Counseling: Anger

Question 1

psalm 37:8

Answer 1

Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil.

Question 2

Proverbs 12:16

Answer 2

A fool is quick-tempered, but a wise person stays calm when insulted.

Question 3

Proverbs 15:18

Answer 3

A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel.

Question 4

Proverbs 16:32

Answer 4

He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty,
And he who rules his spirit [Patience] than he who takes a city.

[This is opposite to proverbs 12:6, the fool who is quickly tempered]

A lot of people think that might comes from expressing one’s anger instead of controlling it

Some people think that human flourishing comes from being able to express one’s anger freely.

Question 5

Ecclesiastes 7:9

Answer 5

Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the heart of fools

Question 6

Ephesians 4:31

Answer 6

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice

Question 7

Jonah 4:1-11 (summary)

Answer 7

Jonah was greatly displeased and angry when the Lord showed compassion on Nineveh, and God subsequently rebuked and humbled him

Question 8

What is anger

Answer 8

response of the whole person to a negative judgment against a perceived evil

Anger is subjective

Anger reveals an issue of the heart

Question 9

Growth

Answer 9

Circumstances
Response
Thought
Desires
Worshipping

Question 10

Is anger sinful

Answer 10

No, the capacity to experience anger was part of man as he came from the hand of the creator, and not something that was added as a result of the curse

It is possible to be angry in a good way (ps 4:4, 4ph 4:26, Ex 11:8, Neh 5:1-7

However, since the fall of man, sinful anger can be nurtured (Prov 22:24 - 25, 2 Pet 2:14, Heb 5:14; 1 Tim 4:7)

Anger is not sinful, but nurturing anger is

Question 11

Psalm 4:4-5

Answer 11

Anger has everything to do with whether we trust God or not. We are not the rightful judge of situations, only God is. The question is whether we trust God to do that, or whether we are going to take matters into our own hands.

Do I want the person to fear me, or do I want the person to fear God?

“Be angry and do not sin; ponder in your own hearts on your beds, and be silent. Offer right sacrifices and put your trust in the Lord.”

Question 12

Proverbs 22:24-25

Answer 12

Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare.”

Question 13

Anger is disguised under many different names (because people don’t like to admit that they are angry)

Answer 13

upset,
offended
bothered 
annoyed
irritated
resentful
irate
at boiling point
enraged
infuriated
disturbed
disappointed
frustrated
ticked off
hot under the collar
worked up
distressed
bitter
displeased
got up on the wrong side of the bed
haven't had my coffee yet

Question 14

Anger has many evil friends

Answer 14

1. murder (gen 4)
2. wrath, bitterness, slander, malice (eph 4:31)
3. Associated with works of the flesh Gal 5:19-21
4. Associated with the old self apart form Jesus, contrary to scripture (col 3:8, James 1:19-20

Question 15

Can ohters MAKE us angry?

Answer 15

No

Anger is something that we do, the bible makes is clear that anger isn’t something that someone or something else makes us do

Anger is a choice. Anger is not a reflection of others but a reflection of our own heart

Ps 37:8

Eph 4:31

Question 16

How is anger idolatry

Answer 16

It is worshiping ourselves and not God

I want what I want, how I want it, and when I want it, and if I can’t have things my way then I am gonna be angry.

Question 17

How is anger metal murder?

Answer 17

Matt 5:21 - 22

“You have heard that it was said to those of old, “you shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgement.’ But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgement; whoever insults his brother will be liabel to the council; and whoever says ‘you fool!” will be liable to the hell of fire

Question 18

How is anger deceptive?

Answer 18

Because we believe we have a right to be angry and that everyone would just understand (understanding is not justification)

Heb 3:13

Question 19

Causes of sinful anger

Answer 19

1. Selfish Desires

The primary cause are our own selfish desires (eph 2:3; Ps 51:5; Col 3:8-10; James 4:1-3)

James 4:1-3

“What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions”

2. Rights

The things we think we have a right to

3. Internal influences
   a. )Lack of self-control (prov 25:28)

Self control is necessary for change

b.)Churning and fretting

Prov 30:33

“For pressing milk produce curds pressing the nose produces blood, and pressing anger produces strife.”

At some point the churning and fretting (rumination) needs to be abandoned, otherwise, it will produce strife

c.) Collecting and retaining offenses

Eph 4:26

“Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger”

Question 20

Ken Sande’s progression of a heart idol

Answer 20

I desire
I demand
I judge
I punish

Question 21

When does something become an idol?

Answer 21

when it begins to control our thoughts and behavior and to direct our lives

An idol is anything apart from God that we depend on to be happy, fulfilled, or secure. In biblical terms it is something other than God that we set our heart on (Luke 12:29), that motivates us (1 Corinthians 4:5), that masters and rules us (Psalm 119:133; Ephesians 5:5), or that we trust, fear, or serve (Isaiah 42:17; Matthew 6:24; Luke 12:4-5). In short, it is something we love and pursue in place of God (see Philippians 3:19).

Question 22

What is an Idol according to Martin Luther

Answer 22

As Martin Luther wrote, “To whatever we look for any good thing and for refuge in every need, that is what is meant by ‘god.’ To have a god is nothing else than to trust and believe in him from the heart…. To whatever you give your heart and entrust your being, that, I say, is really your god.”

Question 23

Those who worship anything besides the Lord …

Answer 23

will multiply their sorrow

Question 24

3 important questions (FIB) pertaining to the problem

Answer 24

1. Frequency: How long has this been going on? How often?
2. Intensity: How have you expressed it? (anger: Have you ever punched someone? have you ever thrown stuff at him?)
3. Breadth: How far-reaching is this? How many other areas of your life does this affect?

Question 25

How do we address sinful anger

Answer 25

FAITH

Focus on the gospel
Admit your anger
Investigate the cause
Trust God to be just
Have hope

Question 26

How do we address sinful anger

Answer 26

FAITH

Focus on the gospel
Admit your anger
Investigate the cause
Trust God to be JUST
Have hope

Question 27

Don’t euphemize it euthanize it

Answer 27

Call a spade a spade and deal with it

Anger is not frustration or annoyance it is Anger, admit to it and deal with it

Question 28

If you cannot say anything good …..

Answer 28

repent and then say something good.

Question 29

Questions for investigating the causes of anger

Answer 29

What do you ant to you aren’t getting?
What are you getting that you don’t want?
What do you think you deserve?
what perceived right do you think is being violated?
identify the potential idol of your heart