week 4 online dating Flashcards
sex vs gender
biologival features to social expectations
gender experssion varieties
thinking and behaviour
sex
biological features that charxatcerize the male amd female of a species
primary sex charcateristics
born w, promote sexual repordutction
secondary sex charcateristics
emerge during puberty, signal fertiity and maturirty
binary assumption
male and female
non overlapping
unique to human spceies
problem-intersex
we cannot see ppl’s gentilia or hromoes usually so we go off apperance
intersex
both m and f
missing or extra chromosome or normal
gender
attitudes, behaviours, expecttaions a culture identifies as masuxline or feminine
teriatry sex characteristics
gender expression imposed by culture/ society
cisgender
match between gender and sex at birth
transgender
not match sex at birth and gender
masculine and feminine as unidimensional
two dimensions
more or less doesnt make one more or less
1970
two dimensional
opposties
schemas
organized beleievs about what it means to be a man or woman
androgynous
M and F high
they do well in novel situations
least depdennt most secure
undifferentiated
low M and F
gender unicorn
scales
meta analyses
combined findings across studies
is there a lot or little overlap between men and women on sevreal traits
lots of overlap
d statistic
difference berween group
falls between 0 and 1
closer to 1 = more differenet
+ or - (+=men higher)
who is happier men or women
women
who has highest sekf esteem M or W
men
(M or W) anxiety, guilt, or fear
towards sex
* emotional support
seeking
* decoding non-
verbal behavior
W
(M or W) intrusive
interruptions
* verbal aggression
* assertiveness
M
expressing emotion
* importance of
partner’s ambition
& social class
* tender-mindedness
M or W
W
importance of
partner’s physical
attractiveness
* physical aggression
* positive attitudes
towards casual sex
* masturbation
M or W
M
explnantions - evlutionary
mate prefernces
women need resources for offsprng
men want youthful bc invest resources in women who can reproduce
men and women differ
because
of unequal access to
power, resources, &
opportunities
EXPLANATIONS - LEARNED
expectations
actions
social strictual view
power, money, resources
expectations
actions
5 steps of social structure view
structural differences in
power & status
expectations for certain
behaviors/skillsets in men
& women
formulation of
stereotypes
socialization into
stereotypes (& punish
deviance)
gender-differentiated
behavior and
psychology
evolutionary
parental investment
social structural theory (SST)
gender inequality of power
and status
strong support for SST
gender expectations are changing and
evolutionary arguments are not always
supported
INTIMACY
relationship awareness
* expressing emotion & caring
* interest in sex
* ending relationships
RELATIONSHIP AWARENESS
connect with a few close others (women)
recall more details, greater accuracy, more
emotional range (women)
more complex representations (women)
take perspective of couple rather than self (women)
women better relaitonship awareness
INTEREST IN SEX (men)
motivation
* spontaneous thoughts
* sexual frequency
* # sexual partners
* masturbate
* variety
* sacrifice
* initiate vs. refuse
family farm - no respoobaility work or family life
later on men paid for work and women stayed home
women hv to rely on men
differences in social
expectations
men: go for it!
– women: be sexy, but not TOO
sexy
ENDING RELATIONSHIPS
women recognize problems
earlier
* accept and initiate therapy
earlier
* predict, talk about, and file for
divorce sooner
socilization - paying attn to the relationship
ORIENTATIONS
& IDENTITIES
experiences and expressions
* women and men
* asexuality
SEXUAL ORIENTATION
the way in which we pursue love,
attachment, and meaningful social
connections with others”
relationship attraction
sexual arousal
sexual attraction (most importsnt)
sexual behaviour
sexual identity
experiment with pupil dilation
like more what you are
ASEXUALITY
lack of sexual desire & attraction
0.4% - 3.3% of population
* not:
– celibacy
– medical condition
– black and white
men vs women repsond physiology to stimuli
Women - wider range
men - narrow range
men vs women over time
men - stability
women- fluidity
men vs women identity
men - completely
women - mostly or bisexual
men vs women influence
men - biological
women - sociocultural
evolution & genes
genetic component
to sexual orientation
– but there’s a paradox (genes should have died out then) - still a possibility
prenatal hormones:
influence of
testosterone
– gender nonconformity
social influences:
sexual fluidity
– not parenting
– therapy
ORIGINS OF SEXUAL ORIENTATION
evolution and genes
* prenatal hormones
* social influences
INTIMATE
RELATIONSHIPS
stigma & prejudice
* 3 C’s
* sexual activity & exclusivity
SAME-GENDER COUPLES
- underrepresentation of same-gender couples in existing
literature - more similarities than differences
STIGMA & PREJUDICE
overt & subtle
potential for internalized homonegativity
possible rejection from friends and family
lower self-esteem and more avoidance
lower self-esteem and more avoidance
COOPERATION, COMMUNICATION,
CONFLICT
greater emphasis on equality
and fairness
* division of labor
* gender deviance
neutralization
* negotiation
* more constructive
communication about conflict
SEXUAL ACTIVITY & EXCLUSIVITY
lower sexual frequency
* … but what about sexual quality?
