Week 12 - The Dissolution & Loss Of Relationships Flashcards
What is the prevalence of divorce?
Chance of divorce is around 50% (US)
Change of divorce is around 40% (CA)
- Newfoundland is lowest (~17%)
- Quebec is highest (~50%)
Only 64% of married couples stay together for 10 years
Less than half of married couples make it to their 21st wedding anniversary
Average length of marriage is 18 years
What are some reasons why divorce rates are so high?
- We have higher expectations for marriage:
- that previous generations had ^^
- viewed as something should be exciting
- quality of marriage has gone down since the 1970’s - Most women work outside the home:
- more hours wife works = lower quality of marriage
- worse when the wife works with lots of men
- higher when women are financially stable
- higher when there is money issues (poverty) - Gender roles are changing:
- women more self-reliant and more assertive
- household chores divided more fairly
= husbands less happy, woman more happy - Western culture is becoming more individualistic:
- less connected
- less likely to live close to relatives
- less likely to know our neighbours
- entertain at home less often
- move around more often
- receive less social support = rely more on spouse - Most couples cohabit before marriage:
- causal cohabitation = less respect for marriage - Kids who experience divorce of their parents are more likely to divorce:
- less (+) views of marriage
- less trust in their partners
- struggle to know how to behave in relationship bc of what they have seen in their parents relationship
What are the 3 parts of Levinger’s barrier model?
- Attraction (enhanced by rewards, diminished by cost)
- Alternatives (alternative of being single, or partners)
- Barriers (religious, moral constraints, financial costs etc…)
Do unhappy spouses often stay together due to psychological or material constraints?
Yes
Feelings of guilt, embarrassing, shame or they don’t wanna hurt their children
In one survey (couples married for 12 years) said which worries are influential barriers that would lower the probability for divorce?
Worry that children would suffer
Threat of losing children
Religious norms
Dependence on spouses
Fear of financial ruin
***THESE ARE DIFFERENT/UNEFFECTIVE IF MARRIAGE MISERY IS PRESENT
What is Kearney and Bradbury’s vulnerability-stress-adaptation model?
3 influences contribute to divorce:
- Enduring vunerabilities
- increase risk of divorce
- weak social skills
- dysfunctional family circumstances - Stressful events
- unemployment
- illness - Adaptive processes
What is the process of adaptation in intimate relationships (PAIR) project?
For almost 30 years, tracked 168 couples who got married in 1981
Focused on how partners adapted to their lives together
Results:
- after 13 years 35% of the couples have divorced
- 20% weren’t happy
- 45% couples stated they were happier married (less happy VS when they were first married
What are the explanations for the PAIR project results?
- Enduring dynamics model:
- spouses each bring their problems and their long lasting vunerabilities into marriage
- marriage = may be weaker from the get go
***GOOD PREDICTOR FOR HOW HAPPY THE MARRIAGE WILL BE - Emergent distress model:
- couples struggle after being married
- struggle increasing conflict/negativity - Disillusionment model:
- may hurt their marriage w/ really romanticized views of their relationship
- time goes on = care less about being charming = reality sets in
***BEST PREDICTOR OF DIVORCE
What are the 3 overarching influences on marital outcomes?
- Cultural contexts:
- discrimination against divorce in culture - Personal contexts:
- social network friends/family - Relational context:
- intimate environment couples create within their social environment and how they perceive this
What are some GENERAL predictors of divorce (among heterosexual and homosexual couples)?
Socioeconomic status
Race
Sex ratios
Social mobility
No-fault legislation
Working women
Age at marriage
Prior marriage
Parental divorce
Religion
Teenage sex
Premarital cohabitation
Premarital birth
Children
Stepchildren
Similarity
Personality attributes
Attachment styles
Genetics
Genetics
Stress hormones
Stressful life events
Time together
Alcohol and drug abuse
Infidelity
Attitudes toward marriage
Marital interactions
Sexual satisfaction
Marital satisfaction
Most divorces are characterized by a “_____” period of “________ & __________”
Long; distress; unhappiness
Baxter found that relationships can differ in their endings depending on….
- Disengagement was DIRECT/INDIRECT:
- most individuals try to use indirect strategies (will try to end it w/out saying that’s what they’re trying to do)
- ex) behave badly = make the other person want to leave you ^^^ - Effort to leave is either OTHER-ORIENTATED/SELF-ORIENTATED:
- other-oriented = trying to protect partners feelings
- self-oriented = selfish reasons ex) announce relationship is over = avoid all contact w/ them after
What are some other distinctions in how individuals end relationships?
- Gradual VS sudden onset of discontent:
- 25% of the time is there a critical incident that changes the course of the relationship
Ex) cheating partner
***MOST COMMON FACTOR (more gradual) - Individual VS shared desire to end relationship:
- 66% of the time only one partner wants to end the relationship - Rapid VS protracted exit:
- most of the time ppl make disguised efforts to end the relationship - Presence or absence of repair attempts:
- no formal effort to repair the relationship
True or false. Divorce is not anymore difficult than a regular “break up”
False
Typical ambivalence and vacillation occurs in BOTH
BUT the process of ending a marriage can take many YEARS
What are the 5 steps to divorce? (Rollie and Duck 2006)
- Personal phase:
- partner becomes increasingly dissatisfied/frustrated - Dyadic phase:
- unhappy partner reveals how unhappy they are and this opens attempts to communicate/consolidate
- common feelings: anger, shock, relief & hurt = unsuccessful = move to social phase - Social phase:
- publicize feelings to family and friends = seek support - Grave-dressing phase:
- mourning for the relationship decreases = cognitive work/relational cleansing to help move on - Resurrection phase:
- ex partners engage in social life as singles
- saying they’re wiser after their experience
