Attraction, Love, & Communication Flashcards
Attraction
Immediate and
positive emotional
and/or behavioural
response to someone
Physical Attractiveness
- When given a choice, the hotter the better
- Heterosexual men tend to value it more than women (youth,beuty = fertility)
Physical Attractiveness
- Symmetry
- Body size/proportions
- Facial attractiveness
What causes certain characteristics to be
considered attractive?
- Biology
- Culture
Sexual Selection
- Evolution of adaptive traits to increase reproductive advantage
Parental Investment Theory
- Women have greater minimal obligatory investment when having children:
-women are more ‘‘chosier’’
-because when women decide to have a child they have more in the line that man do : they cant move to much,they become infertile (during pregnancy) ,their energy decreses,have to take care of the child while man dont have the same problems (with ejaculation)
Sexual Strategies Theory
- Men and women face different adaptive problems in reproduction
-men : choosing a healthy/fertile womren to reproduce with
-women: needs a partner who is commited and will help provide resources for her and the child ( time,support,money etc)
- As a result, they evolved in different ways to overcome these problems
-Men then look for women who look young and have a hourgless chape,they might want to have as much sex with others so their chances of reproducing becomes higher
-women become choosier,have resources, financial statues, and man who provides assistant , men who look commited
Culture
Historically:
- Female voluptuousness associated with femininity and fertility
- Male muscularity associated with lower class – labourers and farmers
Culture
More recently:
* Femininity → sexuality without the ties of motherhood, career
ex:skinnier
- Masculinity and affluence associated with strength and muscularity
ex:mascular
Male Attractiveness: Physical Attractiveness
- Women rate appearance as less important than men do
- However, women report being more sexually attracted to taller men
-correlated to the preference for males who demonstrate confidence, physical strength, and a powerful bearing
-shorter men are viewed as unattractive for both casual and intended long-term relationships
- Women do have a preference for muscularity (man overstimates how much women like muscularity)
- Women prefer more masculine men during the fertile period(genetics) of the menstrual cycle and more feminine men during other parts of the cycle(nurturance and emotional support)
Female Attractiveness
: Physical Attractiveness
- Men report being more attracted to younger women
- Across 37 cultures, prefer mate who is, on average, 2.5 years younger than them
- Preference of youthful-appearing features: full lips, clear smooth skin, clear eyes, lustrous hair, and good muscle tone
- Larger breasts – signal reproductive maturity and fertility
However, in the United States, women overestimate:
1. men’s preferences for thinness in a mate
2. men’s preferences for large breasts
Female Attractiveness:Waist to Hip Ratio
On average (and in Western cultures, more specifically), a female WHR of 0.7 is rated as most attractive by heterosexual men and lesbians
Health
* Optimal ratio (for general health and fertility):
women: 0.7
men: 0.9
-
Variation among cultures:
China: 0.6
South America and Africa: 0.8 – 0.9 from front; 0.6 from side
Male Attractiveness:Waist to Shoulder Ratio
- ** .75** or lower
- Broad shoulders and muscles perceived to be associated with increased testosterone, masculinity
Facial Symmetry
- **Indicator of genetic fitness(health,)
- Perceptual bias( we just like symetric in general :people,objects etc.)
Facial Sexual Dimorphism
- Theory: preference for traits that best exhibit sexual maturation and reproductive fitness
- For women – big eyes, small nose, small chin, full lips and prominent cheekbones, narrow cheeks, broad
smile - In men – strong jaws and broad foreheads, slightly more feminized and baby faced men are more attractive too
Facial Averaging
faces that are just avarage/common
- theory: non-ordinary fetures might be related to abnormalities in their genetics
Culture vs. Evolution
Culture
* Western beauty ideals are being exported
- Cosmetic surgery industry
The Dark Side: focusing in fitness and beuty
- In cultures where thinness is idealized, people associate being overweight with laziness, softness and weakness
- Still a socially acceptable prejudice
Culture vs. Evolution
—————————– - Mixed messages
- we are obsses with Food
- In Canada more men than women are overweight, but more women than men diet
- Canadian teenagers: 69% of girls would like to lose weight and 54% of boys would like to gain weight
- Eating disorders
Factors Influencing Physical
Attractiveness: Dutton & Aron (1974)
- Male participants crossed either a stable bridge or an unstable one to meet female confederate on the other side
- Female confederate had them look at a picture and make up a story, gave her phone number in case any questions about the study
what was found: is that more men crossed the unstable bridge called back
- Misattribution of arousal
- being scared/arousal made them think they were attraacted to the women
Factors Influencing Physical
Attractiveness: Swami et al. (2010)
personality matters!
