Interdependence Flashcards
Interdependence
we need others and they need us in order to obtain valuable interpersonal rewards - the balance between being independent and dependent
Rewards
Gratifying experiences and commodities we get from other people
Costs
undesirable experiences
Different kinds of rewards
Impersonal benefits - from anyone
Personal intimacies - aspects related to intimacy with that person
Codependence
Unhealthy reliance on your partner
Social exchange
Two people provide each other with benefits and rewards that the other wants
Aspects of social exchange (3)
Rewards and costs, expectations, alternatives
Comparison level (CL)
Value of the outcome that we have come to expect and believe we deserve; a neutral point; like a bare minimum
Satisfaction =
Outcomes - CL
Comparison level for alternatives
Lowest levels of outcome we are willing to tolerate from our current partner; used to determine if we could be doing better elsewhere
Are CLalt subjective?
A person’s CLalt is what he or she thinks it is; can be impacted by self-esteem, information, attention to alternatives
Dependence or independence =
Outcomes - Cl(alt)
Investments in a present relationship
the things one would lose if the relationship were to end, are also important influences on one’s decision to stay or go
Four Types of relationships:
Happy + stable, Happy + unstable, unhappy + stable, unhappy + unstable
Happy and stable relationship
Outcomes > expectations, current relationship > alternatives, But CL(alt) can be > CL
Unhappy and stable relationship
Outcomes<expectations, but current relationship>alternatives; knowing they are the best option for you but they don’t meet your expectations
Happy but unstable
outcomes > expectations, but current relationship < alternatives; you get what you expect, but there is better options
Unhappy and unstable
outcomes < expectations, current relationship < alternatives
How do CLs change over time
They fluctuate with the outcomes we experience; rewarding relationships can becomes less satisfying over time; sociocultural influences have caused expectations to increase
How are CL different from the past
- We expect more from our partners than our grandparents
- women in the workforce makes it easier to leave relationships
- people are more mobile and traveling which increases options
Principle of lesser interest
the partner who depends less on a relationship has more power in that relationship - the person that has less to lose if the relationship were to end
What is the impact of costs and rewards (2)
Tells us about:
1. Current state of the relationship
2. potential future of the relationship
How do compliments and criticism interact
they won’t cancel each other out. The compliment will help soften the blow of the criticism, but the combination will leave you somewhat distressed
Good rewards to cost ratio to stay satisfied
5-1
Rewards and dissmissing/fearful attachment
likely to miss some of the positive, loving things their spouses do for them
How are bad experiences different than good experiences
Bad experiences carry more weight
Approach motivation:
Pursue pleasure
Avoidance motivation:
Seeking escape of punishment
Flourishing relationship:
Avoidance goals and fulfilled - safe and secure
Approach goals are fulfilled - enticing rewards make a relationship passionate and invigorating
Boring relationship
Avoidance goals are fulfilled - safe and secure
Approach goals are thwarted - monotonous, dull
Distressed relationship
Avoidance goals are thwarted - dangerous and threatening
Approach goals are thwarted - dull and monotonous
Precarious relationship
Avoidance goals and thwarted - dangerous and threatening
Approach goals are fulfilled - passionate, invigorating
Describe relational turbulence
Partners can disrupt each others routines and adjusting to new interdependency can lead to a lull in satisfaction
Relational turbulence model - How does relational turbulence change from casual dating to serious involvement
Increased turmoil during the transition from casual dating to serious involvement; increases then peaks and decreases
Is instant gratification good in relationships
Relationships are more rewarding when people dont pursue instant gratification - important to invest time in our partners
Exchange relationships:
People do favours for others and expect to be repaid
Communal relationships:
Partners are concerned for each other’s well-being - more intimate
What is an equitable relationship
Each partner gains benefits from the relationship that are proportional to contributions - most satisfying
Define commitment
desire for a relationship to continue and willingness to maintain it
Three things committed partners do
- Expect relationship continuation
- are future orientated
- are attached to one another - dependency, intimacy
Self-expansion model
we are attracted to partnerships that expand the range of our interests, skills, and experiences
How to combat boredom (self-expansion model)
Creatively continuing personal growth
Spouses that tend to stay happy have:
secure attachment, low in negative emotionality, high in self-esteem, keep their CL in check
Unanticipated costs are caused by
- lack of effort
- interdependency magnifies problems
- access to weaponry
- unwelcome surprise
- unrealistic expectations
Equity theorists extend the framework of social exchange to assert that
people are most satisfied in relationships in which there is proportional justice
Distress of inequity
underbenefited partners would be unhappy; they’re being exploited, and they may feel angry and resentful, overbenefited partners are doing too well, and they may feel somewhat guilty
Is equity the same in all domains
No, allocation of household tasks and child care is more important - inequities in housework and child care clearly reduce women’s satisfaction - outcome level matters more than inequity does
Maximizers
they want to optimize their outcomes and enjoy maximum satisfaction, so they keep evaluating their options - greedy and makes them less satisfied
Investment model
- satisfaction increases commitment
- alternatives of high quality decrease commitment
- size of investment determines commitment
Commitment readiness
How prepared and capable someone is for a relationship
personal commitment,
occurs when people want to continue a relationship because they are attracted to their partners and the relationship is satisfying
constraint commitment,
occurs when people feel they have to continue a relationship because it would be too costly for them to leave
moral commitment,
derives from a sense of moral obligation to one’s partner or one’s relationship. Here, people feel they ought to continue the relationship because it would be improper to end it and break their promises or vows
Commitment promotes:
Accommodation, willingness to sacrifice, derogation of tempting alternatives (judging potential partners are less attractive)