* duration, variation, orgasm
- monogamish
rust, acknowledge jealousy, clear
guidelines - flexibility: honesty vs. don’t ask
don’t tell
Don is high in avoidant attachment. Which of these is probably FALSE.
-He is high in narcissism
- He only wants to learn mundane information about his partners
-Attachment-related concepts will become activated for him when he is cognitively distracted
- He has a negative model of others
www.menti.com and use the code 71 94 75 9
- He only wants to learn mundane information about his partners
is it common to meet s/o online
yes
Couples who met ________________ were less
likely to break up and had higher marital
satisfaction.
online
is there personality differences b/w online &
offline couples
no
When meet in person, knowledge increases but
liking and similarity may go down
online dating, so many options
“relationshopping”
1) Encourages unrealistically high standards
2) The paradox of choice
Think more choice will be better but it is not.
More profiles -> more regret
Deception in Online Dating
Evidence of deception:
Old photos
Age
Most people are inaccurate about
something
Misrepresent in accordance with
evolutionary predictions
Is this deception lying?
Inaccurate self-views
Presenting an ideal
Awareness of fudging norms
Use of uncertainty reduction strategies
increases self-disclosure
Tinder research
aried motivations
More than hookups!
Approach/Avoidance motives for tinder
Approach: More convos, more 2 nd dates
Anxious attachment: paradox
People accurately detected
______________ but not
________________ attachment
axnious, avoidant
Perceiving insecure attachment
linked to
less romantic interest
Diversity in Online Dating Experiences
Reported willingness to date trans men and
women: greater willingness amongst ppl self-
identifying as queer, bisexual, trans, or
nonbinary
Apps might not be meeting needs of gay men
in China -> using Zhihu (Q & A site like Quora)
instead
(Blair & Hoskin, 2019; Wang et al., 2002)
Friends with Benefits
(e.g., people who have an existing friendship, these two may or may not engage in sexual
activity when they hang out with each other, they are usually not under the influence of alcohol and/or drugs,
these two engage in sex with each other regularly)
Sex Buddy
e.g., people who know each other, they engage in sexual activity when they hang out with each
other, they are usually not under the influence of alcohol and/or drugs, these two engage in sex with each
other regularly
Booty Call
e.g., two people who know each other, one person calls or texts the other person with the
intention of having sex with that person within the next few hours, often late at night, one person is usually
under the influence of alcohol/and or drugs, these two engage in sex with each other occasionally)
One Night Stand
e.g., strangers or people who do not know each other that well, these two usually meet
while out in a social setting [e.g., bar, party], sexual activity is not planned ahead of time, one or both are
usually under the influence of alcohol and/or drugs, there are no expectations that the two will see each other
again [even if contact information exchanged])
(Wentland & Reissing, 2011)
FWBs: Who Engages?
~50% U.S. university students
Less romanticized view of love
> alcohol use, less thoughtful decision
making
Higher attachment avoidance
FWBs: The “F” word
Predominantly a friendship; report
engaging in friendship behaviours
Ruining the friendship greatest worry
FWBs: Benefits or Costs?
Unsafe sex
Feel trapped
Gender differences in expectations and
outcomes
But…more positive than negative feelings
Avoidant ppl experience like relationships
FWBs: Relationship Gateway
Few differences in romantic relationships
that stem from FWBs vs. not
But… only 10-20% FWBs actually become
relationships.
Casual sex and well
Is casual sex harmful?
Mixed evidence
+ - and null effects
May depend on outcome
Not if you have + attitudes towards casual sex
catfish most liekly
Anxious attachment
Men
catfish target
Anxious attachment
Women
Tinder Swindler
Misrepresentation in line with
evolutionary predictions
Uncertainty reduction fail?
Gender & attachment styles
Attachment anxiety/Fear of
being single?
Detectable from profiles and
initial interactions
Love is Blind - Missing valuable cues
Non-verbals
Friends and family
Best to try to mimic real dates
problems w too many options online dating
gets hard to choose, go for cues that you can see like height
- u cannot evaluate everything bc thats too much of a congitive load
more profilies and options - confiemdnce
less confient
20-40 profiles vs 4 profiles
same satisfacrion and regret
h
what best predicts dating interest and desire
clicking
unique chemistry
unique desireability
unique compatability
anxious attachment paradox - tinder
they want relationship but go on fewer dates - prob bc others pick up on their anxious attachment
who most sucessful on tinder
those looking for meaninful realtionship
more emoji use
more sex
prompts better communication
who stays in FWB
majority stay friends
feel closer after sexual behv is stopped for good
dont stay friends if: sex based, lies
