Counseling: The role of a wife Flashcards
Are Men better than women, or women better than men?
Women and Men were created equal yet different
Equal in person and essence (Genesis 1:26-2:25)
Equal in salvation (Gal 3:28-29)
Difference in function and role:
Adam:
1. Created first (Gen 2:7)
2. orientated towards the task of work - Given the task to tend the garden (Gen 2:15)
3. Recipient of God’s commands and warnings - expected to lead his wife in righteousness (Gen 2:16-18)
4. Called to name the animals: First function of his leadership, to help adam to see that there is none suitable for him (Gen 2:19)
5 Bearer of final responsibility in the home: God told adam that the curse was a result of his sin, not eves (Gen 3:17-19, Rom 5)
Eve
- Eve was designed by God to be the primary helper of influencers in the relationship
- Eve was created from Adam and for him (Gen 2:18, 21:22)
- Designed to be a helper corresponding to him (Gen 2:18)
- Made to be one with Adam (Gen 2:24)
- Capable of significant influence (Gen 3:6)
What was the curse God pronounced on Adam and Eve’s relationship?
Gen 3:16
And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you
The woman will desire the leadership role and abuse her gift of influence to indirectly try and control her husband, and dispute his headship
The husband will abuse his leadership role to dominate his wife, through a tyrannical rule, that is cruel and demeaning, and devaluing.
These words mark the beginning of the battle of the sexes. As a
result of the fall, man no longer rules easily; he must fight for
his headship. Sin has corrupted both the willing submission of
the wife and the loving headship of the husband. The wife will forever rebel against her husband’s leadership and try to usurp it, and so the harmony of God’s design for marriage is destroyed.
The bibles picture of the role of a wife
A woman who strives in her home to be the helper, the honorer, home minister.
The wife thinks of her role, the way the church thinks of its role in relationship to Jesus, as a way to honor God.
The wife’s role as a helper
Gen 2:18
The word helper means assistant
Some misinterpret this as “I am the waterboy and my husband is the star player on the team”
The word helper is not used to denigrate women in any way.
The same word “helper” is used to describe God. (Ps 10:14, 30:10, 33:20, 54:6, 70:5, 115:9-11, 118:7)
It is a role of privilege and honor
Different ways in which a woman fulfills her role as a helper
- Relationally: listening encouraging, affection, friendship
- Intellectually - making decisions, offering wisdom, and perspective
- Family - caring for and nurturing children
- vocationally - assisting husband or helping provide income
- Ministerially - co-labor in gospel ministry, hospitality, serving in church
- Physically - chores, meals, projects
- Delagationally - other areas that arise out of need or because of gifts
The wife’s role as a home-minister (Titus 2:5)
The main sphere where she helps is in her home (Titus 2:5), she is a home-maker or home-minister
This means that the wife thinks of her marriage, her family, and her children, as her primary duty before God.
This does not mean that she cannot work outside of the home, but rather that the home responsibility comes first. (Prv 31:16, 19:20,24)
She is also called to use her gifts to minister in the local church (1 cor 12, Rom 12 Eph 4:11-16)
The wife’s role as a honorer (Eph 5:22-33, 1 Cor. 11:3)
The word “be subject” means to “rank under”
A wife’s submission to her husband is
- modeled by the church to Christ (v24)
- Done “as to the Lord” (v 22)
- Pursued in every area (v 24)
- Paired with a respectful or honoring attitude (v33)
What does submission not mean
It does not mean she is a slave, in the home or a lesser person,
It does not mean she worships her husband or always agrees with him
It does not mean she never tires to influence her husband
It does not mean she gives up independence though or cannot have her own opinions
It does not mean she gives in to every demand from the husband
It does not mean she does not use her fights and talents
It does not mean she lives in fear
It does not mean believing her husband is infallible
What is biblical submission
The divine calling to affirm and honor her husband’s leadership, and to help carry it through
- It is a voluntary commitment on the part of the wife to joyfully live out the role God has called her to by following her husband’s leadership
- It means she shows appropriate respect and honor to her husband
- It means she does not compete for the leadership role God has granted to her husband.
Is submission something that the husband can demand or dictate?
No
Submission is not dictated or demanded by the husband but is freely given by a wife to her husband out of her loe fro God and her desire to honor the role that God has given her husband in her life (Eph 5:22)
Does submission mean that a wife should do nothing if her husband is abusing her?
No
Submission does not mean a wife should do nothing if her husband is abusing her (Prov 22:3, 27:12, Rom 13:1-4, Heb 13:17, 1 Pet 5:1-3, Matt, 18:15-17)
Rom 13 states that a woman should obey the governing authorities, which states that abuse is a crime
The church is also called to intervene in cases where abuse is occurring.
She should use the protective means God has provided, in both the State and the Church, and seek protection from that relationship.
A wife’s role as an influencer (1 Peter 3:1-6)
To set a Godly example in the home (1 Peter 3:1-6)
What should a wife do if she is married to an unbeliever?
To win them over by example, without a word. (1 Pet 3:1-6)
