3/11/2020+ Examples of Positive Behavioral Requests Flashcards
Compliment on science with request for most important science for university community media
- Evaluate community health improvement science-supported plan for community
- Evaluate most important need
- Identify best science to meet important need.
- Share best science-supported ideas to meet most important need.
Work
Thank you for your efforts to encourage #growthmindset to improve work. I agree with the importance of task success with motivational factors of relationships and #growthmindset opportunities with specific case negotiation of health.
https://twitter.com/HarvardBiz/status/1238145659624095750
wanting to physically punish, if not learning Brainscape cards exactly
Investigate the facts with Google search engine with science-supported information on the topic of corporal punishment.
“Loida described how, when her 14-year-old daughter yells at her and refuses to do what she asks (a chore, homework, etc.), Loida’s first impulse is to hit her, as Loida’s parents used to do to her when she was a child. Instead, Loida goes to her bedroom, shuts the door, and becomes ‘depressed’ until her husband comes home from work and addresses the situation. Loida said that she wants to be able to handle these situations herself - to learn other parenting alternatives and also to teach her daughter that she cannot always have her way with others.
During Session 9, and using the flowchart and what she learned during previous group meetings, Loida set these logical consequences for her daughter: If her daughter does not do one chore and at least 1 hour of homework each weeknight, she will not watch any television or make any telephone calls to friends that evening. If her daughter ‘raises a stink’ about this when reminded of these consequences, she will be grounded that Friday evening (Step 1).
In group, Loida then imagined how she would feel as her daughter does not accept these consequences and begins to have an adolescent-style tantrum. Loida said she would feel enraged (‘How dare you disobey me’) but also scared of her own anger, and hopeless (‘I want to hit her, but I can’t. I’ll do nothing.’) Loida then practiced saying to herself, ‘Wait a minute. This means I have to slow down and work on my feelings here. Don’t go into the bedroom and do nothing!’
Loida then decided that she would in fact go into her bedroom, but only for a few minutes in order to calm herself down. Loida then practiced emotional self-care (Step 3). She practiced saying to herself (her logical voice), ‘You do not have to hit your child like your parents did to you. You are not your mother; you are not your father.’ Loida then decided that she would access the soothing voice of her grandmother, the only adult who nurtured her as a child. Her grandmother’s voice would say to her, ‘You can do it! You don’t have to hide in your room. I have faith in you, Loida. You can be strong; you can. Go out there and be a good mother. I know you can do it.’ With the therapist’s prompting, Loida then accessed her feeling part and responded, ‘But I may mess up, Grandma, It’s safer in the bedroom.’ The Grandmother voice then replied, ‘But you will not help your daughter this way. Be there for her the way I was for you. If you mess up, you can always try again. You’ve never hit her even once, so you won’t start now. Go, go.’ Loida practiced variations of this conversation four or five times in the group.
Loida also reminded herself that her daughter’s oppositionalism is a normal developmental breaking away from parental control in order to begin to establish her own identity and autonomy during adolescence (Step 4). Loida acknowledged that she and her daughter were extremely close, and this made this developmental process more painful for her. A group member then pointed out that her daughter’s dramatic pushing away was a testimony to how much she loved Loida: ‘If she didn’t care so much for you, she wouldn’t need to push you away so hard.’ Loida said that she would remind herself of this when feeling rejected by her daughter.
Finally, Loida practiced reminding her daughter of the reestablished consequences for her misbehavior, and saying this in a firm but not enraged or hurt tone of voice (Step 5). She also practiced telling her daughter, ‘I know you’re a teenager and need your space and want to do things your way. I love that about you, but you still are a part of this household too and you go to school, and you need to do your responsibilities. Be you and also be responsible.’
By the end of this exercise, Loida had gone through the entire parenting flowchart three or four times as she practiced her new parenting strategies. The group members praised Loida during and after the exercise.” pp.355-6 “Cognitive Behavioral Group Therapy for Specific Problems and Populations”
To clarify, this example is based on “an adaptation of Wessler and Hankin Wessler’s (1986) cognitive appraisal therapy (CAT). The specific steps involve: “Parents are asked to imagine what the child is feeling during this interaction. Most often, at the beginning of the CAT group, many parents have either not considered this before or project thoughts and feelings, not the child that justify their own reactions. The therapist can ask group members to close their eyes and visualize the situation to access their feelings.” p. 334
To achieve this step, the parents and children can create a chart:
Chart of feelings During a Typical Parent-Child Interaction
Feelings Situation Before Behavior Child’s Behavior Your Response
Your feelings A B C
Child’s feelings D E F p. 344
Once feelings have been clarified, “Parents are then asked to look at their thoughts and feelings while parenting and think of other situations in their lives during which they have similar thoughts and feelings. “ p. 350 Once understanding of the connection between behavior, thought and feeling that leads to specific disagreement is achieved, the next step is to soothe the feelings by imagining someone calming them down while experiencing the feelings with effective soothing techniques: imagine one person who has effectively soothed feelings in the past, soothing feelings in the present moment.
