Week 3 - Attraction Flashcards
What is interpersonal attraction?
Desire to approach someone
We tend to be attracted to someone whose presence is “__________ ___ ___”
What are the 2 rewards that influence attraction?
Rewarding to us
2 rewards:
- Direct rewards (humour, beauty guidance etc…)
- more direct = more attraction - Indirect rewards (name likeness, look likeness… we don’t realize)
Attraction is influenced by? (4)
- PERCEIVED CHARACTERISTICS of the individual who appeals to us
- Our current NEEDS
- Our current GOALS
- Our current DESIRES
What is instrumentality?
The degree to which an individual is able to assist us in achieving our current goals
PLAYS HUGE ROLE in whether we find someone attractive
How does physical proximity affect attraction?
Tends to determine whether or not we meet them
Our friendships and romances often form on the basis of interactions with others who are CLOSE by
Ex) sitting arrangement back in school
How does the mere exposure effect influence attraction?
REPEATED contact with someone typically INCREASES our liking of them
How does familiarity have its limits?
As we learn more information about others, we can find out that they are inept, disagreeable, obnoxious, etc.
Increased exposure to these individuals will lead to even LESS liking
What usually happens in long-term relationships?
When partners have to separate and they are committed to their relationship, their conversations tend to be…
Longer
More personal
More positive
More likely to avoid touchy topics
** end up constructing idealized images of their relationships
**couples who do get back together after long distance tend to break up after 3 months
“________” meetings are the 2nd most common way that “___________ ________” meet (after meeting VIA friends)
“________” meetings are the most common way that “____ & _______ _______” meet
Online; heterosexual couples
Online; gay & lesbian couples
Typically we assume that’s individuals who are good-looking are…?
- Likeable
- Better human beings
What are some more characteristics we assume that attractive people have?
Kind, strong, outgoing, sensitive, sexually warm, interesting, poised, sociable etc…
***We also assume they are MORE PROMISCUOUS
True or false. We tend to confuse beauty with talent
True
Physically attractive individuals make more money and are promoted more than individuals with average looks
Individuals who are attractive tend to make $230,000 more in a lifetime compared to an average looking person
True or false. Depending on a women’s menstrual cycle they might consider a feminine or masculine face more attractive
True
When software is used to create “_________ _______” these are seen as “________ ________”
Composite faces; more attractive
***Symmetry is KEY
Men find women more attractive when they are “_______” weight and their “_______” more narrow than their “_____”
Normal; waist; hips
(0.7 ideal)
They find this more important than bust size
Male attractive is more complex (less people agree globally). What are the preferences?
Typically when waist slightly more narrow than hips (if he owns a strong salary)
Broad shoulders and muscles are attractive = studies show they have sex with more women and at a younger age
“__________” men and women prefer partnerships where the man is taller than the women (more important for women)
“_______” is also very important as well
Heterosexual; smell
What are some more things that are considered pretty?
Women are considered more attractive to males when they have longer hair
Women prefer men with chests that are smooth and less hairy
Women also prefer smart males
Women/men look more attractive in red
Infants are born with the “_______” references for facial beauty that “_______” have
Born; adults
What do individuals with symmetrical faces typically have?
Tend to have symmetrical bodies and tend to have better mental and physical health
Women with WHRs around “___” tend to get “_______” more easily and tend to have better physical health
Man with WHR of around “___” is likely to be in better health
0.7; pregnant; 0.9
When women are fertile, they are more likely to what?
They wear more make-up
They dress more provocatively showing more skin
They are 3x more likely to wear red
They tend to be more flirtatious towards attractive males
They are more willing to slow dance with a stranger
What do cultural researchers argue about ovulatory shifts?
That these shifts are very SUBTLE and hard to replicate
When a cultures food supply is simply unreliable…?
Slender women are LESS desirable than heavy women
Black and Latina men are attracted to “_________’ women, but still prefer the “_____” WHR that is universally appealing
Heavier; 0.7
During speed dates, is physical appearance important?
Its the strongest influence on liking
Friendly, outgoing people are well liked BUT…?
Their LOOKS tend to more important
Men tend to “______” more about a partners look
Care
***BUT there is NO correlation between female beauty and the amount of time spent interacting with males
*** HOWEVER more attractive males seem to have more interaction with women
Attractive people tend to be more…?
Popular
Less lonely
More socially skilled
Happier
Have sex with a larger array of individuals if they wish
What are some disadvantages with beauty?
People tend to tell more LIES to attractive people
People are more likely to misrepresent their interests, income & personality in order to get close
Sometimes because of this attractive people can become mistrusting ^^^
What is “matching” in physical attractiveness?
When do “mismatches” happen?
