chapter 4 Flashcards
T: processes of perception, interpretation, belief, and memory with which we evaluate and understand ourselves and other people
social cognition
What we think helps to determine what we …, and then how we …
feel
act
our first impressions only effect us until we meet them again
f the initial impressions the students formed continued to influence their feelings about each other 10 weeks later
is our bias to listen to our first impressions false
some first impressions last because they are discerning and correct. On the other hand, first impressions can be remarkably persistent even when they’re erroneous
That’s all it takes—only … milliseconds1—for us to determine whether a stranger’s face looks angry
39
After more patient deliberation lasting one-tenth of a second, we have formed judgments of a stranger’s …3 that are the same as those we hold after a minute’s careful inspection of the person’s face
attractiveness, likeability, and trustworthiness
after watching the stranger chat with someone of the other sex for only 5 seconds, we’ve decided how …3 he or she is
extraverted, conscientious, and intelligent
Our snap judgments are influenced by the fact that everyone we meet …
fits some category of people about whom we already hold stereotyped first impressions.
The judgments that result are often quite incorrect, but they’re hard to avoid: why
Stereotypes influence us automatically, Page even when we are unaware of using them
what can someones shoes tell you
insight into others’ age, gender, income, and even anxiety about abandonment from nothing more than a picture of their shoes
We tend to assume that men with high facial width-to-height ratios—whose faces are wide and short—are more likely to be prejudiced than those whose faces are narrower and taller but this assumption is incorrect
f correct
With a quick glance at a politician’s face, we’re also fairly good at judging whether he is conservative or liberal
t
if a man has a wide mouth, we tend to assume that he’s a …
good leader. (which is correct)
If we do interact with someone, we stop jumping to conclusions.
f continue to
the two descriptions offer the same information in a different order, and that’s enough to engender two different impressions what effect does this illustrate
primacy effect
what is the primacy effect
tendency for the first information we receive about others to carry special weight, along with our instant impressions and our stereotypes, in shaping our overall impressions of them.
when guessing if rich or poor guess how well Hannah was doing in school they assumed rick Hannah did better
f both the same
how did they interpret Hannahs failure in rick vs poor
People who thought that Hannah was poor cited her mistakes and judged her as performing below average whereas those who thought she was rich noted her successes and rated her as considerably better than average.
first impressions affect our interpretations of the subsequent information we encounter about others. They also affect our choices of the …
new information we seek
They seek information that will prove them right more often than they look for examples that would prove them wrong :T
confirmation bias
imagine that you’re instructed to interview a fellow student to find out if he or she is a sociable extravert, and you’re handed a list of possible questions to ask what do people choose
you’d select questions that probe for evidence that your expectation is correct. (when researchers asked some people to find out if a stranger was extraverted, but asked others to find out if the person was introverted)
the problem with confirmatory biases is that …
they elicit one-sided information about others that fits our preconceptions—and as a result, we too rarely confront evidence that shows that our first impressions are wrong.
not only may we cling to snap judgments that are incorrect, but we’re also often overconfident
hinking that we’re more accurate than we really are and making more mistakes than we realize :T
overconfident
how did relationship development influence accuracy of STI history knowledge and confidence
They were overconfident when a new relationship began, and as the relationship developed, they only got worse
With greater familiarity, they became more certain that they understood their new partners well, but their accuracy did not change
When we meet others for the first time, …2 influence our interpretations of the behavior we observe. …2 may follow.
stereotypes and primacy effects
Confirmation biases and overconfidence
existing beliefs are influential at what stage of our relationships
at every stage of a relationship, and when it comes to our friends and lovers, we may see what we want to see and hold confident judgments that aren’t always right
does your roommate you or your mom know more about the future success of your relationship
the parents made better predictions than the students did, and the roommates did better still even though less confident
why are students the worst predictors of their own relationships
focused on the strengths of their partnerships and ignored the weaknesses, and as a result, they confidently and optimistically predicted that the relationships would last longer than they usually did
the most accurate predictions of all regarding the future of a heterosexual relationship often come from …
the friends of the woman involved
how does hand temp influence perception of a person
Warm hands lead research participants to think warmer thoughts about a stranger than cool hands do
how did sitting at a wobbly table change mate perception
increase your desire for stability (such as trustworthiness and reliability)
2 lessons from warm hands and shaky table experiments
our impressions of others can be shaped by a variety of influences, and some of them have nothing to do with the person who’s being judged. Second, the people in these studies were completely unaware that current conditions were swaying their judgments.= We don’t always know why we hold the opinions we do, and on occasion, our impressions of others are unwarranted.
we’re often … to adopt the perspectives we use, and we facilitate or inhibit our satisfaction with our partners by the choices we make.
choosing
What we usually get, however, is something less. How, then, do we ever stay happy with the real people we attract?
One way is to construct charitable, generous perceptions of our partners that emphasize their virtues and minimize their faults. People often judge their lovers with positive illusions that portray their partners in the best possible light
our positive illusions cause us to ignore a partner’s faults
f ; they just consider them to be circumscribed
They have all the facts, but they interpret them differently than everyone else
partners judge their partners more positively than they judge themselves
t
partners judge their partners more positively than they judge themselves
t
Isn’t it a little dangerous to hold a lover in such high esteem?
