Funeral Service Psychology and Counseling 4 Flashcards
A non-judgemental short term helping process where one individual (the counselor) helps another individual or group (counselee or clients) understand and deal with issues or problems in their daily life.
Counseling
A specialty in general counseling with the goal of helping the individual grieve and address personal loss in a healthy manner.
Grief Couseling
Specialized techniques that are used to help people with complicated grief.
Grief Therapy
Help survivors complete any unfinished business with the deceased and to be able to say a final good-bye.
- Actualize the loss
- Help the counselee deal with both the expressed and latent effects of loss.
- To help the counselee overcome various inpediments to readjustment after a loss.
- To encourage the counselee to make a healthy emotional withdrawal from the deceased and to feel comfortable reinvesting that emotion in another relationship.
Goals of Grief Counseling (Worden)
- Gain a clearer insight into themselves and their situation
- Identify, talk about, explore, and understand their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors
- Obtain a better understanding of their feelings and behaviors
- Realize and utilize their own strengths, coping skills, and resources- what has worked for that person in the past.
- Work out what action they want to take
- Function more successfully in their day-to-day activities
- Prevent the development of more serious mental health problems.
Objectives of Counseling
- Pre-need
- At-need
- Post-funeral
When and How Funeral Directors can Facilitate Healthy Greiving:
- Sponsoring educational programs on loss and grief.
- Using counseling skills during pre-need funeral arrangements to enhance the funeral arrangement experience
Pre-Need
- Utilize effective counseling techniques during the at-need arrangement conference to help families plan services that will maximize the potential for ahealing greiving experience.
- Execute the planned services in a professional, empathetic manner so that family’s needs are met.
At-Need
- Aftercare that meets the family’s post-funeral needs
- Telephone support
- Personal Visit
- Referral to individual grief counseling or support groups
- Providing appropriate grief literature
Post-Funeral
- Become aware that they are facing a difficult situation
- Perceive their feelings or situations as problematic
- Believe counseling can assist them
- Feel the pain is greater than the perceived or actual barriers to seeking counseling
Why do people seek Counseling?
- Embarrassment or shame at being able to handle things themselves
- Fear of judgement by the counselor
- Fear of being labeled mentally ill
- Social stigma in some cultures or communities
Why dont some people seek counseling even when it’s needed?
- Most clients improve at a greater rate than those who do not receive counseling
- A type of counseling that is most effective has not been proven
- No one type of treatment works best with every client in every counseling situation
Is counseling Helpful?
- Informational counseling
- Situational counseling
- Supportive counseling
Types of Counseling
The goal is to share with someone a body of specialized information.
Informational Counseling
Related to specific situations in life that may create crisis and produce pain, suffering, and significant feelings that are produced by the crisis.
Situational Counseling
When listening to a greiver’s story, clairfying issues by questioning and probing, and validating their concerns, and responses, can bring peace and understanding to him/her.
- Empathtic, concerned, active listener
Supportive Counseling
- Directive Counseling
- Non-Directive Counseling
Counselor may use both in one session. What may be needed for one person may be useless or harmful to another person.
Styles of Counseling
When the counselor assumes the initiative and carries a major role in the identification and resolution of problems.
- Counselor is basically telling the client what to do.
Directive Counseling
Developed primarily by Carl Rogers. The counselor guides the counselee to identify and solve his/her own problems.
- Counselor uses attending skills- paraphrasing, reflecting, clarifying
- Client gains help without surrendering personal responsibility for the situation.
Non-Directive Counseling (Client-centered, Person-centered)
- Establishes rapport with the client
- Assists the person to gain perspective
- Appraises the client’s problems
- Perceives the client’s situation
- Encourages realistic appraisal by the client
- Encourages conservational flow by avoiding questions that can be answered with yes or no
- Reflects the clients feelings back to them
- Judges the ability of the client to verbalize
- Does not assume the client’s first statement to be true or complete
- Allows the client to summarize the interview
The Non-Directive Approach Seems to be more Effective in Greif Counseling Because:
Spoken, oral communication.
- Tone of voice
- talking speed
- Voice inflections
Verbal Communication
That which is expressed by posture, facial expression, actions or physical behavior, communication by any other means than verbally.
