Week 7 - Part A. Friendship Flashcards
What is friendship?
Voluntary, personal, typically providing intimacy and assistance
Two-parties like one another and seek each others company
Friendships are critical sources of support & enjoyment
One study found that unmarried adults “____%” of them considered friendship their most intimate/involved current relationship
36%
Typically we more enjoyment and excitement with friends than just with a spouse
Close friends feel “________, _________, & _________”
Affection (like/trust each other), communion (vulnerable) & companionship (share interests/activities)
What are similarities VS differences in friendship and romantic love?
Similarities:
- characterized by POSTIVE/WARM evaluations of partner
Differences:
- romantic love includes FASCINATION, SEXUAL DESIRE, and stronger DESIRE FOR EXCLUSIVITY
- romantic love is more demanding (more assistance and loyalty)
- bc of this ^^^ friendlys tend to be LESS emotionally intense
What are the 4 factors that characterize rewarding intimate relationships among friends AND among lovers?
- Respect (tend to admire them, hold high self-esteem)
- Trust (feel comfortable and relaxed in relationship)
- Capitalization (their excitement for our own achievements can increase our own happiness)
- Social support
What can social support include?
Social support determines our happiness more than our “_______”
- emotional support (affection, reassurance)
- advice support (guidance)
- physical comfort (hugs, cuddling)
- material comfort (money or other goods— tangible)
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Income
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***HIGHER AMOUNTS OF ALL 4 OF THESE TEND TO BE STRONGER RELATIONSHIPS & PERSONAL WELL-BEING
***INCOME HAS LESS OF AN IMPACT ON HAPPINESS COMPARED TO SOCIAL SUPPORT
Emotional support has real “___________” impacts
Effective social support creates “_________”
Some individuals are “________” providers of social support than others
The best support fits our “_____/________”
Physiological; closeness; better; needs/preferences
True or false. People who have affectionate partners tend to have lower stress hormones, blood pressure and cholesterol levels
True
Types of social support creating closeness does matter…
A study on law students studying for their exam found that they preferred more “___________” support (like making dinner), over “__________” support which made them more anxious
Materialistic; emotional
True or false. It’s not what people DO for us, its what we THINK they do for us that really MATTERS
True
Our personal characteristics have an impact upon our PERCEPTIONS of social support
Insecure attachment styles tend to perceive support as more inconsiderate
What is responsiveness?
What is perceived partner reponsiveness?
Responsiveness: SUPPORTIVE & ATTENTIVE recognition of our interests/needs
Perceived partner responsiveness: judgement that our partner is CARING, RESPECTFUL & SUPPORTIVE in terms of our needs/desires
***WE ARE DRAWN TOWARDS THESE TYPES OF PEOPLE (valued & understood)
Perceived partner responsiveness is (+) correlated with what?
Intimacy
Self-disclosure
Trust
Interdependency
Better sleep
Lower stress hormone productions
True or false. The rules of friendship are articulated explicitly
False
They rather tend to be SHARED CULTURAL beliefs regarding what behaviours friends shouldn’t and should engage in
We learn these in CHILDHOOD
Seem to be UNIVERSAL
True or false. Women tend to have especially high standards for friends (in comparison to men)
Expect more…
Loyalty
Self-disclosure
Enjoyment
Similarities
What are some typical “rules of friendship”
Don’t nag
Keep confidences
Show emotional support
Help in time of need
Trust and confide
Share news of success
Don’t be jealous of each others relationships
Stand up for them in his/her absence
Seek to repay debts, favour and compliments
Strive to make him/her happy when together
How is friendship typically in childhood?
Why is cognitive development important?
Children have FAVOURITE PLAYMATES
As they mature their friendships become more RICHER & COMPLEX
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As they gain cognitive skills they tend to..
= appreciate others perspectives
= understand their goals/desires
What are the interpersonal needs in…
Early elementary years
Preadolescence
Teenage years
Early elementary years = acceptance
Preadolescence = intimacy (friendships have vulnerability and disclosure)
Teenage years = sexuality (typically develop interest)
**THE NEW NEEDS ARE ADDED TO THE PREVIOUS NEEDS
**CAN BE DIFFICULT WHEN THEY DON’T AQUIRE THE INTERPERSONAL NEEDS PREVIOUS
How is friendship typically in adolescence?
What are their 4 attachment needs?
Spend LESS time w/ their families and MORE time w/ their PEERS
- study in Chicago, 5th graders spent 35% of time w/ family
- highschool seniors spent about 14% of time w/ family
Start turning more frequently to their FRIENDS for the satisfaction of their attachment needs:
- Proximity seeking (approaching near/keeping contact)
- Separation protest
- Safe haven
- Secure base (using this figure as a foundation for exploring new enviros)
***GRADUALLY SHIFT THESE FROM THEIR CAREGIVERS TO THEIR FRIENDS AT THIS AGE
How is friendship typically in young adulthood?
