary personal relationship, typically providing intimacy and assistance, in which the two parties like one another and seek each other’s company

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2
Q

does friendship contain the key elements of intimacy?

A

Friendships are based on the same building blocks of intimacy as romances are, but the mix of components is usually different

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3
Q

friendship and intimacy statistics

A

Over ⅓ of young adults consider a friendship to be their most intimate current relationship

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4
Q

differences between friendship and love

A
  • Both involve positive and warm evaluations of one’s partner
  • Love involves a fascination with one’s partner, sexual desire, a greater desire for exclusivity, more overt expressions of positive emotion, more time spent together, and more stringent standards of conduct
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5
Q

attributes of friendships

A
  • Affection
  • Communion
  • Companionship
  • Respect
  • Trust
  • Capitalization
  • Social support
  • Perceived partner’s responsiveness
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6
Q

capitalization

A

a pattern of interaction in which we share good news with friends and receive enthusiastic, rewarding responses that increase our pleasure and our relationships

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7
Q

key elements of social support

A
  • It has real physiological effects and mental health benefits
  • It leads people to feel closer to those who provide it
  • Some people are better providers of support than others
  • The best social support fits our needs and preferences
  • It’s not what people do for us but what we think they do for us that matters in the long run
  • Our personal characteristics affect our perceptions of social support
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8
Q

invisible support

A

support that is subtly provided without fanfare and goes unnoticed by the recipient

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9
Q

attachment style and perceptions of social support

A

Insecurely attached people tend to judge social support as less considerate and helpful than those with secure attachment styles

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10
Q

attachment style and providing social support

A

secure individuals are better providers of support

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11
Q

perceived partner’s responsiveness

A

the judgment that someone is attentive, respectful, caring and supportive with respect to our needs and aspirations

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12
Q

importance of perceived partner’s responsiveness

A

Associated with greater feelings of closeness, better sleep, and lower levels of stress

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13
Q

why does friendship matter more than we think?

A
  • Our friends can help make or break our romantic relationships
  • Having happy friends makes it more likely we’ll be happy as well
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14
Q

rules for friendship

A

shared cultural beliefs about what behaviours friends should and should not perform

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15
Q

In general, we expected good friends to be:

A
  • Trustworthy and loyal, having our best interests at heart
  • Confidants with whom we can share our secrets
  • Enjoyable and fun companions
  • Similar to us in attitudes and interests
  • Helpful, providing material support when we need it
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16
Q

standards for friends in men vs. women

A

Women have higher standards for their friends than men do

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17
Q

best friends vs. friends

A
  • The difference is a matter of degree
  • Best friends have greater knowledge, trust, interdependence, and commitment than more casual friends do
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18
Q

friendship in childhood

A
  • Preschool children have rudimentary friendships in which they have favourite playmates
  • Friendships gradually grow more complex as children’s cognitive development progresses
  • As children age, they are better able to understand and appreciate other’s perspectives
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19
Q

Buhrmester & Furman’s perspective on childhood friendships

A

With increasing cognitive sophistication comes changes in interpersonal needs. These needs are added on top of each other so that older children have more needs to satisfy than younger children. The successful resolution of each stage requires the development of specific competencies that affect the way a child handles later stages

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20
Q

Buhrmester & Furman’s needs

A
  • Acceptance in elementary years
  • Intimacy in preadolescence
  • Sexuality during the teen years
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21
Q

childhood -> adult relationships

A
  • Success in childhood relationships paves the way for better adult outcomes
  • Interventions that teach social skills to enhance children’s acceptance by their peers reduce their risk of later maladjustment
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22
Q

Key changes in friendships during the teen years:

A
  • Teens spend less time with their families and more time with their friends
  • Adolescents increasingly turn to their friends for the satisfaction of important attachment needs
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23
Q

friendship in young adulthood

A
  • The quality of our teen friendships, but not our teen romances, predict how satisfied we’ll be with our romantic relationships when we’re 30
  • Young adults see less of their friends each week once they graduate college. However, they tend to have deeper, more interdependent relationships with the friends they have
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24
Q

friendship in midlife

A
  • Dyadic withdrawal
  • Spouses often have larger social networks than they did when they were single because they see a lot more of their in-laws
  • The focus of socializing shifts from one’s personal friends to family and friends one shares with their spouse
  • Spouses encounter more frustrations and difficulties when they have no friends in common
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25
Q

dyadic withdrawal

A
  • As people see more of a lover, they see less of their friends
  • Friendships with members of the other sex are especially affected
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26
Q

friendship in old age

A
  • Elderly people have smaller social networks and fewer friends than younger people do
  • They’re more selective regarding their friendships
27
Q

Socioemotional selectivity theory

A

argues that as their time perspective shrinks, seniors aim for quality not quantity of friends

28
Q

gender differences in same-sex friendships

A
  • Women’s friendships are usually characterized by emotional sharing and self-disclosure. They are closer and more intimate than men’s friendships
  • Men’s friendships revolve around shared activities, companionship, and competition
  • Men and women have the same number of friends on average
  • Women typically have partners that they can turn to outside their romantic relationships for support, but men often do not
29
Q

why are men’s friendships less intimate?

