Oct 29 Flashcards

1
Q

communication & sexual interest - recall the…

A

interpersonal gap between sender’s intentions and effect on receiver

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2
Q

in initial encounters, men tend to exhibit…

A

sexual overperception bias

  1. perceive GREATER SEXUAL INTENT in women’s behaviour compared to:

a) women’s self-reported intent
b) outsider observer woman ratings

  1. ascribe more sexual intent to flirting behaviour
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3
Q

communication & sexual interested - may _____ desires…

A

PROJECT desires onto prospective partners

“see what we want to see”

following exposure to sexual prime, Ps perceived potential partners as MORE ATTRACTIVE and more INTERESTED in oneself

heightened romantic interest mediates relationship between sexual activation and perceiving partner as interested in oneself

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4
Q

what mediates relationship between sexual activation and perceived potential partners as more attractive and more interested in oneself?

A

heightened romantic interest

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5
Q

communication & sexual interest in long-term, established couples

A

men exhibit OPPOSITE BIAS - they UNDER-PERCEIVE partner’s sexual desirer

under-perception is associated with relationship benefits (esp for men)

  • partners felt more satisfied & committed to relationship - why?
  • might work a little harder to spark partner’s interest
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6
Q

men might be biased in direction of under-perception to…

A

avoid rejection

stronger under-perception bias on days when more motivated to avoid sexual rejection (both men and women)

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7
Q

sexual communication is a combo of…

A
  1. degree of SEXUAL SELF-DISCLOSURE
  2. QUALITY of sexual communication
  3. FREQUENCY of sexual communication
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8
Q

sexual self-disclosure

A

discussion of sexual preferences

desire to engage in certain activities

sexual attitudes & values

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9
Q

quality of sexual communication

A

satisfaction with communication

feeling that one can talk to partner about pos & neg aspects of sexual relationship

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10
Q

sexual communication is associated with…

A
  1. improvements in all domains of sexual function (desire, arousal, erection, lubrication, orgasm, less pain)
  2. greater sexual satisfaction
  3. greater relationship satisfaction
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11
Q

sexual communication uniquely predicts…

A

sexual and relationship satisfaction

over and above general communications

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12
Q

better sexual communication in gay & lesbian couples…

A

may contribute to more enjoyable sexual experiences

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13
Q

what fraction of couples in long term relationships report experiencing sexual issues?

A

1/3

ie. disagreements about preferred sexual frequency

in most long term, heterosexual relationships, CHRONIC MISMATCH in sexual in sexual desire between partners

effective communication = essential for navigating these disagreements, but it’s not easy

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14
Q

what types of conflicts have stronger impact on relationship quality?

A

sexual conflicts

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15
Q

despite benefits of sexual communication…

A

sexual topics are AVOIDED MORE than nonsexual topics

relationship partners often have poor understanding of each other’s likes & dislikes

rely on GENERALIZATIONS & STEREOTYPES instead

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16
Q

barriers to sexual communication

A
  1. desire to AVOID NEGATIVE EMOTION is a powerful motivator
  2. fear that sexual communication will THREATEN RELATIONSHIP
  3. fear of experiencing SHAME & EMBARRASSMENT
  4. dear that might HURT or SHAME PARTNER

(similar barriers for both sexual and non-sexual conflict discussions - ie. threat to relationship, self, partner)

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17
Q

fear that sexual communication will THREATEN RELATIONSHIP

A
  • may discover incompatible preferences
  • talking about problems may make things worse
  • disclosing past sexual experiences may cause conflict
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18
Q

sexual discussions are _________ _________ to the self

A

especially threatening

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19
Q

cognitive reappraisal

A

emotion regulation strategy, useful when communicating about sex

RE-EVALUATING and REFRAMING the meaning or significance of a situation

instead of saying “I’m going to embarrass myself”, say “this is an opportunity to get closer to my partner”

by CONSTRUING THE SITUATION AS LESS AVERSIVE, we will be less likely to avoid it

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20
Q

responsiveness and sexual communication

A

since disclosures related to sexual conflicts are particularly associated with increased sense of personal vulnerability…

responsiveness becomes EVEN MORE IMPORTANT

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21
Q

interdependence dilemmas involve deciding whether to…

A

act COMMUNALLY (prioritize the partner’s needs over one’s own)

or INDIVIDUALISTICALLY (focusing on one’s own needs)

with increasing interdependence & commitment, TRANSFORMATION of MOTIVATION from individualistic to communal

