chapter 12 Flashcards
90 percent of young women and 87 percent of young men said they believed that dating partners should have what proportion of power
“exactly equal say” in the relationship
T: the ability to influence or change the thoughts, feelings, or behavior of others to suit our purposes and to resist their influence on us
social power or power
There are different ways to analyze social power, but a foremost perspective is that of …
interdependence theory
From an interdependency perspective, power is based on …
the control of valuable resources or access to them
T: If your partner loves and needs you more than you love him or her, you’ll get to do what you want more often than not.
principle of lesser interest
how do CL alt influence power
being more dependent means having less power.
differences in available alternatives may be one reason that men are typically more powerful than women in traditional marriages. why 2
they may encounter larger numbers of other potential partners, and second, they’re more likely to have the money to pursue them if they wish
There are two more points to make about the interdependence perspective on power. First, interdependence theory recognizes two different broad types of power.
fate control or behaviour control
T: One can autocratically determine what outcomes a partner receives, thereby controlling what will happen to the other
fate control
by changing one’s own behavior, one encourages a partner to alter his or her actions in a desirable direction, too.
behaviour control
If a woman offers to provide a special backrub if her partner cleans the garage, she’s engaging in …
behaviour control vs fate would be if women refuses to have sex and she is only option
one partner’s power over the other will be matched by the other’s counterpower over the one, so that both partners ….
are able to get each other to do what they want some of the time.
So, power is based on the resources we control—but what kinds of resources are involved? 6
reward, coercive, legitimate, expert, informational
T: when our partners believe that we have a reasonable right to tell them what to do, and they have an obligation to comply
LEGITIMATE POWER
T: refer to a person’s ability to bestow various rewards and punishments on someone else
reward or coercive power
a wife is supposed not only to love and honor him, but to obey him as well, doing whatever he asks what kind of power
legitimate
This form of legitimate power comes from being in a position of authority, but potent social norms can also impart legitimate power to requests that come from anyone what 3 norms
equity, reciprocity and social responsibility
T: over our partners when they adore us and wish to do what we want because they feel connected to us
referent power
T: exists when our partners recognize our superior knowledge and experience and are influenced by us because we know more than they do
expert power
T: when we have specific pieces of information that influence our partners’ behavior; our partners may do what we want if we offer to share a juicy bit of gossip with them.
informational power
In no known societies do women dominate men. In all societies that accumulate wealth, men, on average, enjoy more power than women, on average, and this appears to have been true throughout human history
t
Heterosexual couples who seek to share power equally are swimming upstream against long-standing tradition, and there are three reasons for this.
- men and women generally face a disparity in relative resources
- Social norms support and maintain male dominance
- We’re not sure what it looks like
men and women make the same as men today
f but in about two-thirds of American marriages, he still makes more money than she does
Theorists describe some resources (such as money) as … and others (such as love) as …
universalistic (exchange with anyone)
particularistic (valuable in some but not all situations
We expect husbands to be less satisfied with their marriages when they have lower professional status than their wives
t
Americans actually tend to think that women have skills that should make them more effective leaders than men so why don’t they have more power
legitimate power still seems “unladylike” to some people
Americans tend to prefer that their surgeons, lawyers, and airline pilots be men rather than women (Morin & Cohn, 2008). Women are preferred as elementary school teachers.
… suggests that it’s ordinary and natural for men to make more money and to be in charge most of the time
cultural tradition
men and women do different tasks around the house so is their time measured +ly?
