week 6 - love Flashcards
Is Love Universal?
Experience of love is universal (e.g. Jankowiak & Fischer, 1992)
May have an evolutionary basis (e.g. Fisher, 2004) - evolved to focus on one mate
Expressing Love: Saying “I love you”
- Newcomers to US say it more longer been in country (Lum, 1997)
- More likely to say in English vs. native tongue (Wilkins & Gareis,
2006)
- Non-verbal expressions more common in collectivist
countries
yes universal but diff in expression
Example of culture difference - love songs
china = more mix of the good and the bad
Loving our Friends
Differences
F: Less complex/intense feelings, easier to
dissolve, spend less of free time together, less
intense emotions
R: fascination, sexual desire, greater desire for
exclusivity
R: more stringent rules - rigid expectations
Similarities
warm evaluations of partner
Respect
Trust
Capitalization
Social support
responsiveness
Sternberg’s Love Triangle 3 things
intimact, commitment, passion
intimacy alone
friendship/ acquantance
intimacy and committment
companionate love
long term couple but less spicy
commitment alone
empty love
married at first sight
passion and commitment
fatuous love
romeo and juliet
no close connection
dont even know eachother
passion alone
a crush
romantic love
spring fling
friends w benefits
intimacy and passion
consummate love
intimacy, passion, committment
the goal
Love Languages
Argument: There are five key love languages
Words of affirmation
Acts of service
Receiving gifts
Quality time
Physical touch
Everyone has a primary “love language”, and you
need to communicate your love to your partner in
their language
Not research-based, but very popular
love language problem
want a balanced diet
dont want to have to have to pick one
Gender diffs in love expression?
How do men and women express love in
everyday life?
M and W equally likely to show love
through affectionate behaviours
M s showed love by initiating sex, sharing
leisure activities, and doing household
work together
chores togther = quslity time
Modern Conceptualization of Love
(Mikulincer & Goodman, 2006)
three systems involved in romantic
love:
Sexual system (attraction and passion)
Attachment system (pair bonding)
Caregiving system (love and support)
Unrequited Love
Common experience
Who has it worse? (Rejector or would
be lover?)
rejector has it worse
- find it annoying and feel guilty
Why does it happen?
1) Assume rel worth waiting for
2) Overestimate how liked in return
3) Experience many of the rewards of
falling in love
The Biology of Love
low seretonin like OCD
Lovesick
Falling in love is associated with
neurochemical changes
Participants: newly falling in
love, unmedicated OCD
patients, & controls
Measured serotonin density in
blood platelets
Lovers matched OCD patients
(low serotonin) more than controls
Passion and Reward Systems
fMRI study: 10 women and 7 men who were newly, intensely in love
Average relationship length = 7 months
Compared to control images, images of their loves ones were
associated with:
Activation in the VTA
Motivation to acquire reward
Specifically RIGHT VTA – associated with wanting (rather than liking)
Greater activation for those who reported higher levels of romantic love
(using the passionate love scale)
Your brain on love
Love = obsession & rewarding/addicting
Examined love in long-term couples
-reported what
A high proportion of participants (>40%)
reported being intensely in love with their
spouses
Intense love was associated with:
Physical affection
Spending time with the partner
Novel, challenging activities
Sex
General life happiness
The Michelangelo Phenomenon
Michelangelo, the sculptor,
believed that each stone has
an “ideal form”
The sculptor’s job is to chip
away at the stone’s
imperfections to reveal its
ideal form
