Chapter 13: Dissolution and Loss Flashcards
1
Q
the prevalence of divorce and marriage in the US today
A
- The divorce rate in the US is around 50%
- The length of the average marriage in the US is 18 years
- Only 46% of adult women in the US are presently married
- 23% of American children now live in single-parent homes
2
Q
the prevalence of divorce over time
A
There was a large increase in the rate of divorce in the second half of the 20th century
3
Q
Potential reasons for the increasing divorce rate
A
- We expect more of marriage, holding it to higher standards
- Working women have more financial freedom and better access to attractive alternatives, and they experience more corrosive conflict between work and family
- Creeping individualism and social mobility leave us less tied to, and less affected by, community norms that might discourage divorce
- New laws have made divorce more socially acceptable and easier to obtain
- Casual cohabitation weakens commitment to marriage
- Children of divorce are more likely to divorce when they become adults
- More of us have friends who are divorced
4
Q
Levinger’s barrier model
A
Argues that three elements influence the breakup of relationships
5
Q
3 elements of Levinger’s barrier model
A
- Attraction: enhanced by the rewards of a relationship offers and is diminished by its cost
- Alternates: any alternative to a current relationship
- Barriers: factors that make it hard to leave a relationship
6
Q
key contributions of Levinger’s barrier model
A
- Highlights the fact that unhappy partners who would like to break up may stay together because it would cost them too much to leave
- Points out that many barriers to divorce are psychological
7
Q
Karney and Bradbury’s vulnerability-stress-adaptation model
A
Highlights three factors that can contribute to divorce
8
Q
3 elements of Karney and Bradbury’s vulnerability-stress-adaptation model
A
- Enduring vulnerabilities: increase one’s risk of divorce. Include one’s inborn traits and past experiences.
- Adaptive processes: processes with which people respond to stress
- Stressful events: require partners to provide support to one another and adjust to new circumstances
9
Q
stress spillover
A
bringing surly moods home and interacting irascibly with our innocent partners
10
Q
Processes of Adaptation in Intimate Relationships (PAIR) Project
A
kept track of 168 couples who married in 1981 and focused on the manner in which spouses adapted to their lives together
11
Q
findings of the PAIR project
A
after 13 years, 35% of couples had divorced, 20% weren’t happy, and 45% were happily married
12
Q
3 possible explanations for the PAIR project findings
A
- enduring dynamics model
- emergent distress model
- disillusionment model
13
Q
enduring dynamics model
A
suggests that spouses bring to their marriages problems, incompatibilities, and enduring vulnerabilities that surface during their courtship
14
Q
interventions for enduring dynamics model
A
keeping ambivalent couples from ever marrying
15
Q
emergent distress model
A
suggests that problematic behaviour that ultimately destroys a couple begins after they marry
16
Q
interventions for emergent distress model
A
encourage spouses to remain cheerful, generous, attentive, and kind
17
Q
disillusionment model
A
suggests that as time goes by, spouses stop working as hard to be charming and the romance fades
18
Q
interventions for the disillusionment model
A
maintain dispassionate and accurate perceptions of one’s lover
19
Q
which models did the PAIR project support?
A
- The PAIR project found that the enduring dynamics and the disillusionment model, but not the emergent distress model predicted divorce
- Couples whose marriages were short-lived began their marriages with less love and those who divorced after longer periods were especially affectionate
- This is consistent with the disillusionment model (they had further to fall)
20
Q
Two main conclusions from the PAIR project
A
- The size and speed of changes in romance best predict which couples will divorce
- The problems couples bring into their marriage determine how quickly a divorce will occur
21
Q
Early Years of Marriage (EYM) Project
A
followed Black and white couples in Detroit to determine how the social conditions they experience affect their marital outcomes
22
Q
EYM project findings
A
Found that Black couples were more prone to divorce
23
Q
Potential reasons for higher divorce rate in Black couples
A
- Black couples had cohabitated for a longer period
- They were more likely to have had children before getting married
- They had lower incomes
- They were more likely to have come from broken homes
24
Q
Three broad influences on marital outcomes
A
Cultural context
Personal contexts
Relational context
25
relational context
the intimate environment couples create through their own perceptions of and interactions with each other
26
Marital Instability Over the Life Course Project
conducted phone interviews to determine what caused divorces
27
Marital Instability Over the Life Course Project findings
- Women complained of infidelity, substance abuse, and abuse more often than men
- Men were more likely to complain of poor communication or to announce that they did not know what had gone wrong
- Ex-wifes complained more than ex-husbands
- Few accounts from either sex acknowledge the possible influences of cultural or personal contexts
28
SES and divorce
people with low-status occupations, less education, and lower incomes are more likely to divorce than are those with higher SES. in particular, women with good eductaion are much less likely to divorce than women with poor education are
29
race and divorce
due to their greater exposure to otehr risk factors, such as low income, premarital birth, parental divorce, and cohabitation, and despite their greater respect for marraige, Black Americans are more likely to divorce than white Americans are
