3Idiots - 1 Flashcards

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नमस्ते

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Sir, kindly switch off your mobile phone.

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Just one sec, please.

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Excuse me.

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Excuse me…

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Sir, please sit down.

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Captain, there’s a medical emergency.

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A passenger has just fallen down in the aisle.

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Delhi, Air lndia 101 returning due to medical emergency.

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Excuse me, sir.

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l’m fine now, thanks. Carry on, please.

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Get the car! - Mr. Dhillon?

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Want the name tattooed? Get the car.

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To the hotel, sir?

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Yes, yes, but via Vasant Vihar.

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Step on the gas, dude!

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Yeah, Farhan?

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Get ready. l’ll pick you up in five minutes.

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What happened?

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Chatur called. Remember him?

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The ‘Silencer’?

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He said Rancho is coming.

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He said - Come to the campus at 8. On the tank.

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Oh shucks!

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Honey, l’ll be back soon. Oh, shoes.

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We found our buddy.

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Tell me later - bye.

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You forgot your pants.

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Now to the hotel sir?

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Yes, but via Imperial College of Engineering.

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Forgot my socks.

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More than just your socks…

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your pants.

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Now get my brother from the airport

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Same last name - Dhillon

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This is Dhillon. Where’s my cab? On the runway?

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Hey Rancho

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Hey Chatur, where’s Rancho?

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Where’s Rancho?

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Welcome, idiots

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Some ‘madeira’ for you?

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The same rum you guzzled those days.

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Have a drink.

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Where is Rancho?

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Patience. First look at this

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Don’t eye my wife. Check out the mansion behind, idiots

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$ 3.5 million

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Swimming pool - heated!

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Living room - maple wood flooring

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My new Lamborghini 6496 cc -

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very fast.

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Why’re you showing us all this?

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What’s this?

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‘5th September’. Today’s date

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l challenge you

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We’ll meet again after ten years

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Same day. Same place

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We’ll see who’s more successful

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Have the balls? C’mon, bet!

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Remember? l’d challenged that idiot right here

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l kept my promise. l’m back

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Jackass! l aborted a flight, he forgot his pants

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all to meet Rancho

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5 years we’ve searched. Don’t know if he’s alive

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and you think he’ll show up for your silly bet

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l know he won’t show up

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You gonna break his jaw or should l

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So why’d you call us here?

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To meet Rancho.

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Come and see where l’ve reached and where he rots

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So you know where Rancho is?

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He is in Shimla.

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Free as the wind was he

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Like a soaring kite was he

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Where did he go… let’s find him

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Free as the wind was he

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Like a soaring kite was he

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Where did he go… let’s find him

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We were led by the path we took

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While he carved a path of his own

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Stumbling, rising, carefree walked he

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We fretted about the morrow

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He simply reveled in today

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Living each moment to the fullest

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Where did he come from…

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He who touched our hearts and vanished…

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Where did he go… let’s find him

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ln scorching Sun, he was like a patch of shade…

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ln an endless desert, like an oasis…

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On a bruised heart, like soothing balm was he

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Afraid, we stayed confined in the well

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Fearless, he frolicked in the river

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Never hesitating to swim against the tide

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He wandered lonesome as a cloud

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… Yet he was our dearest friend

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Where did he go… let’s find him

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Ranchoddas Shamaldas Chanchad

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He was as unique as his name

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From birth we were taught - Life is a race

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Run fast or you’ll be trampled

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Even to be born, one had to race 300 million sperms

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l was born at 5.15 pm

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At 5.16, my father announced

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My son will be an engineer. - Farhan Qureshi. B.Tech. Engineer

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And my fate was sealed

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What l wanted to be… no one asked

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Raju Rastogi… Ranchoddas Chanchad

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Room number?

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l’m Man Mohan. MM

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These engineers call me Millimeter

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For eggs, bread, milk, laundry

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finishing journals, copying assignments

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l’m your guy. Fixed rates. No bargaining

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Hey wait, hold this

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Meet Kilobyte, Megabyte and their mother Gigabyte

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Go ahead, click - this family doesn’t bite.

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Check him out… another God-fearing soul.

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Hi. Farhan Qureshi. - l’m Raju Rastogi.

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Don’t worry.

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a few days here and he’ll lose faith in God.

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Then naked babes will be on the wall, and he’ll say -

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Oh God, give me one chance with her

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Get out of here.

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Four bucks. Two per bag.

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Here’s five. Keep the change.

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Thanks boss. For your tip, here’s one in return -

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Wear your best underwear tonight.

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Your Majesty, thou art great

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Accept this humble offering

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Ha… here’s a He-Man

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What a pretty piece. Cute and compact

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A campus tradition - On Day 1…

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Freshmen must pay their respects to Seniors

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in their underwear.

