3Idiots - 3 Flashcards

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1
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O Lord, have mercy.

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2
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Today was Results day. Time to make a deal with God.

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3
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Just save my Electronics. I’ll offer a coconut.

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4
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Sir Snake, bless my Physics. I promise a pint of milk per day.

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5
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O Mother Cow, help me pass… have this grass.

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6
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I vow: No X-rated thoughts of girls in my class…

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7
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Watch over my results.

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8
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God of Wealth, I’ll offer 100/- every month.

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9
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100/- won’t bribe even a traffic cop,

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10
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let alone the Almighty.

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11
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Check from the bottom.

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12
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You are… last.

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13
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And you?

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14
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Second last.

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15
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Rancho?

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16
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Not there.

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17
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My heart sank.

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18
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Not ‘cause our ranks tanked, but ‘cause our friend flunked.

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19
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There’s a mistake. It’s not possible. It’s injustice.

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20
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What’s Silencer howling about?

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21
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He got the second rank.

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22
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Who’s first?

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23
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Rancho.

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24
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Rancho?

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25
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Move aside.

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26
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We learned a lesson in Human Behavior:

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27
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Your friend fails, you feel bad. Your friend tops, you feel worse.

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28
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We were sad. Two others were sadder.

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29
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Ranchoddas Chanchad. Front row. Right of the Director.

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30
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Uday Sinha. Second row. Third seat.

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31
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Alok Mittal. Second row. Fifth seat.

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32
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Sahili Rao. Third row…

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33
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Sir, why this seating according to rank?

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34
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Any problem with that?

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35
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Yes, this grading system is like a caste system.

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36
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A-graders: Masters C-graders: Slaves

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37
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  • It’s not nice, sir. - You have a better idea?
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38
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Yes. Results should not be displayed at all.

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39
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Why publicise someone’s flaws?

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40
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If your iron count is low, will the doctor prescribe tonic…

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41
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or air your report on TV?

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42
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You see, sir?

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43
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So basically, what you are saying is…

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44
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I should personally go to each student’s room

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45
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and whisper in his ears…

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46
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‘You have come first’, ‘You’re second”.

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47
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‘Oh, I’m so sorry, you have failed’.

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48
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No sir, I mean grades create a divide.

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49
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I’ve topped, so I’m next to you.

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50
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My pals came last, they’re in the back corner.

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51
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At least they’re in the corner.

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52
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More time with you, and they’ll be out of the photo.

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53
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They will neither pass, nor get a job.

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54
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They’ll get jobs, sir. There must be some firm that…

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55
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prefers humans to machines.

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56
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They’ll get jobs. I guarantee.

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57
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You guarantee it!

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58
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Bet, sir?

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59
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NAME?

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60
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Even if one of them gets a job in campus interviews…

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61
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shave off my moustache.

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62
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Sir!

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63
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NAME?

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64
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Happy, sir.

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65
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Jackass! Honking to hide your tooting.

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66
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Septic tank! Popping pills again?

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67
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I didn’t do it… Raju?

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68
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This is a familiar stink.

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69
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He’s the sole cause for global warming.

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70
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Toss me your wallet - I’ll buy pants.

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71
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  • Take Chatur’s suit instead. - Don’t touch my suit.
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72
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Rancho’ll recognize you even in underwear.

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73
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  • Where’s this? - If I could read, would I sell peanuts?
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74
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  • He can’t read. - But he can speak.
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75
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Wait. Do you know a Ranchoddas Chanchad?

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76
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Yes, he lives there.

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77
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? Free as the wind was he ?

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78
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? Like a soaring kite was he ?

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79
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? Where did he go… ?

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80
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? let’s find him ?

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81
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NAME?

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82
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  • In the pocket. - Hey, my pants!
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83
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Karl Marx says to share all resources.

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84
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Hey, you’ll give people ideas.

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85
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I want it now!

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86
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What happened?

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87
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Rancho’s father.

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88
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Excuse me, where is Ranchoddas?

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89
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NAME?

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90
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NAME?

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91
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Sorry. We’re looking for Ranchoddas.

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92
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I am Ranchoddas.

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93
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No, I mean… ‘Ranchoddas Shamaldas Chanchad’.

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94
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Ranchoddas Shamaldas Chanchad. That’s me.

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95
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Ranchoddas, take care, son.