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22
Q

individuals high in COMMUNAL STRENGTH…

A

are motivated to respond to partner in ways that will ENHANCE PARTNER’S WELLBEING

without expectation for tit-for-tat reciprocation

focus on COMPASSION rather than FAIRNESS

ie. experience more positive emotions and feel more relationship satisfaction on days when they sacrifice for the good of the partner or relationship

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23
Q

experience of more positive emotions and more relationship satisfaction on days when sacrificing for good of partner or relationship is mediated by…

A

feelings of authenticity

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24
Q

sexual communal strength

A

motivated to respond to partner in ways that will enhance partner’s sexual experiences

  1. willingness to meet partner’s sexual needs (even when diff from their own preferences)
  2. keeping an open mind and trying to understand partner’s desires
  3. or, if turning down partner, doing it sensitively - reassuring partner of love & continuing attraction
  4. also means understanding & accepting partner’s need not to engage in sex - responding with understanding instead of hostility or insecurity
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25
when one partner is higher in sexual communal strength...
both partner experience more sexual & relationship satisfaction
26
whereas individuals low in sexual communal strength felt lower sexual satisfaction on days when they engaged in sex while not really in the mood...
people high in sexual communal strength felt EQUALLY satisfied on MATCHED and MISMATCHED desire days because of their commitment/transformation of motivation to prioritize partner's desire
27
important caveats to sexual communal strength
only beneficial when motivation to meet partner's needs comes from a PLACE OF AGENCY feels AUTHENTIC and AUTONOMOUSLY chosen not the same as pressure or coercion
28
unmitigated communion
trait high: focus exclusively on partner's needs to the EXCLUSION OF ONE'S OWN
29
high unmitigated communion individuals
experience less sexual and relationship satisfaction whereas sexual communal strength is associated with APPROACH GOALS, unmitigated sexual communion may be driven by FEELINGS OF INSECURITY/OBLIGATION
30
friends with benefits
1. report fairly high levels of sexual SATISFACTION - but NOT AS HIGH AS people in committed relationships 2. lower levels of sexual COMMUNICATION (ie. discussion of sexual needs & desires) 3. presumably, less interdependence > fewer interdependence dilemmas, but ALSO lower motivation to meet partner's needs
31
affection
duration of post-sex affection (ie. cuddling) associated with greater sexual & relationship satisfaction MORE IMPORTANT than SEX DURATION and FOREPLAY for both men and women especially important for couples with kids
32
post-sex affection is a surprisingly big...
predictor of relationship satisfaction for both men and women
33
affectionate touch (cuddling, kissing, caressing) mediates relationship between...
sexual frequency and greater life satisfaction the affection aspect of sex is what provides value not just the physical play by play
34
affectionate touch: experience sampling study
having sex predicts more affectionate experiences later that day subsequent positive affect
35
anxious attachment and sex
WORRY about: 1. sexual attractiveness & desirability 2. mate poaching USE SEX to: 1. meet needs to be closer to partner 2. extract greater commitment 3. decrease feelings of anxiety & distress EXPERIENCE less sexual satisfaction STRONGER link between sexual satisfaction & relationship satisfaction
36
anxiously attached people tend to use sex to... which may contribute to...
1. meet needs to be closer to partner 2. extract greater commitment 3. decrease feelings of anxiety & distress may contribute to COERCIVE/INTRUSIVE BEHAVIOUR
37
anxioously attached people focus on pleasing partner but...
seem to be driven more by AVOIDANCE motivations however, their partners don't necessarily REPORT LOWER SATISFACTION which is surprising given what we've learned about outcomes of avoidance motivation on partner satisfaction
38
anxiously attached people experience less...
SEXUAL SATISFACTION - less motivated by focus on own physical pleasure - less likely to communicate sexual needs & preferences to partner also places then at GREATER RISK for engaging in unsafe sexual practices
39
anxiously attached people have a greater link between...
