Attraction, love and communication Flashcards

1
Q

What attracts us to people

A
  • affective influences
  • similarity
  • propinquity/proximity
  • scarcity
  • physiological arousal
  • neurochemical factors
  • physical attractiveness
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2
Q

Direct effect emotions on attraction

A

Positive affect usually leads us to evaluate others favorably; negative affect leads to disliking

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3
Q

Indirect effect of emotion on attraction

A

Person indirectly transfer existing emotional states onto people they meet
- Priming

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4
Q

Priming

A

Priming participants exposed to pleasant or unpleasant stimuli evaluate persons differently

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5
Q

Byrne’s law of attraction

A
  • we like people who are frequently nice to use (rewards) and seldom nasty (punishments)
  • we prefer similar people because interaction with them is rewarding
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6
Q

Assortive mating

A

Much evidence that humans ingange in matching with similar partners
- Matching phenomenon: attitudes, intelligence and attractiveness

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7
Q

Social comparison theory

A

Selecting similar partners may bolster self-esteem by validating our own worldviews

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8
Q

Similarity

A

Similarity is not sufficient condition for relationship success, and not everyone is attracted to similar others
- in fact, interracial and interreligious marriages are on the rise
- complementarity

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9
Q

Complementarity

A

The idea that opposites attract, that individuals are attracted to what’s different in others

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10
Q

Homophily

A

Tendency to have contact with people who are equal in social status

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11
Q

Propinquity
- proximity effect

A

The closer two people are physically, the greater the odds that they will meet and the more likely it is that an attraction will develop
- mere exposure effect

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12
Q

Mere exposure effect

A

Familiarity (repeated exposure) leads to liking
- the girl next door

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13
Q

Physiological arousal

A

Shaky bridge study: if one is already aroused when meeting someone new, the odds of attraction increase
- misattribution of physiological arousal

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14
Q

Two-component theory of love

A

Two conditions must exist simultaneously for passionate love to occur:
- physiological arousal
- attaching a cognitive label to the feeling of arousal (love)

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15
Q

Neurochemicals in attracyion

A

Pheromones may increase a partner’s desirability
- dopamine and serotonin may facilitate or inhibit arousal and attraction
–> antidepressant hightern arousal due higher dopamine
- oxytocin may enhance attraction by creating a feeling of bondedness

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16
Q

Physical attractiveness

A

The degree to which we perceive another person as beautiful plays an important role in initial attraction
- we tend to be more attracted to people we perceive as beautiful

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17
Q

Sexual/social strategies theory

A

Attractive persons –> healthy persons –> indicator of fertility –> offspring
- younger women are more likely to be fertile than older women
- men want to be certain about their paternity, sot they want a sexually faithful woman

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18
Q

Context-dependent beauty

A

A person’s beauty is rated in reference to other neaby people

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19
Q

Contrast effect

A

The idea that perceptions of average can be thrown off by the presence of a few outliers

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20
Q

Halo effect

A

A positive perception of someone based on physical attractiveness

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21
Q

Fluctuating asymmetry

A

Assymetrie in een gezicht is belangrijk in aantrekkelijkheid. Asymmetrie van bilaterale kenmerken die gemiddeld gezien symmetrisch zijn in de populatie, reflecteren ontwikkelingsinstabiliteit

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22
Q

Triangular theory of love

A
  1. intimacy; emotional component and is expressed in communicating person feelings
  2. passion; motivational component and is expressed in kissing, touching and making love
  3. Decision or commitment; cognitive component and is expressed by stating: ‘I love you and want to maintain the relationship’
23
Q

The full triangle

A
  • Liking (intimacy)
  • Companionate love (intimacy and decision)
  • Empty love (decision)
  • Fatuous love (passion and decision)
  • Infatuation (passion)
  • Romantic love (intimacy and passion)
24
Q

Lee’s styles of loving

A

Emphasizes how people approach love
- no one style is better than another; relationship succes depends upon the matching of styles
- major mismatch: game-players matched with possessives
- there are sex differences in some love styles, consistent with evolutionary prediction

25
Q

3 componenten van Lee

A
  • eros
  • ludus
  • storge
26
Q

Eros

A

Krachtige aantrekking aan het fysieke uiterlijk van en geliefd persoon. Deze personen verbeteren hun seksuele technieken constant

27
Q

Ludus

A

Speelse liefde. Deze mensen willen niet te betrokken raken of afhankelijk worden van de ander. Er is lage commitment en soms zijn er meer dan één partner

28
Q

Storge

A

Liefde zonder gekke dingen, een vredige en betoverde affectie. Deze soort sluipt er ongemerkt in bij een relatie, mensen herinneren zich niet het moment wanneer ze verliefd werden. Deze vorm is vaak erg stabiel

29
Q

Styles of love
- Lee

A

Romantic love
Game-playing love
Companionate love
Pragmatic love
Possessive love
Altruistic love

