week 5 Flashcards
is considered a SMALL sized gender differences per the guest lecture
self esteem
The development of breasts in cisgender women is considered an example of:
a secondary sex characteristic
Why are new relationships so
exciting?
self expansion
Self-expansion:
we like to grow
and improve
growing sense of self
enjoyment of learning new things
New relationship leads to rapid
self-expansion
Partner has lots of traits, hobbies,
experiences, etc. that we haven’t
been exposed to before
We incorporate these into our self-
concepts
Single undergrads at the beginning of
the semester
Describe yourself
Followed up every two weeks
Falling in love broadened descriptions of
the self-concept
As participants reported falling in love,
they used a larger variety of words to
describe themselves
Self-expansion is highly pleasurable
Part of why falling in love is awesome
Passionate love motivates intense merging
of self and other
Gradually, we come to include the
other”
in our sense of self
Perspective
seeing the world from new points of view
culture, city, family
outcomes tied in relationship
if partner gets promotion both ppl benefit
Resources:
: knowledge, material, social assets
Identity
process partner as part of self
benefits of merge
perspective, resoirce, identity
inclusion of others
the circled over lapping
Too much Closeness?
Too close for comfort
Threat to personal control
Giving up parts of yourself
Thwarts needs for autonomy and
to self-expand
Mismatch in actual and desired closeness à lower relationship quality
partner and self same
fast answer
partner and self not same
slower
Confusing Self and Other
Cognitive confusion of self and partner
Study: presented participants with words that described
either just themselves, just their partners, or both.
Me/Not me reaction time test
Reaction times slower for unshared traits
Speed of reactions to unshared traits predicts
relationship maintenance and closeness
Mistake self and partner in memory
Self-Expansion in Long-Term
Relationships
Self-expanding activity led
to more relationship
satisfaction, less boredom
adventure dates, trying new things, see partner in new light finding new skills, new challenges
challenges together as a couple (ball throwing vs tied together obstacle course)
bigger challenge (tied together obstacle course) results in less bordem and more satisfication
Archie has been dating Veronica for the past 3 months and they are falling in love. Archie
and Veronica both attend Riverdale High and love milkshakes. Archie is a football player,
while Veronica is a cheerleader. Archie is part of a psych experiment where he has to
identify whether traits are true of him or not. Which of the following are true?
A) Archie will be slow to identify Riverdale.student
B) Archie will be slow to identify football player.
C) Archie will be slow to identify cheerleader.
D) Archie will be slow to identify “hates milkshakes”.
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B and C
Which of the following is NOT necessarily true of self-expansion and inclusion of other in the
self.
A) You prefer to be fully overlapped with your partner.
B) You gain a larger perspective on things because of your partner.
C) You confuse partner and self in memory.
D) You describe self with wider variety of adjectives.
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A
How might we be able to use self-expansion theory to explain infidelity?
realtsionship stagnantng, want to try new things and expand in other ways
How can we use self-expansion/ IOS to explain why breakups are tough.
self concept shrinks, loose words, lost a part of yout self concept
I thought we wanted similarity, why can we learn new things if we r the same
want similar values and attraction adn poltiicves
diffwreence are more like interests
People experienced boosts in relationship
satisfaction on days with
self-expanding activities
and greater sexual desire
self expansion - long term relationship musie et al 2018 results
Self-expansion condition had greater sexual desire, and
in turn, relationship satisfaction than control condition.
Self-Expansion Motivation rundown
def: Motivation to increase resources, perspectives, and
identities in order to enhance ability to accomplish goals
subjecive experince: Desire, goal orientation;
during process of expanding, if rapid, exhilaration
type of process: motivation
example measures: Self-Expansion Questionnaire; activation of neural
motivation/reward systems
inclusion of others in the self rundown
def: Treating another person’s resources,
perspectives, and identities as if also one’s own
subjectice experience: Closeness; experiencing other’s out-
comes and responses as one’s own
type of process: cognition
ex measures: Inclusion of Other in the Self Scale;
cognitive confusions of self’s and other’s traits
self disclosure
helps mainly w overlap
Breadth increases more quickly than depth
Increasing depth of self-disclosure important for
trust
Who is less likely to disclose?
Fear of Rejection
Low Self-Esteem (unjustifiably) feel unvalued
and unsupported after disclosing a failure to a
romantic partner
fast friends set up
Sample: undergrad pairs
IV: Question type
DV: Closeness
Set 1:
¡ Q1: Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
Set 2:
Q18: What is your most terrible memory?
Set 3:
Q31: Tell your partner something you like about them already.
Q35: Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most
disturbing? Why
fast friends results
closeness q did elicit greater closeness than small talk condition
self disclosure experiment
mudnane tasks and faild and had to tell partener they thought they felt unvalued by their partner after their faiure but they accwere valued
Capitalization
how does partener react to you sharing something that they were not present for
their reaction matters a lot
they should be your hype squad
more important than the reaction to the negatives
avoidant captilization
bad at capilization
when do we experince the most relationship uncertainty
moderate levels of intimacy
when further intimcay achieved then
ambiguity/turmoil resolved
relationship turbulance model
highest turbulance in the trasnition from casual to serious dating
Intimacy: The Ultimate Relationship Reward
intimacy is at the heart of a rewarding relationship
Spielmann, MacDonald et al., 2012- developed a scale to
capture relationship rewards:
Sharing things with your partner
Learning more about your partner
Feeling that you share a meaningful connection
Feeling closer to your partner than to anyone else
Rewards are a better predictor of commitment than
threat
(how concerned you are about your partner rejecting you)
Passion = Increases in Intimacy?
most passion during changes in intimacy - self expansion (learning new things, exicitng)
Argument: it’s increases in intimacy that we
love the best
Passion as a function not of the level of intimacy,
but of the change in intimacy
Thus, passion is highest at the beginning of the
relationship, then inevitably wanes as intimacy
stabilizes
Growth vs. Destiny Beliefs
desitny = fixed, fate
growth=work together to make it work, commitment, working togetehr
Growth vs. Destiny Beliefs
(Franiuk et al., 2004) set up
Baseline: pre-existing confiexnce in partener, beleifs
IV1: Growth or Destiny prime
IV2: False, threatening relationship feedback
Growth vs. Destiny Beliefs
(Franiuk et al., 2004) result
Destiny beliefs lead to:
Relationship-enhancing cognitions if “right person”
Relationship-detracting cognitions if “wrong person”
Growth beliefs do not predict response based on
“right/wrong person”
More objective, less defensive
Beliefs and Expectations
(Kammrath & Peetz, 2012)
What happens when you want your partner to change?
One partner assigned to be the “change striver” – made
promises about improving behaviors
growth expect more change than destiny
Lack of change was attributed to lack of effort, rather than
difficulty
- Led to disappointment, reductions in trust
You want to increase sexual desire in your relationship. Which of the following is NOT the
best date night idea?
A) Watching the movie Magic Mike for the 3 rd time
B) Doing an escape room
C) Trying Hamilton’s newest restaurant
D) All of the above are good ideas
A) Watching the movie Magic Mike for the 3 time