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96
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‘Ranchoddas Chanchad’

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97
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Raju

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98
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I’ll be in the Guinness Book for driving Delhi-Shimla in underwear.

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99
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That too, for the wrong guy!

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100
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Same name, same degree, same photo, but a different guy.

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101
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What’s going on?

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102
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How did Silencer get Rancho’s address?

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103
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Good point!

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104
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Hey Chatur, come here.

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105
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How dare you open this? I got this from San Francisco.

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106
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Handmade biscuits.

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107
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Specially for Mr. Phunsukh Wangdu.

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108
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Phunsukh Bangdu? Who’s that?

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109
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Not Bangdu. Wangdu. ‘W’. Phunsukh Wangdu.

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110
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Do you know who that is? He’s a great scientist.

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111
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400 patents. The world wants him.

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112
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Took me a year to get an appointment.

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113
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Once he signs the deal with my company, I’ll be huge!

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114
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Forget Wangdu. How’d you get Rancho’s address?

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115
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You should be thanking Phunsukh Wangdu.

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116
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He led me to Rancho, see this.

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117
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My secretary was here to fix an appointment with Wangdu.

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118
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She didn’t get the appointment. But I found Rancho.

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119
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I checked the Shimla directory and found Rancho’s name.

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120
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What happened to his face?

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121
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Plastic surgery in honor of your visit?

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122
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Only one man has the answer.

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123
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Sorry Papa, I couldn’t fulfill your last wish.

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124
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You kept asking me to take you on pilgrimage.

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125
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But I waited for the highway tender.

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126
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There the tender opened, here you closed your eyes.

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127
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I am so sorry, Papa. I could not be a good son…

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128
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Wrong.

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129
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You’re an engineer. Your degree’s on the wall!

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130
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You were a very good son.

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131
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How dare you barge in? I’ll have you arrested.

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132
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No, you’ll be arrested. We’ve made enquiries.

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133
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You use the degree to clinch contracts.

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134
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It’s our friend’s degree. How did you get it?

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135
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This is a 150 acre estate.

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136
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If I shoot and bury you, no one would even notice.

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137
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Get the point?

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138
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Now get lost!

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139
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I’m taking Papa’s ashes to the sacred river. Can take yours too.

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140
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Grab Papa!

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141
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Here, here.

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142
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Let go of Papa!

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143
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Tell the truth or Papa is flushed!

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144
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  • Hand over Papa! - Papa goes to the sacred sewer.
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145
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NAME?

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146
Q

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A

I’ll count to three.

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147
Q

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A

Wanna shoot us? Raju, scatter the ashes.

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148
Q

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A

One.

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149
Q

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A

Take us down, and Papa’s down the drain.

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150
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A

Two.

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151
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A

Then grope for him in the gutter.

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152
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What is it, Raju?

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153
Q

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A

We’ve got the wrong urn. It’s empty!

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154
Q

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A

Empty?

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155
Q

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A

Empty - we’ll empty it out!

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156
Q

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A

No, no!

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157
Q

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A

We’ll empty it out!

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158
Q

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A

No… hands up!

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159
Q

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A

Who are you?

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160
Q

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A

I am Rancho.

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161
Q

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I swear on Papa, it’s true.

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162
Q

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I am Rancho! That was Chhote.

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163
Q

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A

Chhote?

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164
Q

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A

He was our gardener’s son, Chhote.

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165
Q

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He stayed on with us after he was orphaned.

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166
Q

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Did odd jobs around the house, ran errands.

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167
Q

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A

He had a passion for learning.

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168
Q

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A

He’d wear my old uniform and slip into school.

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169
Q

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A

And attend any class he liked. It suited me.

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170
Q

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A

I made him do my homework, take my exams.

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171
Q

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A

It was going well, till one day…

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172
Q

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A

Our teacher saw a sixth grader doing tenth grade math.

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173
Q

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A

Which grade are you in, son?

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174
Q

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A

What’s your name?

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175
Q

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A

We got caught.

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176
Q

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A

Papa was a powerful man, so…

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177
Q

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A

our teacher alerted him before going to the Principal.

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178
Q

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A

You started it, you will finish it.

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179
Q

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A

People pretend to show me respect…

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180
Q

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A

But behind my back…

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181
Q

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A

mock me as an illiterate.

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182
Q

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A

I won’t let that happen to my son.

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183
Q

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A

This boy wants to study. I want just a degree.