30
Q

Romatic love
- Lee

A

Based on beauty and sexuality
–> this love style is the most commonly portrayed in meda. It is based off physical chemistry and a strong physical or emotional attraction

31
Q

Game-playing love
- Lee

A

Based on entertainment and excitement
Ludus lovers are those who see love as a game and are more interested in quantity than quality of relationships. The focus is on having fun in the moment

32
Q

Companionate love
- Lee

A

Based on peace and frienship
Storge love is a style of love that grows slowly out of frienship and is based more on similar interests and commitment. Passion is often lacking

33
Q

Pragmatic love
- Lee

A

Based on practicality and tradition
This love style is based on practicality and compatitibility. Pragma lovers approach their relationships in a business-like fashion and look for partners with whom they can share common goals

34
Q

Possessive love
- Lee

A

Based on elation and depression
Mania lovers are characterized by having extreme highs and lows. This style usually results from low self-esteem and a need to be loved by one’s partners. Possessiveness and jealousy are common issues in this love style

35
Q

Altruistic love
- Lee

A

Based on selflessness and compassion
This style of love is characterized by compassion, selflessness, and sacrifice. It is condifered to be a spiritual love, offered without concern for personal reward or gain.

36
Q

Emotionele intimiteit

A

Wederzijdse zelfonthulling, verbaal delen een verklaringen van het leuk vinden en houden van de ander, demonstraties van affectiviteit

37
Q

Self-disclosure

A

Houdt in dat je je partner persoonlijke zaken over jezelf verteld, wat zorgt voor meer intimiteit en vebondenheid.

38
Q

Hechtingstheorie van Liefde
- Hazan en Shaver

A

Onze vroege hechting heeft invloed op hoe we relaties aangaan als volwassenen. De perceptie van de kwaliteit van de relatie met elke ouder was belangrijk
- veilige lovers
- angstige of vermijdende lovers
- angstige-ambivalente lovers

39
Q

Veilige lovers

A

Vinden het makkelijk om hecht te worden met anderen, en voelen zich op hun gemak als anderen zich hechten voelen tot hen 53%
- vertrouwen, commitment, intimiteit, zelfertrouwen, openstaan voor openvaring

40
Q

Angstige of vermijdende lovers

A

Zijn oncomfortable met het hecht voelen tot een ander en dat een anderen zich hecht voelen naar hen 26%
- weinig vertrouwen, afhankelijkheid, verminderde gevoelens van intimiteit, verminderde tevredenheid van de relatie

41
Q

Angstige-ambivalente lovers

A

Willen wanhopig hechter worden tot de partner, maar vinden vaak dat de partner dit gevoel niet beantwoordt 20%
- onzekerheid, zorgen of de ander wel écht van hen houdt

42
Q

Passionele liefde

A

Toestand van intense fysiologische opwinding en intens verlangen om samen te zijn met die ander

43
Q

Companionate liefde

A

Gevoel van diepe gehechtheid en toewijding aan een persoon waarmee je een intieme reltie hebt

44
Q

Neurochemia passionele liefde

A
  • Prolactine: wordt verhoogt na orgasme, en zorgt voor hechting.
  • Oxytocine: draagt bij aan lange-termijn relaties, en vertrouwen.
  • Dopamine.
45
Q

Neurochemie companionate liefde

A
  • oxytocine
  • vasopressine
46
Q

Neurochemie liefde

A

Verminderde activiteit in hypothalamus, amygdala en somatosensorische cortex, vergeleken met seksueel verlangen (= doel georiënteerd)

47
Q

Crossculturele aspecten van liefde

A
  • individualistisch: meer individuele doelen
  • collectivistisch: meer nadruk op groeps- en collectievee doelen
  • Amerika: passionele liefde
  • Chinees: huewlijk op basis van status
  • Mannen: meer waarde aan voortplanting
  • Vrouwen: meer waarde aan resources
48
Q

Soorten communicatie

A
  • kritiek: elkaar aanvallen
  • contempt: opzettelijk beledigen/misbruiken
  • verdediging: ontkennen en excuses
  • terugtrekking: negeren of weglopen
49
Q

Goede communicatie

A
  • intent: wat de spreker bedoeld
  • impact: wat de andere persoon denk dat de spreker bedoeld
  • effective communicator: intent en impact matchen
50
Q

Mind reading

A

Invullen van wat de andere persoon gaat zeggen of denkt.
- niet goed

51
Q

Documenting

A

Specifieke voorbeelden geven van het probleem
- goed

52
Q

Leveling

A

Betekent dat je je partner vertelt wat je voelt door je gedachten duidelijk, simpel en eerlijk te vertellen, wat vaak erg lastig kan zijn

53
Q

Editing

A

Het censureren/niet zeggen van dingen die je partner kunnen kwetsen of irrelevant zijn