Once calm feeling is achieved, parents can evaluate similarities of the situation to other situations and learn how to apply the parenting flowchart to one problematic situation:
Step Parent’s Task
1 Even before any misbehavior happens, establish rules and reasonable logical consequences for misbehavior in your child. Let your child know ahead of time what will happen when he/she misbehaves
2 When the misbehavior happens, be aware of what you are feeling. Old familiar feelings are red flags: WARNING - WORK AHEAD!
3 Put the feelings in your back pocket for the time being.
4 What is the (positive) message of your child’s misbehavior?
For example, is he/she trying to tell you ‘I need to feel independent’; or ‘I need to feel strong’ or ‘I need to know the limits of our rules?’
5 How will you respond?
What is the predetermined consequence for this misbehavior (see Step 1)?
What is the best message for you to give your child so that he/she learns and with the least conflict (and least hassle for you)? p. 352
Practicing these steps has been found by the research to improve results. How do you think we might be able to apply this example and steps to improve results with our relationship?
Body calming strategies to reduce body reactions
- cooling body temperature with ice water in bowl 20s, cold back on face and neck 3 minutes
breathing 5/7 3 minutes - puzzle, haiku, Sudoku, crossword, jigsaw, fruits, alphabet, countries, trivial q, craft, exercise, worry time
- 5 senses mindful :
delicious meal, bubble bath oil - engage other people nicely with positive behavioral requests practice with Brainscape
5. Track problem behaviors when distress need to feel safe emotions what works stress tolerance skills
Adults or Teens with physical signs:
fatigue, headache, digestive problem, body aches, dizzy
behavioral signs: inattentive to grooming and hygiene, withdrawing, increase in caffeine, alcohol, nicotine, or drugs
mental signs: difficulty making decisions, forgetful, distort time, worrying
emotional signs: irritable, argumentative, angry outburst, crying spell
Children with physical signs: headache, stomachache,
sleep difficulty
behavioral signs: regression, increased clinging, siblings or parents difficulty, withdrawal
mental signs: excessive worry, difficulty focusing, ruminative thinking
emotional signs: increased crying, temper tantrums, angry outbursts, fears
https://www.redcross.org/take-a-class/coronavirus-information/psychological-first-aid-online-course
Evaluate ability to realign from adverse experience by asking about needs/concerns, clarifying that you are listening and concerned with what say. care, want to help, present, respectful, compassionate, empathize, aware of your voice, reassure and give time to grieve losses. Link to align with supportive activities of self, relationships, community organizations: exercise, music to support mental health. Live with supportive activities of listening, supporting, breathing, mindful relaxing, exercise, relationships, ask help. Live with self-care activities: stressors worry list with control variables and resources to solve problems, improve emotions with stretching, meditating, healthy eating, exercising, sleeping, joy, apps, and scheduled news source. With children, encourage routines, family connections with video chat, positive online structure, reading, crafts, games, puzzles, cooking, movies family time, evaluate age needs, correct misinformation, answer questions, talk. careful about hand hygiene and face covering, support essential vs. nonessential functions and protective activities of showering and changing clothes
https://www.redcross.org/take-a-class/coronavirus-information/psychological-first-aid-online-course
Adult feeling rage, resentment, anxiety, despair, numb, terror, guilt, sad, helpless, disinterested, overwhelmed, thoughts difficulty, low self esteem blame and harm, flashbacks, unreal, physical effects of agitation, change in sex drive and startled, weak, behavioral problems of learning and work and risky, change in spiritual relationships and activities involving God and life purpose.
Children and teens whine, scream, tremble, aggressive, school/daycare refusal, defiant, injure self, re-living disaster events with play, questions or stories
https://cdn.ymaws.com/www.papsy.org/resource/collection/8F65CE7F-36A3-4A2E-9AE8-1546D0092397/W07_-_Psychological_First_Aid_ILTParticipantGu.pdf
- Self-care
- Connect
- Help to safety
- Kind, calm and give compassion
- Meet needs
- Listen
- Reassure
- Encourage healthy coping strategies
- Help connect
- Give timely information
- Refer to Disaster Mental Health services worker of American Red Cross
- End conversation
https: //cdn.ymaws.com/www.papsy.org/resource/collection/8F65CE7F-36A3-4A2E-9AE8-1546D0092397/W07_-_Psychological_First_Aid_ILTParticipantGu.pdf [11 steps change to 12 in current course version]
Visit with individual sharing about essential work.
https://www.redcross.org/take-a-class/coronavirus-information/psychological-first-aid-online-course
Look for stress signs of suffering.
