Knowledge of Positive Behavioral Requests

Question 1

What outcome is important to a good relationship?

Answer 1

satisfaction

Question 2

How many cherishing behaviors are important to improve satisfaction each day?

Answer 2

6 to 9 pp. 77-78. “Creating a Good Relationship” by William Lederer.

Question 3

How do we create cherishing behavior?

Answer 3

1. Share highlights of the week,
2. Specific positive behavioral requests based on the unique desires and needs of each person with win/win agreements in writing.
3. When overheated, focus on safety.
4. Continue in writing with email if needed.
5. Compliment effort and encourage professional health care providers and ask about future day week month year long term plans
6. Ask for the next meeting when, leader, notetaker and positive message.

Question 4

Why do spaced repetition of cherishing behaviors?

Answer 4

Results in optimal progress

Question 5

What are cherishing behavior choices involving a commitment to a relationship?

Answer 5

1. happy and positive with the joy of time together
2. important to the other
3. introduce each other to others
4. grow

Question 6

What are cherishing behavior choices involving communication with each other?

Answer 6

1. feel satisfied when discussing frustrations
2. communicate what you want and feel is important
3. other understands what is important to you
4. able to accurately clarify feelings of other

Question 7

What are cherishing behavior choices?

Answer 7

daily acts of service to others, pp. 51-52. “Creating a Good Relationship” by William Lederer

1. Your cherishing behavior choices show you care
2. The other’s cherishing behavior choices show the other cares
3. You and the other acknowledge the cherishing behaviors.
4. The cherishing behaviors feel comfortably balanced.
5. The number of cherishing behaviors feels adequate.
6. The range of cherishing behaviors reaches desires.

Question 8

What are the performance considerations of cherishing behaviors?

Answer 8

1. Labor is equitable even if unequal.
2. Trust each other to follow through with commitments.
3. Keep agreements consistently
4. To improve equity, value taking time to develop win/win agreements with each other.
5. Requests are fair and clear with win/win written agreements.

Question 9

What decision-making processes improve making cherishing behaviors?

Answer 9

1. Make decisions that respect each other’s autonomy.
2. Aware of responsibilities.
3. Respect each other’s desires
4. Listen respectfully to each other’s views even if disagree and are different
5. Feel decision making reflects what is important.

One way to enhance our ability to cherish others is to improve our decision-making processes. Decision-making is the act of choosing among different options, and it can be influenced by many factors, such as emotions, values, goals, and biases. To make decisions that foster cherishing behaviors, we can use some strategies, such as:

1. Clarifying our objectives and values. What do we want to achieve and why? How does it align with our core beliefs and principles?
2. Seeking diverse perspectives and information. How do others view the situation and the options? What are the pros and cons of each option? What are the potential consequences and risks?
3. Evaluating the options objectively and critically. How well do they meet our objectives and values? How reliable and valid is the information we have? Are there any assumptions or biases that might affect our judgment?
4. Choosing the option that maximizes the benefits and minimizes the harms for ourselves and others. How can we act in a way that respects and appreciates the people involved? How can we communicate our decision effectively and empathetically?

By following these steps, we can make decisions that reflect our intention to cherish others and ourselves.

Question 10

What cherishing behavior choices are important to make win/win agreements out of disagreements and fights?

Answer 10

1. Focus on prioritizing the most important issue instead of name-calling threats.
2. Respect each other’s time
3. Desire to be fair and peaceful to both oneself and the other
4. Allow oneself and the other to express anger about traumatic disturbances happening without harming each other.
5. Win/win agreements include ways to feel close to each other with cherishing behaviors.
6. To improve in solving challenging behavior, I learn with my Improve Communication Habit Recipe Reminder Card: when I let love lead the way, I use effective communication techniques with science support and celebrate with positive thank you’s. Specifically, let love lead the way when disagreement happens, and use effective communication techniques and celebrate with positive thank you’s. An effective communication technique for disagreement depends on the kind of disagreement. Therefore an effective communication technique is to recognize that disagreement is happening and try to understand what the disagreement is to connect to the science for support.