- Smiling
- Frowning
- Gestures
- Facial expression
- Eye movement
- Body position/movement
Non-Verbal Communication
The client’s analysis is usually on a subconscious level while the counselor is trained to be aware of thse subtle and non-so-subtle components of communication.
Difference betwen Client and Counselor Communications
Giving undivided attention by means of verbal and non-verbal behavior.
- Active listening
- Paraphrasing
- Reflecting
- Clairifying
- Perception checking
- Leading
- Informing
- Questioning
- Summarizing
- Allowance of silence
Attending Skills
One of the most important counseling techniques.Attentively listening to the wors a client says, observing the non-verbal cues he expresses such as eye contact, posture, facial expression, gestures, and being sensitive to the tone, inflexion, spead and intensity of what is being said.
- Verbal and non-verbal expression should be consistent with each other
Active Listening
Focusing on, and repeating back tothe client, the key words used, usually the most important part of what was said.
- Lets the client know they were heard and understood.
The counselor expresses in fewer or fresh words the essential feelings stated or stronly implied by the counselee in her words or non-verbal communication.
- “You seem to feel….”
Reflecting
The process of getting a better understanding of something the client has said.
Clairifying
Similar to clairifying in that the counselor needs further explainination from the client to ensure he completely understands what was said. Instead of a broad clairfying statement, the funeral director would ask for some specific clairification.
Perception Checking
The skill of encouraging the client to further explore what you feel is a major issue, more of less anticipating where the client is going.
Leading
Sharing knowledge you have with the client.
- Funeral directors feel most comfortable with this
Informing
Using skillful probing questions will not only clairify your understanding but will also aid the client in exploring her thoughts and feelings.
- Opens new areas for discussion
- Use open ended questions
- Avoid “why?” or questions to make client defensive
- Begin open ended questions with how, what or can
Questioning
Bringing together the different aspects of your counseling session into a succinct review of what has occurred.
Summarizing
- Vocal style
- Verbal following
Verbal Communication
- Use your natural voice
- Use non-threatening tone
- Do not talk too fast or too slow
Vocal Style
- Stay on the topic the client brings up, don’t change it
- Don’t interrupt
- Give client all the time she needs to answer, don’t rush
- Do not preach or lecture
- Do not talk too much about yourself
Verbal Following
- Positive Non-Verbal skills
- Eye contact
- Body Posture
- Head nods
- Facial expressions
- Arm and leg position
Non-Verbal Communication
Maintain eye contact without staring.
- Demonstrates sincere interest
- Be culturally sensitive (considered rude to some cultures)
- Vary
Eye Contact
Avoid slouching, but be relaxed. Present an open posture facing the client and leaning forward to exhibit sincerity and interest. Sit on the same said as the invdividual, but never stand over them.
Body Posture
Do this occasionally to demonstrate agreement, and encourage the client to continue to communicate.
Head Nods
Should appear natural, relaxed, and caring.
Facial Expressions
- Arms- at your side or in a position to have your hands in your lap
- Do not cross arms or legs in front of you- gives the impression of non interest or boredom.
Arm and Leg Position
- Rigid body posture
- Taking notes
- Clock watching
- Letting your gaze wander
Negative Non-Verbal Skills
- Initial learning
- 1 Awareness of ignorance
- 2 The individual takes action and obtaines the needed education
- Uncomfortable use
- 3 starts the good, better, best analogy
- Consciously skilled
- 4 Is the better stage
- Naturally skilled
- 5 This is when the individual reaches her best level of practice
Developing Interpersonal Skills (Wolfelt’s 5 Stages of Learning)
- Step 1: Awareness of ignorance- individual becomes aware that she does not have knowledgeof an area and realizes the need to get more educated.
- Step 2: The individual takes action and obtains needed education- This is usually at the basic level. Some learners will then take advance learning opportunities to increase their knowledge base.
Initial Learning
Step 3: Starts the good, better, best analogy.
- The educated individual takes a leap of faith by trying out these newly acquired skills.
- There is an initial stage of awkwardness and discomfort but the individual is at the good stage.
Unfortable Use
Step 4: The better stage. The individual feels more comfortable but is still practicing at a conscious level.
