Relational Value, Hurt Feelings and Ostracism Flashcards
Relational
Value
The degree to which others
consider their relationships
with us to be valuable and
important
We all want to feel valuable in
our relationships. This fulfills
our need to belong.
The Need to
Belong
“a pervasive drive to form and
maintain at least a minimum
quantity of lasting, positive, and significant interpersonal
relationships”
Requires frequent and pleasant interactions in relationships that are stable, enduring, and show
concern for one’s welfare.
u just need one person to sufice the need but its not good to only have one because you can become very dependent
acceptance > rejection
Maximal Inclusion ( i really want u to come!)> Ambivalence Maximal (come dont come idk)> Exclusion(u werent invited)
Relational Value and Hurt Feelings
inclusion/exclusion by others
leads us to perceive our
relational value. When this is
not has high as we want it to
be, we feel hurt. This can affect
our sense of belonging and
well-being
Only a small change in level of
acceptance by others can be
damaging. Ambivalence can
feel just as hurtful as maximal
exclusion.
Self-esteem and Acceptance
low self-esteem u will surround yourself with people that brings it down
Relational
Devaluation
The painful realization that our partners do not love, respect, or accept us as much as they used
to, or as much as we though they did
A Map of the human reletionship system
power = influence through competition control
-dominance/submission
love= influence through alturism/cooperatio
-hostility/affiliation
freedom= freedom from influence
-autonomy/dependecy
high relational value
joy/plesure approch
hope-anticipation of plesure
Ostracism
When people intentionally ignore
us – giving us the “silent treatment.”
This may lead us to be compliant
but can also cause us to be
antagonistic.
Those with high self-esteem are
less tolerant of ostracism and
more likely to end the relationship.
tylanol can help u feel better because the hurt is just as hurtful as getting phisically hurt
