Counseling: Instruction in the Lord

Question 1

Which book in the bible is a book about parenting

Answer 1

The book of proverbs. It is a conversation between a father and his son.

Question 2

Fatherhood and Wisdom

Answer 2

1. Wisdom begins in the home 1:8
2. Father is God’s primary delivery vehicle of instruction and wisdom (Eph 6:4), therefore fathers need to spend time and engage their children.
   - Fathers need to take the initiative to teach and train children,
   - especially to train them to listen
   - Train children to take seriously his instruction.
   - Train children to listen to their mother

Question 3

Contents of Proverbs 1:8-9

Answer 3

1. Training
2. Instruction - directions, rules, guidelines
3. Discipline is education that is Theocentric

Question 4

Value of proverbs 1:8-9

Answer 4

Instructio and teaching from parents are a graceful wreath to your head and ornaments about your neck

Children must be trained to see the great value of wisdom

Question 5

What is the significance of proverbs 1:10 - 19

Answer 5

King Solomon is in touch with the temptations and pressures his son would face in his day. And so Parents need to be in touch with the pressures and temptations their children are facing and need to help their children deal with it in a God honoring way

Solomon doesn’t just say “Don’t do that because I said so”, He helps his son understand the situation from a biblical perspective, He is appealing to the morality he is assuming his son has, to their conscience

Question 6

A godly father’s counsel

Answer 6

Uses appropriate examples, illustrations, or stories that help expose foolishness and help children understand biblical truth and remember it (1:17)

Solomons illustration: 1:17 “even a dumb bird knows better”
7:22 “like an ox to the slaughter”

Question 7

Goal of parenting

Answer 7

The goal for parents is faithfulness in training their children in dependence on the Lord, that he would draw them to himself (Ps 78:1-8, Prov 1:8, 10, 15, 2:1, 3:1, 11, 21, 4:10, 20, 5:1, 20, 6:1, 3, 20, 7:1, 19:27, 23:15, 19, 26, 24:13, 21:11, 31:2)

Training, Correction Admonishment/warning (Prov 19:18)

So that children will learn and walk in the fear of the Lord, loving Him and trusting Him with a whole heart and following His Word in Obedience (1:7-9, 3:1-2, 4:1-6, 6:20-24, 23:22-25, Ps34:11)

Question 8

Why training

Answer 8

Children are naturally foolish, but training changes them for the better (22:15). If a parent takes their hands off parenting of the steering wheel, their children will naturally veer towards foolihsness and godliness

Training is what God the Father does for His children (3:11-12, Heb 12:5-11)

A gather who loves his children will train them (13:24)

Question 9

3 Types of discipleship

Answer 9

• exemplary discipleship (Deut 6:6), when parents are hypocrites it makes it easy for children to dismiss their instruction, therefore parents need to practice what they preach. Not just teach children but model the behavior that they want to see in their children

Formative discipleship:

• Informal: The parents constant day by day instruction in the everyday moments of life (play by play, “teachable moments”) (Deut 6:7)
• Formal: regular intentional teaching, topical studies, themes, life issues, etc

Corrective discipleship

• Discipline is corrective and restorative, not just punitive. It is designed to train (Heb 12:11)
• The goal of discipline is to bring a child back into the circle of blessing (Eph 6:1-3)
• Discipline should target the heart, not just deal with behavior (4:23)
• The manner and means must be biblical (Eph 6:4, 1 Cor 10:31)
• the attitude and heart of the parent must be right before God (Prov 4:23)

Means of Discipline

• Warning (prov 1:10, 15, chs. 7, 7, 23:15)
• Verbal (Prov): how to think not just how to behave
• Logical consequences of their own actions (Luke 15:11-24, 2 Thes 3:10) Don’t bail children out or intervene to absorb consequences
• Fruit of sin (Prov 5:22, Jer 2:19) example: loss of trust
• Additional work (Gen 3:17-19) example: extra chores
• Loss of privileges and rewards (Deut 28)
• Corporal punishment (younger children)(Prov 13:24, 22:15, 23:13-14, 29:15)
• The rod of men (2 Sam 7:14; 2 Chron 33:1-12, Rom 13) Consequences imposed by an outside agency: Government, boss, etc

Question 10

Discipleship

Answer 10

Discipline is corrective and restorative, not just punitive. It is designed to train (Heb 12:11)

Question 11

Procedure for discipline

Answer 11

First, check your own heart (Eph 6:4)

Make sure that the instructions you gave were clear, and understood.

If a warning is appropriate, Give only one warning (no counting)

Always discipline a child privately, shame is not a biblical approach to discipline

Ensure the child understood the instruction and acknowledges that he did not obey, Make sure he knows what the should have done instead