Friendship Flashcards
Friendship:
voluntary, personal relationship, typically providing intimacy and assistance, in which the two parties like one another and seek each other’s company
Components of friendship
Affection, companionship, trust
Reciprocal self disclosure, emotional support, practical support
Social support
Provide us with aid; emotional, physical, advice and material support
Emotional support is beneficial:
has real physiological effects and mental health benefits
Friendship in early childhood (6 steps)
Unoccupied play, solitary play, spectator play, parallel play, associate play, cooperative play
Peer relationships in childhood
- make friends quickly (havent formed judgments)
- have multiple opportunities to form friendships
- choose friends with similar interests
What age to most children have at least one best friend
age 10
How do friendships change into adolescence
Remain stable if friendships are high quality
Older children struggle because
They get more upset losing friends, find making friends more difficult
Children who experience disruption and loss of close friendships:
- experience problems forming enw relationships
- show poor adjustment
- low self-esteem
How many children are friendless
15%
Is being friendless bad?
Not necessarily harmful, some children prefer solitude
Peer acceptance:
Degree that child is viewed as a worth social partner by peers
Peer rejection
ongoing interaction where child is deliberately excluded by peers
How do rejected children behave (4):
- misinterpret other childrens behaviours
- have trouble understanding and regulating emotions
- Poor listeners
- less socially competent
How do relationships change in adolescence
- more time spent with peers
- increasingly lean on friends
Friends in young adulthood
- entering post-secondary
- relationships typically change
- dip in satisfaction with the transition but this will increase later
Friendships in midlife
- social networks change - growth with a new partner
- settling down is associated with spending less time with friends
Friendships later in life
- smaller social networks, more selective
- same number of close friends
- less time with casual friends
- quality not quantity
socioemotional selectivity theory
seniors have different interpersonal goals than younger people do - people age and their futures seem more and more finite, they become oriented more toward the present than toward the future, and they emphasize emotional fulfillment to a greater extent
Shyness:
Inhibited behaviour and nervous discomfort in social settings
Shy people:
Feer negative evaluation, tend to have poor self esteem, feel less competent in interactions
A cycle of shyness
- shy concern for other evaluations
- timid and awkward behaviour
- negative impressions on others
- others responses are less engaging and more distant
Repeat
Loneliness:
unhappy discrepancy between number of quality of partnerships we want and those we have
Friendship vs love
- Love: sexual desire, exclusivity, stringent standards of conduct, more loyalty
- Friends: easier to dissolve, less passionate and committed
Capitalization
we usually share good news with friends and receive enthusiastic, rewarding responses that increase our pleasure
Emotional support is beneficial:
has real physiological effects and mental health benefits
Effective social support
eads people to feel closer to those who provide it
What is the best support:
The support that fits our needs and preferences. More effective when it fits the recipient’s current needs and goals
invisible support
subtly provided without fanfare and actually goes unnoticed by the recipient
Regardless of what support is offerd, it is more important:
it’s not what people do for us but what we think they do for us that matters
Perceived partner responsiveness
judgment that someone is attentive, respectful, caring, and supportive with respect to our needs and aspirations; Very rewarding
Perceived partner responsiveness promotes:
Intimacy, self-disclosure, trust, interdependenccy
Rules of relationships
shared cultural beliefs about what behaviors friends should (and should not) perform
Good friends are generally (4):
trustworthy and loyal, having our best interests at heart;
confidants with whom we can share our secrets;
enjoyable and fun companions;
similar to us in attitudes and interests; and
helpful, providing material support when we need it.
Key needs in elementary, preadolescence, then teen years
- elementary: Acceptance
- preadolescence: intimacy
- Teen: sexuality
How does attachment change in adolescents?
They rely on friends for the satisfaction of important attachment needs
Young adulthood satisfaction in friendships
lowest in the fall after they arrived at college. But by the end of that first year, most people were again content with their social networks
How does intimacy increase in 20’s
average intimacy levels of the participants’ interactions increased during their twenties. After college, then, people tend to interact with fewer friends, but they have deeper, more interdependent relationships with the friends they have
What makes a best friend?
- knowledge 2. trust 3. interdependence 4. commitment
Midlife: dyadic withdrawal
People see more and more of a lover, they see less and less of their friends
Opposite sex friendships in romantic relationships and marriage;
people tend to see much less of friends who could be construed by a spouse to be potential romantic rivals
In marriage do people gave bigger social networks
Yes, more in-laws
Diversity in heterosexual vs homosexual relationships
Straight people have less diverse friends, but thetu are just as rewarding
relational self-construals
describe the extent to which we think of ourselves as interdependent, rather than independent, beings
Machiavellianism
cynical, duplicitous, and manipulative, and they readily lie to others if it helps them get what they want
psychopathy
bold, impulsive thrill-seekers who sometimes seem charming but who callously disregard others’ feelings and well-being
Dark Triad
Narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy; low levels of agreeableness and humility
Does shy behaviour make a good impression
aloof, unrewarding behavior often seems dull or disinterested to others
social loneliness,
being dissatisfied because we lack a social network of friends and acquaintances
emotional loneliness,
being lonely because we lack affection and emotional support from at least one intimate relationship
The lonliness scale has three themes:
Isolation, close connection, social connection
Variation in lonliness is due to
Genetic influences, personalities, attachment style, self-esteem
Why are macho men more lonely
They don’t open up to other men and depend on women
Low expressivity =
more lonliness
negative attitudes toward others cause
lonely people tend to mistrust and dislike the very people from whom they seek acceptance and regard - causes dull interactions
Is lonely behaviour more desctrctive than shy behaviour?
Probably, lonely behavior is more corrosive and obnoxious. Lonely people annoy us
Loneliness and depression
Loneliness can lead to depression and cause excessive reassurance seeking
are social media users more lonely
Heavy users of Facebook (and Instagram and Snapchat) are actually lonelier than light users are
Attributes of friendship (5)
Respect, trust, capitalization, social support, responsiveness