f that division of labor cannot possibly value wives’ and husbands’ time equally:
The wives’ duties are constant, and the husbands’ are intermittent
whereas an American woman does 18 hours of housework each week, on average, a man does only …
10
who makes decisions about fundamental, central decisions regarding the relationship
men
Wives do control most household routines, but because their husbands
t but are more likely to get their way when it really matters, the husbands are more powerful
when women’s disadvantage in relative resources is erased these disparities =
f just lesser extent
e.g. wives with higher incomes do a smaller proportion of the household chores, but they still do most of them
men often have a lot of coercive power why
due to their typically larger size and greater strength
why does coercive power not work
partners who are coerced are actually less compromising than they would have been had gentler power been employed
compared to the rest of us, they tend to think that they can control events that are uncontrollable, such as the outcome of a roll of some dice who
powerful people
powerful people do what they want
t
If you ask powerful people to quickly draw an “E” on their foreheads, they are much more likely than people of low power to draw the letter as if they were reading it
t
how does power influence mate value
People who are randomly assigned to lead work groups in lab studies expect that their subordinates will find them sexually interesting, and if they approve of casual sex, they both judge their subordinates to be more sexually available and stage more flirtatious interactions with them than those of lesser power do
powerful people more cheating
t
how do they view their cheating
powerful people judge others’ moral transgressions more harshly than their own, so that, compared to less powerful people, they’re more strict in condemning others’ cheating while cheating more often themselves
problems of low power
Those who find themselves in positions of low power suffer more depression, behave more cautiously, and Page 368timidly fear more punishment than powerful people do
ways power is expressed
conversation, nonverbal behaviour, nonverbal sensitivity, styles of power
women tend not to speak to men with the same implicit strength and power that they display toward other women how is this shown
allow more interruptions
what nonverbal do powerful people use
powerful people use larger interpersonal distances, display more intense facial expressions, and assume postures that are less symmetrical and that take up more space than those of people who are less powerful
powerful positions are also considered more…
masculine
those who assume more space may feel more powerful; how does it impact them
male or female, their testosterone levels rise, and they take bolder risks in a gambling game
a person’s nonverbal sensitivity also has something to do with how powerful and dominant he or she is how
Powerful people recognize emotion in others’ voices and facial expressions less acccurately than those with lower power do.
how is nonverbal sensitivity adaptive to subordinates
subordinates can increase their own (limited) power when they carefully monitor their supervisors’ moods
in being adept users of …, women gain valuable information that can make them more pleasing partners and that can increase their influence over men
nonverbal communication
Just what strategies, then, do men and women use in their efforts to influence each other? 2
Their efforts to influence their partners were overt and direct, and their preferences were plain. On other occasions, however, people’s actions were more indirect; they hinted at what they wanted or pouted when their wishes were unfulfilled
which power strat= satisfaction
the more satisfied people were with their relationships, the more likely they were to use direct strategies
they feel safe enough to be honest and forthright with their partners or indirect could be result of individual errors in getting what they want= chicken egg
themes that distinguish power styles
direct vs indirect
bilateral vs unilateral
people sought cooperation or collaboration from their partners, and their strategies were …., involving both members of the couple
bilateral
people took independent … action, doing what they wanted without involving their partners.
unilateral
people who reported that they were more powerful than their partners said that they frequently used unilaterial strategies
f bilateral
How do such negotiations proceed? condom use
The most common strategy is a direct one= good approach
condom: In most cases, though, the partner who is … gets what he or she wants
less committed to the relationship= lesser interest
just going ahead and putting a condom on without stating it is a good approach
t Without saying a word, you can demonstrate that condom use is expected and appreciated.
how do people who don’t want to wear condom express interest
when people don’t want to use a condom, they usually don’t mention their preference
gays and lesbians employed similar strategies, but there were differences in the strategies used by heterosexual men and women what did heterosexual do
women = unilateral and indirect men opposite
when they were dealing with their romantic partners, heterosexual men tended to use styles of influence that are characteristic of people who are satisfied and powerful whereas women adopted styles typically used by those who are powerless and discontent.
t
wome use direct strategies just as often as men do today
t (more success)
Each new generation of American women is higher in …—that is, decisiveness and assertiveness—than the one before
instrumentality
Men probably have less automatic authority in their intimate relationships than they used to, is this bad for them?
f Disparities in power are linked to lower satisfaction in close relationship
unfair partnerships are obvious
f partnership seeming fair or even entirely equal when in reality he has more influence than she does
wives agree more with their husbands’ answers, if the men answer the questions first, than husbands agree with their wives when their wives go first—but not when women have more informational power
f and this occurs even when the wives earn higher salaries and are more expert on the issues
who wins when power is shared
Women are a lot happier when they’re Page 373as powerful as their husbands, and notably, their husbands are a little happier, too
power itself is inherently undesirable
f not but imbalances of power can be
Indeed, when people adopt communal orientations3 in committed romantic relationships, they typically use their power for the …
benefit of their partners and their relationships, not for selfish ends
they display concern for the welfare of their partners, and they use their influence to enhance the other’s well-being as well as their own
power corrupts
f Kind, loving people use their power charitably and magnanimously
T: when we behave in a manner that is intended to do physical harm to others
violence
intimate violence is rare
f one of every four women (24 percent) and one in seven men (14 percent) in America have encountered severe physical violence
partner violence is higher in the US
f rates of such violence are even higher elsewhere in the world
30 percent of the world’s women have been assaulted by a domestic partner, with the highest rates of such victimization—37 percent—occurring in Africa, the Middle East, and Southeast Asia.
