Chapter 13: Dissolution and Loss Flashcards

1
Q

the prevalence of divorce and marriage in the US today

A
  • The divorce rate in the US is around 50%
  • The length of the average marriage in the US is 18 years
  • Only 46% of adult women in the US are presently married
  • 23% of American children now live in single-parent homes
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2
Q

the prevalence of divorce over time

A

There was a large increase in the rate of divorce in the second half of the 20th century

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3
Q

Potential reasons for the increasing divorce rate

A
  • We expect more of marriage, holding it to higher standards
  • Working women have more financial freedom and better access to attractive alternatives, and they experience more corrosive conflict between work and family
  • Creeping individualism and social mobility leave us less tied to, and less affected by, community norms that might discourage divorce
  • New laws have made divorce more socially acceptable and easier to obtain
  • Casual cohabitation weakens commitment to marriage
  • Children of divorce are more likely to divorce when they become adults
  • More of us have friends who are divorced
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4
Q

Levinger’s barrier model

A

Argues that three elements influence the breakup of relationships

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5
Q

3 elements of Levinger’s barrier model

A
  • Attraction: enhanced by the rewards of a relationship offers and is diminished by its cost
  • Alternates: any alternative to a current relationship
  • Barriers: factors that make it hard to leave a relationship
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6
Q

key contributions of Levinger’s barrier model

A
  • Highlights the fact that unhappy partners who would like to break up may stay together because it would cost them too much to leave
  • Points out that many barriers to divorce are psychological
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7
Q

Karney and Bradbury’s vulnerability-stress-adaptation model

A

Highlights three factors that can contribute to divorce

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8
Q

3 elements of Karney and Bradbury’s vulnerability-stress-adaptation model

A
  • Enduring vulnerabilities: increase one’s risk of divorce. Include one’s inborn traits and past experiences.
  • Adaptive processes: processes with which people respond to stress
  • Stressful events: require partners to provide support to one another and adjust to new circumstances
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9
Q

stress spillover

A

bringing surly moods home and interacting irascibly with our innocent partners

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10
Q

Processes of Adaptation in Intimate Relationships (PAIR) Project

A

kept track of 168 couples who married in 1981 and focused on the manner in which spouses adapted to their lives together

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11
Q

findings of the PAIR project

A

after 13 years, 35% of couples had divorced, 20% weren’t happy, and 45% were happily married

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12
Q

3 possible explanations for the PAIR project findings

A
  • enduring dynamics model
  • emergent distress model
  • disillusionment model
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13
Q

enduring dynamics model

A

suggests that spouses bring to their marriages problems, incompatibilities, and enduring vulnerabilities that surface during their courtship

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14
Q

interventions for enduring dynamics model

A

keeping ambivalent couples from ever marrying

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15
Q

emergent distress model

A

suggests that problematic behaviour that ultimately destroys a couple begins after they marry

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16
Q

interventions for emergent distress model

A

encourage spouses to remain cheerful, generous, attentive, and kind

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17
Q

disillusionment model

A

suggests that as time goes by, spouses stop working as hard to be charming and the romance fades

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18
Q

interventions for the disillusionment model

A

maintain dispassionate and accurate perceptions of one’s lover

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19
Q

which models did the PAIR project support?

A
  • The PAIR project found that the enduring dynamics and the disillusionment model, but not the emergent distress model predicted divorce
  • Couples whose marriages were short-lived began their marriages with less love and those who divorced after longer periods were especially affectionate
  • This is consistent with the disillusionment model (they had further to fall)
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20
Q

Two main conclusions from the PAIR project

A
  • The size and speed of changes in romance best predict which couples will divorce
  • The problems couples bring into their marriage determine how quickly a divorce will occur
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21
Q

Early Years of Marriage (EYM) Project

A

followed Black and white couples in Detroit to determine how the social conditions they experience affect their marital outcomes

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22
Q

EYM project findings

A

Found that Black couples were more prone to divorce

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23
Q

Potential reasons for higher divorce rate in Black couples

A
  • Black couples had cohabitated for a longer period
  • They were more likely to have had children before getting married
  • They had lower incomes
  • They were more likely to have come from broken homes
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24
Q