Listen for support need type.
Link individual to resources to help alleviate suffering with coping strategies. One choice is an Employee Assistance Program.
Live to prevent suffering with coping strategies that meet need.
https://www.redcross.org/take-a-class/coronavirus-information/psychological-first-aid-online-course
Visit with individual grieving loss.
https://www.redcross.org/take-a-class/coronavirus-information/psychological-first-aid-online-course
Encourage time to grieve.
https://www.redcross.org/take-a-class/coronavirus-information/psychological-first-aid-online-course
Visit with child worried about parents getting COVID-19.
https://www.redcross.org/take-a-class/coronavirus-information/psychological-first-aid-online-course
I am sorry you feel worried. Even though people get sick, parents are learning science-supported coping strategies to improve health. If parents get sick, parents can learn science-supported coping strategies to improve health.
https://www.redcross.org/take-a-class/coronavirus-information/psychological-first-aid-online-course
How to connect with an individual showing signs of disaster-related stress.
https://cdn.ymaws.com/www.papsy.org/resource/collection/8F65CE7F-36A3-4A2E-9AE8-1546D0092397/W07_-_Psychological_First_Aid_ILTParticipantGu.pdf
Greet with your name. Ask name and ask if may call individual by name. Accept if refuses, and suggest choice to connect at a different time.
https://cdn.ymaws.com/www.papsy.org/resource/collection/8F65CE7F-36A3-4A2E-9AE8-1546D0092397/W07_-_Psychological_First_Aid_ILTParticipantGu.pdf
Visit with individual needing safety.
https://cdn.ymaws.com/www.papsy.org/resource/collection/8F65CE7F-36A3-4A2E-9AE8-1546D0092397/W07_-_Psychological_First_Aid_ILTParticipantGu.pdf
Help individual reach safe space, follow any emergency instructions, call if need emergency assistance 911, if in danger to harm, call 911 and Disaster Mental Health Worker. If call 911, give address or building, describe any weapon, clarify if criminal, fire or health emergency. Give individual’s name, height and weight, gender and race, clothing.
Visit with individual ignoring needs.
https://cdn.ymaws.com/www.papsy.org/resource/collection/8F65CE7F-36A3-4A2E-9AE8-1546D0092397/W07_-_Psychological_First_Aid_ILTParticipantGu.pdf
Offer or direct individual to food/water.
Identify health concerns and direct to health services. Call 911 if emergency. If call 911, give address or building, describe any weapon, clarify if criminal, fire or health emergency. Give individual’s name, height and weight, gender and race, clothing.
Encourage healthy behavior. Direct to Disaster Mental Health Worker if need.
https://cdn.ymaws.com/www.papsy.org/resource/collection/8F65CE7F-36A3-4A2E-9AE8-1546D0092397/W07_-_Psychological_First_Aid_ILTParticipantGu.pdf
Visit with individual who does not want to talk to you about stress/suffering.
https://cdn.ymaws.com/www.papsy.org/resource/collection/8F65CE7F-36A3-4A2E-9AE8-1546D0092397/W07_-_Psychological_First_Aid_ILTParticipantGu.pdf
Be there for the individual.
https://cdn.ymaws.com/www.papsy.org/resource/collection/8F65CE7F-36A3-4A2E-9AE8-1546D0092397/W07_-_Psychological_First_Aid_ILTParticipantGu.pdf
Visit with individual who talks to you about stress/suffering.https://cdn.ymaws.com/www.papsy.org/resource/collection/8F65CE7F-36A3-4A2E-9AE8-1546D0092397/W07_-_Psychological_First_Aid_ILTParticipantGu.pdf
Listen with caring. If individual has unexpected reactions and family community is concerned about individual’s behavior/ and/or concern about loss or threat to life or disconnected from family community/ and/or no finances and difficulty, notify Disaster Mental Health Worker a.s.a.p. If difficulty, anxiety, significant complaints/ and/or home or financial loss, rescue situation, sheltering/ and/or positive coping with support, notify Disaster Mental Health Worker at shift end. If ruminates on disaster, sleep loss, in conflict/ and/or difficult experiences/ and/or negative coping strategies, notify Disaster Mental Health Worker with factors at shift end.
https://cdn.ymaws.com/www.papsy.org/resource/collection/8F65CE7F-36A3-4A2E-9AE8-1546D0092397/W07_-_Psychological_First_Aid_ILTParticipantGu.pdf
