Chapter 5 Flashcards
T: by pushing one of five buttons with labels ranging from super negative through neutral to super positive. Then, after you speak, your partner quickly rates his or her perception of your message in the same way before replying to you
talk table
The notable point is that if you’re currently …with your relationship, you may not intend to annoy or belittle your lover, but you’re likely to do so, anyway.
unhappy
Unhappy couples don’t differ on average from happy, contented couples in what they are trying to say to each other, but the impact of their messages—what their partners think they hear—is more critical and disrespectful nonetheless
This single afternoon at the talk table predicts how happy the two of you will be later on; spouses whose communications are frustrating will be less happily married … years later
5
There is often a discrepancy—an …—between what the sender intends to say and what the listener thinks he or she hears.
interpersonal gap (sender’s intentions differ from the effect on the receiver.)
getting from one person’s intentions to the impact of that person’s message on a listener involves …
several steps at which error and misunderstanding may occur
interpersonal gaps occur more amount strangers than among close couples
f such gaps are actually more likely to occur in close relationships than they are among strangers
such gaps are actually more likely to occur in close relationships than they are among strangers why
We don’t expect our partners to misunderstand us, so we don’t work as hard as we do with strangers to check that we’re on the same page.
Would you be able to tell what sort of cap you have on by watching others’ reactions to you?
Even if no one mentions your cap, others’ behavior may clearly indicate that they don’t like what they see. In fact, because you’d be curious and alert to how others responded, their sentiments might be unmistakably plain.
Functions of Nonverbal Behavior in Relationships 5 categories
proving info
- regulating interaction
- defining the nature of the relationship
- interpersonal influence
- impression management
T: A person’s behavior allows others to make inferences about his or her intentions, feelings, traits, and meaning
providing information
T: Nonverbal behavior provides cues that regulate the efficient give-and-take of smooth conversations and other interactions
regulating interaction
T: The type of partnership two people share may be evident in their nonverbal behavior
defining the nature of the relationship
T: Goal-oriented behavior designed to influence someone else
interpersonal influence
T: Nonverbal behavior that is managed by a person or a couple to create or enhance a particular image
interpersonal influence
why did we have to invent emojis what function of nonverbal
providing information
One clue to the enormous power of nonverbal communication is the number of different channels through which information can be transmitted what are 7
facial expressions, gazing behavior, body movement, touch, interpersonal distances, smells, and paralanguage
are emotional facial expressions universal? which ones
happiness sadness, fear, anger, disgust, surprise, and contempt—engenders a unique facial expression that’s the same all over the world
people learn to smile when they are happy
f even the blind do it
The bigger the smiles college students posted during their first semester at school, the …2`
more satisfied they were with their social lives and their college careers when they were seniors 4 years later
the smiles people display in their college yearbooks predict their chances of being divorced later in life; what does it tell us
compared to those with the biggest smiles, those who smile least are about 5 times more likely to divorce someday
the fuller and more genuine the smiles major league baseball players exhibited in their team photos in 1952, what effect later on …
longer their lives have been
Happy expressions are clearly correlated with …, and in some respects, a forecast of your future may be available to everyone you meet
success in life
who are we better at judging the facial expressions of
We do a little better identifying emotions that are expressed by others from our own cultural groups than we do in recognizing the expressions of people from elsewhere in the world
American college students can recognize happiness, sadness, anger, disgust, and surprise in how much time
three-quarters of a second or less
So, the universal meanings of facial expressions make them extremely informative—when they’re …
authentic
T: cultural norms that dictate what emotions are appropriate in particular situations
display rules
why do people hide their true emotions in their facial expressions
display rules
There are at least four ways we may try to modify our expressions of emotion to follow these display rules
intensity our expressions
minimize our expressions
neutralize our expressions
mask
Good poker players try to do this so that they give no hint of what their cards may be what are they doing with emotions
neutralize (trying to withhold our true feelings altogether)
T: replacing them with an entirely different apparent emotion
masking our feelings
leaking emotions: Genuine smiles contract the muscles around our eyes, causing them to crinkle, but only about … of us activate those muscles when we’re faking a smile
a quarter
leaking emotions: despite our efforts, authentic flashes of real emotion, or …, can be visible during momentary lapses of control
microexpressions
how do our eyes give away when we find someone hot
our pupils dilate when we’re looking at something that interests us
we don’t pick up on pupil differences in someones interest for us
f when others are looking at us with large pupils, we tend to assume that they are more aroused and sexually available than we would judge them to be with smaller pupils
how do the eyes give away emotions
pupil dilation
gazing
dominance
Gazing also helps define the relationship two people share once interaction begins.
Lovers really do spend more time looking at each other than friends do
when strangers spend time gazing into each other’s eyes, they end up liking each other more than they would have if they’d spent the time together looking someplace else why
A lot of looking can evidently communicate affection as well as simple interest.
people usually look at their conversational partners more when they’re listening (gazing at the speaker about .. percent of the time, on average) than when they’re speaking (looking at the listener about … percent of the time)
60
40
how do dominant people gaze
powerful, high-status people tend to depart from these norms—they look more while speaking but less while listening than the average person doe
T: that compares “look-speak” (the percentage of time a speaker gazes at a listener) to “look-listen.”
visual dominance ratio
A high-power pattern of gazing turns the typical ratio of 40/60 on its head, producing a high VDR of 60/40
problem with body gestures
The problem with gestures is that, unlike facial expressions, they vary widely from culture to culturet
The language of the face needs no interpreter, but that’s not true of the language of gestures.
