Week 5 - Communication Flashcards
How does communication start?
Senders intentions PRIVATE—-> (encoded)—-> senders actions PUBLIC—-> (decoded)—-> effect on listener PRIVATE
Can be interfered by noise
What is the interpersonal gap?
Senders intention are DIFFERENT from the impact upon the receiver
Occurs more often in communication than we realize
MORE LIKELY to occur in CLOSE RELATIONSHIPS (dissatisfaction)
What is nonverbal behaviour?
What are the 3 important functions it serves?
All of the actions/inactions in interactions with the EXCEPTION of words and syntax (order of words)
Fxns:
1. PROVIDES information
2. REGULATES information
3. DEFINES relationships
List some components of nonverbal communication…
Facial expressions
Gazing behaviour
Body movement
Touch
Interpersonal distance
Smells
Paralanguage
Facial expressions are “___________ _________”
True or false. We tend to be better at identifying emotions expressed from our own cultural groups compared to others
In a study the people who had a “______” smile in their yearbook photo were found to have “______” pleasant experiences in the years after. This is also found with “_______ ______” and less chance of a “________”
Universally understood
—————————————————-
True
—————————————————
Larger; more
Living longer; divorce
Because facial expressions are so crucial some people may try to “______” their emotions
This can occur due to “_______ _______”
Name some ways we might modify our expressions…
Mask
—————————————-
Display rules
—————————————-
-intensify (first date may laugh harder)
-minimize (first data may try not to laugh when they spill drink)
-neutralize (playing poker)
- mask (hiding our feelings w/ different emotion- surprise)
Our pupils “_______” when we look at something that “________” us
Dilate; interests
The amount/direction of looking behaviour is IMPORTANT
Ex) can usually tell who straight or gay when showing them naked photos (naked women vs man)
People typically look at their conversation partners “______” when they are “_________”
Listener will look at the speaker “____%” of the time and speaker will spend around “____%” of the time looking at the listener
People of “______ _____” tend to look more while their speaking and look less while their listening (compared to the average person)
More; listening
60%; 40%
Higher status
Body movements can also “______” spoken words entirely in the form of gestures
Men who seem to be good “_______” seem to be more “_____, _______, and ________”
Replace
Can VARY across cultures
POSTURE & MOTION of the body
Ex) nodding if the food is good
Ex) leaning into someone means you are engaged
————————————————————————
Dancers; open, conscientious, and extroverted
What happened in the Tinder profile example where the girl sat more open bodied vs not?
More people swiped “yes” to the expansive posture
Indicated more self-confidence and status
People with long, firm, and long handshakes tend to be more what…?
EXTRAVERTED
OPEN to experience
LESS neurotic
When people’s relationship are more “________” people tend to “______” each other more
What is this associated with?
Intimate; touch
Loving touches are associated w/ HEALTH BENEFITS (mental & physical health
More kissing = reduced cholesterol
More affectionate touch = reduce stress hormone production
More hugs = make you more resistant to cold/infection
What are the 4 zones in interpersonal distance?
- Intimate zone:
- extends from our chest to 1.5 feet
- typically LOVING or HOSTILE - Personal zone:
- 1.5 - 4 feet away
- FRIENDS SMALLER distance, AQUAINTNACES LARGER distance - Social zone:
- 4 - 12 feet away
- interactions more BUSINESS LIKE - Public zone:
- beyond 12 feet away
- STRUCTURED INTERACTION
- ex. Student and teacher in class
French & Latin cultures tend to stand “_______” together
Men tend to stand “_______” distances compared to women
People typically stand farther away from people with “________” status (in comparison to people with lower status)
Spouses who are unhappy tend to stand “______” away from each other
Closer; further; higher; further
Different emotions are associated with different “___________”
Chemosignals
People who are scared tend to have different smells compared to someone who is disgusted
Tend to acknowledge this ^^^ on an UNCONCIOUS level
Ex) emotions in a movie theatre are gonna change depending on what is evoked
Ex) atomsphere in a classroom with exams vs a regular day
People who are exposed to armpit smells from people who are “________” they tend to feel happier as well
Happy
People who are born without sense of smell tend to be at a “__________ __________”
Give an example…
Interpersonal disadvantage
Ex) males born like this tend to have only 20% as many sexual relationships in their lifetime in comparison to males with a typical sense of smell
What is paralanguage?
