Chapter 9: Sexuality Flashcards
sexual attitudes over time
- 50 years ago, most people disapproved of premarital sex
- Now, most people believe that sex between unmarried people is fine as long as it occurs in the context of a committed, caring relationship
hookups
sexual interactions with nonromantic partners that usually last one night and do not involve any expectation of a lasting relationship
satisfaction with hookups
Both men and women usually have more positive than negative feelings after a hookup, but mixed feelings are common
sexual attitudes in men vs. women
Men hold more permissive sexual values than women, although the difference is shrinking over time
sexual double standard
women have been judged more harshly than men for being sexually experienced or permissive
sexual attitudes in the U.S.
The U.S. holds relatively conservative sexual attitudes compared to other countries
sexual attitudes by race
African Americans hold more permissive sexual attitudes than Whites, while Hispanic Americans and Asian Americans are more conservative
atttiudes about same-sex sexuality
Most Americans are in favour of same-sex marriage
Two reasons for changes in attitudes towards LGBTQ+ sexuality
- Greater visibility of LGBTQ+ people in public life
- We understand same-sex sexuality much better than we used to
People are more likely to support same-sex sexuality if _____
they believe that people are born gay or lesbian than if they believe it is the way they “choose” to live
origin of sexual orientation
Sexual orientation has a genetic basis
evolutionary benefit of homosexuality
The sisters of gay men tend to have more children and children who receive greater care and protection, so it may have been evolutionarily advantageous for same-sex orientations to run in one’s family
same-sex attitudes by demographic
African Americans, Republicans, religious people, and the elderly hold more anti-LGBTQ+ attitudes
sex for the first time
- 17 is the average age of first intercourse
- The majority of teens have sex for the first time with someone who is a partner in a steady, emotionally important relationship
- Most teens find their first experience to be enjoyable, but men enjoy it a lot more
- Both men and women expect their first experience to be better than it turns out to be
sex on the first date and relationship satisfaction
Couples who have sex on the first date experience less relationship satisfaction
sex with casual partners and relation satisfaction
A pattern of sex with a casual partner is associated with greater tension in one’s relationships 4 years down the line
impact of abstinence-focused sex education
Abstinence-focused sex education doesn’t work at reducing teen sex, but it reduces the use of contraception
four common motives for sex
- Emotional
- Physical
- Pragmatic
- Insecurity
gender differences in motivation for sex
- Men and women endorse emotional movies with equal frequency
- Men are more likely to have sex for physical, pragmatic, and insecure reasons
marriage & cohabitation and the frequency of sex
- Married and cohabitating couples have sex more often than those who are single
- A steep drop in the frequency with which a couple has sex usually begins in the second year they live together
- This decreases further when they’re pregnant or have small children
frequency of sex across generation
All couples are having less sex, on average, than our grandparents did when they were our age
frequency of sex over time
- Sexual desire decreases with age
- Couples have the most sex during the first year of their relationship
sex in gay vs. heterosexual couples
- Gay men have more sex with their partners than lesbians or heterosexuals do
- After 10 years together, all couples have sex less often, but the drop in frequency is greater for gays, such that they end up having sex less frequently than heterosexual couples do
- Lesbians have sex less often, but when they do, it is more satisfying
number of sexual partners of men vs. women
- Men report having more sexual partners than women
- This may be due to sampling biases (not including prostitutes in studies)
- Men and women define sex differently; men are more likely to say they’ve had sex
- Men exaggerate the number of partners they’ve had, while women minimize them
cybersex
involves sexual chat for the purpose of sexual gratification
Extradyadic sex
having sex with someone other than one’s partner without the permission of one’s partner
frequency of extradyadic sex
21% of women and 32% of men have been sexually unfaithful to their romantic partners at least once
extradyadic sex and gender
Men are more likely to cheat because they have more positive attitudes toward causal sex and they often pursue extradyadic sex for the sake of sexual variety
extradyadic sex in LGB couples
Gay men have more extradyadic sex than lesbian women and heterosexual men do
Sociosexual orientations
the trait-like collection of beliefs and behaviours that describe our feelings about sex
Restricted sociosexual orientation
people who are generally willing to have sex only in the context of a committed and affectionate relationship
Unrestricted sociosexual orientation
people who are always on the prowl for new partners
sociosexuality and extradyadic sex
Sociosexuality is associated with the likelihood that people have extradyadic sex
distinguishing unrestricted vs. restricted people
- Observers can generally distinguish people with unrestricted vs. restricted orientations when their faces are side by side
- Unrestricted women tend to have more masculine facial features. They are seen as more attractive, but men consider them to be less desirable as long-term mates
- Unrestricted men look more masculine too, but women prefer the faces of restricted men for long-term mates
influences of sexual selection on men
Sexual selection has favoured men who mate with as many women as possible
good genes hypothesis
suggests that some women, particularly those with less desirable mates, can profit from a dual mating strategy in which they pursue long-term partners who will contribute resources to protect their offspring while seeking good genes for their children from other men
evidence for the good genes hypothesis
- Women are more attracted to extradyadic mates when they’re fertile than when they’re not and this tendency is more pronounced when their primary partners are relatively more unattractive
- 2% of the world’s children are being raised by men who don’t know that someone else is the child’s biological father
sperm competition
occurs when the sperm of two or more men occupy a woman’s vagina at the same time
adapting to sperm competition
Men have adapted to sperm competition: men who know that their partners are spending a lot of time with other men tend to have intercourse in a manner that is likely to displace any sperm that might be present
when are people more likely to cheat?