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184
Q

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A

Let the game go on.

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185
Q

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A

Make this kid an engineer,

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186
Q

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A

and I’ll have a degree in my son’s name on that wall.

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187
Q

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A

I went to London for four years, he went to college as me.

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188
Q

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A

He’d promised to cut contact with all after getting the degree.

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189
Q

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A

But he always said: ‘Two idiots will come looking for me’

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190
Q

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A

He really misses you both.

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191
Q

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A

I’ll give you his address, go to him.

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192
Q

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A

But please keep my secret.

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193
Q

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A

What secret?

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194
Q

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A

You got the wrong urn, sir. Papa is in here.

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195
Q

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A

What the hell’s going on? Who was that gun guy?

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196
Q

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A

Complicated story. Without subtitles. Not for you.

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197
Q

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A
  • Ignore it. - Where’re we going?
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198
Q

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A

Ladakh.

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199
Q

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A

Ladakh! Why?

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200
Q

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A

To meet Rancho.

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201
Q

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A

What’s he doing in Ladakh?

202
Q

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A

No clue. We have the address of a school.

203
Q

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A

School teacher!

204
Q

add

A

I’m Vice President of Rockledge Corporation, and he…

205
Q

add

A

A for Apple, B for Ball…

206
Q

add

A

D for Donkey.

207
Q

add

A

Next week I sign a huge deal with Phunsukh Wangdu.

208
Q

add

A

And he… A for Apple, B for Ball…

209
Q

add

A

Today my respect for that idiot shot up.

210
Q

add

A

Most of us went to college just for a degree.

211
Q

add

A

No degree meant no plum job, no pretty wife…

212
Q

add

A

no credit card, no social status.

213
Q

add

A

None of this mattered to him.

214
Q

add

A

He was in college for the joy of learning.

215
Q

add

A

He never cared if he was first or last.

216
Q

add

A

Who was the first man on the Moon?

217
Q

add

A

Neil Armstrong, sir.

218
Q

add

A

Obviously, it is Neil Armstrong. We all know it.

219
Q

add

A

Who was the second?

220
Q

add

A

Don’t waste your time. It’s not important.

221
Q

add

A

Nobody remembers the man who ever came second.

222
Q

add

A

Soon, 26 companies will be here with job offers.

223
Q

add

A

You’ll have a job even before your final exam.

224
Q

add

A

This is your last lap, my friends.

225
Q

add

A

Put the pedal to the metal. Step on the gas.

226
Q

add

A

Go out there and make history!

227
Q

add

A

Any questions?

228
Q

add

A

Yes?

229
Q

add

A

Sir, suppose a student gets a job…

230
Q

add

A

but narrowly fails the final exam, will he still have the job?

231
Q

add

A

Very good question.

232
Q

add

A

Anyone else with the same question?

233
Q

add

A

As expected.

234
Q

add

A

Please come on stage. Give them a big hand.

235
Q

add

A

For the last four years…

236
Q

add

A

they’ve been our most consistent students.

237
Q

add

A

Consistently last in every exam.

238
Q

add

A

Come my geniuses, come.

239
Q

add

A

Their brains will fetch a handsome price.

240
Q

add

A

‘Cause they’re completely unused.

241
Q

add

A

And to answer their question:

242
Q

add

A

The exam won’t affect their jobs.

243
Q

add

A

Because no company will hire them anyway!

244
Q

add

A

They’re so unique, their names will be writ in gold -

245
Q

add

A

‘Farhanitrate’ and ‘Prerajulization’

246
Q

add

A

Give them a big hand, please, everybody.

247
Q

add

A

He screwed us!

248
Q

add

A

In front of everyone.

249
Q

add

A

God, I’ll give up meat, light a 1000 incense sticks.

250
Q

add

A

Do me just one favor.

251
Q

add

A

Delete Virus!

252
Q

add

A

Burn him in hell.

253
Q

add

A

Fry Virus-nuggets in bubbling oil.

254
Q

add

A

You think God is a contract killer?

255
Q

add

A

You shut up!

256
Q

add

A

You’re in the center of the photo every year.

257
Q

add

A

We’re rotting in the corner.

258
Q

add

A

This year we may fall out of the photo altogether.

259
Q

add

A

NAME?

260
Q

add

A

Because I love machines.

261
Q

add

A

Engineering is my passion.

262
Q

add

A

Know your passion?