Includes all of the changes in an individuals VOICE apart from specific words used
Ex)
Rhythm
Pitch
Loudness
Speech rate
Men’s typically use a “______ ______” when they are with their lovers compared to their friends
Women typically use a “_______ ______” ^^^^
People who listen to a laughing recordings are 61% accurate on guessing whether those people are “________ or ______”
Friends tend to have “_______” and more spontaneous bursts of laughter that are irregular volumes and pitch
Lower pitch
Higher pitch
Friends or not
Shorter
True or false. Women tend to prefer males with a higher-pitched voices
False
They prefer deep and low-pitched voices
People with “_________” voices tend to be more “_______” attractive
Appealing; physically
Ex) presidents tend to have deeper voices
Deep voices = leadership
Women’s voices tend to become “______” attractive just before “____________” (when they are most fertile)
Due to “_________” fluctuations in the larynx
***DOES NOT HAPPEN IN WOMEN TAKING HORMONAL CONTRACEPTION
More; ovulation
Hormonal
When we interact with someone w/in a nonverbal channel, we pay attention to an individuals “_________ & _________”
“_________” can be found in every one of the nonverbal channels- that work collaboratively
Sentiments; intentions
Mimicry
***TEND TO MIMIC SOMEONE MORE WHEN WE LIKE THEM/ATTRACTED TO THEM
Do we prefer when verbal and nonverbal communication match each other?
What happens when they don’t? Do we trust body language over words said?
Yes
Verbal words aren’t matching what they are doing with their body, we tend to be AWARE of that and TRUST body language more
When we are enjoying an interaction we tend to become “___________” w/ the other person
Synchronous
Ex) having a good time with a friend, they lean in you’re likely to lean in as well
What is nonverbal sensitivity?
This is associated with “_________ & _________” in a relationship
Accuracy and sensitivity which couples are able to READ, DECODE, AND INTERPRET one another’s NONVERBAL behaviour
Happiness; satisfaction
Can start to “tune each other out” if the relationship lacks nonverbal sensitivity
True or false. Women aren’t any better at encoding and decoding nonverbal information
False
They DO tend to be better
SKILL and MOTIVATION come into play
Women also spend MORE time looking at their significant others EYES
***True or false. Women’s and men are similar in their abilities to accurately detect deception
True
True or false. With training and practice nonverbal, coding and decoding can improve significantly
True or false. Ability to decode and code can also depend on the profession
True
True- people who have a profession where they have high nonverbal sensitivity tend to bring that into their relationship
What is self-disclosure?
Do people like each other more when they become vulnerable w/ one another?
Revealing PERSONAL INFO about ourselves to others
Yes- even w/ just following researchers instructions
What is social penetration theory?
Give an example
Relationships develop via SYSTEMATIC CHANGES in our COMMUNICATION
Partners typically MATCH each others level of disclosure
Sharing too MUCH too SOON can violate these expectations
Diagram:
- superficial level —> intimate level —> very intimate level
- wedge that’s narrow in shallow becomes DEEPER/BROADER
Ex) most relationships start w/ small talk and gradually move to more meaningful conversations (more depth, more variety)
What is the interpersonal process model of intimacy, and how does genuine intimacy develop?
2 FACTORS
- Our disclosures are typically met w/ RESPONSIVENESS (interest, sympathy and respect)
- BOTH partners ACKNOWLEDGE that the other is being RESPONSIVE (perceived partner responsiveness)
True or false. You should share EVERYTHING (disclosure) in a relationship
False
Even in very intimate relationships we tend to keep SOME information to ourselves
Need to balance DISSCRESION AND RESPECTFULNESS
TABOO TOPICS (sensitive topics that may threaten quality of relationship)
Intimate self-disclosure in combination w/ selective secrecy tends to be associated with “_______ ___________”
Marital satisfaction
The “______” self disclosure romantic couples share the “________” they typically are
More; happier
Generates MORE liking and contentment in relationships
HONEST expressions of love, affection and fondness are REWARDING for individuals that want to be close w/ you
True or false. Individuals that engage in “deep talk” tend to have better health than individuals that engage in “small talk”
True
True or false. People who are assigned to write love letters (to their partners) tend to have better neuro endocrine responses to stress over time (lower cholesterol and heart rates)
True
Women tend to be more likely than men to discuss their “_________” regarding “_______” relationships and other personal elements of their lives
Feelings; close
Men tend to talk more about “__________” topics discussing “_______&_______.” Often discussing celebrities and politicians rather than friends and partners
Impersonal; objects & actions
True or false. Males tend to seek humour more often than support and counsel
True
Women tend to speak in a less “________ _______” in comparison to men
What 3 other things do women tend to do with conversation?