Three broad influences on marital outcomes

A

Cultural context
Personal contexts
Relational context

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25
Q

relational context

A

the intimate environment couples create through their own perceptions of and interactions with each other

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26
Q

Marital Instability Over the Life Course Project

A

conducted phone interviews to determine what caused divorces

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27
Q

Marital Instability Over the Life Course Project findings

A
  • Women complained of infidelity, substance abuse, and abuse more often than men
  • Men were more likely to complain of poor communication or to announce that they did not know what had gone wrong
  • Ex-wifes complained more than ex-husbands
  • Few accounts from either sex acknowledge the possible influences of cultural or personal contexts
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28
Q

SES and divorce

A

people with low-status occupations, less education, and lower incomes are more likely to divorce than are those with higher SES. in particular, women with good eductaion are much less likely to divorce than women with poor education are

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29
Q

race and divorce

A

due to their greater exposure to otehr risk factors, such as low income, premarital birth, parental divorce, and cohabitation, and despite their greater respect for marraige, Black Americans are more likely to divorce than white Americans are

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30
Q

sex ratios and divorce

A

around the world, divorce rates are higher when women outnumber men and the sex ratio is low

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31
Q

social mobility and divorce

A

people who move often from place to place are more prone to divorce than are those who stay in one place and put down roots

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32
Q

no-fault legislation and divorce

A

laws that make a divorce easier to obtaion make a divorce more likely

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33
Q

working women and divorce

A

divorce rates incraese when a higher proportion of women enter the workforce

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34
Q

age at marriage and divorce

A

people who marry as teenagers are more likely to divorce than those who marry after age 25

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35
Q

prior marriage and divorce

A

second marriages are more likely to end in divorce than first marriages, in part because remarriages always involve someone who has already been divorced

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36
Q

parental divorce and divorce

A

parents who divorce increase the chances that their children will divorce. however, as divorce becomes more commonplace, this effect is declining

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37
Q

religion and divorce

A

attendance at religious services is correlated with a lower risk of divorce, especially when both spouses attend regularly and pursue the same faith. divorce is more likely when spouses pursue different faiths

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38
Q

teenage sex and divorce

A

first intercourse that is unwanted or that occurs before the age of 16 is associated with an increased risk of divorce

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39
Q

premarital cohabitation and divorce

A

premarital cohabitation is associated with higher divorce rates, but the added risk isn’t great if the couple is engaged to be married when cohabitation begins

40
Q

premarital ambivalence and divorce

A

mixed feelingd and uncertainty during courtship about where the relationship is heading are associated with higher rates of divorce

41
Q

premarital parenthood and divorce

A

couples who have a baby before they marry are twice as likely to divorce as other couples are

42
Q

expensive weddings and divorce

A

the more money that is spent on an engagement ring and the wedding ceremony, the shorter a marriage tends to be

43
Q

unintended parenthood and divorce

A

regardless of the mother’s intentions, when a couple has a child that the husband did not intend to have, they’re more likely to divorce

44
Q

children and divorce

A

spouses who have no children are more likely to divorce, but the risk-reducing effect is most noticeable when the children are very young

45
Q

stepchildren and divorce

A

women who bring children with them into a second marriage are more likely to divorce, but that’ s not true of men. evidently, women may find it easier to be a stepparent than men do

46
Q

similarity and divorce

A

spouses with lots in common are less likely to divorce

47
Q

health insurance and divorce

A

compared to those who are insured through their partner’s plans, spouses who have their own health insurance are more likely to divorce

48
Q

personality attributes and divorce

A

the higher one’s negative emotionality, the more likely one is to divorce. Those who are higher in machiavellianism and psychopathy are more likely to divorce than others are

49
Q

insecure attachment adn divorce

A

people with insecure styles of attachment are more likely to divorce. Higher risk is associated with avoidance of intimacy than anxiety about abandonment, but both are harmful

