Chapter 11 Flashcards
What is societal double standards acknowledged in?
Societal double standards acknowledged in forming pairs for friendship, intimacy and sexual expression.
• Assumptions challenged in contemporary dialogue
What are power imbalances influenced by?
Power imbalances are influenced by thoughts related to judgements others might make for their chosen sexual behaviours
Individuals may not be aware of these influences at a personal level while dating and ultimate when making monogamous, longer-term pairings
How do young adults explore their sexuality?
Making choices about the various types of relationships that are available in the “interpersonal marketplace”
Coming to an understanding of who you are and who you are interested in forming an intimate relationship with over the longer term
Perhaps challenging one that may have been prescribed to you
– Family
– Religious doctrine
– Cultural beliefs
What leads individuals to better understanding themselves ?
Experience and maturation lead individuals to better understand themselves and what they are looking for:
– In a dating partner
– in a sexual partner
– in a partner for shorter term relationships
– In a partner for longer term relationships
what are the 4 things included in sexual development ?
Learning about your sexual likes and dislikes
- sexual orientation
Communicating with sexual partners
Becoming responsible about sex - safer sex practices
Developing personal capacity for sexual intimacy
- beyond casual sex or manipulative sex
What is heterosexism?
The belief that heterosexuality is the only legitimate, acceptable, and healthy way for people to be
- Society is heteronormative -Linked to homophobia
- Homophobia is life threatening
What is chaste?
Abstaining from sexual intercourse
- Aka abstinence
- Celibacy may be used in a religious context
- Young and virgin, religious oath are those who use this
What is singleism?
The Stigmatizing and stereotyping of people who are not in a socially recognized couple relationship
What types of people are chaste?
Includes voluntary and involuntary:
Virgins
-Choice
-Waiting until marriage
Singles
Aromantic/Asexual identification
Partnered, but abstinent
- choice
- medical circumstances
Who are adults that aren’t married?
Includes adults who have never married voluntarily or by circumstance (involuntary)
Miscellaneous narratives constructed by individuals and society
Single, but not chaste
42% of single Canadians engage in sexual intercourse at least once per week
If you are single in society what different issues can arise depending on what?
Age
Gender
Cultural background Societal norms
Is the language the same to describe single males vs single females?
Yes
Males: bachelor, playboy guys guys, married to his work
Females: desperate, feminist, lesbian, workaholic
What is common law?
if in a conjugal relationship at least one year
-cohabitation
What is LAT?
Living Apart Together (LAT)
Finances
Geography
Family obligations
Enjoy independence
What is LDR?
Long Distance Relationship (LDR)
Stressful
Positive communication behaviours essential
What are the relationship scripts?
Single
Monogamy
-Widowed/Divorced/Separated
Serial Monogamy
-Partnering in a monogamous relationship without marrying -Preference for one partner
followed by one or more similar types of relationships
How do the opportunities to meet someone vary through age?
College years best chance because eveyrone is out and about
As you get older and have more responsibilities and family obligations it gets herder for people to go out and that pool of people decreases
What has online dating done?
Expanded potential dating pool
what % of single adults have visited online dating sites and how many are there?
40%
more than 1000
What are the advantages of internet dating?
Many sites use personality trait inventories to
match community members
Create a profile Saves time (vetting)
Areas (communities) for all types of commitment levels and sexual orientation
What is speed dating?
Often in urban centres, attended by busy professionals, parents etc
– high density population
Singles rate their “mini-dates” and if matches are made on paper, the organizing body will provide mutual email addresses
What are the innovations in dating?
Singles tours, cruises, adventure travel
- Ability to identify other singles who wish to engage in casual sex, relationship development, future marriage etc.
- Ability to meet people at similar stages of life, with similar interests
Why is there so much invested in the dating world?
majority of people want to be paired,
-95% of adults in Canada will marry
What are the other dyad options?
Cohabitation
Common-law marriage Domestic partnerships Arranged marriages
What is the common alternative to marriage?
Cohabitation
- Convenience/time saving
- Financial savings
- An opportunity to evaluate compatibility
- -research challenges this premise
which province has the highest rates of cohabitation?
– Quebec has highest provincial cohabitation rate – Quebec has highest provincial divorce rate
How often to couples who are married vs cohabitation have sex?
Married: 9-11 timess a month
Cohabitation: 11-13
What is the hypothesis for why people have sex more often if they are cohabitation?
One hypothesis is that cohabitation is less stable than marriage
therefore more frequent sex strengthens the relationship – possibly have less traditional values
Cohabbitating is less technically stable and therefore putitn gmore effort in th relationship so making more effots in staying connected and results in more sex per week than married couples
What is cohabitation seen as?
Trial marriage
that marriage preceded by cohabitation have a “cohabitation effect” and are:
– less satisfying
– end more quickly
End at 4 years into the relationship on average
What are the 4 relationship factors that influence sexual satisfaction?
- Perceived sexual awards > perceived sexual costs
- Perceived sexual awards and sexual costs meet and/or are
beyond expectations - Equality between own and partner’s perceived sexual rewards and costs
- Happiness with non-sexual aspects of relationship
What is the typical sexual pattern in marriage?
