Week 6 - Interdependency Flashcards
We are seeking the most “___________” relationships that are available to us
Satisfying
What is social exchange?
MUTUAL exchange of DESIRABLE rewards
We do this in a relationship
What are the rewards and costs in social exchange?
How do you get an outcome?
Rewards: interactions are DESIRABLE and ENHANCE joy/fufillment
Costs: interactions are PUNISHING/UNDESIRABLE experiences
Outcome = rewards - costs
The net reward or net cost
***ISNT AS IMPORTANT AS OUR EXPECTATIONS/PERCEPTIONS ^^
What the comparison level in relationships? (CL)
State the “equation”…
The VALUE of the OUTCOMES that we EXPECT we DESERVE in our relationship w/ others
*Individuals who have HISTORY of very rewarding partnerships = HIGH CL’s
VS
*Individuals who have a HISTORY of TROUBLED partnerships = LOWER CL’s
Outcomes - CL = satisfaction/dissatisfaction
***HOW MUCH YOUR OUTCOMES SURPASS YOUR CL LEVEL
What is comparison level for alternatives? (CLalt)
This determines our “___________” on our relationships
We use this to determine whether we could DO BETTER in a DIFFERENT partnership
The OUTCOMES you would receive by LEAVING your relationship and moving towards BEST ALTERNATIVE (you have available)
—————————————————————————————-
Dependence
Greater the gap b/w our CURRENT outcome and poor alternatives = increases dependence
When other partners or being “ _______” seem “_________” our CLalt goes up
What investments do we have to consider?
Single; attractive
LOWER CLalt = tends to be happier/secure relationships
- These are the things we would LOSE in our current relationship
- These ^^^ IMPACT our decision to STAY/LEAVE our partner
Does interdependence theory tend to treat satisfaction & dependence as fairly INDEPENDENT influences upon relationships?
What does the “equation” look like?
Yes
HOWEVER they are actually associated w/ each other
Outcomes - CLalt = dependence/independence
**WHEN OUTCOMES EXCEED CLS TEND TO BE SATISFIED
** WHEN OUTCOMES EXCEED CLalt TEND TO DEPEND UPON THEIR PARTNER
According to the 3 factors: CLs, CLaltS, and outcomes…
4 different types of relationships result:
- Happy, stable relationships
- Happy, but unstable relationships
- Unhappy, unstable relationship
- Unhappy, but stable relationship
What is the principle of lesser interest?
The partner who DEPENDS LESS on a relationship has MORE power
Ex) think of Betty and Barney’s outcomes
Betty has more power because she has better CLalt (it’s closer to the outcome line)
What happens to CL and CLalt as time goes by?
If you marry an individual who SEEMS perfect, they always have dinner ready for you, they are always doing thoughtful things
CL may go up, but your OUTCOMES remain the SAME
^^^satisfaction may decrease
Basically you get used to it and take it for advantage
Compared to out grandparents, this generation has a strong expectation for relationships to be “________” instead of pleasant and “______ ________” instead of fine
Magical; deeply fulfilling
On average North American marriages are “____” happy in comparison to how they were 30 years ago
What is this due to?
Less
May be DUE to higher CLs and CLalts
What has happened with the increase in CLalts?
Women GREATER participation in the workforce
People are more MOBILE now than before (options more diverse)
Internet (dating apps)
Barriers AGAINST divorce have WEAKENED (legal/social barriers)
***WHEN CL AND CLalts are HIGH PEOPLE FIND THEMSELVES PRETTY UNHAPPY
What is the reward-to-cost ratio minimally needed to remain satisfied in a close relationship?
5-to-1
Negative tends to be more impactful, so NEED to keep positive higher
This was found in a study
What typically happens with fearful attachment styles?
They often DONT notice the positive and loving things their partners do for them
Partners also tend to disagree about the MEANING/VALUE of rewards being exchanged in a partnership
For people who are married…what did the women VS the men say when asked what would you want more of in your relationship?
