Counseling: Key Element 3 & 4 Build involvement, Give Hope

Question 1

Strategies for building involvement

Answer 1

Demonstrate compassion

Show respect

Be real

Providing loving, firm control of the session

Gathering data thoroughly

Place an open bible on the desk and use it during the session

Start the session on time

Manifesting a strong confidence in God and His Word

Question 2

Demonstrate compassion

Answer 2

1) Consider what it would be like to be in the counselee’s position.
2) What would it be like for you if the counselee were a family member?
3) How can you practically show them compassion? Pray for them, rejoice
and weep with them, tell them you care for them, etc.

Question 3

Show respect

Answer 3

1) Use proper verbal communication (2 Tim 2:24-25).
2) Use proper nonverbal communication (position, eye contact, voice, etc.).
3) Take the counselee seriously.
4) Express appropriate confidence in him.
5) Welcome his input.
6) Maintain biblical confidentiality.

Question 4

What does 2 Timothy 2:24-25 say about the way in which we need to engage with counselees

Answer 4

24 And the Lord’s slave must not engage in heated disputes but be kind toward all, an apt teacher, patient, 25 correcting opponents with gentleness. Perhaps God will grant them repentance and then knowledge of the truth, 26, and they will come to their senses and escape the devil’s trap where they are held captive to do his will.

Question 5

Be sincere

Answer 5

Be real

Be honest

Question 6

Why use the bible during Counseling?

Answer 6

Hebrews 4:12

For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.

Question 7

What is the benefit of biblical hope?

Answer 7

1. It does not disappoint

Rom. 5:5

5 And hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

2. It changes our grieving

1 Thes.3:13

13 Now we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, about those who are asleep, so that you will not grieve like the rest who have no hope.

3. It helps through difficult circumstances

2 Cor. 4:16-18

6 Therefore we do not despair, but even if our physical body is wearing away, our inner person is being renewed day by day. 17 For our momentary, light suffering is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison 18 because we are not looking at what can be seen but at what cannot be seen. For what can be seen is temporary, but what cannot be seen is eternal.

Question 8

Can we give hope through scripture?

Answer 8

Romans 15

4 For everything that was written in former times was written for our instruction, so that through endurance and through encouragement of the scriptures we may have hope

Question 9

What are the effects of a lack of hope

Answer 9

1. Despair

Psalm 42:5

5 Why are you depressed, O my soul? Why are you upset?
Wait for God! For I will again give thanks to my God for his saving intervention

2. A sick heart

12 Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is like a tree of life.

Question 10

8 ways to give hope

Answer 10

1. Point people to the promises of God
2. Give an appropriate testimony (not to glorify the sin, but to help them understand God’s grace)
3. Label sin as sin (Psych labels rob people of hope)
4. Be solution-oriented
   5 Minister the word, don’t dispense it
5. Tell how long you might counsel
6. Pray at the beginning and end of each session
   8 State your willingness to walk this hard path with them

Question 11

Difference between ministering and dispensing the word

Answer 11

ministering a passage:

1) Read the passage
2) explain the passage
3) Ask if they understand
4) Ask them to explain what they understand
5) Ask them how they think it applies to their situation

Question 12

Difference between biblical hope and making promises

Answer 12

Our hope is in Christ and the promises of God, and not foolish optimism that
we will get what we want or have all our difficulties disappear through
counseling

Question 13

What can we promise and not promise

Answer 13

You can’t promise that an unfaithful spouse will return; you can’t promise
that child will be obedient and respectful; you can’t promise that your
counselee’s illnesses will disappear.

You can promise that God is always Who He says He is and that His promises are always true. With His help, your counselee can persevere and become more Christ-like and more pleasing to Him.

Question 14

Scripture for giving hope

Answer 14

1 Cor. 10:13; 
Rom 8:28-29; 
James1:2-4; 
Rom 5:1-5; 
the story of Joseph

Question 15

What is the importance of first building involvement?