High low then high
When is sexual satisfaction most likely to decline?
birth of first child
Oldest child enters adolescece
Empty nest
Who is generally more unhappy with the quality of marriage?
Gender differences emerge
Female assessment of marriage quality declines after the birth of the first child and stays lower than the male for the rest of the marriage
What is the family life cycle stages?
Stage 1: Married for less than 10 years with no children
Stage 2: (Childbearing Families): The oldest child younger than 30 months
Stage 3: (Families with Preschool Children): The oldest child younger than 6
Stage 4: (Families with School Children): The oldest child younger than 13
Stage 5: (Families with Teenagers): The oldest child younger than 20
Stage 6: (Families Launching Young Adults): The oldest child 20 or older
Stage 7: (Middle-Aged Parents): The youngest child 20 or older
Stage 8: (Aging Families): The youngest child 20 or older and one of the spouses is 60 or older
What is the sandwich generation?
Caring for young children
Mentoring and monitoring teens
Care for elderly and/or sick family members
What is the ssex pattern like in a work life balance?
Couples may schedule in love-making as they would with other activities
Work-life balance especially challenging for women
-Carry more of the housework and childrearing responsibilities even if working outside the home
Married couples are better ______ compared to who?
Adjusted
Never married
Separated
Divorced
Widowed inidividuals
What is the role of the internet in sexual satisfaction?
If you aren’t satisfied a t home, provides a covert option to seek that out for extra dyadic relationships
How can the extra dyadic relationships occur under what circumstancesS?
Accidental
Romantic infidelity
Open relationship/marriage Philanderers
What theory is used to explain extra dyadic relationships?
Equity theory?
What is quite theory?
people mentally calculate the benefits and costs for themselves in a relationship
– Role of comparisons
– Investments in the relationship
moderate
Re-assessments occur as the relationship continues
what if a person finds their relationship equitable?
it may justify straying from the primary dyad
Having sex outside of the dyad may be viewed as retiring a sense of equity to your own personal circumstances
What is the other theory we can relate extra relationship sex too?
Evolutionary theorists present evidence that genetics plays a role on this consistency
Historically, it was important for men to “spread their seed” different mates
-Infidelity may be programmed in and adaptive for males in order to maximize opportunities to ensure genetic lineage
What is swinging?
“married couples exchange partners with each other, or include third partner”
May begin with soft swinging:
-Another couple is watched without participation !
Overt extradyadic relationships
What is polyamory?
“Non-possessive, honest, responsible and ethical philosophy and practice of loving multiple people simultaneously”
Full disclosure
-honesty and forthrightness about sexual relationships
can be religious or not
What happens to sex post relationship ?
Widowed and divorced women who have post-marital sex often begin a relationship within one year of the end of the marriage
Divorced men are more sexually active than divorced women-
-Larger dating pool
What % of Canadian marriages will end in divorce?
40% of Canadian marriages will end in divorce
What affects libido?
Normal aging results in hormonal changes
What are the attitudes about sex in older adults?
Stereotypical idea of asexuality ascribed to older adults
Negativity attitudes towards sexual expression of older adults documented in care facilities
Hypothesis that ideas related to sex and procreation contribute to ignoring sex interest beyond the fertile and child caring years
What is menopause?
Physical changes in women Climacteric: -Estrogen levels decline -There is a gradual decline in functioning of the ovaries -Signals the end of fertility and reproduction -Emotional and physical changes
What are the physical and changes of menopause?
Vagina shrinks in both width and length
Vaginal lubrication decreases
– May result in discomfort or pain with penetrative sex
Changes in the experience of orgasm
Libido may decline
-can affect the individual and the couple
impact loneliness if single
Bladder may be sensitive to penile thrusting, urinary urgency
Hot flashes throughout the day and night
Hair growth and/or loss
What are the psychological changes of menopause?
Depression Irritability – Anxiety – Insomnia Concentration and memory issues Difficulty coping with the transition away from reproductive/childrearing years
What is HRT?
Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) was commonly used to augment/replace women’s estrogen levels as they progressed through menopause
Decreased hot flashes, treated insomnia, assisted with vaginal lubrication and vaginal wall integrity
Why did they stop HRT?
Stop the study 5 years in case the harm was treated then the benefit
What is andropause?
declining levels of androgens
Testosterone production declines
Erections occur more slowly
Difficulty maintaining erection and/or ejaculating
What are the 2 factors are critical in maintaining sexual capacity in old age?
Good physical and mental health
Regularity of sexual expression - “if you don’t use it, you lose it”
What do older couples do who have a great sexual relationship?
Great lovers work at it
Adjustment of sexual scripts
Not settling for less than you are seeking
“Great sex requires time, devotion and intentionality”
Explorations and familiarity within trusting relationships are advantageous
Aging and chronic health issues can be overcome to achieve satisfaction
Who have more options for partners as they age?
One influence on sexuality in the elderly is the fact
that there are far more elderly women than elderly
men
-Women live longer than men
-Lesbian women will have greater catchment of women available for relationships as they age
– Research shows us that widowed men often die shortly after the death of female spouse