Consciously Skilled
Step 5: This is when the individual reaches her best level of practice. - She is being effective with her clients and practicing the attending skills without even realizing it. It is natural and automatic.
Naturally Skilled
- Sincerity
- Integrity
- Empathy
- respect
- Warmth
- Caring
- Genuineness
Characteristics of a Good Counselor or a Helping Funeral Director
Having a real interest in the people and their problems.
Sincerity
Being of sound moral principals, upright and honest.
Integrity
The ability to perceive accurately the feelings of your clients.
Empathy
Refers to a councelor’s approachability and willingness to be open, considerate, and friendly with clients.
Warmth
The ability to present oneself sincerely; a counselor’s spontaneity, consistency, and authentinicity.
Genuineness
Holding a person in high regard.
Respect
- Desire to counsel
- Actively listen to the individual
- Listen with understanding
- Discern the true situation, the real problem.
- Give the indivdual additional information when necessary
- Encourage the individual to solve the problem
- Help the individual develop a plan of action
- Follow-up
Do’s In a Counseling Relationship
- Tell the client what happened to him, let him tell you.
- Ask why, value-judgement questions.
- Use should or ought
- Blame, cirticize, or embarrass clients
- Automatically compare the client’s experience with your own.
- Become overly analytical
- Trivialize or invalidate the client’s feelings or concerns
- Offer the client explanations for thinking, feelings, or behaviors
- Reduce counseling to giving advice
- become impatient and/or appear rushed
- Become over-involved tothe point that you feel overwhelmed
- Continue in a counseling relationship if you feel threatened by it or inappropriately attached to the client.
- Breach the client’s confidence
- Misrepresent your capabilities to the client
- Juge and condemn others
- Impose your solution becuase of lime limitations, disinterest, or other reasons
- Treat problems alike
- Treat people alike
- Treat counseling sessions alike
- Do too much talking
Don’ts in the Counseling Relationship
- Asks too many questions
- Dominates the interaction
- Inappropriate self-disclosure
- Offering platitudes or false reassurance
- Discouraging the expression of emotions
- Emotional distancing
Barriers to Effective Communication (Wolfelt)
- Violation of confidentiality
- Claiming expertise which one does not possess
- Exceeding one’s level of professional competence
- Imposing one’s values on a client
- Creating dependency in a client
- Sexual activity with a client
Unethical Behaviors for Counselors
Ethical and legal issue. Circumstances that dictate when counselors must divulge information:
- When clients pose a dange to themselves or others
- When the counselor believes that a client under tha age of 16 years is a victim of incest, rape, other abuse or some other crime
- When ordered by the court to do so
- Wehn clients request that their records be released to themselves or to a third party
Confidentiality
- Remember that you cannot take away pain of the bereaved.
- Do not let your own sense of helplessness keep you from reaching out to the griever.
- Expect to have to tolerate volatile reactions from the bereaved
- Recognize the cirtical therapeautic value of the gift of presence
- Make sure you view the loss form the griever’s unique perspective
- Let your genuine concern and caring show
- Do not let your own needs determine the experience for the griever.
- Understand that grief is not an easy upward climb
- Have no expectations that bereaved individuals will behave the way you want them to behave
- Listen to the story oftheir loved one over and over
- Understand that some grievers need to visit the cemetery
- Refer to the deceased by name
- Grief can be a long lonely journey, be patient
- Greif can take a tremendous amount of energy.
- Offer permission to grieve
- Avoid using the term depressed
- Do not explain the loss in religious or philosophical terms
- Do not tell the griever to feel better because tere are other loved ones who are still alive
- Do not try to unrealistically pretty up the situation
- Do not forget to plant the seeds of hope
- Do not encourage responses that do not foster appropriate grief
- Do not tell them not to cry
- Hold out the expectation that the griever will successfully complete the mourning process and that the pain will subside.
Intervention Strategies for Grief Counselors (Buffalo General Hospital)
- Lack of self-care
- Unusual and alarming behavior patterns
- Suicidial threats or attempts
- Multiple losses that can be overwhelming
- Severe withdrawal and/or depression
- Substance abuse
- Raidcal lifestyle changes
When to be Concerned
