Oct 24 Flashcards
1
Q
reasons for having sex
A
study of 44 Ps
“please list all the reasons you can think of why you, or someone you have known, has engaged in sex in the past”
237 distinct reasons
identified 4 broad themes with 13 subfactors
2
Q
4 broad themes of reasons for having sex
A
- physical
- emotional
- goal attainment
- insecurity
3
Q
physical: reasons for having sex
A
PPSE
- pleasure
ie. “it feels good” - physical desirability
ie. “the person’s physical appearance turned me on” - stress reduction
ie. “I wanted to release tension” - experience seeking
ie. “I was curious about what the person was like in bed”
4
Q
emotional: reasons for having sex
A
- love & commitment
ie. “I wanted to intensify my relationship” - expression
ie. “I wanted to say thank you”
5
Q
goal attainment: reasons for having sex
A
RRSU
- resources
ie. “I wanted a promotion” - revenge
ie. “I was mad at my partner so I had sex with someone else” - social status
ie. “I wanted to impress friends” - utilitarian
ie. “I thought it would help me fall asleep”
6
Q
insecurity: reasons for having sex
A
- self-esteem boost
ie. “I wanted to feel attractive” - duty or pressure
ie. “I wanted them to stop bugging me about sex” - mate guarding
ie. “I didn’t want to lose them”
7
Q
1 reason for having sex
A
“I was attracted to the person”
for both men and women
8
Q
most frequently endorsed reasons for having sex
A
generally positive in nature
attraction, pleasure, affection, love, adventure, desire to please, opportunity, celebration
9
Q
least frequently endorsed reasons for having sex
A
generally more negative in nature
retaliation, manipulation, desire to enhance one’s social status, desire to inflict harm
less frequent, but potentially extremely damaging
10
Q
gender differences: reasons for having sex
A
- men report higher FREQUENCIES of individual items & sub-factors
a) including UTILITARIAN reasons - maybe contradicts stereotype that only women use sex to get what they want
- men endorse more reasons centering on physical appearance of partner, experience seeking, enhancement of social status
- men have stronger sex drives
10
Q
gender similarities: reasons for having sex
A
& women remarkably similar in most frequently endorsed reasons
not a lot of evidence that women are more likely to endorse emotional reasons (contrary to stereotype)
11
Q
men endorse more of which kinds of reasons for having sex?
A
- physical appearance of partner
- experience seeking
- enhancement of social status
12
Q
gender sex drive gap gets bigger…
A
after having children and menopause
13
Q
details: men’s higher sex drives
A
- more SPONTANEOUS THOUGHTS about sex
- greater VARIETY & FREQ of sexual FANTASIES
- greater DESIRED FREQ of SEX
- greater DESIRED # of PARTNERS
- more likely to succumb to SEXUAL TEMPTATION (mate poaching, infidelity)
- engage in more MASTURBATION & PORN
- hold more PERMISSIVE sex attitudes (except regarding same-sex behaviour)
14
Q
evidence that women exhibit greater…
A
relational focus when it comes to sex
- women prefer sex within context of ongoing, committed relationships
- men express more desire for extradyadic sex
- women’s fantasies are more likely to include familiar partner, affection & commitment; men’s are more likely to include strangers & anonymous partners
15
Q
although women have more of a relational focus when it comes to sex…
A
men are no less likely to engage in sex for emotional/affectional reasons
and they feel happier with their sexual experiences:
a) when they’re happy with their relationship
b) when their partner is enjoying themselves
16
Q
sociosexual orientation
A
SOI
trait measure of individual differences in SEXUAL STRATEGIES
extent to which individuals are RESTRICTIVE or PERMISSIVE in their attitudes towards casual sex
ranges from low to high
17
Q
low SOI (restricted)
A
tend toward LONG-TERM mating strategies
insist on commitment and closeness in relationship prior to having sex
fewer sexual partners & one night stands
18
Q
high SOI (unrestricted)
A
tend toward SHORT-TERM mating strategies
feel comfortable with sex without commitment or closeness
more sexual partners & one-night stands
endorse MORE REASONS for having sex (with exception of love and commitment)
19
Q
gender and SOI
A
on average, men are higher in SOI
but much more variability WITHIN each gender than between the genders
gender diffs account for only 9% of the variance in number of desired sex partners, 20% of variance in consenting to sex with attractive acquaintance, 25% of variance in casual sex
20
Q
gender and SOI: variance percentages
A
gender diffs account for only:
a) 9% of the variance in number of desired sex partners
b) 20% of variance in consenting to sex with attractive acquaintance
c) 25% of variance in casual sex
21
Q
gender and SOI: approx ___% of US men have LESS favourable attitudes towards casual sex than the ____ of US women
A
30%
median
22
Q
evolutionary explanations for gender and SOI
A
recall that there’s asymmetry in MINIMAL PARENTAL INVESTMENT
women may increase reproductive success by being choosier, selecting mates that will provide resources, care & protection
men may increase reproductive fitness by pursuing MULTIPLE mating opportunities
23
Q
social role theory and sex
A
traditional view of men as INITIATORS
and women as GATE KEEPERS
changing, but stigma against sexually permissive women still exists
24
social role theory: sexual double standard
harsher judgment of women (relative to men) for engaging in similar sexual activity
women socialized to RESTRICT feelings of sexual desire to context of committed intimate relationships
25
gender diffs in casual sex preferences: Clark & Hatfield study
secret filming experiment
male & female confederates approached students on campus
"would you go to bed with me?"