263
Q

add

A
  • That’s my bag. - Be quiet.
264
Q

add

A

What’re you up to?

265
Q

add

A

This… is your passion.

266
Q

add

A

Go post this letter.

267
Q

add

A

What letter?

268
Q

add

A

5 years ago he wrote this for his favorite wildlife photographer

269
Q

add

A

NAME?

270
Q

add

A

He wanted to train with him in Hungary.

271
Q

add

A

But in fear of his dad, the Fuhrer, never posted it.

272
Q

add

A

Quit Engineering, marry Photography.

273
Q

add

A

Follow your talent.

274
Q

add

A

If Michael Jackson’s dad forced him to be a boxer…

275
Q

add

A

and Mohammad Ali’s dad pushed him to be a singer…

276
Q

add

A

imagine the disaster.

277
Q

add

A

Do you get it?

278
Q

add

A

Idiot! Loves Photography, but is marrying machines.

279
Q

add

A

Your Holiness Guru Ranchoddas!

280
Q

add

A

Engineering is my wife and mistress both.

281
Q

add

A

NAME?

282
Q

add

A

‘Cause you’re a coward, scared of the future.

283
Q

add

A

Look at this - more holy rings than fingers.

284
Q

add

A

One ring per fear - exam, sis’s dowry, job.

285
Q

add

A

With such fear of tomorrow, how’ll you live today?

286
Q

add

A

How’ll you focus on studies?

287
Q

add

A

Strange buddies! One lives in fear, the other in pretense.

288
Q

add

A

You live in both - fear and pretense.

289
Q

add

A

You’re scared to tell Pia you love her… so you pretend you don’t.

290
Q

add

A

What rubbish!

291
Q

add

A

Easy to offer free advice, tough to follow it.

292
Q

add

A

Have the guts? Go confess to Pia.

293
Q

add

A
  • There’s no connection! - Deep connection, Your Holiness.
294
Q

add

A

Listen, if you confess to Pia…

295
Q

add

A

I’ll tell Dad - No Engineering, I’m marrying Photography

296
Q

add

A

And I’ll dump my rings before the job interview.

297
Q

add

A

Deal?

298
Q

add

A

Have the guts?

299
Q

add

A

His Holiness is speechless.

300
Q

add

A

Let’s go.

301
Q

add

A

NAME?

302
Q

add

A

Let’s go.

303
Q

add

A

Hey Virus! I’m anti-Virus.

304
Q

add

A

Hope no dog here.

305
Q

add

A

Cowards! Let’s go.

306
Q

add

A

If any danger, I’ll give the Virus alert.

307
Q

add

A

Beware - Virus inside.

308
Q

add

A

Need background score?

309
Q

add

A
  • Pia. - Who’s it?
310
Q

add

A

Don’t yell! It’s me, Rancho.

311
Q

add

A

Just listen for a moment, then I’m gone.

312
Q

add

A

Say not a word…

313
Q

add

A

NAME?

314
Q

add

A

Those 22 minutes with you on the scooter

315
Q

add

A

were the most enchanting 22 minutes of my life.

316
Q

add

A

I could spend an eternity with you on the scooter.

317
Q

add

A

Wow!

318
Q

add

A

… and time stands still.

319
Q

add

A

Every night you ride into my dreams on your scooter, dressed as a bride.

320
Q

add

A

Instead of a veil, you lift your helmet…

321
Q

add

A

and come close to kiss me.

322
Q

add

A

But that kiss doesn’t happen.

323
Q

add

A

Why?

324
Q

add

A

Because the noses collide, and I wake up.

325
Q

add

A

The noses never collide, stupid!

326
Q

add

A

I’m sorry, I thought you were Pia.

327
Q

add

A

I wish I was.

328
Q

add

A

Sis, why did you interrupt?

329
Q

add

A

It took him four years to say this.

330
Q

add

A

Pia, kiss him. Show that noses don’t collide.

331
Q

add

A

You have my permission, kiss him… He’s so cute!

332
Q

add

A
  • Who’s this? - My sister.
333
Q

add

A

Who’re you?

334
Q

add

A

When you were talking, he kicked. First time!

335
Q

add

A

He? How do you know it’s a ‘he’ or ‘she’?

336
Q

add

A

Papa asked the astrologer If we’d get an engineer or a doctor.

337
Q

add

A

Meaning?

