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PSYC 474 > Chapter 14: Maintaining and Repairing Relationships > Flashcards

Chapter 14: Maintaining and Repairing Relationships Flashcards

1
Q

Relationship maintenance mechanisms

A

the strategic actions people take to sustain their partnerships

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2
Q

commitment and relationship maintenance

A

People who are committed to a partnership perceive themselves, their parents, and their relationship in ways that help sustain the partnership

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3
Q

cognitive maintenance mechanisms

A
  • cognitive interdependence
  • positive illusions
  • perceived superiority
  • inattention to alternatives
  • derogation of tempting alternatives
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4
Q

cognitive interdependence

A

a change in self-definition whereby individuals think of themselves as part of a greater whole that includes them and their partners

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5
Q

positive illusions

A

involve idealizing one’s partner and perceiving the relationship in the best possible light

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6
Q

perceived superiority

A

committed partners think their relationships are better than most

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7
Q

inattention to alternatives

A

leaves partners relatively uninterested and unaware of how well they could be doing in alternative relationships

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8
Q

derogation of tempting alternatives

A

allows people to feel that other potential partners are less attractive than the ones they already have

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9
Q

behavioural maintenance mechanisms

A
  • willingness to sacrifice
  • prayer
  • michelangelo phenomenon
  • accommodation
  • self-control
  • play
  • rituals
  • forgiveness
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10
Q

willingness to sacrifice

A

committed people make various personal sacrifices to promote the well-being of their partners or their relationships

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11
Q

prayer

A

those who begin praying for the success and well-being of their partners become more satisfied with the sacrifices they make and more forgiving

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12
Q

Michelangelo phenomenon

A

relationships are more likely to prosper when our partners behave toward us in ways that encourage us to gradually become the people we want to be

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13
Q

Accommodation

A

the willingness to respond to a partner’s provocation constructively

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14
Q

self-control

A

the ability to manage one’s impulses, control one’s thoughts, persevere in the pursuit of desired goals, and curb unwanted behaviour

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15
Q

play

A
  • Finding ways to engage in novel, challenging, and exciting activities together
  • Couples are more satisfied when they pay attention to shared pleasures through eager anticipation, alert appreciation as they unfold, and gratifying reminiscence when they are done
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16
Q

rituals

A

recurring patterns of behaviour that become familiar routines that, if gone, would be missed

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17
Q

forgiveness

A

quickens the healing of the relationship and the partner who is wronged

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18
Q

Common characteristics of content partners:

A
  • Positivity: striving to make their interactions enjoyable
  • Openness: encouraging one’s partner to disclose their thoughts and feelings
  • Relationship talks: encouraging one’s partner to communicate what they want from the relationship
  • Assurances: trying to show one’s partner how important they are
  • Understanding: driving to be patient and forgiving
  • Sharing tasks: helping equally when tasks need to be done
  • Social networks: doing things with one’s partner’s friends and family
  • Joint activities: sharing time together
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19
Q

what are the best predictors of how happy a marriage will be?

A

positivity, assurances, and sharing tasks

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20
Q

long-term effects of maintenance mechanisms

A

The beneficial effects of maintenance mechanisms are short, so keep at it

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21
Q

gratitude and contentment

A
  • Expressions of gratitude increase contentment
  • Expressions of gratitude work less well in East - Asian cultures than in Latino or European ones
  • Expressions of gratitude can undermine satisfaction if your partner offers you none in return
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22
Q

attachment style and gratitude

A
  • Insecure attachment is associated with lower gratitude
  • Sincere gratitude can reduce a partner’s attachment anxiety and increase the satisfaction and commitment of an avoidant partner
23
Q

do it yourself relationship repair

A
  • Many TV shows, self-help books and websites are full of suggestions that can help you improve your relationships
  • However, some of this advice is wrong
24
Q

preventative maintenance

A

helps couples fine-tune their expectations and communication skills before problems arise

25
Q

Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program (PREP)

A

involves about 12 hours of training across 5 sessions, discussing the power of commitment to change parents’ outlooks and behaviours, the importance of having fun together, the value of open communication about sex, and the consequences of inappropriate expectations

26
Q

3 main ways to repair relationships

A
  • do it yourself
  • preventative maintenance
  • marital therapy
27
Q

5 main types of marital therapy

A
  • behavioural couple therapy
  • cognitive-behavioural couple therapy
  • integrative behavioural couple therapy
  • emotionally focused couple therapy
  • insight-oriented couple therapy
28
Q

Behavioural couple therapy (BCT)