When a couple has a history of …, rates of violence are higher still.
angry disputes and psychological aggression
psychological aggression is rare
f occurs in most relationships
verbal aggression seems less worrisome to most of us than physical violence does
t
there are three major, distinct types of violence in romantic couples, and they spring from different sources what are the 3
situational couple violence
intimate terrorism (or IT)
violent resistance
T: It occurs when both partners are angry and is tied to specific arguments, so it is only occasional and is usually mild, being unlikely to escalate into serious, life-threatening forms of aggression.
situational couple violence
T: one partner uses violence as a tool to control and oppress the other. The physical force and coercion that occurs in intimate terrorism may be just one tactic in a general pattern of threats, isolation, and economic subordination
intimate terrorism (or IT)
5 facets of intimate terrorism
isolation, intimidation, economic abuse, emotional abuse, minimizing
in which a partner forcibly fights back against intimate terrorism. least common :T
violent resistance
violence resistance is a pattered response
f When IPV occurs, it is usually situational couple violence, occasionally intimate terrorism, and only sometimes violent resistance
gender dif in 3 types of violence
men and women are equally likely to engage in hotheaded, impulsive situational couple violence, but intimate terrorism is disproportionately authored by men women more resistance
women engage in less intimate violence than men do
t that women direct just as much (Bates & Graham-Kevan, 2016) or even more (Nicholls & Hamel, 2015) physical violence at their partners than men do
what gender dif in physical violence then
severity= men do more damage (rape murder)
T: we work to regulate and control our partners’ access to potential rivals, and vice versa.
mate guarding
The ability to do harm to one’s partner is a form of coercive power, and … people sometimes use the threat of (more) physical punishment to control their partner’s behavior.
jealous
how is violence related to mate guarding
violence is just one element in a web of control. For instance, men who threaten their partners into remaining faithful also tend to engage in verbal abuse
why do we think men are more violent
stereotypes, sampling, women use indirect aggression (not violence)
women can be just as violent as men, but they are … and less likely to …
use violence as a tool in an ongoing pattern of domination and influence
less likely to cause severe injuries
Most acts of violence in close relationships result from impetuous, impulsive failures of … (that’s SCV), but some violence is ….(and that’s IT).
self-control
part of a program of ruthless subjugation of one’s partner
A useful model of situational couple violence, the … model created by Eli Finkel (2014), organizes influences on SCV
I3 (or “I-cubed”)
3 Is?
instigating triggers that cause one or both partners to be frustrated or on edge, impelling influences that make it more likely that the partners will experience violent impulses, and inhibiting influences that encourage the partners to refrain from acting on those impulses.
When we’ve been angry, most of us have experienced violent impulses
t , but most of us didn’t act on them
Finkel (2008) suggested that both impelling and inhibitory influences could be …4
distal, dispositional, relational, or situational.
… influences emerge from one’s background; they include cultural norms, economic conditions, and family experiences.
Distal
… influences include personality traits and long-standing beliefs.
Dispositional
… influences involve the current state of the couple’s relationship
Relational
… influences include the immediate circumstances
situational
instigator can be anything but A particularly potent instigator, though, is …
verbal or physical abuse from one’s partner: People are especially likely to become antagonistic when their partners curse or hit them first
which influence is men who adhere to traditional gender roles
dispositional
Some of the personal characteristics that predispose people to violence are … that may be comparatively easy to change
attitudes
The most troublesome mismatch pairs a man who’s …
high in avoidance of intimacy with a woman who is anxious about abandonment
…counteract aggressive urges.
inhibiting influences
cultural inhibitors
Violence is less likely in cultures that promote gender equality (Herrero et al., 2017) and that are enjoying economic prosperity
dispositional inhibitors
conscientious people are less likely than others to aggress when they’re angry
self control
problem solving skills
teenagers in North Carolina who were low in self-control perpetrated … times more violent acts against their dating partners than those who were high in self-control
.seven-and-a-half
spouses are less violent, on average, than cohabiting couples are why
commitment
the various influences we’ve touched on here appear to operate similarly in both marriages and dating relationships, and in heterosexual and same-sex partnerships as well
t other than commitment
when do relatively small provocations may be enough to elicit intimate violence
when inhibiting influences are very weak
If IPV happens once, will it happen again?
yes
only … percent of those who had been violent in one romantic relationship were violent again within the next 5 years in a different, second relationship
30
most people who engaged in SCV—sometimes because they were fighting back after their partners threw the first punch—did not continue to be violent once they changed partners
t
when does violence recur
once violence starts in a particular relationship, it tends to recur ( especially true of the more chronic, even more dangerous form of IPV: intimate terrorism)
what sparks IT compared to SCV
Intimate terrorism seems to be rooted in influences that are more enduring than those that may trigger SCV
people who terrorize their partners coming from two camps….