75% of men and 0% of women accepted the offer
26
gender diffs in casual sex preferences: a closer look
Ps asked to imagine that they were approached with an offer for casual sex
women LESS LIKELY to accept offer
women also anticipated that they'd be SEEN as MORE PROMISCUOUS, socially inappropriate, desperate & less intelligent if they accepted the offer
this PERCEIVED NEG STIGMA inhibited their receptiveness
27
mediator in gender diffs in casual sex prererences
perceived negative stigma
gender > perceived negative stigma > receptiveness to offers of casual sex
28
casual sex negative stigma - were the women right to expect negative judgment?
1. Ps rated a women accepting offer of casual sex MORE NEGATIVELY than a man accepting the same offer
ie. as more promiscuous, less mentally healthy, less intelligent
2. men were more concerned about what would happen if they REJECTED the offer
ie. viewed as less intelligent, less mentally healthy
29
gender diffs in causal sex: safety
women believe male proposer is more dangerous compared to how men view female proposer
bisexual women more likely to accept offer from a woman
gender gap decreases when proposed casual sex partner is familiar
30
gender diffs in causal sex: gender gap disappears when...
disappears when proposed casual sex partner is very ATTRACTIVE or believed to be SEXUALLY SKILLFUL
suggests that KEY CONSIDERATION is expectation of PLEASURE
concern not unwarranted - women orgasm 35% as often as men in first-time casual sex encounters
31
gender diffs in sexual behaviour: TAKEAWAY
when it comes to sexual behaviour & motivation, men & women DIFFER in MEANINGFUL, SUBSTANTIAL ways
but our REASONS for having sex are COMPLEX & MULTI-FACETED, likely reflect both BIOLOGICAL & EVOLUTIONARY and SOCIAL influences
32
genders diffs: reasons for having sex...
are complex & multi-faceted
likely reflect both biological & evolutionary & social influences
33
reasons for having sex are mostly driven by...
seeking of pleasure
insecurities
desire to connect
34
for men and women, _____ & ______ _______ _______ often go hand in hand
sex & intimate romantic relationships
this too can be explained from an evolutionary perspective
35
sexual behavioural system
innate - basic operation doesn't rely on socialization
individual differences in sexual motives, emotions, behaviours reflect VARIATIONS IN FUNCTIONING of the system
36
what's the function of the sexual behavioural system? what about the proximal cause?
the function/evolutionary purpose is PASSING ON GENES TO NEXT GEN
proximal/immediate case isn't necessarily the same as the evolutionary function
37
is the sexual system separate from the attachment system?
yes
can 'mate without bonding' and 'bond without mating'
38
sex and attachment system: evolutionary view
big brains + bipedalism = serious adaptive problem
narrow hips to support walking on two legs = change of pelvis - but we have huge heads, which makes childbirth very dangerous
SOLUTION: softheaded, helpless babies, don't come out fully cooked
NEW PROBLEM: how to keep softheaded, helpless babies alive?
