Oct 8 Flashcards
lecture topics
- what makes communication challenging?
- channels of nonverbal communication
- individual differences in communication
interpersonal gap
disconnect between what the SENDER INTENDS to communicate and the EFFECT of the communication to the PERCEIVER
3 steps and mediations involved in the interpersonal gap
- SENDER’S INTENTIONS (private and known only to the sender)
^MEDIATED by:
a. noise and interference
b. sender’s encoding style
- SENDER’S ACTIONS (public and observable by anyone)
^MEDIATED by:
a. noise and interference
b. listener’s style of decoding
- EFFECT ON LISTENERS (private and known only by the listener)
interpersonal gap: sender
- private knowledge of what they wish to convey
- must be encoded into verbal & nonverbal actions
- various factors may interfere - skill, inhibition, mood, distractions in the environment
interpersonal gap - recipient
- decode sender’s actions
- potential interference - skill, biases, mood, distractions in the environment
- interpretation (private)
relational consequences of the interpersonal gap
interpersonal gap may contribute to FRUSTRATION & DISSATISFACTION in relationship
relational consequences: in unhappy couples, INTENT isn’t necessarily…
more negative
but IMPACT is more negative
COMMUNICATION shapes how (and whether):
a. relationships begin
b. how they unravel in the end
c. everything in between
communication shapes how/whether…
a. relationships begin
b. how they unravel in the end
c. everything in between
interpersonal gap in close relationships
ironically, this gap may sometimes appear more frequently in close than casual relationships
why?
perspective-taking
for successful communication, need to recognize that others don’t see the world exactly as we do
differing knowledge, expectations, motivations, visual perspectives
perspective-taking is a skill that…
is developed over time
young children don’t distinguish between what they know and what others know
perspective-taking - young children’s inability to use this skill is shown in their poor performance on…
director task
director task
measure of perspective taking
view of a bunch of shelves with different things in there
participants and directors have different views (some things seen by participants can’t be seen by the director)
director tells Ps to move the “small truck” - for P the small truck is different than that seen by the director
if you engage in perspective-taking, you would choose a different small truck
kids are really bad at this - show EGOCENTRIC BIAS
perspective taking - what changes with age?
still show egocentric bias even as adults
but become BETTER at EFFORTFUL CORRECTING of initial egocentric interpretation by taking into account difference between self and other’s perspectives
how do adults still show egocentric bias?
- FALSE CONSENSUS EFFECT
- CURSE OF KNOWLEDGE
- ILLUSION OF TRANSPARENCY EFFECT
false consensus effect
overestimate extent to which other share our attitudes/feelings
can be shocking to realize that people don’t share our beliefs on things we feel strongly about
(way in which adults still show egocentric bias)
curse of knowledge
use our own knowledge as GUIDE to other’s knowledge
(way in which adults still show egocentric bias)
illusion of transparency
overestimate extent to which our internal states are accessible to others
(way in which adults still show egocentric bias)
dual process model
stage 1: AUTOMATIC, effortless default
^ leans egocentric
stage 2: EFFORTFUL correction of egocentric bias
differences between children & adults on Director Task
- adults make fewer mistakes (although still make some)
- but DON’T DIFFER in tendency to LOOK at egocentric objects (eye tracking measure)
^adults NO LESS LIKELY than children to CONSIDER the egocentric object, but more likely to correct
egocentric biases corollaries
corrective process of stage 2 are effortful - so anything impeding ability to exert control/expend effort will reduce capacity to correct for egocentric bias
- biases increase under COGNITIVE LOAD
^distractions, fatigue, stress
- MOTIVATION can decrease egocentric bias
^lack of motivation can increase it
so why are we sometimes MORE egocentric when communicating with CLOSE OTHERS than with strangers?
- inclusion of other in self
^may overestimate extent to which close others share our perspective
while we assume that stranger’s perspective is different & PAY MORE ATTENTION
we “let our guard down” when it comes to close other’s perspective
stranger vs friend: less or more correction on director task?
less correction with friend
gauging & communicating romantic interest
- strong APPROACH-AVOID conflict in relationship initiation context
- social NORMS against being too DIRECT
- rely on LESS DIRECT & efficient methods instead
examples:
a. TRIAL intimacy moves
b. DIMINISHING self
c. WITHDRAWING
d. HAZING
strong APPROACH-AVOID conflict in relationship initiation context
a. want to get closer to partner, but don’t want to be embarrassed or hurt
b. 88% of Ps report avoiding the “are we more than just friends?” conversation
social norms against…
being too direct
don’t want to impose on potential partner
reliance on less direct and less efficient methods allow us to try…
to reduce uncertainty
subtle dance to gauge other person’s interest and reduce uncertainty
trial intimacy moves
escalate PHYSICAL or PSYCHOLOGICAL intimacy to see how the other person responds
- escalating touch/proximity
^move closer, see how other person responds
- reciprocity
^self-disclosure, do they reciprocate the disclosure?
2 types of trial intimacy moves
- escalating touch/proximity
- reciprocity (ie. in self-disclosure)
diminishing self
making SELF-DEPRECATING comments in HOPE for REASSURANCE
“maybe you want to talk to someone else here?”
“you probably won’t find me very interesting”
way of gauging & communicating romantic interest
withdrawing
testing to see whether the person will sustain the interaction
way of gauging & communicating romantic interest
hazing
testing to see whether target will provide some FAVOUR or SERVICE at a COST to themselves
way of gauging & communicating romantic interest
making approach in indirect, ambiguous way
partner must infer meaning
ie. “doing anything Friday night?”
- allows one to SAVE FACE
- COMMUNICATES RESPECT for partner’s AUTONOMY & lessens sense of OBLIGATION
indirect, ambiguous proposal communicate RESPECT for partner’s AUTONOMY & lessens sense of OBLIGATION …
HEDGES to avoid assumptions
“if you want…”, “I was thinking…”, “maybe…”
communicate that you don’t want to IMPINGE
“I know you’re busy”