5. Getting Closer Flashcards
In a study by Eastwick & Finkel (2008), before a speed dating event, pts rated the importance of a series of characteristics including:
1. P____ a____
2. E____ p____
3. F____
- Physical attractiveness
- Earning potential
- Friendliness
IN Eastwick & Dinkel (2008), pts rated each person on each of the characteristics at the end of the speed date. There was __ r____ between what people s____ they w____ before the event and w____ they w____ to date after the event.
no relationship
said they wanted
who they wanted
Predicting romantic attraction is more r____ than we may believe. People may feel as though they’re d____ to be t____, but this seems to be the r____ rather than the c____ of liking someone
random
destined, together
result, cause
People often don’t account for the fact m____ s____ is d____ - partners select each other
mate selection, dyadic
(Predetermined lists of preferences discount the “dyadic” process)
Non-verbal signals of romantic interest include:
1. S____, increased e____ c____ and p____ d____
2. S____ gestures and m____
3. T____ on f____, n____ and t____
4. Less d____, o____ toward each other
- smiling, eye contact, pupil dilation
- Synchronised, mimicking
- touch, face, neck, torso
- distance, oriented
In a survey in 2022, it was shown __% of people have used dating apps to meet someone
30%
In 2022, dating online was particularly common among:
1. Y____ a____: __%
2. N____-h____: __%
- Younger adults (18-29): 53%
- Non-heterosexual (e.g., gay, lesbian, bisexual): 51%
In 2022, ____ people were active in online dating in the UK
10 million
Reviewed studies suggest that matching people on apps based on s____-r____ p____ may not work
Self-reported preferences
One reason online dating can be disappointing is because we may not feel as a____ to others when finding out who they r____ are, as opposed to who we t____ or w____ they were
attracted
really
thought, wished
The interdependence theory is the s____ e____ theory applied to intimate relationships
social exchange
The interdependence theory states that r____ and c____ determine s____ and c____ (i.e. whether to stay or leave)
rewards, costs, satisfaction, commitment
In the interdependence theory, rewards are defined as d____ relationship experiences and costs are defined as u____ relationship experiences
desirable, undesirable
Rewards and costs can be t____/m____ or i____/s____
Tangible/material (e.g., making dinner, financial assistance)
intangible/social (e.g., feeling loved, knowing your partner is dependable, jealousy)
We pay more a____ to costs, and r____ them more than rewards. They have roughly __x greater influence.
attention, remember
5x
The “Magic” 5 to 1 ratio means that we need at least 5 p____ experiences against one n____ experience for a relationship to be r____
positive, negative, rewarding
The Investment model talks about three aspects in commitment:
1. S____ - how h____ are you in this relationship?
2. A____ - how happy would you be in a____ relationship? Or a____?
3. I____ - what have you p____ i____ this relationship that you would l____ if the relationship were to end?
- Satisfaction, happy
- Alternatives, another, alone
- Investment, put into, lose
A meta-analysis showed that s____ was the strongest predictor of commitment, but i____ were a strong predictor as well as perceiving f____ a____
satisfaction, investments, fewer alternatives
H____ i____ may enable couples to weather the inevitable stormy times. But, they can also t____ people in u____ relationships. Women with h____ i____ and p____ a____ are more likely to return to a____ partners
High investments
trap, unhealthy
high investments, poor alternatives, abusive
Commitment helps to p____ and m____ relationships in different ways:
1. D____ alternatives
2. A____ - respond more c____ when d____
3. Makes s____ when c____ of i____ arise
Commitment helps to protect and maintain relationships:
1. Derogate alternatives (e.g., committed individuals rate attractive people as less sexy than single individuals) (Lydon & Karremans, 2015)
2. Accommodate: respond more constructively when dissatisfied (e.g., bite their tongue during a fight, try to work things out) (Rusbult et al., 1991)
3. Make sacrifices when conflicts of interest arise (Righetti & Impett, 2017)
Attachment is an i____ e____ b____ to a particular individual who is seen as providing p____, c____ and s____
intimate emotional bond
protection, comfort, support
John Bowlby (Attachment Theory) began by observing i____/c____ relationships and discovered the A____ s____. This is when we form b____ with others and become d____ if they are u____. The e____ function of the attachment system is to keep c____ close to i____.
infant/caregiver
Attachement system
bonds, distress, unavailable
evolutionary, caregivers, infants
There are three Normative Attachment Processes:
1. P____ m____ - staying n____ and resisting s____
2. S____ h____ - turning to for c____, s____ and r____
3. S____ B____ - using as a b____ from which to e____ in n____-a____ behaviour
- Proximity maintenance - near, separations
- Safe Haven - comfort, support, reassurance
- Secure Base - base, engage, non-attachment
We learn in e____ c____ what to e____ from others
early childhood, expect, others
In early childhood, we develop b____ and e____ about:
1. O____ - whether they will r____ to our n____
2. S____ - whether we are w____ of l____
These beliefs influence our t____, f____ and b____ in relationships
beliefs, expectations
1. Others - respond, needs
2. Self - worthy, love
thoughts, feelings, behaviour in relationships
There are four different attachment orientations:
1. S____ - low a____ and a____
2. A____-p____ - low a____ and high a____
3. F____-a____ - high a____ and a____
4. D____-a____ - high a____ and low a____
- Secure - low avoidance and anxiety
- Anxious-preoccupied - low avoidance and high anxiety
- Fearful-avoidant - high avoidance and anxiety
- Dismissive-avoidant - high avoidance and low anxiety
People with secure attachment:
- Learned that p____ s____ leads to s____, p____ and r____ of d____
- turn to other when d____
- believe distress is m____
- more s____ and s____ relationships
- proximity seeking, support, protection, relief of distress
- distressed
- manageable
- stable, satisfying
People with dismissive-avoidant attachment:
- Value s____-r____ and i____
- Avoid seeking s____ when d____
- Expect relationship f____, averse to c____
- Relationships lack i____, keep partners at a d____
- feel higher levels of a____ when i____ with potential romantic a____
- Report feeling a sense of r____ after breakups
Value self-reliance and independence
Avoid seeking support when distressed
Expect relationship failure, averse to commitment
Relationships lack intimacy, keep partners at a distance
Feel higher levels of attraction when interacting with potential romantic alternatives
Report feeling a sense of relief after break-ups
Anxious-Preoccupied attachment:
- hypervigilant about l____ and r____
- when distressed, excessive r____ on others
- demanding of c____, a____ and a____
- i____, d____ and overly d____
- hard time g____ o____ b____-u____
Hypervigilant about loss and rejection
When distressed, excessive reliance on others
Demanding of closeness, attention and approval
Intrusive, demanding, and overly disclosing
Hard time getting over break-ups
Fearful-avoidant attachment:
- high a____ - h____ to potential h____ and r____
- high a____ - w____ then u____, avoids c____
- relatively poor p____ and s____ adjustment
- difficulty e____ f____
High anxiety: hypersensitive to potential hurt and rejection
High avoidance: withdraws when upset; avoid coping
Relatively poor personal and social adjustment
Difficulty expressing feelings
Early attachment researchers (e.g. Bowlby) claimed that attachment style originates e____ in l____ and shapes relationships from the “c____ to g____”
early in life
“cradle to grave”
Attachment style is rather s____ over time, but n____ e____ matter, for b____ or w____
stable, new experiences
better or worse
(Break-ups & new (good) relationships (Fraley, 2019)
Become more secure with age (Chopik et al., 2019))