t
how do we communicate with body movement
gestures
posture
motion of body
touch
that moves the way you do when you’re dancing, and if others watch the figure for 15 seconds, they’ll get a sense of your …
style
men who are judged to be good dancers by women tend to be more …3 than guys who dance badly. So, in short, they’re more desirable mates
agreeable, conscientious, and extraverted
how should you pose on tinder pictures
Both the men and the women attracted more interest when they adopted an open, expansive posture—indicative of self-confidence and status—like the one on the left.
how do High-status people tend to have what posture
adopt open, asymmetric postures in which the two halves of the body assume different positions (Cuddy, 2015). They take up a lot of space
People with firm, full, long handshakes tend to be more …3, than people with wimpy handshakes are
extraverted and open to experience, and less neurotic
the U.S. Armed Forces maintained a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy toward the sexual orientation of their personnel why did this not work
Nonverbal channels of information allow attentive observers to assess the orientations of others very quickly with reasonable accuracy.
A 10-second video of a person’s body movements is all observers need to make correct judgments 72 percent of the time of sexual orientation what did they see that gave it away
Heterosexual men tend to swagger, swinging their shoulders when they walk, and heterosexual women tend to sway, moving their hips. People whose behavior includes the motions that are typical of the other sex are likely to be judged to be homosexual, and those perceptions are often correct
people who get a glimpse of men’s faces that lasts for only half a second can accurately judge whether they are gay or straight about 60 percent of the time, and they do almost as well when the faces are turned upside down what gave it away
gay men tend to have shorter, rounder noses and more feminine faces than straight men do
are the gay straight tells cross-cultural
t
Positive, supportive feelings such as love (how do you touch) and sympathy (…) engender touches that are quite different from those that communicate disgust (…) or anger (…)
which, for instance, might lead you to stroke someone’s arm
with you patting it
pushing
hitting
(health benefits) Loving touches are actually good for our health: Kissing your partner more often can …, affectionate touch from your partner ….., and getting a lot of hugs makes it ….
reduce your cholesterol
reduces your production of stress hormones
less likely that you’ll catch a cold
One aspect of touching that makes it momentous is that …
people have to be near each other for touching to occur
T: the physical space that separates two people—that is usually reserved for relatively intimate interactions
interpersonal distance
T: extends out from the front of our chests about a foot-and-a-half
interpersonal zone
if 2 people are standing in interpersonal zone they are very loving
or hostile
T: ranges from 1½ to 4 feet away from us
personal zone
T: (4 to 12 feet), interactions tend to be more businesslike
social zone
T: Beyond 12 feet, interactions tend to be quite formal
public zone
eg of public zone
teacher student
how does western world interpersonal distances compare to rest of world
These distances describe the general patterns of interactions among North Americans, but they tend to be larger than those used by many other peoples of the world
what influences interpersonal distance
sex (men larger) status (stand far from high status) culture
how does distance influence marriage
Spouses who are unhappy keep larger distances between each other than do spouses who are currently content
Different emotions cause people to emit different …, from their bodies
chemicals, or chemosignals
When people are exposed to the armpit odors of others they feel disgust
f who are happy, they feel happier, too
why are people without smell at a disadvantage
Smells carry information, so perhaps it should be no surprise that people who were born without a sense of smell are at an interpersonal disadvantage; such men, for example, have only one-fifth as many sexual relationships during their lives as normal men do
T: includes all the variations in a person’s voice other than the actual words he or she uses, such as rhythm, pitch, loudness, and rate
paralanguage
paralanguage doesn’t involve what people say, but …
how they say it
If you wanted to show someone with just a brief sound that you were scared, or angry, or sad, could you do it? How about relieved, amused, or awed?
most can all around world
how does mens pitch differ for friends vs lovers
When they start a phone call by saying “how are you?,” men use a lower pitch with their lovers than with their friends, but women use a higher pitch
listeners who hear brief clips of simultaneous laughter (but nothing else) taken from the conversations of various couples can tell with … percent accuracy whether the two people are friends or strangers who have just met how do they differ
61
Friends sound more spontaneous and relaxed, with shorter bursts of laughter that have more irregular volumes and pitch
Women like their men to have …
deep, low-pitched voices
do voices actually tell us what a man is like
are a cue to a partner’s mate value because people with appealing voices tend to have alluring faces and bodies, too
if you listen to tapes of a variety of women counting from 1 to 10 at various times during their menstrual cycles, you’ll hear …
that a woman’s voice becomes more attractive just before she ovulates each month (effects of her changing hormones on her larynx, and it doesn’t happen in women who are on the pill)
Most of the time, our nonverbal behavior communicates the same message as our words, and we like people better when that’s the case what tells the truth when discrepant
nonverbal
how does imitation influence liking
increases it
it seems to be rewarding to be met with nonverbal behavior from others that resembles our own
how could high tech advertising influence us
but they attributed more positive traits to the avatar and were more convinced by its argument when it duplicated their own actions than when it behaved like someone else
it can be surprisingly stressful to interact with someone who does not imitate us at all
t
Husbands and wives who do poorly at reading their partners nonverbal tend to be dissatisfied with their marriages, and, moreover, when such problems occur, it’s usually … fault
the husband’s fault
Well, when nonverbal exchanges fail, there may be errors in …
encoding or decoding, or both
women are better at what part of nonverbal exchange
Women typically start with an advantage at both tasks because, if no deception is involved, women are both better encoders and more astute decoders than men are on average
Men and women don’t differ in their abilities to detect deception
t
is women’s intuition real
yes women tend to attentively use subtle but real nonverbal cues to discern what’s going on
is women’s intuition real
yes women tend to attentively use subtle but real nonverbal cues to discern what’s going on