50
Q

sociosexuality and divorce

A

compared to those with restricted orientations, spouses with unrestricted sociosexual orientations are more likely to divorce

51
Q

genetics and divorce

A

a person who has an identical twin who gets divorce is 5 times more likely to get divorced than had the twin not divorced, even if the two twins were separated at birth. People who were adopted are more likely to divorce if their biological parents divorced, but not if their adoptive parents do

52
Q

lesbianism and divorce

A

lesbians are more likely to divorce than gay or heterosexual couples

53
Q

stress hormones and divorce

A

during their first year of marriage, couples who are destined to divorce have chronically higher amounts of the stress hormones epinehphrine and norepinephrine in their blood than couples who will not be divorced 10 years later

54
Q

stressful life events and divorce

A

the occurence of stressful life events increases the likelihood of divorce.

55
Q

time together and divorce

A

couples who share more time together are less likely to divorce

56
Q

alcohol and drug abuse and divorce

A

drug dependency increases the likelihood of divorce

57
Q

infidelity and divorce

A

cheating by one’s spouse makes divorce more likely, but one’s own infidelity does not if the partner doens’t find out

58
Q

attitudes toward marriage and divorce

A

people who are pessimistic about marraige are more likely to divorce. Favourable attitudes about divorce also make divorce more likely

59
Q

implicit attitudes and divorce

A

those who do not readily and automatically assocaited their partners with good, pleasing concepts are more likely to divorce than are those who quikcly and easily associate their spouses with enjoyment and gratification

60
Q

inequities in housework and divorce

A

spouses who do not share household tasks qually are more likely to divorce than those who share similar amounts of housework

61
Q

marital interactions and divorce

A

positive interactions predict stability and negative interacitons predict divorce. couples that fail to maintain a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative behaviours are more likely to divorce

62
Q

pecreived support and divorce

A

the more social support that dissatisfied spouses judge to be available from family and friends, the more likely they are to divorce

63
Q

sexual satisfaction and divorce

A

greater satisfaction with one’s sex life is associated with a lower likelihood of divorce

64
Q

marital satisfaction and divorce

A

beginning at the honeymoon and thereafter, spouses who are more satisfied with their marraiges are less likely to divorce

65
Q

when do people typically initiate divorce?

A

People typically initiate divorce only when they finally come to believe that they will be better off without their spouses

66
Q

The “rules of relationships”

A
  • Autonomy: don’t be too possessive
  • Similarity: don’t be too different
  • Supportiveness: don’t be thoughtless or inconsiderate
  • Openness: don’t be close-lipped
  • Fidelity: don’t cheat
  • Togetherness: don’t spend too much time elsewhere
  • Equity: don’t exploit your partner
  • Magic: don’t be ordinary
67
Q

Key distinctions in break-ups

A
  • Direct vs. indirect strategies
  • Self-oriented or other-oriented strategies
  • The gradual vs. sudden onset of one’s discontent
  • An individual vs. shared desire to end the partnership
  • The rapid vs. protracted nature of one’s exit
  • The presence or absence of repair attempts
68
Q

Persevering indirectness

A
  • Gradual dissatisfaction that led one of the partners to make repeated efforts to dissolve the relationship without ever announcing that intention or engaging in attempts to improve or repair the relationship
  • The most common pattern
69
Q

attachment and break-up strategies

A

Those who are high in avoidance of intimacy are more likely to employ indirect strategies

70
Q

Relational cleansing

A

online housekeeping that follows from the breakup of a relationship

71
Q

5 general stages of breakups

A

1.Personal phase: a partner grows dissatisfied
2. Dyadic phase: the unhappy partners reveals their discontent
3. Social phase: partners publicize their distress, seeking understanding and support from close others
4. Grave-dressing phase: partners begin to get over their loss
5. Resurrection phase: ex-partners re-enter social life as singles

72
Q

churning

A
  • Occurs when partners break up but then reconcile and get back together
  • Usually disadvantageous because it is associated with stress and uncertainty and lower satisfaction
73
Q

sexuality and post-dissolution relationships

A

Gay and lesbian partners are more likely to remain connected to their ex-lovers after a relationship ends

74
Q

when are breakups particularly difficult?