Period during LATE teens and TWENTIES when according to Erik Erikson (1950), the primary task is “intimacy over isolation”
Leaving HOME to go to SCHOOL = dramatically influences relationships (tend to be replaced from home)
After college, people tend to interact w/ LESS FRIENDS
- but the ones they do have are more interdependent and stronger
How is friendship typically midlife?
What is dyadic withdrawal?
When people SETTLE DOWN w/ a romantic partner they spend LESS time w/ friends & families
***Works best for friends to become more common b/w spouses
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When people SETTLE DOWN w/ a romantic partner they spend LESS time w/ friends & families
How is friendship typically in old age?
What is socioemotional selectivity theory?
Elderly tend to have SMALLER SOCIAL NETWORKS and FEWER friends
Much MORE SELECTIVE, spending LESS time w/ casual friends
Live longer, happier and healthier lives if the relationship is healthy & fulfilling
————————————————————————————-
Amount elderly, life seems for FINITE, they empathize EMOTIONAL FULFILLMENT over INFORMATION ACQUISTION (which young ppl prioritize)
***realization happens to younger people when their lives become cut short (illness, accident etc…)
What do women friendships tend to include?
More strongly characterized by…
- EMOTIONAL SHARING
- SELF-DISCLOSURE
- MORE VUNERABLE
- Talk w/ friends about RELATIONSHIPS & ISSUES
What do men friendships tend to include?
More strongly characterized by…
- SHARED ACTIVITIES
- COMPANIONSHIP
- COMPETITION
The gender differences in friendship seem to be mostly driven by “_________ ______” & “________ _______”
Cultural norms; gender roles
“___________” tends to predict how self-disclosing men will be
Why is this?
Expressibility
Because traditionally they are more INSTRUMENTAL
Approximately “__/__” heterosexual individuals have close LGB friends
“___%” of LGB individuals have close heterosexual friends
1/6; 80%
***heterosexual ppl are often less diverse in friend connections
What are relational self-construals?
(Individual differences in relationships)
The extent that we PERCEIVE ourselves as INTERDEPENDENT instead of INDEPENDENT
[HIGH relational self-construals = relationship tend to be a central component, want to better understand themselves and others, more common in collectivist regions]
What are personality traits?
(Individual differences in friendship)
The dark triad:
- narcissism (selfishness)
- machiavelliansim (think its okay to take advantage of ppl)
- psychopathy (impulsive, hostile)
True or false. Individuals who are shy/loney, typically don’t care to have close friendships
More than “__/__” Americans live alone
“________” friendships are less common than they used to be
False
They typically WANT close friendships, but behave in ways that make this challenging
—————————————————————————————-
1/8
————————————————————————————-
Intimate
What is shyness?
What happens to people who are chronically shy?
Feeling anxious/inhibited around others and worrying what they think of you
Over 80% of people have experienced shyness
COMMON in unfamiliar place w/ strangers (high status, or attractive)
LESS COMMON in familiar place, w/ ppl we know well
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Have (-) evaluation
Tend to DOUBT themselves (poor-self regard)
Lower levels of SOCIAL SKILLS
Shyness can also be dependent on “_________” according to the “Doing better with an excuse study”
Where they studied “soft” and “loud” situations and listened to their heartbeat (LOW vs HIGH shyness)
Context
What is loneliness?
What are the 2 types of loneliness?
Unpleasant boredom, desperation and sadness
Significant discrepancy b/w…
NUMBER/QUALITY of relationships that we HAVE
&
NUMBER/QUALITY of relationships we WANT
——————————————————————————————-
Weiss (1973) argued that we can experience 2 types of loneliness:
- Social loneliness (social network lacking)
- Emotional loneliness (affection lacking)
What physiological changes can happen to to the body b/c of loneliness?
Higher blood pressure
Higher levels of stress hormone production
Poor sleep
Impoverished immune system functioning
What is the good and the bad news about loneliness?
GOOD: loneliness is OFTEN a temporary state
BAD: many personal characteristics associated w/loneliness are LASTING
***it is HERITABLE ~45%
“______” tend to be lonelier than “________”
Why?
Men; women
Since women have CLOSE relationships w/ other women, typically experience intimacy even when not dating
Loneliness can lead to what?
Mistrusting/disliking someone who they seek acceptance from
Depression
Seeking excessive reassurance (barely believe this when given)
What are some ways to surmount loneliness?
Thinking of experiences that involve FRIENDSHIP/BELONGING
Attributing distress to unstable, SHORT-lived impacts (rather than lasting issues)
SEEK out friendships