30
sex ratios and divorce
around the world, divorce rates are higher when women outnumber men and the sex ratio is low
31
social mobility and divorce
people who move often from place to place are more prone to divorce than are those who stay in one place and put down roots
32
no-fault legislation and divorce
laws that make a divorce easier to obtaion make a divorce more likely
33
working women and divorce
divorce rates incraese when a higher proportion of women enter the workforce
34
age at marriage and divorce
people who marry as teenagers are more likely to divorce than those who marry after age 25
35
prior marriage and divorce
second marriages are more likely to end in divorce than first marriages, in part because remarriages always involve someone who has already been divorced
36
parental divorce and divorce
parents who divorce increase the chances that their children will divorce. however, as divorce becomes more commonplace, this effect is declining
37
religion and divorce
attendance at religious services is correlated with a lower risk of divorce, especially when both spouses attend regularly and pursue the same faith. divorce is more likely when spouses pursue different faiths
38
teenage sex and divorce
first intercourse that is unwanted or that occurs before the age of 16 is associated with an increased risk of divorce
39
premarital cohabitation and divorce
premarital cohabitation is associated with higher divorce rates, but the added risk isn't great if the couple is engaged to be married when cohabitation begins
40
premarital ambivalence and divorce
mixed feelingd and uncertainty during courtship about where the relationship is heading are associated with higher rates of divorce
41
premarital parenthood and divorce
couples who have a baby before they marry are twice as likely to divorce as other couples are
42
expensive weddings and divorce
the more money that is spent on an engagement ring and the wedding ceremony, the shorter a marriage tends to be
43
unintended parenthood and divorce
regardless of the mother's intentions, when a couple has a child that the husband did not intend to have, they're more likely to divorce
44
children and divorce
spouses who have no children are more likely to divorce, but the risk-reducing effect is most noticeable when the children are very young
45
stepchildren and divorce
women who bring children with them into a second marriage are more likely to divorce, but that' s not true of men. evidently, women may find it easier to be a stepparent than men do
46
similarity and divorce
spouses with lots in common are less likely to divorce
47
health insurance and divorce
compared to those who are insured through their partner's plans, spouses who have their own health insurance are more likely to divorce
48
personality attributes and divorce
the higher one's negative emotionality, the more likely one is to divorce. Those who are higher in machiavellianism and psychopathy are more likely to divorce than others are
49
insecure attachment adn divorce
people with insecure styles of attachment are more likely to divorce. Higher risk is associated with avoidance of intimacy than anxiety about abandonment, but both are harmful
50
sociosexuality and divorce
compared to those with restricted orientations, spouses with unrestricted sociosexual orientations are more likely to divorce
51
genetics and divorce
a person who has an identical twin who gets divorce is 5 times more likely to get divorced than had the twin not divorced, even if the two twins were separated at birth. People who were adopted are more likely to divorce if their biological parents divorced, but not if their adoptive parents do
52
lesbianism and divorce
lesbians are more likely to divorce than gay or heterosexual couples
53
stress hormones and divorce
during their first year of marriage, couples who are destined to divorce have chronically higher amounts of the stress hormones epinehphrine and norepinephrine in their blood than couples who will not be divorced 10 years later
54
stressful life events and divorce
the occurence of stressful life events increases the likelihood of divorce.
55
time together and divorce
couples who share more time together are less likely to divorce
56
alcohol and drug abuse and divorce
drug dependency increases the likelihood of divorce
57
infidelity and divorce
cheating by one's spouse makes divorce more likely, but one's own infidelity does not if the partner doens't find out
58
attitudes toward marriage and divorce
people who are pessimistic about marraige are more likely to divorce. Favourable attitudes about divorce also make divorce more likely
59
implicit attitudes and divorce
those who do not readily and automatically assocaited their partners with good, pleasing concepts are more likely to divorce than are those who quikcly and easily associate their spouses with enjoyment and gratification
60
inequities in housework and divorce
spouses who do not share household tasks qually are more likely to divorce than those who share similar amounts of housework
61
marital interactions and divorce
positive interactions predict stability and negative interacitons predict divorce. couples that fail to maintain a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative behaviours are more likely to divorce
62
pecreived support and divorce
the more social support that dissatisfied spouses judge to be available from family and friends, the more likely they are to divorce
63
sexual satisfaction and divorce
greater satisfaction with one's sex life is associated with a lower likelihood of divorce
64
marital satisfaction and divorce
beginning at the honeymoon and thereafter, spouses who are more satisfied with their marraiges are less likely to divorce
65
when do people typically initiate divorce?
