Chapter 6: Intederpendency Flashcards
interdependency
exists when we need others and they need us to obtain valuable interpersonal rewards
assumption behind interdependency theories
we seek the most fulfilling relationships that are available to us
social exchange
the process by which people provide each other with benefits and rewards that the other wants
rewards
anything within an interaction that is desirable and welcome and that brings enjoyment or fulfillment to the recipient
costs
punishing, undesirable experiences
outcome
the net profit or loss a person encounters, all things considered
outcomes formula
Outcomes = rewards - costs
outcomes vs. expectations
Whether our outcomes are positive or negative isn’t as important as our expectations and perceptions.
comparison level
the value of outcomes that we’ve come to expect and believe we deserve in our dealings with others
what determines our comparison level?
our past experiences
interpreting CL
- If your outcomes fall above your CL, you’re happy
- If your outcomes fall below your CL, you’re unhappy
Comparison level for alternatives (CLalt)
he outcomes you’d receive by leaving your current relationship and moving to the best alternative partnership or situation you have available
CLalt determines
our dependence on our relationships (if we believe we’re doing as well as we possibly can, we depend on our partners and the greater the gap between our current outcomes and our poorer alternatives, the more dependent we are)
investments
the things one would lose if the relationship were to end
investments influence ____
how likely one is to stay in a relationship
what determines CLalt
what a person thinks it is
what is necessary for someone to influence your CLalt
you have to be aware of them
satisfaction vs. dependence
Satisfaction and dependence are correlated
dependence formula
Outcomes - CLalt = dependence or independence
4 types of relationships
- happy and stable
- unhappy but stable
- happy but unstable
- unhappy and unstable
happy and stable relationship
a person’s outcomes exceed their CL and CLalt, so they are content and unlikely to leave
unhappy but stable relationship
a person’s outcomes fall below their CLs, but are still higher than their CLalts, so they aren’t content but are unlikely to leave
happy but unstable relationship
a person’s CLalt is higher than their outcomes, but their CL is lower, so they’re satisfied but believe that they have more attractive outcomes somewhere else
unhappy and unstable relationship
a person’s outcomes are lower than both their CL and CLalt, so they are unsatisfied and likely to leave
CL and CLalt over time
- If your CL goes up and your outcomes remain, satisfaction wanes
- Once you get used to the perfect partner, you may derive less pleasure from their pampering over time
- Getting married increases happiness initially, but over time, people are only as happy, on average, as they had been before they got married
principle of lesser interest
the partner who depends less on a relationship has more power in that relationship
culture and CL and CLalt
- Cultural changes have increased our CLs and CLalts
- When CLs and CLalts are both high, people are more likely to find themselves in unhappy and unstable relationships
good vs. bad events in relationships
Undesirable events in close relationships are more noticeable and influential than logically equivalent desirable events
satisfaction ratio
To stay satisfied with a close relationship, we need to maintain a rewards-to-costs ratio of at least 5 to 1
satisfaction ratio study
classified couples as high- or low-risk for divorce based on behavioural codings of the couples discussing their last argument. They found that 4 years later, 56% of high-risk couples were divorced and only 24% of the low-risk couples were.
potential reasons for undesirable events being more noticeable in realtionships
- Romantic partners may not notice all of the loving and affectionate behaviours their lovers provide
- Partners may disagree about the meaning and value of the rewards they exchange
approach motivation
a motivation to gain desirable experiences
avoidance motivation
a motivation to avoid undesired experiences
approach vs. avoidance motivation
- Approach and avoidance motivations operate independently
- The status of any relationship can be defined by how well you are fulfilling both your approach and avoidance goals
Flourishing relationship
both approach and avoidance goals are fulfilled
Distressed relationship
neither approach nor avoidance goals are fulfilled
Precarious relationship
approach goals are fulfilled but avoidance goals are not
Boring relationship
avoidance goals are fulfilled but approach goals are not
Boredom
- Characterized by tedium, disinterest, and a lack of energy
- Occurs when nothing enticing, intriguing or new is occurring in an intimate relationship
strength of approach and avoidance motivations
The chronic strength of approach and avoidance motivations in our relationships differs from person to person
impact of high approach motivations
People who have high approach motivations are generally more content
self-expansion model
we are attracted to partnerships that expand the range of our interests, skills, and experiences
self-expansion model over time
Self-expansion usually slows once a partner becomes familiar
rewards and costs over time
After a period of initial excitement, most relationships hit a lull in which pleasure stalls
Model of relational turbulence
we should expect a period of adjustment and turmoil as new partners become accustomed to their increasing
turbulence outside of the model of relational turbulence
Turbulence can also occur down the road if a relationship undergoes a major transition
doubt and marriage study
When people have doubts about whether they should get married, they’re much more likely to get a divorce later on, especially women
marital satisfaction over time
Marital satisfaction generally decreases over time but ¼ of couples don’t experience this decline
Spouses who tend to stay happy _____
- Have secure attachment styles
- Are low in negative emotionality
- Are high in self-esteem
- Start their marriages being happier
- Discuss touchy issues without anger
- Encounter relatively few stressors
- Keep their expectations in check so that their CLs don’t get too high
Why do more realistic expectations lead to greater relationship satisfaction?
