Chapter 9 LECTURE Part 3 Flashcards
in ACKERMEN 2011, they looked at gender differences at love. they approached people on the street and asked:
1) who normally says they’re in love first
2) in a new relationship, who thinks about getting serious first?
- found that 64% of population said that women say they’re in love first, and 84% of population says women think about getting serious first
in AKCERMEN FOLOW UP study, they asked pts who have been in a hetersoezual relationship to think back to a time where love was expressed. Asked them:
1) who says “I love you “ first?
2) at what point of the relationship did their relationship get serious?
- 61% said the man said “I love you first”
- men had thought about getting serious about 42 days sooner than women
- THEREFORE, THERE IS A MISPERCEPTION ABOUT GENDER DIFFERENCES IN LOVE – MEN ARE MORE LIKELY TO HITNK ABOUT LOVE AND AT ON IT/EXPRESS LVOE.
___ are the most passionate gender
MEN
- more likely to say I love you first
- evidence that men suffer more than women when a relationship ens
- more likely to die by suicide when partner ends.
- pattern is more likely to pull away rather than reach out for support
- know they are in love sooner then women.
____ score higher on romantic belief scales. indicating that they report more ____than do ____.
MEN score higher on romantic belief scales. indicating that they report more PL_than do WOMEN.
- they are more likely to answer yes too uestions like “do you believe in soul mate” and “is there only one parter out here”
women scare higher on __ sclaes
CL scales. more likely to talk about their relationship with their partner using terms of friendship.
do men and women have different love languages if women score higher on CL and men score higher on PL?
no. both give highest ratings gto CL, and give PL lowest ratings of love overall.
they are more simlar than different. both are saying that CL is mostt important – trust and caring.
who is more likely to notice a conflict?
more likely for women to notice
- seen in all fronts: dating, cohabitation, marriage, divorce
t/f in separated couples, women report less happiness prior to divorces than men
true
outline the findings of Rubins Boston Couples Sutdy
- analyzed 200 couples in Boston cooleges
- collected data from both partners over a span of 2 years
FOUND:
- female partners level of dissatisfaction was the major predictor of break ups
- 50% of the couples broke up during the 2 year time period. (mostly the women broke up with the men)
3 reasons as to why female happiness is so important to relationship success/indicative if a relationship will last?
1) awareness of problems: women are socialized to be attuned to the relationship and are more likely to catch problesm
2) better deal: hetero relationships are set up so that it is actually a better deal fro men than for women
- we are still finding that studies show that women work outside of the home, but STILL MANAGE THE HOUSE HOLD. THEY HAVE TWO JOBS.
- men are taken care of, women take care.
- more mothers who work outside of the home are more stressed than men who work outside of the home. Men contribute to child care more recently, but there is still a HUGE home care gap
3) expectations for relationships. there is data showing that when you ask people what they expect, women report HIGHER EXPECTATIONS THAN MEN. - someone to confide in, help, be supported etc. less likely to have expectations fulfilled.
in every relationships, regardless of what kind, ___ report more problems
women report more problems
how do we navigate problems when they arise in relationship? outline the Carol Rusbult Model of responses to conflict in relationship
- when a conflict arise, we have a couple choices:
1) am I gonna do something? or am I gonna do nothing about the problem. - if you decide to do NOTHING: called a PASSIVE RESPONSE
- if you decide to do something: called an ACTIVE response.
- Rusbult model says that passive and active responses are on a continuum
-2) Am i gonna repsond in a positive or negative way?
- positive response= constructive response.
negative réponse = deconstructive repsonse
- BOTH ACT ON A CONTINUUM (SEE CROSS IN NOTES)
- RESPONSES CAN be
1. Exit response: active + destructive – leave the relationships, threaten partner etc.
2. voice response: active + constructive – talking though the issue, figuring out how to solve. also trying to think of ways we can change behaviour to deal with the problem.
3. neglect response – passively allowing relationship to deteriorate, ignoring partner, spending less time etc.
4. loyalty response – passive + constructive. regonzie there is an issue, and you decide that instead of bringing up this issue, I’m just gonna hang in there and hope things improve. I have faith in my partner than this is an issue that might fix itself.
types of responses according to Rusbult’s continuum of conflict response
- Exit response: active + destructive
- voice response: active + constructive
- neglect response passive + destructive
- loyalty repsons: passive + constructive
outline the study done by Dragotas (1995) study to test the validity of Rusbult’s continuum of conflict response
- couples filled out questionnaires on a daily basis for 23 days
- asked to indicate any dissatisfying incident on that day– what made you irritated/ disagreement/made
- asked to indicate how you responded and how your partner responded.
- what the outcome was.
- how did it impact the relationship
FINDINGS: if your or your partners responded with destructive responses to an issue, it did not solve the problem and was damaging to the relationship.
- if you and your partners rpeonded construcitively (VOICE RESPONSE, the problem was able to be solved and the relationship was more positively impacted. researchers initially thought Loyalty response was thought to have improved the problem and the relationship, but it was actually found to have NO EFFECT.
T/F loyalty response to problems in relationships helps to manage problems and enhance the relationship. Why or why not?
false. Loyalty response was thought to have improved the problem and the relationship, but it was actually found to have NO EFFECT.
loyalty has no effect because we think it is hard for us to pick up when someones using loyalty as a problem solving technique. its hard to see the difference between loyalty and neglect. your partner may think you’re just ignoring the issue or avoiding it.