338
Q

add

A

Boy becomes an engineer, girl a doctor.

339
Q

add

A

Champ, better stay inside. Out here’s a circus.

340
Q

add

A

Your grandpa is the ringmaster. He’ll crack his whip -

341
Q

add

A

‘Run! Life is a race. Be an engineer.

342
Q

add

A

But you follow your heart. If grandpa scares you…

343
Q

add

A

put your hand on your heart and say, ‘All is well’

344
Q

add

A

He kicked.

345
Q

add

A

Say it again.

346
Q

add

A

All is well.

347
Q

add

A

Kicked again.

348
Q

add

A

NAME?

349
Q

add

A

All is well.

350
Q

add

A

Who is it?

351
Q

add

A

Go.

352
Q

add

A

You sent hate-mail to Dad, here’s pee-mail for you.

353
Q

add

A

Enjoy the pee-mail, happy reading!

354
Q

add

A

NAME?

355
Q

add

A

And the wedding party.

356
Q

add

A

Rastogi!

357
Q

add

A

Security, that way.

358
Q

add

A

So you all have already learned about the simple pendulum.

359
Q

add

A

Now let’s get down to the advanced study about compound pendulum.

360
Q

add

A

It’s an irregular object oscillating about its own axis.

361
Q

add

A

Let me demonstrate to you

362
Q

add

A
  • What’s this? - Pencil.
363
Q

add

A
  • What’s inside? - Lead.
364
Q

add

A

Good. Lead is the axis to this pencil.

365
Q

add

A

Even you can be a compound pendulum, if you oscillate about…

366
Q

add

A

NAME?

367
Q

add

A

Hi. Everybody is here.

368
Q

add

A

Good morning, sir.

369
Q

add

A

Where were you last night?

370
Q

add

A

NAME?

371
Q

add

A

Really?

372
Q

add

A

Hasn’t slept two nights, that’s why he looks scruffy.

373
Q

add

A

Not slept?

374
Q

add

A

What did you study?

375
Q

add

A

Induction motor, sir. The whole chapter.

376
Q

add

A

Whole chapter?

377
Q

add

A

In that case, Mr. Raju Rastogi…

378
Q

add

A

Yessir!

379
Q

add

A

Can you tell us how an induction motor starts?

380
Q

add

A

Stop it!

381
Q

add

A

Sir, rum.

382
Q

add

A

Mr. Rastogi!

383
Q

add

A

Let’s have a cup of tea in my office.

384
Q

add

A

Sir?

385
Q

add

A

Close the door.

386
Q

add

A

Can you type?

387
Q

add

A

Yes, sir.

388
Q

add

A

Will you type a letter for me?

389
Q

add

A

Definitely, sir.

390
Q

add

A

Come, sit.

391
Q

add

A

Sir, I’m sorry sir…

392
Q

add

A

Please type.

393
Q

add

A

Dear Sir…

394
Q

add

A

It is my painful duty to inform you…

395
Q

add

A

that your son is rusticated…

396
Q

add

A

No, sorry, delete that. Go back.

397
Q

add

A

Your son, Mr. Raju Rastogi…

398
Q

add

A

is rusticated from the Imperial College of Engineering.

399
Q

add

A

Come on, type.

400
Q

add

A

It’ll kill my dad, sir.

401
Q

add

A

NAME?

402
Q

add

A

My decision is final and irrevocable.

403
Q

add

A

He lives just to see me become an engineer.

404
Q

add

A

Should’ve thought of that before peeing on my door.

405
Q

add

A

Sir, give me one chance… please.

406
Q

add

A

Ok, remove your name from the letter…

407
Q

add

A

and put in Rancho’s.

408
Q

add

A

I know he was with you last night.

409
Q

add

A

Be my witness and I’ll spare you.

410
Q

add

A

You have 71/2 minutes to think.

411
Q

add

A

? We won’t let go of you ?

412
Q

add

A

? We’re not done yet… no way ?

413
Q

add

A

? The heavens may beckon you ?

414
Q

add

A

? But we’ll take up arms against God ?

415
Q

add

A

? And it’s not a fight we intend to lose ?

416
Q

add

A

? You may try your best to escape ?

417
Q

add

A

? Try with all your might ?

418
Q

add

A

? But there is no way we are letting go of you ?

419
Q

add

A

? We won’t let go of you ?

420
Q

add

A

? We’re not done yet… no way ?