- Relationships are more satisfying when people work at it
- Interdependency magnifies conflict and friction
- Intimacy gives people ammunition to hurt our feelings, whether intentionally or unintentionally
- There are always surprises
two types of surprises in relationships
- Learning the truth about things we thought we knew (ex. Fatal attractions)
- Learning things you didn’t know at all
Marital satisfaction decreases because:
- Of a lack of effort
- Interepdency is a magnifying glass
- Of access to weaponry
- Of unwelcome surprises
- Of unrealistic expectations
the nature of interdependency
- If we want to keep valuable relationships going, it’s to our advantage to ensure that our partner is just as dependent on us as we are on them
- So, people engage in compassionate and thoughtful behaviours toward their partners to main each other’s well-being
exchange relationships
people do favours for others, expecting to be repaid by receiving comparable benefits in return
communal relationships
- Partners feel a special concern for the other’s well-being and they provide favours and support to one another without expecting repayment
- Tend to be stronger relationships
communal strength
the motivation to be responsive to a particular partner’s needs
what happens when communal strength increases?
people enjoy making small sacrifices for their partners, so they are more generous, providing more small kidnesses, so both they and their partners are happier as a result
principles of exchange in communal relationships
The principles of exchange still apply in communal relationships
what happens to communal relationships if their outcomes start falling?
they can revert to exchange relationships
exchange and communal relationships vs. interdependence theory
A distinction between exchange and communal relationships is compatible with interdependence theory
equity theory
extends the framework of social exchange to assert that people are most satisfied in relationships where there is proportional justice
proportional justice
each partner gains benefits from the relationship that are proportional to their contributions to it
A relationship is equitable when
your outcomes / your contributions = your partner’s outcomes / your partner’s contributions
overbenefited
when one partner receives better outcomes than they deserve
underbenefited
wwhen one partner receives worse outcomes than they deserve
consequence of inequitable relationships
Everyone is nervous
interdependence vs. equity theory
Some studies show that good outcomes are more important and others show that fairness is more important
Potential reasons for conflicting results in interdependence vs. equity theory studies
- Some people are more concerned with fairness in interpersonal relations than others are
- Equity may be more important in some domains than others
- Equity is a salient issue when people are dissatisfied, but it’s only a minor issue when people are content
when is equity especially important?
for child care and household tasks
interdependence vs equity theory conclusion
both the quality of global outcomes people receive and underbenefit play important roles in determining how satisfactory and enduring a relationship will be. Equity doesn’t improve a relationship if it’s highly rewarding. Outcome level matters more than inequity does
feminism and romance
- Women enjoy happier, healthier, and more stable romantic relationships when they are partnered with men who are feminists
- Female feminists are less hostile toward men than other women are
- Men who are partnered with feminist women enjoy more stable relationships and more sexual satisfaction
Satisficers
people who pursue partners that meet their expectations but who stop shopping when they find a desirable mate
Maximizers
people who want to optimize their outcomes and enjoy maximum satisfaction, so they keep evaluating their options
maximizers and greed
Maximizers are comparatively greedy, which leads them to be less satisfied with the friends they choose and the lovers they attract than satisficers are
commitment
a desire for a relationship to continue and the willingness to work to maintain it
3 themes of commitment
- Partners expect the relationship to continue
- They hold a long-term view, foreseeing a future that involves their partners
- They are psychologically attached to each other so that they are happier when their partners are happy too
The investment model of commitment
satisfaction and investments are both positively related to commitment. However, high-quality alternatives undermine commitment
research on the investment model
Research supports the investment model quite well
criticism of the investment model
One’s forecast of how satisfying the partnership will be in the future impacts commitment, which the investment model doesn’t consider
Commitment readiness
- Feeling ready and wanting to be in a committed relationship
- Makes commitment more likely
three types of commitment
personal, constraint, and moral
personal commitment
occurs when people want to continue a relationship because they are attracted to their partners and the relationship is satisfying
what is the strongest type of commitment?
personal
constraint commitment
occurs when people feel they have to continue a relationship because it would be too costly for them to leave
moral commitment
occurs when people feel like they ought to continue a relationship because it would be improper to end it and break their promises or vows
avoidance and interdependency
Those high in avoidance are more attentive to their alternatives, have higher CLalts, and tend to be less committed to their present partners. They have weaker approach motivations, perceive intimate connections to be less rewarding than secure people do, and are less motivated to pursue fulfillment from their partnerships with others
abandonment anxiety and commitment
Those high in abandonment anxiety have stronger avoidance motivations and tend to be less satisfied with their relationships
Accommodation
people refrain from responding to provocation from their partners with a similar ire of their own
the consequences of commitment
- Commitment leads people to be better able to tolerate episodes of high cost and low reward
- It leads people to think of themselves and their partners as a single entity
- It leads people to take action to protect and maintain a relationship even when it is costly for them to do so
- Commitment promotes accommodation
- Results in a greater willingness to sacrifice
- Results in the derogation of tempting alternatives
partner sacrifice study
One study found that partners failed to notice ½ of the generous small sacrifices their partners made for their benefit