Question 11

What are ways to improve feelings of connection with each other with learning with Three Good Things science https://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/three-good-things and ideas of compassionate caring with the Greater Good in Action website?

Answer 11

One way to improve feelings of connection with each other is to practice thankfulness for the positive things that happen in our lives. A simple and effective way to do this is to use the Three Good Things science, which involves writing down three things that went well each day and why they happened. This can help us appreciate the good moments, recognize the sources of our happiness, and share them with others. Another way to enhance our feelings of connection is to cultivate compassion for ourselves and others. The Greater Good in Action website offers many practices that can help us develop this skill, such as loving-kindness meditation, self-compassion break, and active listening. These practices can help us reduce stress, increase empathy, and strengthen our relationships.

Question 12

What factors are important for improving relationships?

Answer 12

Relationships are the foundation of our lives. They provide us with support, love, companionship, and joy. Yet also require work, effort, and commitment to maintain and grow. How can we improve our relationships with our partners, friends, family, and colleagues? Here are some factors that can help:

1. Communication: Communication is key to any relationship. It means expressing our thoughts, feelings, needs, and desires clearly and respectfully. It also means listening actively and empathetically to the other person, without judging or interrupting. Communication helps us to understand each other better, resolve conflicts, and build trust.
2. Respect: Respect is another essential factor for improving relationships. It means treating the other person with dignity, kindness, and consideration. It also means accepting and appreciating their differences, opinions, and preferences. Respect helps us to avoid hurting or offending the other person, and to create a positive and supportive environment.
3. Honesty: Honesty is vital for improving relationships. It means being truthful and transparent with the other person, without hiding or lying. It also means being loyal and faithful to the other person, without cheating or betraying. Honesty helps us to build credibility and reliability, and to foster a sense of security and confidence.
4. Compromise: Compromise is important for improving relationships. It means finding a middle ground between our own needs and wants and the other person’s needs and wants. It also means being flexible and adaptable to the changing circumstances and situations. Compromise helps us to balance our individuality and our interdependence, and to avoid conflicts and resentment.
5. Appreciation: Appreciation is beneficial for improving relationships. It means expressing thankfulness and recognition for the other person’s contributions, efforts, and qualities. It also means showing affection.

Learn: Learn from your experiences and feedback from the other person on what works well and what needs improvement.
6. Willingness: Willingness to make changes and adjustments based on what you learned.

For example, if you want to have more fun with your partner, you can use VPLW as follows:

1. Visualize: You visualize yourself having a great time with your partner doing an activity you both enjoy.
2. Practice: You practice suggesting ideas for fun activities to your partner and listening to their suggestions as well.
3. Learn: You learn from your partner’s reactions what kind of activities they like or dislike.
4. Willingness: You are willing to try new things or compromise on the activities you do together.

You can also use a motivation scale to measure your motivation and ability to make better choices. For each choice you make, you can rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 10 on how motivated and able you are to make that choice. You can set a goal for how high you want your ratings to be each day or week. This can help you to monitor your progress and motivate you to keep improving your relationship.

• Trust: Trust is essential for any relationship. It means being honest, loyal, and reliable. It also means respecting the privacy, boundaries, and feelings of the other person. Trust open, truthful, and faithful.
• Affection: Affection is the expression of love and care for the other person. It means showing physical and emotional intimacy in appropriate ways. It also means being supportive, attentive, and appreciative. Affection is a powerful way to strengthen the bond between two people. To improve affection, we need to be romantic, playful, and generous.

Question 13

How do feelings of love develop in a relationship?

Answer 13

Love leads the way as a consequence of action with the ABC method of CBT.

1. A is the antecedent event
2. B is beliefs
3. C is consequences to feelings
4. D is to dispute irrational negative beliefs.
5. E is developing more excellent beliefs with science.

Question 14

What types of behavior are important to understand about cherishing behaviors?