If we’re genuinely fooling ourselves, imagining desirable qualities in a partner that he or she does not possess, we may be dooming ourselves to disillusionment
if we’re aware of all the facts but are merely interpreting them in a kind, benevolent fashion, such “illusions” can be very beneficial
WHY ARE POSITIVE ILLUSIONS GOOD
When we idealize our partners, we’re predisposed to judge their behavior in positive ways, and we are more willing to commit ourselves to maintaining the relationship
And we can slowly convince our partners that they actually are the wonderful people we believe them to be because our high regard improves their self-esteem= GREATER SATISFACTION
In addition, there’s a clever way in which we protect ourselves from disillusionment: …
Over time, as we come to know our partners well, we tend to revise our opinions of what we want in an ideal partner so that our standards fit the partners we’ve got
T: The explanations we generate for why things happen—and in particular why a person did or did not do something. identifies the causes of an event, emphasizing the impact of some influences and minimizing the role of others
attributions
what are the 2 main attributions we make
internal vs external
students who do well on exams typically attribute their success to external causes
f internal
The causes of events may also be rather …, as our abilities are, or …, such as moods that come and go.
stable and lasting
unstable and transient
3 ways attributions are different
stable or transient
controllable uncontrollable
internal external
Nevertheless, three broad patterns routinely emerge from studies of attributions in relationships what are they
- despite their intimate knowledge of each other, partners are affected by robust actor/observer effects
- partners are also likely to display self-serving biases
T: They generate different explanations for their own behavior than they do for the similar things they see their partners do
actor/ observer effects
This bias is so pervasive that two people in almost any interaction are reasonably likely to agree about what each of them did but to disagree about why each of them did it what is the bias
People are often acutely aware of the external pressures that have shaped their own behavior, but they overlook how the same circumstances affect others
in an argument each is likely to believe that the other sees things his or her way
t
how to minimize but cant vanish the actor observer?
When partners make a conscious effort to try to understand the other’s point of view, the actor/observer discrepancy gets smaller
to assume that even your closest partners seldom comprehend all your reasons for doing what you do
in which they readily take credit for their successes but try to avoid the blame for their failures :T
self serving bias
One quality that makes this phenomenon interesting is that most of us readily recognize overreaching ownership of success and flimsy excuses for failure when they come from other people, but we think that our own similar, self-serving perceptions are sensible and accurate- why
we are aware of—and we give ourselves credit for—our own good intentions, even when we fail to follow through on them, but we judge other people only by what they do, not what they may have intended to do
loving partners are less self-serving toward each other than they are with other people
t but Nevertheless, self-serving biases exist even in contented relationships
how do self serving biases operate in arguments
when they fight with each other, spouses tend to believe that the argument is mostly their partner’s fault
the general pattern of a couple’s attributions helps determine how satisfied they will be with their relationship - how does this influence attributions
Happy people make attributions for their partners’ behavior that are relationship enhancing. Positive actions by the partner are judged to be intentional, habitual, and indicative of the partner’s fine character; that is, happy couples make controllable, stable, and internal attributions for each other’s positive behavior. They also tend to discount one another’s transgressions, seeing them as accidental, unusual, and circumstantial; thus, negative behavior is excused with attributions to external, unstable, and uncontrollable causes.
Unhappy people make …attributions that regard a partner’s negative actions as deliberate and routine and positive behavior as unintended and accidental.
distress-maintaining
where does the distress-maintaining self-defeating pattern come from?
attachment style paticularly high anxiety about abandonment
we cant update vivid memories
f best we can (a mix of what happened then and what we know now.)
Psychologists use the term /// to describe the manner in which our memories are continually revised and rewritten as new information is obtained.
reconstructive memory
pros and cons of reconstructive memory in relationships
The good news is that by misremembering their past, partners can remain optimistic about their future
These tricks of memory help us adjust to the situations we encounter, but they often leave us feeling that our relationships have always been more stable and predictable than they really were—and that can promote damaging overconfidence.
by remembering recent improvement in their partnerships that has not occurred, people remain happier than they might otherwise
t couples do this continuously despite no changes
T: which are broad assumptions about whether, when, and under what circumstances we should marry that are accompanied by beliefs about what it’s like to be married
marital paradigms
T: the view that love should be the most important basis for choosing a mate
romanticism
People who are high in romanticism believe that …3
(a) each of us has only one perfect, “true” love; (b) true love will find a way to overcome any obstacle; and (c) love is possible at first sight
romantic people have better relationships
romantic people experience more love, satisfaction, and commitment in the first few months of their romantic partnerships than unromantic people do—but these beliefs tend to erode as time goes by bcs expectations cannot be met
Certain beliefs that people have about relationships are dysfunctional; what does this mean
that is, they appear to have adverse effects on the quality of relationships, making it less likely that the partners will be satisfied
what are 6 dysfunctional beliefs
disagreements are destructive mind reading is essential partners cannot change sex should be perfect always men and women are different great relationships just happen
T: 6 dysfunctional beliefs
destiny beliefs because they assume that two people are either well suited for each other and destined to live happily ever after, or they’re not
why are destiny beliefs bad
inflexible and no effort exerted
T: good relationships are believed to develop gradually as the partners work at surmounting challenges and overcoming obstacles, and a basic presumption is that with enough effort, almost any relationship can succeed.
growth beliefs
People with different styles are thought to have different “…” of relationships; they hold different beliefs about what relationships are like, expect different behavior from their partners, and form different judgments of what their partners do
mental models
In general, then, people with secure styles are more …3 in their judgments of others than insecure people are.
generous, optimistic, and kindly
if positive experiences in a rewarding relationship help us gradually develop a more relaxed and trusting outlook on intimacy with others, we may slowly forget that we ever felt any other way. why
because no matter what style people have, they tend to remember the past as being consistent with what they’re thinking now
When relationship beliefs are wrong, they may stay wrong.
t
T: which are false predictions that become true because they lead people to behave in ways that make the erroneous expectations come true.
self fulfilling prophecies
As a first step in a self-fulfilling prophecy, a person whom we’ll call the perceiver forms an …
expectancy about someone else—the target—that predicts how the target will behave