MEN: sex
WOMEN: more emotional connection
In relationships, we try to obtain “________” and we try to avoid “________”
What concept does this relate to?
Rewards; costs
Relates to approach motivation VS avoidance motivation
What is the self-expansion model of human motivation?
We tend to be ATTRACTED to relationships which NUTURE our range of interests, skills and experiences
NUTURE your own growth as well and seek NOVEL experiences
As time goes by, after a period of initial bliss, most relationships will hit a “___”
Lull (pleasure/satisfaction will stall)
CAN get past this lull/revaluation, then relationship will become even MORE satisfying
What is relational turbulence model?
We should expect a period of adjustment as 2 individuals become ACCUSTOMED to their growing INTERDEPENDENCE
Can disrupt our individual routine, have to become adjusted
Consider how this affects friends as well
What is the typical trajectory of marital bliss?
What % of couples don’t experience this?
Gradual reduction in SATISFACTION
About 25% of couples don’t experience significant decline in their satisfaction
These couples tend to have…
- low in neuroticism
- high in self-esteem
- discuss challenging issues w/ affection/humour
- encounter few stressors
What are 5 unanticipated costs in relationships?
- Lack of effort (stop trying to be so charming over time)
- Interdependency (is a magnifying glass, tends to heighten both conflict & friction)
- Access to weaponry (intimacy, partner knows your strength/weaknesses)
- Unwelcome surprises
- Unrealistic expectations (having kids for example)
Are we greedy, do we want a good deal?
Yes? No?
We become DEPENDENT among our partners
We place a stronger IMPORTANCE on keeping our partners happy
Increases that desired rewards will continue
***WANT TO BOTH DEPEND ON EACH OTHER THE SAME AMOUNT
Compare exchange VS communal relationships…
Exchange relationships:
- one partner does a favour for the other EXPECTING to be REPAID by receiving comparable benefits in return
- usually track/monitor
- superficial/brief/task-oriented type relationship
Communal relationships:
- partners feel a strong CONCERN for the others well-being
- provide support/favours for the other W/OUT expecting any repayment
- supports BETTER marriages/relationships
What is communal strength?
MOTIVATION for responsiveness towards a partners NEEDS
ENJOY making sacrifices for their partners
What are equitable relationships?
Individuals who tend to be MOST satisfied in their relationships have PROPORTIONAL JUSTICE
Don’t wanna OVER or UNDER benefit
Each partner gains benefits which are proportional to their contributions
What is the distress of inequity?
(Underbenefited/overbenefited partners)
Underbenefited: UNHAPPY bc they ate being EXPLOITED, may start to feel angry/resentful
Overbenefited: doing WELL, but may feel GUILTY
What are the 2 domains where equity is very important?
- Household tasks
- Child care
Divided equally = satisfied relationship (cohabited and gay/lesbian more so do this)
Committed partners tend to…
Have the expectation that their partnership will CONTINUE
View of their FUTURE
PSYCHOLOGICALLY attached to each other
What is the investment model?
Commitment level depends on
1. Satisfaction level
2. Investments/commitment
This is impeded w/ quality of alternatives - tend to be LOW
What are the limitations of the investment model?
What are the 3 types of commitment?
Strong influence is how SATISFYING your relationship will be in the future (forecast)
This model treats commitment as a UNITARY concept
BUT THERE ARE MULTIPLE TYPES…
Types of commitment:
- personal (most important)
- constraint (too much of a cost to leave)
- moral (moral obligation, improper to end a relationship (promises))
“______” commitment tends to be more important in LONG-TERM relationships than constraint or personal commitment
Moral
What are 4 consequences of commitment? (Long-term)
- Tend to be better to able to weather episodes of HIGH COST & LOW REWARD
- Start to view themselves as a SINGLE ENTITY “Us” not “me” (reduces cost of sacrifices)
- Leads ppl to protect and maintain relationship
- Derogation of tempting alternatives