- Male subjects viewed female figures ranging from very thin to very large
- Three conditions:
(1) positive personality;
(2)negative personality;
(3) no information - Group 1 rated a much wider range of figures as attractive; opposite effect for group 2
meaning: if u think/hear someone is really nice it makes the variety of their bodies attractive
Factors Influencing Physical
Attractiveness:Germine et al. (2015)
- Twin study (identical/fraternal)
- Rated attractiveness of 200 faces
- Common Preference = 48%
- Individual Preference = 52%
not due to genes but the enviromment
Germine et al. (2015)
The types of environments that are important are not those that are shared by those who grow up in the same family, but are much more subtle and individual, potentially including things such as one’s unique, highly personal experiences with friends or peers, as well as social and popular media.
The Final Word
their is a very big variety in attraction
partner choice
women and man when choosing a sexual partner are **more alike ** then when they are choosing marriage partners
sexual partner: attractivness,attentivness,healthiness and personality are the most important
marriage partner
- women attractiveness,healthness is way less important then for men but attentivness is more important for women then for men
Partner Choice
- Key predictors of partner choice:
Proximity
Mere exposure
Homophily
Similarity
Matching phenomenon
Reciprocal liking
Relationships
1.Proximity
- Greater attraction to those in closer proximity to us - in our immediate surroundings
2.Familiarity
Mere exposure effect: Greater attraction the more exposure
we have to them
true in not liking them also make u hate them more
3.Similarity
- Assortative Mating – the tendency to choose a partner who is similar to oneself on one or more characteristics
- Homophily – tendency to have contact with people equal in social status
- **Ethnicity **– the most consistent similarity for people in relationships (most consistent)
- why?
-people from specific groups live close to eachother(but not always)
What About in Vancouver?
- Canada = 3.9% are in “mixed unions”
- Vancouver = 9.6%
- Conflicting views
- so as ethinic groups increses the marriage between groups increses
Similarity
- Opposites attract =
false - Liking for those similar
to us
Matching Phenomenon
We tend to choose partners who match us in quality
- people will mostly end up with someone who is just as attractive then them
Self-esteem plays a
role
Reciprocal Liking
We like those who like us and we dislike those who dislike us
Speed dating study (Luo & Zhang, 2009)
Love: Sternberg’s triangular theory of love
- intimacy:emotional part of love
- decision/commitment: short term,long term (what makes the relationship last)
- passion: physical attractivness
intimacy is what predicts sexual satisfaction
Love: Sternberg’s triangular theory of love
Intimacy + commitment+ passion = Consummate Love
Intimacy + pasion = romantic love
intimacy + commitment = compassionate love
commitment + passion = fatuous love
love can change over time : most common passionate love > companiote love like in marriages
Love as a Story
Love as a story (Sternberg): what love
should be/is like
- Contains characters, a plot, and a theme
- Some examples of love stories:
War Story – constant fighting, two warriors
Love is a Mystery – ambiguous, mysterious, a partner that you can
never really know
House and Home – home is the centre of the relationship
Garden Story – love needs constant work/tending
people tend to leave/be unhappy relationships when they dont match the stories in their head
Romantic Beliefs
Notion of ‘one true love’
73% Americans believe in soul mate
Romantic beliefs associated with greater risk of relationship collapse
Arranged vs. Love Marriages
- love marriages: satisfaction starts high but go down over time
- arrange marriages: satisfaction start low and increses overtime
Predictors of Long Term Relationship
Satisfaction
communication!
- Feeling loved/appreciated
- Emotional closeness
- Sexual satisfaction (quantity, type, context, etc.)
- Self-disclosure
- Ability to resolve conflict
- Skilled communication (relationship/sex)
- Mindfulness (being present, identifying and communicating emotions)
Communication
Important for romantic relationships, sex included
Poorer communication at the start of a relationship linked to relationship problems (breakup) later on
How to communicate poorly: The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
(Gottman)
- Criticism
-
Contempt
-attacking the other -
Defensiveness
-not accepting responsability - Stonewalling
more likely to divorce