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This is when we first saw Rancho

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Spiderman

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Fresh meat

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Greetings. Drop your pants, get stamped

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‘Ranchoddas Shamaldas Chanchad’

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What a mouthful! Needs serious cramming

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Come on - pants off

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Being stubborn?

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Wet pants not good, kiddo. Take them off

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Aall izz well. - What’s that?

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Aall izz well.

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What did he say?

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Someone tell him. Hey James Bond.

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Make him understand.

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Take off your pants or they are going to piss on you.

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Hey 007! Ashamed to speak Hindi?

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Sorry sir, l was born in Uganda, studied in Pondicherry

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so little slow in Hindi

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So explain slowly. No hurry

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Feeling cold?

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Pray undress

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or he’ll do ‘urine-expulsion’ on you

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Calls pissing ‘urine-expulsion’!

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A true linguist in the land of engineers!

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Hey, come out of there

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Come out or…

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or l’ll do ‘urine-expulsion’ on your door

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lf you aren’t out by the count of ten

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l’ll do ‘urine-expulsion’ on your door all semester

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Salt water is a great conductor of electricity. 8th Grade Physics

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We had studied it. He applied it

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Dr. Viru Sahastrabuddhe was the Director of lCE

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Students called him Virus, computer Virus

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Virus on the way, with eggs

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Freshmen are summoned. Come quickly

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Virus was the most competitive man we had ever seen

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He couldn’t bear anyone getting ahead of him

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To save time, his shirts had Velcro

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and his ties had hooks

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He’d trained his mind to write with both hands simultaneously

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Everyday at 2 pm he took a 71/2 minute power nap

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with an opera as lullaby

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Govind, his valet, had instructions

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to carry out all unproductive tasks such as shaving, nail-cutting etc

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What is this? - Sir, nest

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Whose? - A koel bird’s nest, sir

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A koel bird never makes her own nest

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She lays her eggs in other nests

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And when they hatch, what do they do?

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They push the other eggs out of the nest

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Competition over

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Their life begins with murder. That’s nature

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Compete or die

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You also are like the koel birds

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And these are the eggs you smashed to get into lCE

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Don’t forget, lCE gets 400,000 applications a year

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and only 200 are selected - You!

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And these? Finished. Broken eggs

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My son… he tried for three years

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Rejected. Every time

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Remember, life is a race

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If you don’t run fast, you’ll get trampled

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Let me tell you a very interesting story

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This is an astronaut pen

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Fountain pens and ballpoint pens don’t work in outer space

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So scientists spent millions to invent this pen

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It can write at any angle, in any temperature, in zero gravity

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One day, when I was a student

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the Director of our institute called me

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He said, ‘Viru Sahastrabuddhe.’ I said, ‘Yes sir’

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‘Come here!’ I got scared

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He showed me this pen

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He said, ‘This is a symbol of excellence’

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‘I give it to you’

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‘When you come across an extraordinary student like yourself

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…pass it onto him’

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For 32 years, I’ve been waiting for that student

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But no luck

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Anyone here, who’ll strive to win this pen?

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Good. Put your hands down

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Shall I post it on the notice board? Hands down

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One question, sir

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Sir, if pens didn’t work in outer space

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why didn’t the astronauts use a pencil?

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They’d have saved millions

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I will get back to you on this

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He zaps a Senior’s privates at night

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fingers the Director in the day. Best avoid him

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You deflated Virus’s erection

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Your Majesty, thou art great. Accept this humble offering

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Buzz off. You don’t have school?

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Who’ll pay for it? Your pop?

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Keep off my dad! - Relax

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For school you don’t need tuition money, just a uniform

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Pick a school, buy the uniform, slip into class

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In that sea of kids, no one will notice

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If I get caught? - Then new uniform, new school

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See that? - He was different…

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He challenged conventions at every stage

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A free-spirited bird had landed in Virus’s nest

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We were robots, blindly following our professors’ commands

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He was the only one who was not a machine

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What is a machine?

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Why’re you smiling?

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Sir, to study Engineering was a childhood dream

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I’m so happy to be here finally

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No need to be so happy. Define a machine

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A machine is anything that reduces human effort

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Will you please elaborate?

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Anything that simplifies work, or saves time, is a machine

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It’s a warm day, press a button, get a blast of air

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The fan… A machine!

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Speak to a friend miles away. The telephone… A machine!

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Compute millions in seconds. The calculator… A machine!

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We’re surrounded by machines

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From a pen’s nib to a pants’ zip - all machines

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Up and down in a second. Up, down, up, down…

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What is the definition?

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I just gave it to you, sir

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You’ll write this in the exam? This is a machine - up, down…

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Idiot! Anybody else?