SOLUTION: BI-PARENTAL CAREGIVING and BONDING between sexual partners
39
solution to problem presented by big brains & bipedalism
bi-parental caregiving & bonding between sexual partners
40
sex & attachment system can help us understand somewhat unique...
sexual tendencies of humans
1. "missionary position" > promotes intimate FACE-TO-FACE contact
2. sleeping together after sex
3. sex throughout the menstrual cycle
41
does activation of the sexual system promote relationship initiation and maintenance? study SETUP
showed participants either a sexy movie or a movie about cats
then paired them with another person (preferred sex, attractive, single)
asked to go through self-disclosure task
ie. tell an embarrassing personal story
42
does activation of the sexual system promote relationship initiation and maintenance? study RESULTS
more intimate self-disclosure to potential partner after watching erotic video
subsequent study: also more responsive towards a partner discussing an interpersonal dilemma
43
sexual system and attachment activation TAKEAWAY
activation of sexual system promotes self-disclosure & responsiveness
which play key role in development of intimacy
44
strengthening ongoing relationships: when subliminally primed with erotic cues...
1. more willingness to SACRIFICE for one's partner
2. more preference for using POSITIVE CONFLICT RESOLUTION strategies
3. more desire to do smtg to MAKE PARTNER HAPPY
45
relationship stage model of sexual desire
1. across diff relationship stages, SEXUAL DESIRE MOTIVATES expenditure of effort towards deepening & maintaining the relationship
a) may be particularly potent in EARLY STAGES
b) but serves PROTECTIVE ROLE whenever there's ADVERSITY or VULNERABILITY
2. sexual desire also makes it hard to DETACH if relationship is terminated
ie. can still feel sexual desire for old partner
46
relationship stage model: compensating for relationship vulnerabilities
model predicts that sexual desire may be especially important to relationship persistence for couples facing DIFF TYPES OF VULNERABILITY in relationship
ie. NEUROTICISM, ATTACHMENT INSECURITY
^generally linked to more negative interpersonal perceptions & experiences, lower relationship satisfaction, greater divorce likelihood
while related to lower marital satisfaction on average, UNRELATED when couples engage in FREQUENT SEX
47
what buffers against neg relationship effects caused by neuroticism and attachment insecurity?
frequent sex
48
make up sex
why does romantic conflict sometimes INCREASE sexual desire?
relationship threat > attachment system activation > seeking reassurance & closeness
49
relationship threat prime...
ie. thinking of partner falling in love with someone else
INCREASES INTEREST in sex with partner
50
make up sex caveats
1. there are INDIVIDUAL DIFFS
ie. avoidantly attached individuals are LESS LIKELY to desire partner following threat
2. more effective when conflict is SUCCESSFULLY RRESOLVED
3. consistent conflict & feelings of threat/insecurity can damage relationship over time
51
sexual satisfaction
evaluation of the quality of the sexual aspect of an intimate relationship
ie. my sex is fulfilling
ie. my partner really pleases me sexually
ie. I'm satisfied with our sexual relationship
52
sexual satisfaction is consistently associated with...
overall relationship satisfaction
in both:
a) dating and married couples
b) same-sex and diff sex couples
c) young and old couples
53
sexual satisfaction and relationship satisfaction directionality? LONGITUDINAL STUDY
McNulty et al
BIDIRECTIONAL association during the FIRST FEW YEARS of marriage
- relationship satisfaction > less decline in sexual satisfaction
- sexual satisfaction > less decline in relationship satisfaction
true for men and women
54
sexual satisfaction and relationship satisfaction directionality? LONGITUDINAL STUDY - longer term couples..
longer term couples - sexual satisfaction is associated with changes in relationship satisfaction
but NOT THE REVERSE
path between T1 relationship satisfaction and sexual satisfaction at T2 wasn't found in long term couples
55
more sex = more happiness?
couples who have sex more frequently...
1. are more SATISFIED with their relationships
2. are HAPPIER with their lives overall
sex rated as the daily activity associated with the MOST POSITIVE AFFECT
56
more sex = more happiness? correlational research...
can't establish directionality or causality (can't rule out third factor)
57
more sex = more happiness? experimental research
experimental manipulation: asked half of Ps to DOUBLE their sex frequency
increasing sex frequency DIDN'T increase their happiness
instead, led to LESS DESIRE & LOWER ENJOYMENT of sex
58
more sex = more happiness? perhaps there's a...