More people cheat when they become dissatisfied with their present partners and the quality of their alternatives is high
switching mates after an affair in women vs. men
Women are more likely to switch mates as a result of an affair
psychology of cheaters
- Cheaters tend to be manipulative people who are high in Machiavellianism and psychopathy, low in agreeableness and conscientiousness and high in anxiety about abandonment
- Cheaters are more likely than non-cheaters to cheat again
Consensual non-monogamy (CNM)
an arrangement in which partners agree that it is acceptable to have more than one sexual or romantic relationship at the same time
open relationship
partners feel free to have sex with others, but agree to avoid any romantic or emotional attachment to those other people
swingers
pursue extradyadic sex as a couple
polyamory
partners have full-fledged love affairs that may be both sexual and romantic with more than one person
prevalence of CNM
⅕ of Americans have been in some form of CNM relationship in the past
CNM by demographics
Women, heterosexuals, and those with restricted sociosexual orientations are less likely to have participated in a CNM relationship
two types of lovers in polyamory
primary & secondary
primary lover
the person they’ve been with longer, they often live together, share finances, are married, have children, and enjoy greater compassion, security, and nurturance
secondary lover
afforded less time and effort, but enjoy greater eroticism and passion
attitudes towards CNM
Most people disapprove of CNM relationships
satisfaction in CNM relationships
- CNM relationships are on average, just as satisfying as monogamous ones
- CNM participants enjoy higher sexual satisfaction
sexual desire of men vs. women
- Men have higher sex drives on average than women do
- They masturbate more often, want sex more often, want to begin having sex sooner, think about sex more often, spend more money on sex, and are more accepting of casual sex
impacts of discrepancies in sexual desires
Sexual satisfaction suffers when there’s a discrepancy in sexual desire between members of a couple
when do women experience drops in sexual desire?
after having a child or when going through menopause
prevalence of safe sex
Many people do not use condoms when they have sex with a new or temporary partner
The illusion of unique invulnerability
we believe bad things are more likely to happen to others than use
Alcohol myopia
the reduction of people’s abilities to think about and process information available to them when they’re intoxicated
pluralistic ignorance
people wrongly believe that their feelings and beliefs are different from those of others
Why do people have unsafe sex?
- They underestimate the risk
- The illusion of unique invulnerability
- Faulty decision-making (often caused by sexual arousal)
- Intoxication
- Pluralistic ignorances
- Inequalities in power
- Abstinence education
- Low self-control
- Decreased intimacy and pleasure
stealthing
surreptitiously removing a condom just before or during intercourse without one’s partner’s knowledge or consent
sexual satifaction in couples
When people are in good health, free of sexual problems, and have a steady partner, most people have happy sex
sexual satisfaction in midlife and beyond
A minority of Americans 45 and older and having satisfying sex
How can we attain more sexual satisfaction?
- Focus on the quality of one’s partners rather than the quantity
- In general, the more sex a couple has, the more satisfied with their sex lives both of them tend to be
- If they’re having sex at least once a week, having sex more often doesn’t make them any happier with their relationship
- Focus on our needs for autonomy, relatedness, and competence
self-determination theory
we are happiest and healthiest when we fulfill our needs for autonomy, relatedness, and competence
autonomy
routinely engaging in activities that allow us to choose and control our own actions
relatedness
routinely engaging in activities that allow us to establish close connections with others
competence
routinely engaging in activities that allow us to feel confident and capable
penis size and sexual satisfaction
Most women are satisfied with their partner’s penis size
impact of traditional gender roles on sexual satisfaction
Traditional gender roles can rob women of their autonomy in bed, which reduces sexual satisfaction for both men and women
motivation and sexual satisfaction
- Sex is more satisfying when people and their partners engage in it for approach reasons
- People who believe that sexual success is malleable have more satisfying sex
- Sexual satisfaction increases when couples intentionally make time and space for sex, seek to pleasure their partners, and introduce fun and novel activities
importance of sexual communication
Clear communication about sex is associated with better sexual functioning
communication in homosexual couples
Homosexual couples have better communication during sex, and hence, better sex
misconstructing sexual desire
- Men perceive signs of sexual flirtatiousness that aren’t intended
- Men who reject traditional gender roles and value equality make fewer of these mistakes
- Men who have unrestricted sociosexual orientations make more of these mistakes
estimating women’s sexual desire study
- When couples start living together, men begin to underestimate women’s sexual desire
- This is assocaited with greater marital satisfaction for the wives
sexual satisfaction and relationship satisfaction
- Sexual satisfaction and relationship satisfaction go hand-in-hand
- They are subject to similar influences like similarity and perceived partner responsiveness
- Fulfilling sex makes a partnership more gratifying and love makes sex more rewarding in return
attachment and sexuality
- Avoidants have less frequent sex with their romantic parnters
- Those who are high in attachment anxiety have more passionate, needier sex that springs from their desire to feel accepted by their partners
- Those high in attachment anxiety are more likely to have casual sex and extramarital affairs
- Secure partners are most satisfied with their sex lives, likely because they are more honest and open in discussing their needs with their partners
four types of sexual violation
- verbal coercion resulting in fondling
- verbal coercison resulting in intercourse
- physical force resulting in fondling
- physical force resulting in intercourse
prevalence of sexual coercison by gender
- Most men and women never direct any of these forms of sexual coercion towards anyone
- Men are more likely to use physical force than women do
- Women are just as likely as men to verbally coerce reluctant partners to have unwanted intercourse
Ways to reduce the frequency of sexual coercion:
- Beware of potential partners who view sex as a contest
- Beware of intoxication in either you or your partner
- Resolve to assertively resist unwanted advances
- Set sexual boundaries with frank, direct discussion
- Think of your lover as an equal partner whose preferences are just as important as your own