421
Q

add

A

Rancho, watch that monitor.

422
Q

add

A

Raju.

423
Q

add

A

His body is paralyzed with shock, but his mind is alert.

424
Q

add

A

He can see and hear us. Please don’t cry in front of him.

425
Q

add

A

Speak to him normally, motivate him, joke around.

426
Q

add

A

Good news, Raju. Your dad’s recovered.

427
Q

add

A

The new medicine worked.

428
Q

add

A

Is this your family tradition?

429
Q

add

A

As one male gets up, the other conks out?

430
Q

add

A

Come, wake up.

431
Q

add

A

Your dad wants Pia’s scooter.

432
Q

add

A

Should I give it to him? Hope he won’t dent it.

433
Q

add

A

Raju, Farhan is live on webcam. From the hostel.

434
Q

add

A

Look, Virus has canceled your suspension order.

435
Q

add

A

Problem solved… Wake up now.

436
Q

add

A

Everything’s resolved! You hear that?

437
Q

add

A

Rise and shine, buddy.

438
Q

add

A

? In this journey of few strides ?

439
Q

add

A

? On the path called life ?

440
Q

add

A

? Don’t quit… Just celebrate the ride ?

441
Q

add

A

? Listen please to those who love you ?

442
Q

add

A

? Every dark night is followed by sunrise ?

443
Q

add

A

? Don’t shut out those who love you ?

444
Q

add

A

? We won’t let go of you ?

445
Q

add

A

? We’re not done yet… no way ?

446
Q

add

A

? We won’t let go of you ?

447
Q

add

A

? We’re not done yet… no way ?

448
Q

add

A

NAME?

449
Q

add

A

It cost 2000/-

450
Q

add

A

Wake up now.

451
Q

add

A

She bought not one, but ten sarees.

452
Q

add

A

Look!

453
Q

add

A

Hey Raju!

454
Q

add

A

C’mon tell me… How do I look?

455
Q

add

A

? Remember the letters mom would write… ?

456
Q

add

A

? Always blessed you with eternal life ?

457
Q

add

A

? Don’t die on her… you can’t die ?

458
Q

add

A

? Look at us now, don’t turn away ?

459
Q

add

A

? Smile once to show you care ?

460
Q

add

A

? Wake up, don’t torment us anymore ?

461
Q

add

A

Did you hear about your sis?

462
Q

add

A

She’s getting married.

463
Q

add

A

Without any dowry.

464
Q

add

A

The bridegroom wants nothing at all.

465
Q

add

A

He just wants Kammo.

466
Q

add

A

NAME?

467
Q

add

A

Guess!

468
Q

add

A

NAME?

469
Q

add

A

NAME?

470
Q

add

A

He’s going to be a wildlife photographer.

471
Q

add

A

Quiet… Shhhh…

472
Q

add

A

Didn’t get it? It’s our Farhan.

473
Q

add

A

Farhan will never take any dowry.

474
Q

add

A

Farhan will marry your sister.

475
Q

add

A

For free! Free! Free!

476
Q

add

A

Raju!

477
Q

add

A

One kilo okra, 500 grams cheese for ‘free’ would’ve woken him.

478
Q

add

A

Why sacrifice me…!

479
Q

add

A

Well done, buddy.

480
Q

add

A

So it’s all fixed - Farhan will marry your sister.

481
Q

add

A

Rancho!

482
Q

add

A

Rascals… Stop fibbing.

483
Q

add

A

Lucky escape!

484
Q

add

A

? We won’t let go of you. ?

485
Q

add

A

? We’re not done yet… no way ?

486
Q

add

A

? We won’t let go of you ?

487
Q

add

A

? We’re not done yet… no way ?

488
Q

add

A

? We won’t let go of you ?

489
Q

add

A

‘Okra Rs.12/ kilo’

490
Q

add

A

You called for a taxi?

491
Q

add

A
  • I did. - It’s waiting.
492
Q

add

A

Thank you. Why?

493
Q

add

A

I’m going to the job interview.

494
Q

add

A

You coming with me?

495
Q

add

A

No. I’m going for the interview. You’re going home.

496
Q

add

A

Why would I go home?

497
Q

add

A

Remember, we promised this rascal.

498
Q

add

A

Give me your tie.

499
Q

add

A

Why?

500
Q

add

A

I doubt you’ll go for the interview after reading this.