Some of them may resort to violence because they are rather clumsy and pathetic, and threats of harm are their wretched efforts to keep their partners from leaving. Others seem to be more malevolent; they are antisocial or narcissistic, and violence is just another tool with which to get what they want
how do male IVs become that way
They have often witnessed violent conflict between their parents and have been sexually abused themselves
growing up in homes that taught them traditional gender roles and rather hostile, misogynistic attitudes
do they show IV right away
engage in more surveillance and violence than most men even when a relationship has just begun
why more IV in low SE
This set of surly attitudes is often combined with feelings of inadequacy that make violence seem to be one of the terrorist’s few resources of power
what is the cycle of violence
intimate aggression is transmitted from one generation to the next
is the cycle inevitable
f makes more likely to occur but many never do
what is masculinity of violent men like
they “often feel, or fear, that they do not measure up to those codes. Attempting to shore up their masculine self-concept, they may try to control others
Do such men even realize that they are being abusive, or do they consider their use of force to be customary treatment of women by men?
All of the men felt that their behavior had been a legitimate response to the disrespect they had faced from their partners, and all mentioned their partners’ provocation as the genesis of their abuse, didn’t want to hurt and thought it was mans role
all the wife beater men expressed regret and remorse about their actions
f only half saw as legitimate
What do women feel in response to such treatment?
They are influenced by romantic norms that encourage them to “forgive and forget” and they labor under cultural norms that blame victims for their difficulties, so they “consistently ask themselves their role in it
women feel …., but they sometimes also … for their partners’ aggression
betrayed
blame themselves
T: intrusive pursuit of someone—often an ex-partner—who does not wish to be pursued
stalking
stalking is repeated, malicious following and harassing of an unwilling target that may include (depending on the state) ….
unwanted phone calls, letters, and text messages, surveillance, and other invasions of privacy that scare those who are pursued
how many states have laws against stalking
all
… percent of American women and … percent of men have been targets of a frightening stalker
16
5
gender dif in stalking
Most of the victims of stalking (75 percent) are women, and their stalkers are usually male
Why do people pursue others who want nothing to do with them?
control over target as revenge
may be bad, mad, or sad
most common relationship with stalker
about half of all stalkers are people who pursue an ex-partner after the end of a romantic relationship, and they generally tend to be insecure, disagreeable, hostile men with low self-esteem who are very sensitive to rejection
how often are stalkers strangers
stalkers are complete strangers to their targets about one-fifth of the time
… of all stalkers are neighbors, co-workers, or other acquaintances such as teachers, bank tellers, or car mechanics, and they often wrongly believe that their victims are interested in them in return
. One-quarter
how often does stalking lead to police or violence
some form of physical violence occurs in about one-third of all cases. The police are consulted half of the time
consequences for victim
hysical injuries are bad enough, but victims may also suffer negative psychological consequences ranging from lowered self-esteem and mistrust of men to depression and post-traumatic stress disorder social costs and less desirable
Why Don’t They All Leave? how many do
only 1/3 stay
43 percent of the participants had left their original partners, either remaining unattached (20 percent) or entering new, nonabusive relationships (23 percent),
23 percent remained with their partners but had successfully ended the violence for at least a year, and
33 percent were still in an abusive relationship, either as victims (25 percent) or as both victims and perpetrators of violence (8 percent).
But why don’t all victims run from their persecutors?
lack of better options(investments, them being good partners when not abusing
fear of worse violence
don’t want to go
Women who have…are sometimes drawn to possessive, controlling men.
high anxiety about abandonment
high anxiety about abandonment why like abusive men
A man’s intrusive jealousy and surveillance reassures an anxious partner that he still cares, and, perversely, the more psychological abuse a woman has encountered in the past, the stronger her preference for abusive men
There are two different broad types of power, ….2
fate control and behavior control.
both partners have some power over each other, with each being able to influence the other some of the time.
t
… power and …. power refer to one’s ability to bestow rewards and punishments, respectively, on someone else
Reward
coercive
Men tend to control more resources than women do, in part because social norms maintain male dominance. The balance of power in close relationships is also affected by the …of resources controlled
universalistic or particularistic nature of the resources one controls.
Violence among intimates is common around the world, and it occurs in …. couples in the United States.
one of every four
Women are violent as often as men
t but men are more likely to inflict injury.
Intimate terrorism is committed by men who are …2
hostile toward women and who are plagued by feelings of inadequacy.