Partners in romantic relationships tend to be SIMILAR in physical attractiveness
People want to settle for the BEST LOOKING partner who will take you in return
This is why husbands and wives are very similar in physical attractiveness ^^^
Mismatches in partners are more likely when partners were FRIENDS before the romance developed
What is “mate value”?
Overall attractiveness as a reproductive partner
Our LIFE HISTORY tends to teach acception/rejection and what we can usually EXPECT from our romantic partners
Women who are very attractive tend to want to have an attractive partner, with good father skills, economic prosperity
People can run into problems when they overestimate their DESIRABILITY (they cant get the mate that they really want)
People who are nervous/shy tend to expect less of themselves and pursue less attractive partners
What is “best acceptance”?
Often comes from potential romantic partners who are SELECTIVE and DON’T offer acceptance to everyone
NOT the same as playing hard to get
BUT being selectively hard to get can be advantageous
Do we like those who are similar to ourselves?
YES it is rewarding to find individuals that share similar background, interests & tastes
Our closest friendships tend to with individuals who share much in common with us
Demographic similarity (age, sex, race etc…), attitudes & values, personalities
***VERY IMPORTANT TRAITS OF PERSONALITY:
(both agreeable, conscientious, emotionally stable)
The vast majority of our intimate relationships tend to be with individuals of the “________ _______”
Same race
Different ethnic groups around 15% of the time
Individuals in ethic relationships tend to what?
Have had closer contact with individuals of other ethnicities & tend to be significantly MORE accepting of other cultures
Tend to live in regions where potential partners from the same ethnic background are scarce
Are just as SATISFIED as other couples (same rates of divorce)
Do opposites attract?
No
In general the more 2 individuals are alike the more liking they have for each other
Perceived similarity is important
What is Mursteins (1987) stimulus-value-role theory?
We gain 3 main types of information about our partners as our new relationship PROGRESSES…
1) Stimulus: when we first meet, our attraction is based primarily upon AGE, SEX AND LOOKS
2) Value: as our relationship progresses, our attraction is dependent upon the SIMILARITY in our attitudes and beliefs
3) Role: When we discover whether we agree on the FUNDAMENTAL COMPONENTS of parenting, work, and housecleaning
What is fatal attraction?
A quality that INITIALLY attracts one individual to another gradually becomes one of the MOST IRRITATING characteristics about the individual
What does the term “you may be the person I want to become” mean?
People tend to ADMIRE others who have skills/abilities that they WISH THEY HAD
We are attracted to others who are similar to our ideal selves
THIS MAY become threatening and unpleasant since the other individual can make us look bad in comparison
Most appealing partner:
Those who are similar to us in MOST domains, but also conform to our attainable ideals in OTHER domains
True or false. Dissimilarity will not decrease over time
False
It definitely CAN as relationships have the power to CHANGE people
Personalities do not change drastically, but attitudes can become more similar over time
Some dissimilarity can occur automatically as the relationship goes on
Our can occur consciously if they seek compatibility/companionship
True or false. It tends to be most rewarding for our partners to agree with us on the issues that are most important to us
True
Housework & gender roles are important similarities
What are some commodities that people use to attract more desirable partners?
Fame
Wealth
Health
Talent
Looks ex) sugar daddy and young attractive wife
What do men and women desire for sexual selection? (Evolutionary perspective)
Men:
- better odds of reproducing if they mate with women who are healthy and fertile
- promoted male interest in young/beautiful partners
Women:
- don’t need to be as concerned about youth in male partners
- males typically maintain a capacity to reproduce for as long as they live
Women care “_______” about a partners “_________ ________” than men do
More; financial prospects
What does the cultural perspective argue on why women pursue valuable resources through partners?
Because they are frequently DENIED direct assess to political/economic power
How can “opposites” attract =?
1) Instrumentality: we like RESPONSES from other individuals that can help us to reach our GOALS (ex. Partners that have different skill sets)
2) Complementarity: REACTIONS which provide a good fit to our OWN ACTIONS (attractive quality)
***CHALLENGE OUR PERSONAL GROWTH
Men and women typically search for partners who are…?
Warm, loyal, trustworthy, kind, supportive & understanding
***Attractive (important for SHORT FLING)
Outgoing
Financially secure
Living well/comfortably
***consider this on a long term relationship or a short term fling
Male priorities for a long-term relationship?
- Warmth/loyalty
- Attractiveness
- Status
Women priorities for a long-term relationship?
- Warmth/loyalty
- Status/resources
- Attractiveness
What are the universally top 4 traits that are sought for in a relationship partner? (Heterosexual & homosexual)
What are the dealbreakers?
Intelligence
Humor
Kindness
Dependability
———————————————-
Abusive/untrustworthy
Poor health
Poor hygiene
***Women tend to be more cautious and more selective