point beyond which more sex doesn't lead to more satisfaction
59
point beyond which more sex doesn't lead to more satisfaction STUDY
30 645 participants
sexual frequency only matters for wellbeing for PEOPLE IN RELATIONSHIPS
found a CURIVILINEAR effect of sexual frequency on life satisfaction
life satisfaction LEVELS OFF at around ONCE A WEEK
60
sexual frequency only matters for wellbeing for...
people in relationships
61
financial value of the happiness boost resulting from increasing frequency of sex from once a month to once a week
$50 000 USD in 2004
$100 000 in CAD today
62
for people in romantic relationships, sexual frequency no longer associated with wellbeing at a frequency greater than...
once a week
in Loewenstein et al study, couples were already having sex about once a week at baseline
63
Muise et al - effect of sexual frequency on wellbeing mediated by...
relationship satisfaction
sexual frequency > relationship satisfaction > wellbeing
part of pleasure of sex derives from STRENGTHENING THE INTIMATE BOND, and that doesn't rely on daily sexual activity
64
sexual afterglow - daily diary study
daily diary study with a 4-6 month follow up
following sex, couples experienced LINGERING BOOST in sexual satisfaction that lasts ~48 hours
higher levels of sexual afterglow predicts relationship satisfaction over time
possible that "feel good" neuro-chemicals released during sex that keep us bonded to our partners take a while to dissipate
65
from evolutionary perspective, too-frequent sex may...
be sub-optimal
1. DEPLETES RESOURCES required for other life-sustaining activities
2. SPERM CONCENTRATIONS decrease with successive ejaculations
3. risk of DISPLACING OWN SPERM
66
reasons for having sex and self-determination theory
reasons WHY we have sex also impact our satisfaction & wellbeing
self-determination theory: we're happiest when engaging in activities that meet needs for...
1) COMPETENCE - feel confident & capable
2) AUTONOMY - feel that we can choose & control our own actions
3) RELATEDNESS - feel close to others
fulfilment of all 3 needs UNIQUELY PREDICTS sexual & relationship satisfaction
67
self-determination theory: we're happiest when engaging in activities that meet needs for...
1. AUTONOMY
- feel that we can CHOOSE & CONTROL our own actions
2. RELATEDNESS
- feel CLOSE to OTHERS
3. COMPETENCE
- feel CONFIDENT & CAPABLE
68
social determination theory makes distinction between what kinds of motivation?
AUTONOMOUS and CONTROLLED
when behaving AUTONOMOUSLY, we're doing something we GENUINELY WANT to do
not something we're pressured to do
69
sex is more enjoyable when pursued for _________ reasons
autonomous
a) because it feels good
b) because we enjoy the intimacy it brings
c) because it's seen as valuable part of relationship
70
controlled reasons for having sex
ie. feel pressured to
ie. feel it would be embarrassing to refuse
71
approach versus avoidance motives for having sex
1. approach: motivation to approach REWARDING OUTCOMES
ie. experiencing pleasure, fostering intimacy, pleasing partner
2. avoidance: motivation to avoid NEGATIVE OUTCOMES
ie. escaping conflict, preventing partner's loss of interest
72
having sex for approach reasons...
linked with more POSITIVE EMOTIONAL & RELATIONSHIP OUTCOMES
for both SELF and PARTNER
while having sex for avoidance reasons linked with more negative emotional & relationship outcomes for both self & partner
73
can encourage people to foster sexual approach motivations
half of Ps received info about benefits of approach goals
instructed to focus on approach goals over the next week
one week later, reported having more satisfying sexual experiences and greater relationship satisfaction
74
"sexpectations"
extends to lay beliefs about how sexual satisfaction can be attained & maintained over time
1. sexual GROWTH BELIEFS
2. sexual DESTINY BELIEFS
75
sexual growth beliefs
sexual satisfaction requires EFFORT & WORK
76
sexual destiny beliefs
natural compatibility between partners is key to sexual satisfaction
struggles in a sexual relationship are a sure sign that relationship will fail
a couple is destined to have a satisfying sex life or they are not
77
sexual growth beliefs associated with...
higher levels of sexual & relationship satisfaction for both self and partner
true even when undergoing major transition like birth of child
78
impacts of sexual destiny beliefs on relationship quality depends on...
degree of sexual disagreements in relationship
lower relationship quality when experiencing disagreements about sexual relationship (esp if you have destiny beliefs)
but good news is that sexual beliefs are malleable