Answer 15

Involvement promotes biblical change by establishing a change facilitating relationship.

Without it, the counselee might not be receptive to your counsel, and instead be defensive, especially if the counselee is feeling hurt, or is suffering.

When counselees are filled with self-pity and pain, they are not ready to be admonished or rebuked.

Without involvement, the Counselor will come across as clueless and uncaring.

Without involvement, drawing a person into a deeper relationship with God through a relationship with the Counselor, change is unlikely, and any change that does occur is like to be pharisaical or legalistic, nothing more than behavior modification.

Question 16

What does it mean for Counseling to be person-centered, as opposed to problem centered?

Answer 16

Biblical counseling is more about the person than the problem. We do not solve people’s problems as much as we call them to follow christ in any given situation.

Question 17

what scriptures support the need for first developing involvement before counseling

Answer 17

There is a need to first strengthen and prepare a person before counseling them, people who are not in a state of readiness, will not be able to bear the correction and rebuke.

John 16:12

“I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now.”
(This same compassion toward deeply hurt people can also be seen in John 4 and John 8.)

Involvement makes people willing to receive the word of God, which is the means of change.

1 Thes 2:13

“13 And we also thank God continually because, when you received the word of God, which you heard from us, you accepted it not as a human word, but as it actually is, the word of God, which is indeed at work in you who believe.”

The result of receiving the word of God is that it changes the person

1 Thes 1:9-10
9 for they themselves report what kind of reception you gave us. They tell how you turned to God from idols to serve the living and true God, 10 and to wait for his Son from heaven, whom he raised from the dead—Jesus, who rescues us from the coming wrath.

People are more willing to accept difficult counseling from someone who they know and feel has their best interest at heart

Proverbs 27:6

Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.

Proverbs 27:9

The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense.

Question 18

3 Stages of Counselee mindset change

Answer 18

Stage 1
All a counselee can see is their painful circumstance or situation, God’s involvement is far outside his thinking.

Stage 2
The hurting person is beginning to see his circumstances to embrace the promises, truths, and lovingkindness of God. He begins to see his life through the lens of scripture. He experiences greater closeness to the Father as HE draws such a person to HImself through the suffering

Stage 3
There is a change in the counselee’s perspective of his problems, of God’s involvement, in the Holy Spirit’s empowerment, and in his appreciation of the Bible and the principles contained in it. The Counselor takes a backseat to this greater awareness as the counselee embraces the truths and promises of Scripture and is able to apply it to life.

Question 19

3 Key factors to building involvement

Answer 19

Compassion
Respect
Sincerity

Question 20

Biblical mandate for Compassion

Answer 20

“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience” (Col.3:12). (Also see Eph.4:32, Phil.2:1–2, and 1 Peter3:8.)

Question 21

Jesus’ example of compassion

Answer 21

Matthew9:36—“When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them …”

Matthew14:14—“When he went ashore he saw a great crowd, and he had compassion on them and healed their sick.”

Matthew15:32—“Then Jesus called his disciples to him and said, ‘I have compassion on the crowd …”

Luke7:13—“And when the Lord saw her, he had compassion on her and said to her, ‘Do not weep.’”

Hebrews4:15—“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.”

Question 22

Paul’s examples of compassion

Answer 22

Acts20:31—“Therefore be alert, remembering that for three years I did not cease night or day to admonish every one with tears.”

Acts20:19—“…serving the Lord with all humility and with tears …”

Philippians1:7— “It is right for me to feel this way about you all, because I hold you in my heart, for you are all partakers with me of grace …”  

Galatians4:19— “…my little children, for whom I am again in the anguish of childbirth until Christ is formed in you!”

Romans9:1–3— “I am speaking the truth in Christ—I am not lying; my conscience bears me witness in the Holy Spirit—that I have great sorrow and unceasing anguish in my heart. For I could wish that I myself were accursed and cut off from Christ for the sake of my brothers ….”