Answer 14

1. Molecular behavior of body language [kinesics] involve love, respect, and help set tone.
2. Daily acts of service to others organized with performance pacts.
3. Decision-making behaviors: where, who, what, when, how, why.
   Daily acts of service and decision-making behaviors involve thoughts with consequences to feelings.
   Cherishing behaviors are actions that show appreciation, care, and love for someone. They can include verbal expressions, physical gestures, emotional support, and thoughtful acts. Cherishing behaviors are important to understand because they can strengthen the bond between partners, increase happiness and satisfaction, and reduce conflict and stress. Some examples of cherishing behaviors are:
4. Saying “I love you” and “thank you” often
5. Giving compliments and praise
6. Hugging, kissing, and cuddling
7. Listening attentively and empathetically
8. Doing favors and chores
9. Giving gifts and surprises
10. Planning dates and activities
11. Respecting boundaries and preferences
12. Supporting goals and dreams
13. Apologizing and forgiving

Question 15

Why are types of behavior important to understanding cherishing behaviors?

Answer 15

Types of behavior indicate people’s feelings. If people do not improve their behaviors, the consequence is negative feelings. If negative feelings outweigh positive feelings, negative feelings can destroy the relationship.

Question 16

How does science help to improve relationships?

Answer 16

Science can help with developing positive outcomes with steps to outcomes. Science can help to improve relationships in many ways. For example, science can help us to understand the psychological and biological factors that influence our emotions, behaviors, and communication styles. Science can also help us to learn effective strategies for resolving conflicts, enhancing intimacy, and fostering trust and cooperation. Science can also help us to appreciate the diversity and complexity of human relationships, and to respect the needs and preferences of ourselves and others.

Question 17

What exercises can help improve relationships?

Answer 17

1. Sharing examples of how science has improved relationships with each other.
2. Describe and pantomime molecular behaviors in relation to feelings.
3. Do cherishing behaviors from the list posted on the refrigerator door, mark date when done and share positive thank you’s and safe healthy learnings, then measure how many were done over time with a graph.
4. Share pictures and share feelings and clarify feelings with each other.
5. Ask questions of each other that are specific, fair and involve positive specific behaviors. Make requests that you need help with and convey respect of the other person that are reasonably and timely doable. Grant requests with the awareness that important to say no if appropriate and all requests are negotiable action.

Question 18

What is a performance pact?

Answer 18

The win/win written agreement is a performance pact that is a positive, courteous, specific behavioral request that occurs frequently to improve the relationship with the requester assisting the requestee.

The win/win written agreement is a performance pact that is a positive, courteous, specific behavior that an employee and a manager agree on for a certain period of time. It helps to align the individual’s work with the organization’s goals and to give feedback and appreciation. The win/win written agreement can make expectations clear, inspire employees, and enhance performance.

Question 19

What is a useful brainstorming exercise for creating performance pacts?

Answer 19

What is a useful brainstorming exercise for creating performance pacts?

Performance pacts are agreements between managers and everyone that define the expected outcomes, behaviors, and support for a specific role or project. They are a way of aligning expectations, providing feedback, and fostering accountability in the workplace.

One useful brainstorming exercise for creating performance pacts is to use Microsoft Compose. Microsoft Compose is an AI-powered writing assistant that helps you write faster, better, and smarter. It can suggest words, phrases, sentences, and paragraphs based on your context and goals. It can also help you apply the SMART framework to your performance pacts.

To use Microsoft Compose, you can follow these steps:

1. Start with a general goal or outcome that you want to achieve. For example, “Improve individual satisfaction”.
2. Type your goal in Microsoft Compose and press Tab to see suggestions. Choose the one that makes your goal more Specific. For example, “Improve individual satisfaction by providing high-quality products and services”.
3. Press Enter to start a new line and type “Measurable”. Press Tab to see suggestions. Choose the one that defines how you will measure your progress and results. For example, “Measurable: Increase survey response rate by 10%, achieve an average rating of 4.5 out of 5, reduce complaints by 20%”.
4. Repeat the same process for Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. For example, “Achievable: Allocate enough time and budget for the surveys, train everyone on how to handle feedback, prioritize the most impactful changes”, “Relevant: Enhance individual loyalty, increase retention and referrals, create a positive brand image”, “Time-bound: Complete the surveys by the end of the month, analyze feedback by the next week, implement changes by the end of the quarter”.
5. Review your performance pact and make any adjustments as needed. You can also use Microsoft Compose to check your grammar, spelling, tone, and style.