A
  • Focuses on the couple’s present interactions and seeks to replace any negative or punishing behaviour with more gracious and generous actions
  • Couples are taught communication skills that help them express affection and manage conflict cooly
  • They are encouraged to do things that benefit and please their partners
  • Seeks to change behaviour
29
Q

Quid pro quo contract

A

behaviour change from the partner is directly linked to behaviour change by the other

30
Q

Good faith contracts

A

parallel agreements in which behaviour change is rewarded with special privileges

31
Q

Cognitive-behavioural couple therapy (CBCT)

A
  • Focuses on partners’ cognitions and judgments of their relationship as well as their conduct, seeking to change various aspects of the ways partners think about and appraise their partnership
  • Addresses couples’ selective attention, tries to instill more reasonable expectations, more forgiving attributions, and more adaptive relationship beliefs in each partner
  • Partners are taught to track and test their thoughts, actively considering attributions for negative behaviour, recognizing and challenging unrealistic beliefs, and generating lists of the pros and cons of the expectations they hold
  • Focuses mainly on a couple’s current pattern of thinking
  • Seeks to change behaviour and cognition
32
Q

Integrative behavioural couple therapy (IBCT)

A
  • Seeks to encourage desirable behaviour and teach the partners to tolerantly accept the incompatibilities that they cannot change
  • Teaches the communication skills and behaviour modification of BCT, but assumes that even when partners behave desirably, some frustrating incompatibilities will always remain
  • Seeks to change behaviour and emotions
33
Q

3 components of IBCT

A
  • empathic joining
  • unified detachment
  • tolerance building
34
Q

empathic joining

A

spouses are taught to express their pain and vulnerabilities without blame or resentment

35
Q

unified detachment

A

an intellectual perspective that defuses emotion and helps the couple understand with cool dispassion their problematic patterns of interaction

36
Q

tolerance bulding

A

spouses are taught to become less sensitive and react less intensely when problematic behaviour occurs

37
Q

Emotionally focused couple therapy (EFCT)

A

strives to improve relationships by increasing partners’ attachment security, focusing on the emotions the partners experience as they seek to fulfill their attachment needs

38
Q

3 stages of EFCT

A
  1. Identifying problematic patterns of communication and encouraging couples to think of themselves as collaborators
  2. Partners begin to establish constructive new patterns of interaction that acknowledge the other’s needs and provide reassurance
  3. Partners reinforce their responsiveness to each other and rely on their newfound security to seek new solutions to old problems
39
Q

efficacy of EFCT

A

Quite effective with couples who are moderately distressed

40
Q

Insight-oriented couple therapy (IOCT)

A
  • Emphasizes individual vulnerabilities and strives to help people comprehend how personal habits and assumptions they developed in other relationships may be creating difficulty with their present partners
  • Assumes that the origins of martial dissatisfaction often lie in difficulties the spouses encountered in prior relationships
  • Rooted in the psychodynamic traditions of Freud
41
Q

Three fundamental propositions of IOCT

A
  1. In the ways they choose a mate and behave toward their partners, people are frequently influenced by hidden tensions and unresolved needs of which they are unaware
  2. Many of these unconscious conflicts stem from events that took place either in one’s family of origin or in prior romantic relationships
  3. The major therapeutic goal is for clients to gain insight into their unconscious conflicts so that they have the freedom to choose to act differently
42
Q

Affective reconstruction

A
  • The process through which a spouse re-imagines and revisits past relationships to identify the themes and coping styles that characterized conflict with past partners
  • Helps spouses develop more benign judgments of others’ behaviour
43
Q

what type of therapy is affective reconstruction associated with?

A

IOCT

44
Q

core features of BCT

A
  • behaviour
  • couple
  • present
45
Q

core features of CBCT

A
  • cognitions
  • individual and couple
  • present
46
Q

core features of IBCT

A
  • emotions
  • individual and couple
  • present
47
Q

core features of EFCT

A
  • emotions
  • individual and couple
  • present
48
Q

core features of IOCT

A
  • emotions and cognitions
  • individual
  • past
49
Q

efficacy of marital therapy

A

Marital therapy helps most couples

50
Q

how to choose the best kind of marital therapy?

A

Couples should pick the therapy and the therapist that appeals to them the most

51
Q

common features of all types of marital therapy

A

each type provides a reasonable explanation of why a couple has been experiencing difficulty and provides a means of changing the patterns of interaction that have been causing distress

52
Q

expectations of therapy and therapy efficacy

A

Positive expectations make therapy more effective

53
Q

use of marital therapy

A

Marital therapy is underutilized

54
Q

when should troubled couples go to marital therapy

A

ASAP! The sooner marital problems are addressed, the easier they are to solve

PSYC 474 (39 decks)

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