Chapter 11 (BAL) Flashcards
To connect with others in enduring, close relationships
Need to belong
Acts of excluding or ignoring
Ostracism
Deficits in brain mechanisms that inhibit unwanted behavior
Self-control breakdown
Opposite of ostracism that activates brain reward system
Feeling love
How often people’s path cross
Interaction
Expecting that someone will be pleasant and compatible
Anticipatory liking
Familiarity does not breed contempt; rather, it fosters fondness
Mere exposure
Tendency for novel stimuli to be liked more or rated more positively after the rater has been
repeatedly exposed to them
Mere-exposure effect
Common prediction of boredom
Decreased interest
Hardwired phenomenon that predisposes
our attractions and attachments
Enormous adaptive significance
Automatic, unconscious prejudice people often feel when confronting those who are different
Wariness of the unfamiliar
State of being almost the same, or which something or someone is almost alike.
SIMILARITY
Supposed tendency, between people in a relationship, to complete what is missing in each other.
COMPLEMENTARITY
Seeing only the good points of the person and
therefore our view of them is unrealistic.
Rose-colored glasses
We like those who reward us and those we associate with rewards
Reward Theory of Attraction
State of intense longing for union with another
Passionate love
Argue that when the revved-up men responded to a woman, they easily misattributed some of their own arousal to her.
Two-factor theory of emotion
If a close relationship is to endure, it will
settle to a steadier but still warm afterglow
Companionate love
3 attachment styles
Secure attachment
Avoidant attachment
Anxious attachment
Attachments rooted in trust and marked
by intimacy
Secure attachment
Attachments marked by discomfort over or resistance to being close to others.
Avoidant attachment
Attachments marked by anxiety or ambivalence.
Anxious attachment
A condition in which the outcomes people
perceive from a relationship are proportional to what they contribute to it.
EQUITY
We respond to someone’s need without
expecting anything in return
LONG TERM EQUITY
Revealing intimate aspects of oneself to
others.
SELF DISCLOSURE
The tendency for one person’s intimacy of self-disclosure to match that of a conversational partner.
DISCLOSURE RECIPROCITY
People who are genuine in revealing their own feelings, who are accepting of others’ feelings, and who are empathic, sensitive, reflective listeners.
“ growth promoting “ listeners
Love is a feeling; often ask “What does my heart say?”; have more divorce; marry “for as long as we both shall love”; expects more passion and personal fulfillment in marriage
INDIVIDUALISTIC CULTURE
Love entails obligation; often ask “What will other people say?”; marry more often for life
COLLECTIVIST CULTURE
3 WAYS IN COPING WITH A FAILING RELATIONSHIP
Exhibit loyalty
Exhibit neglect
Voice their concerns
By waiting for conditions to improve
Exhibit loyalty
Usually men; ignore their partner and allow
the relationship to deteriorate
Exhibit neglect
Take active steps to improve the relationship by discussing problems, seeking advice, and
attempting to change.
Voice their concerns
