Jealousy Flashcards
Jealousy
The emotional reaction to a
perceived threat to an existing
relationship
Envy
A person’s desire to obtain
something that someone else
already possesses
Rivalry
Two people compete for
something neither one
possesses
Basic Types of Jealousy
-
Reactive jealousy: Occurs in response to a real threat to a valued
relationship -
Suspicious jealousy: Occurs in response to an imagined thread to a
valued relationship
One’s partner hasn’t misbehaved and one’s suspicions may not fit the facts at hand
Three Components of Jealousy
Multi-dimentional Jealousy Scale
Cognitive: “how often do you have the following thoughts?”
o I suspect that X may be attracted to someone else
o I think that X is secretly developing a relationship with someone else
o I’m worried that someone is trying to seduce X
Emotional: “how would you react to the following?”
o X hugs and kisses someone of the opposite sex [gender they are interested in]
o X comments on how great looking someone else is
o X is flirting with someone of the opposite sex [gender they are interested in]
Behavioral: “how often do you engage in these behaviors?”
o I call X unexpectedly, just to see if they are there
o I look through X’s drawers, handbag, pockets
o I join in whenever I see X talking to a member of the opposite sex [gender they are interested in]
Causes of
Jealousy
- Low Self-Esteem
Causes of Jealousy
continued
Relational factors
Feelings of inadequacy in the
relationship
- May stem from
imbalance/inequity in the
relationship
Dependance on a relationship
* The threat of loss is real
This Photo by Unknown author is licensed under CC BY.
Causes of Jealousy continued
Attachment
Preoccupied individuals are more likely to get jealous than Dismissive individuals
Personality
Those with high negative emotionality are more likely
to get jealous than those who are highly agreeable
Evolutionary Views
on Jealousy
Men threatened by sexual infidelity due to the issue of paternal uncertainty
* Thus, when cheated on, men are more likely to ask if sex occurred.
Women threatened by emotional infidelity as this may cause resources and protection to be transferred to another mate.
* Thus, when cheated on, women are
more likely to ask if their partner has
fallen in love with the rival.
* Queer relationships are also more
concerned with emotional infidelity than sexual infidelity
Response to Jealousy
Real/potential loss has two sides:
* Threat/loss of the relationship itself;
and
* Threat/loss of self- concept
supported by the relationship
Response to Jealousy:
Attachment
Securely attached
* Get angry and express it to restore the relationship
Anxious ambivalent
* Get angry and express it indirectly
Avoidant
* Feel sad and avoid the issue at hand or pretend they don’t care
Response to
Jealousy:
Gender
(MAN)
For men:
Jealousy is associated with loss of self-concept
Male reactions
* Get angry with themselves
* Get drunk/high
* Verbally threaten other men
* Feel flattered by other man’s attraction to partner
* Feel sexually attracted to partner
Men are ‘property oriented’ therefore get angry when someone is trying to steal their possession and feel flattered when someone else sees their possession as valuable
Response to Jealousy: Gender
(Women)
For women:
Jealousy associated with the belief that getting another relationship is difficult
F
emale reactions:
* Cry when alone
* Attempt to look more attractive to partner
* Try to make partner believe they don’t care
Women try to preserve the existing relationship
Constructive Coping
e successful outside of the relationship!
One’s sense of self-worth should not be based solely on the success of a
relationship.
If needed, attend therapy to work through feelings and develop a positive sense of self-worth.