A
  • Men are capable of forming intimate friendships, but they generally choose not to because intimacy is less socially acceptable among men than among women
  • This is due to cultural norms and gender roles
30
Q

opposite-sex friendships

A
  • Cross-sex friendships form for the same reason as same-sex friendships
  • Sexual tension is sometimes present in cross-sex friendships
  • Men are often more expressive with their female friends than their male friends
  • Women want to befriend empathic men
  • Most opposite-sex friendships never become sexual
31
Q

friends with benefits

A
  • Friends who get together solely to have sex
  • Rarely transition into full-fledged romances
  • The most likely outcome is breaking up entirely
32
Q

opposite-sex friendships and romantic relationships

A
  • Cross-sex friendships can be tricky to maintain when partners marry others because spouses are often threatened by a partner’s close connection to a potential rival
  • When people are attracted to a current cross-sex friend, they tend to be less satisfied with their romantic relationships
33
Q

sexuality and friendships

A

Most heterosexual people don’t have a close LGB friend, but most LGB people have a close heterosexual friend

34
Q

Relational self-construals

A
  • The extent to which we think of ourselves as interdependent, rather than independent beings
  • More common in collectivist countries
  • Highly relational people better understand others’ opinions and values and strive to behave in ways that benefit others as well as themselves
35
Q

dark triad and friendship

A

Those who score high on the dark triad make poor friends

36
Q

3 elements of the dark triad

A

narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy

37
Q

narcissism

A

the arrogant self-importance, entitlement, and selfishness that can make a good first impression, but quickly wear thin

38
Q

Machiavellianism

A

cynical, duplicitous, and manipulative, and readily take advantage of others to get what they want

39
Q

Psychopathy

A

bold, impulsive thrill-seekers, who sometimes seem charming, but callously disregard others’ feelings and well-being

40
Q

gender and dark triad traits

A

Men tend to be higher in Machiavellianism than women but the sexes tend to be similar in terms of narcissism and psychopathy

41
Q

can pets be our friends?

A
  • We can loosely apply the term friend to our pets
  • People imagine that their pets have human-like qualities and traits
  • They often feel that their relationships with their pets are just as close as their partnerships with other humans
42
Q

shyness

A
  • the syndrome that combines social reticence and inhibited behaviour with nervous discomfort in social settings
  • Compared to people who are not shy, shy people manage everyday conversation poorly
43
Q

when is shyness common?

A

when we’re in unfamiliar settings or meeting attractive, high-status strangers for the first time

44
Q

3 characteristics that distinguish chronically shy people from those who are less shy:

A
  • Routinely fearing negative evaluation from others
  • Poor self-regard
  • Lower levels of social skill
45
Q

shyness as a self-fulfilling prophecy

A

Shyness often acts as a self-fulfilling prophecy: by having in a timid manner, shy people make negative impressions on others, which they were hoping to avoid

46
Q

can shyness be beneficial?

A

Shyness can keep people from saying something inappropriate in a novel situation, but most of the time, it isn’t beneficial

47
Q

shyness interventions

A
  • Formal programs help people overcome chronic shyness by teaching them social skills and how to manage their anxiety about social evaluation
  • But, these programs usually aren’t necessary. When the threat of personal failure is removed from an interaction, shyness disappears
48
Q

Leary, 1986 shyness study

A

When noise that was said to be impossibly loud gave shy people an excuse for their interactions to go badly, they behaved no differently than did people who were not shy. In contrast, soft noise that was not supposed to interfere with their conversations left them tense and anxious, even though the noise was played at the same volume in both conditions

49
Q

loneliness

A

occurs when there is an unhappy discrepancy between the number and quality of partnerships we want and those we have

50
Q

2 types of loneliness

A

emotional & social loneliness

51
Q

social loneliness

A

being dissatisfied because we lack a social network of friends and acquaintances

52
Q

emotional loneliness

A

being lonely because we lack affection and emotional support from at least one intimate relationship

53
Q

measuring loneliness

A

Loneliness is measured on the UCLA loneliness scale, which has three themes:
1. Isolation from others
2. Feeling less close connection to others than they wish to have
3. Experiencing too little social connection to people in general

54
Q

prevalence of loneliness

A

More than ¼ Americans are emotionally lonely and another 12% suffer from both social and emotional loneliness

55
Q

loneliness and health

A

Prolonged loneliness can have negative health effects

56
Q

loneliness over time

A

Loneliness is often a temporary state

57
Q

potential causes of loneliness

A
  • Nearly half of the variation in loneliness is due to genetic influences
  • Higher levels of extraversion, agreeableness, and conscientiousness are all linked to lower loneliness, while higher negative emotionality increases the chances that we will be lonely
58
Q

loneliness and attachment

A

Insecure attachment is related to loneliness

59
Q

loneliness and self-esteem

A

Lonely people tend to have low self-esteem

60
Q

loneliness and gender

A
  • Men are lonelier than women on average
  • Women’s loneliness does not depend much on whether they currently have a romantic partner but men’s loneliness does
  • Those who are low in expressivity tend toward loneliness when they are not paired with an expressive partner who brings intimacy into their lives
61
Q

loneliness as a self-fulfilling prophecy

A
  • Lonely people tend to display negative attitudes toward others
  • This can make it self-perpetuating
62
Q

loneliness vs. depression

A
  • Loneliness can lead to depression
  • Depression is a broader state of dissatisfaction and distress than loneliness; loneliness emerges from interpersonal troubles
  • Depressed people engage in excessive reassurance-seeking
63
Q

overcoming loneliness

A
  • People overcome loneliness more readily when they attribute their distress to unstable, short-lived influences rather than to lasting deficiencies in themselves or others
  • Lonely people should be careful not to set their expectations too high
  • To overcome loneliness, we need to be friendly
64
Q

Facebook friends

A
  • Facebook does a good job of expanding our casual social networks
  • Active participation on Facebook can combat loneliness
  • Facebook can reinforce low self-esteem
  • Heavy users of Facebook are lonelier than light users
  • The sweet spot for social media use is 30-60 mins per day

PSYC 474 (40 decks)

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