People typically initiate divorce only when they finally come to believe that they will be better off without their spouses
66
The “rules of relationships”
- Autonomy: don’t be too possessive
- Similarity: don’t be too different
- Supportiveness: don’t be thoughtless or inconsiderate
- Openness: don’t be close-lipped
- Fidelity: don’t cheat
- Togetherness: don’t spend too much time elsewhere
- Equity: don’t exploit your partner
- Magic: don’t be ordinary
67
Key distinctions in break-ups
- Direct vs. indirect strategies
- Self-oriented or other-oriented strategies
- The gradual vs. sudden onset of one’s discontent
- An individual vs. shared desire to end the partnership
- The rapid vs. protracted nature of one’s exit
- The presence or absence of repair attempts
68
Persevering indirectness
- Gradual dissatisfaction that led one of the partners to make repeated efforts to dissolve the relationship without ever announcing that intention or engaging in attempts to improve or repair the relationship
- The most common pattern
69
attachment and break-up strategies
Those who are high in avoidance of intimacy are more likely to employ indirect strategies
70
Relational cleansing
online housekeeping that follows from the breakup of a relationship
71
5 general stages of breakups
1.Personal phase: a partner grows dissatisfied
2. Dyadic phase: the unhappy partners reveals their discontent
3. Social phase: partners publicize their distress, seeking understanding and support from close others
4. Grave-dressing phase: partners begin to get over their loss
5. Resurrection phase: ex-partners re-enter social life as singles
72
churning
- Occurs when partners break up but then reconcile and get back together
- Usually disadvantageous because it is associated with stress and uncertainty and lower satisfaction
73
sexuality and post-dissolution relationships
Gay and lesbian partners are more likely to remain connected to their ex-lovers after a relationship ends
74
when are breakups particularly difficult?
when there are high degrees of mutuality and self-expansion
75
predicted vs. actual emotions during breakups
Breakups are not as intense as we think they will be and they don’t last forever
76
narratives
- A story that explains your experience
- The positive or negative emotional tone of the narratives that people construct about major events in their partnership provides an indication of how healthy and happy the relationship is
- Often paint ourselves in a favourable light
- Help us to find meaning in what has happened
- The more complete our narratives, the better our adjustment
77
adjusting to breakups study
- Young adults were sad and angry when they broke up with their romantic partners, but those emotions became less intense with time. A month after the breakup, they were more detached from their old relationships and bouncing back
- Their negative emotions were less distressing than they thought they would be
78
rejecting vs. being rejected
It’s generally harder to be rejected than to do the rejecting
79
ruminating vs. reflecting on a breakup
Rumination prolongs our distress, while reflection is associated with positive adjustment and recovery
80
attachment style and coping with breakups
- People high in anxiety about abandonment have more trouble of mentally letting go
- They should try to focus on things they didn’t like about their ex-partner and put themselves out there to help them move on
- People with secure attachment styles fare better after breakups
81
exiting a bad mariage and adjustment
People fare better when they exit a miserable marriage, especially one with an abusive or hostile partner than they do by staying in it
82
German Socio-Economic Panel Study
found that getting married did make people happier for a while, but a few years later, they were not happier than they had been before they wed. Being widowed had lasting negative effects.
83
happiness post-divorce
Most divorces ended a long period of declining happiness, but years later, divorced people remained less happy than those whose marriages were still intact
84
gender differences in remarriage
More men than women remarry because they are generally more interested in remarrying
85
remarriage and happiness
Remarriage is associated with a boost in well-being but this eventually decreases
86
looking back on divorces study
¾ of people report 6 years later that their divorce was a good thing
87
divorce and social support
- People usually lose about ½ of the members of their social networks when their marriages end
- About 50% of people have interactions with their estranged spouses that are hostile or tense
- About ½ of divorced people report that they have relatives who disapprove of their separation
88
divorce and economic resources
- Women’s finances usually deteriorate when they leave marriages
- Men’s finances increase because they usually don’t have children in their households
- Men’s standard of living improves, while women’s decline
89
Four types of post-marital relationships
fiery foes, angry associates, cooperative colleagues, and perfect pals
90
most common type of relationship between ex-spouses
Most exes have cordial relationships (cooperative colleagues or perfect pals)
91
impacts of divorce on children
- Children whose parents divorce exhibit lower levels of well-being as adolescents and young adults
- They experience more depression and anxiety, lower life satisfaction, have more fragile adult relationships, and exhibit more problematic behaviours
92
3 models for understanding the children of divorce
- parental loss model
- parental stress model
- parental conflict model
93
parental loss model
children benefit from having two parents who are devoted to their care, and children who lose a parent for any reason are less likely to be well-off
94
parental stress model
holds that the quality, not the quantity of the parenting that a child receives is key, and any stressor (ex. Economic hardship) that distracts or debilitates one’s parents can have detrimental effects
95
parental conflict model
acrimonious interactions between parents appear to be hard on children, and whether or not a divorce occurs, conflict in the home is associated with more anxiety and poorer health
96
is it beneficial to "stay together for the children?"
- Children who live amidst constant conflict are worse off when the parents don’t divorce
- When a divorce breaks up an angry household, there’s almost no decrease in children’s well-being
97
caveats on children of divorce
- Children are less affected by divorce if they’re able to maintain high-quality relationships with their parents thereafter
- Many of the poorer outcomes experienced by children of divorce gradually fade with time