Forceful manner
- More INDIRECT w/ their speech
- More UNCERTAIN (ask more questions)
- Don’t talk as LONG as men, and are more INTERUPTED
True or false. Women don’t disclose any more in intimate relationships than men do
False
Tend to self- disclose MORE than men
Women also ELICIT more self-disclosure from others
Ex. Men do self-disclose more to women than their friends (that are males) might do this to feel less LONELY
Both males and females that are “_______” in “___________” tend to enjoy meaningful & intimate interactions w/ others
High; expressivity
Traditionally “macho males” tend to have “________” discussions w/their closest friends and tend to rely on “_________” company to “_______” feelings of loneliness
Superficial; female; reduce
Males tend to value “__________” communication skills more than women
Women tend to value “__________” communication skills more than men
Instrumental- ability to provide clear instructions/directions
Expressive-
***IN CLOSE RELATIONSHIPS MEN & WOMEN BOTH THINK EXPRESSIVE COMMUNICATION IS MORE IMPORTANT
In miscommunication, individuals tend to engage in a term called “_________-________”
What does this term mean?
Kitchen-sinking:
- addressing NUMEROUS topics at once when they have a COMPLAINT instead of being PRECISE
- topics tend to drift-off beam (TOPIC —> TOPIC)
- one problem not discussed long enough to be RESOLVED
Partners who are unhappy have a difficult time hearing each other, and they might jump to conclusions, this term is called “_____________”
Mindreading:
- when individuals ASSUME they understand their partners thoughts, opinions and ideas W/OUT even asking
Seen in intimate relationships, but more detrimental in unhappy relationships
Partners who are unhappy often will engage in the term “___-_______” or the term “_____-_______”
Yes-butting:
- always finding something WRONG/UNWORKABLE with what their partners SAY
- ends up communicating CRITICSM
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Cross-complaining:
- instead of TRYING to understand, the complaint their partner is communicating, they RESPOND w/a complaint of their OWN
- or respond w/ a sarcastic regard
Name 5 concepts unhappy partnerships often contain…
(Miscommunication)
- Clumsy criticisms (attack a partners personality or character)
- Contempt (insults, hostile humour, mockery)
- Defensiveness (protect themselves w/ excuses, cross-complaining)
- Stonewalling (withdrawal, give partner silent treatment)
- Belligerence (partner acts aggressively & attacks the other- “what are you gonna do about it”)
When characterized by these patterns… long-term outlook for the relationship is BLEAK
Describe 3 different ways to help dysfunctional communication…
- Saying what WE MEAN…
- behaviour description: focus on DISCRETE, MANAGEABLE behaviours (unlike personalities), that often can change
***AVOID THE WORDS “ALWAYS” OR “NEVER” - Using I-STATEMENTS to SPECIFY our FEELINGS…
- lead us to identify our feelings
- can be useful to ourselves/partner - Using XYZ state to to integrate these ^^^…
- “when you do X in Y I feel Z”
What does it mean to active listen?
2 FACTORS
How can this be accomplished?
2 WAYS
1) ACCURATELY understand what our parter is TRYING to say
2) COMMUNICATE our ATTENTION/COMPREHENSION to our patterns so they KNOW we have UNDERSTOOD/CARE about what they have said
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^^^ Can be accomplished by PARAPHRASING a message
^^^ or by PERCEPTION CHECKING (assessing accuracy of our inferences, by asking the partner for clarification)
“__________ _________” is the OPPOSITE of mindreading
Perception checking
Even tho XYZ statements and active listening can help reduce negative interactions, when angry it’s HARD to implement them
What is another 2 key ways to manage communication?
- Staying POLITE and COOL
- When provoked by a partner and being able to CALM DOWN are VERY VALUABLE skills
- VALIDATION
- we acknowledge the LEGITIMACY of our partners OPINIONS
- communicates respect
- does NOT mean you agree w/ your partner