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Sir, machines are any combination of bodies so connected

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that their relative motions are constrained

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and by which means, force and motion may be transmitted

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and modified as a screw and its nut, or a lever arranged

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to turn about a fulcrum or a pulley about its pivot, etc

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especially, a construction, more or less complex

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consisting of a combination of moving parts, or

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simple mechanical elements, as wheels, levers, cams etc

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Wonderful

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Perfect. Please sit down

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Thank you

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But sir, I said the same thing, in simple language

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If you prefer simple language, join an Arts and Commerce college

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But sir, one must get the meaning too

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What’s the point of blindly cramming a bookish definition

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You think you’re smarter than the book?

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Write the textbook definition, mister, if you want to pass

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But there are other books… - Get out!

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In simple language - Out!

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So, we were discussing the machine…

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Why’re you back?

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I forgot something

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Instruments that record, analyze, summarize, organize

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debate and explain information; that are illustrated, non-illustrated

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hard-bound, paperback, jacketed, non jacketed

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with foreword, introduction, table-of-contents, index

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that are intended for the enlightenment, understanding

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enrichment, enhancement and education of the human brain

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through the sensory route of vision, sometimes touch

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What do you mean?

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Books, sir

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I forgot my books. May I?

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Couldn’t you ask simply?

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I tried earlier, sir. It simply didn’t work

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Professors kept Rancho mostly out… seldom in

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When thrown out of one class, he’d slip into another

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He said - First year or fourth year, it’s knowledge. Just grab it

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He was unlike any of us

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We fought for a shower every morning

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He’d bathe wherever he found water

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Morning, sir

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Machines were his passion

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When he spotted them, he opened them

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Some he could re-assemble…

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some he couldn’t

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There was another, just like him

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Sir. Excuse me, sir

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Mr. Joy Lobo!

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Sir, if I could know the convocation dates…

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Dad wants to make train reservations

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I’m the first engineer from my village. Everyone wants to attend

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In that case, call your dad

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Please hurry up. Don’t waste my time

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Dad, the Director wants to speak to you

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Mr. Lobo, your son won’t graduate this year

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What happened, sir?

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He has violated all deadlines

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Mr. Lobo, it’s an unrealistic project

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He is making some nonsense helicopter

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I suggest you don’t book your tickets. I’m so sorry

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Sir, I am this close, sir - Is your project ready?

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Is your project ready? - Sir, see it once, please

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Submit it, and we’ll consider

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Sir, a small extension… - Why, why should I?

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After dad’s stroke, I couldn’t focus for two months

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Did you stop eating?

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Stopped bathing?

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So why stop studying?

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Sir, I’m very close. See it once, please…

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Mr. Lobo!

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Sunday afternoon, my son fell off a train and died

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Monday morning, I taught a class. So don’t give me that nonsense

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I can give you sympathy, not an extension

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Sir… I’m very close…

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? Lifelong I lived ?

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? The life of another ?

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? For just one moment ?

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? Let me live as I… ?

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? Lifelong I lived ?

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? The life of another ?

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? For just one moment ?

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? Let me live as I… ?

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? Give me some sunshine Give me some rain ?

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? Give me another chance I wanna grow up once again ?

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? Give me some sunshine Give me some rain ?

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? Give me another chance I wanna grow up once again ?

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Dude’s come up with an amazing design

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A wireless camera atop a helicopter

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Can be used for traffic updates, security… Wow!

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But Virus said it’s an impractical design, it won’t fly

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It will fly! We’ll make it fly

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Don’t tell Joy. It’ll be a surprise

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We’ll fly it up to his window and capture his reaction

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If we work on his project, who’ll work on ours?

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Tests, vivas, quizzes - 42 exams per semester

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You scare easily, bro

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Take your hand, put it over your heart, and say, ‘Aal izz well’

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All is well? - Aal izz well

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Words of wisdom from His Holiness Guru Ranchoddas

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We had an old watchman in our village

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On night patrol, he’d call out, ‘Aal izz well’

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And we slept peacefully. Then there was a theft

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and we learned that he couldn’t see at night!

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He’d just yell ‘Aal izz well’, and we felt secure

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That day I understood this heart scares easily

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You have to trick it

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However big the problem, tell your heart, ‘All is well, pal’

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That resolves the problem?

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No. But you gain courage to face it

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Learn it up, bro. We’re gonna really need it here

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? When life spins out of control Just let your lips roll ?

Answer 366

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? Let your lips roll And whistle away the toll ?

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? When life spins out of control Just let your lips roll ?

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? Just let your lips roll And whistle away the toll ?

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? Yell - All is Well… ?

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? The chicken’s clueless about the egg’s fate ?