A

when there are high degrees of mutuality and self-expansion

75
Q

predicted vs. actual emotions during breakups

A

Breakups are not as intense as we think they will be and they don’t last forever

76
Q

narratives

A
  • A story that explains your experience
  • The positive or negative emotional tone of the narratives that people construct about major events in their partnership provides an indication of how healthy and happy the relationship is
  • Often paint ourselves in a favourable light
  • Help us to find meaning in what has happened
  • The more complete our narratives, the better our adjustment
77
Q

adjusting to breakups study

A
  • Young adults were sad and angry when they broke up with their romantic partners, but those emotions became less intense with time. A month after the breakup, they were more detached from their old relationships and bouncing back
  • Their negative emotions were less distressing than they thought they would be
78
Q

rejecting vs. being rejected

A

It’s generally harder to be rejected than to do the rejecting

79
Q

ruminating vs. reflecting on a breakup

A

Rumination prolongs our distress, while reflection is associated with positive adjustment and recovery

80
Q

attachment style and coping with breakups

A
  • People high in anxiety about abandonment have more trouble of mentally letting go
  • They should try to focus on things they didn’t like about their ex-partner and put themselves out there to help them move on
  • People with secure attachment styles fare better after breakups
81
Q

exiting a bad mariage and adjustment

A

People fare better when they exit a miserable marriage, especially one with an abusive or hostile partner than they do by staying in it

82
Q

German Socio-Economic Panel Study

A

found that getting married did make people happier for a while, but a few years later, they were not happier than they had been before they wed. Being widowed had lasting negative effects.

83
Q

happiness post-divorce

A

Most divorces ended a long period of declining happiness, but years later, divorced people remained less happy than those whose marriages were still intact

84
Q

gender differences in remarriage

A

More men than women remarry because they are generally more interested in remarrying

85
Q

remarriage and happiness

A

Remarriage is associated with a boost in well-being but this eventually decreases

86
Q

looking back on divorces study

A

¾ of people report 6 years later that their divorce was a good thing

87
Q

divorce and social support

A
  • People usually lose about ½ of the members of their social networks when their marriages end
  • About 50% of people have interactions with their estranged spouses that are hostile or tense
  • About ½ of divorced people report that they have relatives who disapprove of their separation
88
Q

divorce and economic resources

A
  • Women’s finances usually deteriorate when they leave marriages
  • Men’s finances increase because they usually don’t have children in their households
  • Men’s standard of living improves, while women’s decline
89
Q

Four types of post-marital relationships

A

fiery foes, angry associates, cooperative colleagues, and perfect pals

90
Q

most common type of relationship between ex-spouses

A

Most exes have cordial relationships (cooperative colleagues or perfect pals)

91
Q

impacts of divorce on children

A
  • Children whose parents divorce exhibit lower levels of well-being as adolescents and young adults
  • They experience more depression and anxiety, lower life satisfaction, have more fragile adult relationships, and exhibit more problematic behaviours
92
Q

3 models for understanding the children of divorce

A
  • parental loss model
  • parental stress model
  • parental conflict model
93
Q

parental loss model

A

children benefit from having two parents who are devoted to their care, and children who lose a parent for any reason are less likely to be well-off

94
Q

parental stress model

A

holds that the quality, not the quantity of the parenting that a child receives is key, and any stressor (ex. Economic hardship) that distracts or debilitates one’s parents can have detrimental effects

95
Q

parental conflict model

A

acrimonious interactions between parents appear to be hard on children, and whether or not a divorce occurs, conflict in the home is associated with more anxiety and poorer health

96
Q

is it beneficial to “stay together for the children?”

A
  • Children who live amidst constant conflict are worse off when the parents don’t divorce
  • When a divorce breaks up an angry household, there’s almost no decrease in children’s well-being
97
Q

caveats on children of divorce

A
  • Children are less affected by divorce if they’re able to maintain high-quality relationships with their parents thereafter
  • Many of the poorer outcomes experienced by children of divorce gradually fade with time