sexual satisfaction & relationship satisfaction may use sex as a "barometer" of what's going on in the relationship
40
avoidant attachment: discomfort with closeness may...
interfere with psychological intimacy in sexual situations
41
are avoidant adolescents less likely to engage in sexual activity?
yes 1. engage in sex to "lose their virginity" 2. experience less positive affect 3. more likely to drink or use drugs prior to having sex (to protect against emotional vulnerability/intimacy)
42
avoidant attachment: as adults...
higher in SOI more promiscuous (not explained by sexual desire) more one-night stands poach mates for one-night stands dislike intimate/affectionate aspects of sex
43
avoidantly attached individuals may have sex for...
1. self-enhancement and self-presentation motives ie. to boost social status 2. in relationships, to avoid negative partner affect - more of an exchange perspective when it comes to sex
44
avoidantly attached people have a weaker link...
between sexual satisfaction & relationship satisfaction in contrast to anxiously attached individuals overall relationship satisfaction is less affected by positive and negative sex experiences
45
secure attachment and sex
1. COMFORTABLE with closeness & interdependence - may be inclined toward LONG TERM SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP because have learned that relationships are satisfying 2. positive MODELS of OTHER - see others as caring & well-intentioned - may facilitate effective communication 3. positive MODELS of SELF - feel more desired & valued - can relax defenses and "let go"
46
sexual interactions may buffer against negative effect of...
attachment security on relationship satisfaction ie. attachment avoidance unrelated to marital satisfaction among spouses who had sex more frequently
47
anxious attachment unrelated to marital satisfaction on days when spouses report...
having more satisfying sex
48
consensual non-monogamy (CNM)
umbrella term for various ways couples agree to experience sexual and/or emotional intimacy with multiple people
49
3 broad types of CNM
1. swinging 2. open relationships 3. polyamory
50
swinging
committed couples temporarily exchange partner for sex or include others in their sex life ie. secret lives of mormon wives sex parties
51
open relationships
explicit agreement between committed partners that each may pursue sexual connections with other people but are still emotionally committed to each other
52
polyamory
engaging in ongoing emotional and sexual relationships with multiple people with knowledge and consent of all parties involves arranged through mutual discussion, boundaries are set and agreed upon
53
CNM prevalence
20% of Americans & Canadians report experiencing some form of CNM in the past 4% report being in one now 12% consider it to be ideal form of relationship
54
who tends to be less likely to be open to CNM?
women heterosexual people individuals lower in SOI
55
factors predicting INTEREST in CNM
1. short-term SOI 2. beliefs that love isn't zero sum (it isn't diminished by being shared between multiple people) 3. attachment avoidance 4. greater perception of availability of attractive alternatives BUT INTEREST DOESN'T MEAN PARTICIPATION
56
attachment and interest in CNM
attachment avoidance predicts greater INTEREST in CNM but it's NEGATIVELY RELATED to actually engaging in CNM
57
commitment is negatively associated with attraction to CNM through...
lower perceived quality of alternatives
58
while generally CNM is negatively perceived...
individuals high in CNM relationships rate levels of sexual and relationship satisfaction EQUALLY HIGHLY or SLIGHTLY HIGHER as non-CNM couples
59
CNM spillover effect
for men men who are more sexually fulfilled in secondary relationship reported greater relationship satisfaction with primary partner but women who were more sexually fulfilled with secondary partner reported lower sexual satisfaction in their primary relationship
60
consensual non-monogamy - most extant research is... and what kind of bias?
cross-sectional survivorship bias
61
prospective study of CNM
1. opening up relationship didn't change personal or relational wellbeing over 2 month period 2. but related to increase in sexual satisfaction over 2 months - effect most pronounced among individuals motivated by sexual incompatibility
62
prospective study of CNM limitations
short term study only sampled 1 member of the couple (likely the most enthusiastic one)