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? Will it hatch or become an omelette ?

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? No one knows what the future holds ?

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? So let your lips roll And whistle away the toll ?

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? Whistle away the toll Yell - All is Well ?

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? Hey bro - All is Well ?

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? Hey mate - All is Well ?

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? Hey bro - All is Well ?

Answer 378

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? Confusion and more confusion No sign of any solution ?

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? Ah… finally a solution But wait… what was the question? ?

Answer 380

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? If the timid heart with fear is about to die ?

Answer 381

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? Then con it bro, with this simple lie ?

Answer 382

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? Heart’s an idiot, it will fall under that spell ?

Answer 383

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? Let your lips roll And whistle away the toll ?

Answer 384

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? Whistle away the toll Yell - All is Well ?

Answer 385

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? Hey bro - All is Well ?

Answer 386

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? Hey mate - All is Well ?

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? Hey bro - All is Well ?

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? Blew the scholarship on booze But that did not dispel my blues ?

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? Holy incense lit up my plight And yet God’s nowhere in sight ?

Answer 390

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? The lamb is clueless for what it’s destined ?

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? Will it be served on skewers or simply minced ?

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? No one knows what the future holds ?

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? So let your lips roll And whistle away the toll ?

Answer 394

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? Whistle away the toll Yell - All is Well ?

Answer 395

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? Hey bro - All is Well ?

Answer 396

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? Hey mate - All is Well ?

Answer 397

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? Hey bro - All is Well ?

Answer 398

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? When life spins out of control Just let your lips roll ?

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? Just let your lips roll And whistle away the toll ?

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? All is Well ?

Answer 401

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? The chicken’s clueless about the egg’s fate ?

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? Will it hatch or become an omelette ?

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? No one knows what the future holds ?

Answer 404

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? So let your lips roll And whistle away the toll ?

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? Whistle away the toll ?

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? Eureka! Eureka! ?

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? Yell - All is Well ?

Answer 408

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? Hey Mrs. Chicken - All is Well ?

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? Hey Mr. Lamb - All is Well ?

Answer 410

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? Hey bro - All is Well ?

Answer 411

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Hey, take it up to Joy’s window.

Answer 412

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Take it higher.

Answer 413

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Look at Silencer - the nude dude!

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Joy, come out.

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Come to the window.

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Joy, look outside.

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Good news, sir.

Answer 418

A

The police and Joy’s father have no clue.

Answer 419

A

Everyone thinks this is suicide.

Answer 420

A

The post mortem report -

Answer 421

A

Cause of Death: Intense pressure on windpipe

Answer 422

A

resulting in choking

Answer 423

A

All think the pressure on the jugular killed him

Answer 424

A

What about the mental pressure for the last four years?

Answer 425

A

That’s missing in the report.

Answer 426

A

Engineers are a clever bunch…

Answer 427

A

They haven’t made a machine to measure mental pressure.

Answer 428

A

If they had, all would know…

Answer 429

A

this isn’t suicide… It’s murder.

Answer 430

A

How dare you blame me for Joy’s suicide?

Answer 431

A

If one student can’t handle pressure, is it our fault?

Answer 432

A

Life is full of pressures. Will you always blame others?

Answer 433

A

I don’t blame you, sir. I blame the system.

Answer 434

A

Look at these statistics - India ranks No.1 in suicides

Answer 435

A

Every 90 minutes, a student attempts suicide

Answer 436

A

Suicide is a bigger killer than disease

Answer 437

A

Something’s terribly wrong, sir.

Answer 438

A

I can’t speak for the rest…

Answer 439

A

but this is one of the finest colleges in the country

Answer 440

A

I’ve run this place for 32 years.

Answer 441

A

We were ranked 28th. Now we’re No.1

Answer 442

A

What’s the point, sir?

Answer 443

A

Here they don’t discuss new ideas or inventions

Answer 444

A

They discuss grades, jobs, settling in the USA

Answer 445

A

They teach how to get good scores. They don’t teach Engineering

Answer 446

A

Now you will teach me how to teach?

Answer 447

A

No sir, I…

Answer 448

A

Sir, my paper…

Answer 449

A

Vaidyanathan, please sit down.

Answer 450

A

Here is a self-proclaimed professor.

Answer 451

A

who thinks he is better than our highly qualified teachers.

Answer 452

A

Professor Ranchoddas Chanchad will teach us Engineering.

Answer 453

A

We do not have all day.

Answer 454

A

You have 30 seconds to define these terms.

Answer 455

A

You may refer to your books.

Answer 456

A

Raise your hand if you get the answer.

Answer 457

A

Let’s see who comes first, who comes last.

Answer 458

A

Your time starts… now.

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3Idiots - 1 Flashcards

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