Interpersonal Communicaiton Chapt. 9 Flashcards
Interpersonal Conflict
Exists when there is expressed tension between people who are independent.
Expressed Tension
Conflict exists only if disagreements or tensions are expressed
Interdependence
Conflict can only occur between people who percieve themsekves as interdependent at the time of the conflict.
Percieved Incompatible Goals
We expirience conflict when we percieve what we want is wanted by a person with whom we are interdependent
Felt Need for Resolution
Conflict involves tensions between goals, preferences, or descions that we feel we need to reconcile.
2 perceptions to Resolutions
1.the perception that what we want is at odds with what another person wants.
2.the perception that we and that other person must resolve our differences.
Principles of conflict
- Conflict is Natural in Most western relationships
- Conflict may be expressed Overtly or Covertly
- Social groups hape the meaning of conflict behaviors
- Conflict can be managed well or poorly
- Conflict can be good for individuals and relationships
Lose-Lose Orientation
Assumes that conflict results in losses for everyone and is unhealthy and destructive for relationships.
Win-Lose Orientation
Assumes that one person wins at the expense of the other. One person gains and one loses. (Put up a fight or walk away)
Win-Win Orientations
Assume that there are usually ways to resolve differences so that everyone gains. When all people are commited to finding a mutually acceptable solution.
EXIT response to conflict
Involves physcially walking out or psychologically wuthdrawing from the conflict.
NEGLECT response to conflict
Denies or minimizes problems, disagreenents, anger, tension, or other matter that could lead to overt conflict. Passive because it avoid discussion.
LOYALTY response to conflict
Involves staying commited to a relationship dispite differences.Loyalty is silent allegiance that doesn’t actively address conflict, so it is a passive response
VOICE response to conflict
Addresses conflict directly and attempts to resolve it. people who respond with voice identify problems or tensions and assert a desire to deal with them. Voice implies that a person cares.
Unproductive Conflict Communication
Patterns in managing conflict reflect a preoccupation with oneself and disregard for the other
Kitchen-Sinking
Everything except the kitchen sink is thrown into an argument.
Early Stage(Arguement)
The first 3 minutes of an argument may be the most important because they tend to set the stage for how conflict will be managed. The foundation of unproductive conflict is established by communication that fails to confirm individual
Middle Stages(Arguement)
Once a negative climate has been set, it is stoked by other unconstructive communication. Kitchen Sinking.
Later Stages(Argument)
The early and middle stages didn’t lay the proper groundwork for an effective discussion of solutions. As a result, each person’s proposals tend to be met with counterproposal
Early Stage(Constructive)
To establish a good climate, communicators confirm each other by recognizing and acknowledging each other’s concerns and feelings.
Middle Stage(Constructive)
In the middle stages of constructive conflict is marked by agenda building, which involves staying focused on the main issues
Bracketing
which is noticing that an issue arising in the course of conflict should be discussed later, this allows partners to confirm their feelings.
Later Stages(Constructive)
attention shifts to resolving the issue. And the people continue to collaborate.
Conflict management skills
Attend to relationship level meaning
Communicate Supportively
Listen Mindfully
Take responsibility for your thouhgts, feelings, and issues
Check Perceptions
Look for points of Agreement
Look for ways to perserve the others face
Imagine how you will feel in the future.
Flaming
excessivly insulting another person online, often using language that is derogatory or obscene.
Guidline for communication during a conflict
Focus on the overall communication system
Time Conflict Purposefully
Aim for Win-Win solutions
Honor yourself, your partner, and the relationship
Show grace when appropriate
Tangential Response
Being in a conversation but not listening to what the other person is saying
Disquiter
Tries to make people feel guilty over something they have no control over.
Pragmatic Paradox
When someone sets up a situation that cannot be resolved.