By using Microsoft Compose, you can create a performance pact that is clear, realistic, and motivating for both you and everyone. You can also use it as a basis for regular check-ins, feedback sessions, and reviews. A performance pact that is SMART and composed with Microsoft Compose can help you achieve your goals and improve your performance.
8/11/23

Question 20

What are William Lederer’s three rules of how to ask good questions in the book, “Creating a Good Relationship”.

Answer 20

In the book, “Creating a Good Relationship” by William Lederer, we are learning about how to ask questions. The three rules of asking good questions are to be specific, fair and involving a positive behavioral request.

Question 21

What are William Lederer’s “Rules for Making and Granting Requests.” in the book, “Creating a Good Relationship”.

Answer 21

Assignment 16, Creating a Good Relationship, encourages learning, “Rules for Making and Granting Requests.”

“Making requests of each other is a form of questioning. There are additional rules for asking and granting requests.
The quality of a relationship is clearly indicated by the number of things which are requested of each other by the spouses [applicable to all relationships], the nature of the requests, and the way the requests are made and responded to.
Requests in a good marriage are reciprocal commitments to the relationship. Both spouses, by asking and granting requests, are putting deposits into a jointly owned bank of good will.
The closeness of the relationship is indicated by the number of positive requests for small but pleasing behaviors and services. When relationships deteriorate, the first requests to go are the ones keyed to pleasurable behaviors. Disengaging wives and husbands seldom ask each other, ‘Please rub my back,’ or “would you bring me my coffee in bed this morning?’
If the breach in a relationship continues to increase, the negative requests gradually outnumber the positive ones. The negative requests usually concern complaints and attacks. ‘Will you please stop criticizing me all the time?’ or ‘Will you please stop nagging me and give me a little peace?’
Even if an outside observer does not know the content of the request, s/he can tell whether a couple is emotionally separating just by observing the manner, the postures, the gestures which accompany requests. Fists are clenched, faces grimace, speech is angry. Over time, ‘Please’ degenerates into ‘Will you?’ and then to ‘You should,’ ‘You must’ and finally, ‘Why the hell haven’t you?’ When bottom is touched, all requests stop and spouses pass each other in wordless anger.
The kinds of requests the spouses make to each other and the way in which the requests are made, therefore, indicate the attitude of the spouses to themselves, to each other, and to their relationship.

Rule 1
If you have a request, make it. Don’t remain silent, expecting your spouse to be a mind-reader.

Rule 2
A request is vastly different from a demand. If you want something from your mate [or anyone else]], ask for it as a favor regardless of what it is. A request means ‘Please help me,’ and ‘I value you.’ A demand implies that the speaker is superior and in charge.

Rule 3
The request must be reasonable, possible, and timely.

Rule 4
Make certain the request is not a mini-double-bind [double negative] request. [Example, “You don’t want to go to the store for me, do you?”]

To grant a request:

Rule 1
Agree to only those requests you can carry out. Have the courage to say no to a request when no is appropriate.

Rule 2
Do not accept all requests as yes-or-no requests. Treat a request as a negotiable action.”

Question 22

What are the steps for #DoingGoodQualityWork?

Answer 22

1. Asking for help to learn
2. Gathering needed resources
3. Giving full attention to learning
4. Keep learning until successful
5. Evaluate learning
6. Socially connect to evaluate successful learning
   https: //www.boystown.org/parenting/Documents/reward-cards.pdf

Question 23

What is a reward incentive?

Answer 23

Positive thank you’s and safe healthy learnings with joy cards
https://www.boystown.org/parenting/Documents/reward-cards.pdf

Question 24

Individual gives positive progress with cleaning up cigarette butts project. Individual gives request to wear gloves with picking up cigarette butts. A doctor and family member concurs. Individual wishes to suspend dinner together if do not wear gloves.

Answer 24

Compliment, agree to suspend cigarette butts project with request that obtain science-supported information with Cleveland Clinic Indian River Hospital.