Attraction - Chapter 3

Question 1

What are we attracted to?

Answer 1

We are attracted to others whose presence is rewarding to us

Question 2

What rewards do we gain from relationships?

Answer 2

Direct and indirect rewards

Question 3

Describe direct rewards, list examples

Answer 3

Obvious rewards/evident pleasures; interest, approval, beauty, money, good advice

Question 4

Describe indirect rewards, list examples

Answer 4

Subtle benefits; anything that resembles us makes people seem more likeable - may not be conscious; sharing the first letter of your names

Question 5

Instrumentality:

Answer 5

Attention is based on someone helping us meet our goals

Question 6

Proximity:

Answer 6

being nearby influences how likely two people will meet and interact - physically being with people is rewarding

Question 7

Familiarity:

Answer 7

Repeated contact - proximity increases chances that two people will see each other; we like peoples whose faces we recognize more than those we don’t

Question 8

Convenience:

Answer 8

being close to someone is rewarding, being far away is difficult

Question 9

Probems with proximity:

Answer 9

1. Our enemies live close by
2. Online relationships: people put their best foot forward online - people are mildly disappointed
3. Long distance partners that are being reunited - idealized images of their partnership make reunions more stressful and breakups happen

Question 10

Aspects that influence who we find attractive:

Answer 10

Height, smell, intelligence, culture, evolutionary perspective, menstrual cycles

Question 11

What is reciprocity in terms of attraction?

Answer 11

Physical attractiveness x probability of acceptance = potential partner desirability
Appealing partners are moderately attractive, and offer a good chance of accepting us

Question 12

What is mate value

Answer 12

overall attractiveness as a reproductive partner

Question 13

What in the past influences who we are attracted to

Answer 13

past experiences and history of rejection

Question 14

What are the main ways partners resemble each other (3)

Answer 14

Demographic similarities, attitudes and values (this matters the most), personalities - contentment has more to do with desirable qualities than similarities

Question 15

Explain how being selective impacts potential relationships

Answer 15

others can pick up on the genuine connection
BUT playing hard to get does not work

Question 16

Disadvantages of being attractive

Answer 16

Unstable relationships, less trusting of others

Question 17

how do similarities between partners changes over time

Answer 17

Relationships change people: couples tend to share more similar attitudes over time

Question 18

Do opposites attract? Why do people think opposites attract?

Answer 18

They don’t. Similarities in relationships differ in their perception vs reality - learning about what are actual similarities and differences can take a long time. We think we have more in common than they actually do.

Question 19

Who is a good judge of similarity in a relationship?

Answer 19

People outside the relationship have a more accurate perspective

Question 20

What is the stimulus-value-role theory

Answer 20

We gain three different broad types of information as our new relationship develops - stimulus, value and role

Question 21

What is the stimulus information stage

Answer 21

First contact: what attracts us to one another - demographics, appearance

Question 22

What is the value stage

Answer 22

2-7 contacts: attraction depends on similarity in attitudes and beliefs

Question 23

What is the role compatibility stage

Answer 23

8 or more contacts through to long-term relationships: determining compatibility becomes important when people find out if they are similar about important things (kids, future, marriage)

Question 24

Describe fatal attraction

Answer 24

when the quality that initially attracts one person to another gradually becomes one of the most irritating things about them

Question 25

Describe what attraction to our ideal selves is

Answer 25

The most appealing partners are those who are similar to us, but fit our attainable ideals we have

Question 26

What is matching

Answer 26

Partners in relationships have similar levels of attractiveness

Question 27

When does mismatching occur

Answer 27

When friendships develop first

Question 28

Does matching always have to be based on attractiveness?

Answer 28

The rewards do not have to be the same but they complement each other; Based on the exchange of feminines youth for masculine status and resources

Question 29

What is complementarity? Does this mean opposites attract?

Answer 29

Behaviour that complements our own - not the opposite

Question 30

What are the most important qualities everyone wants in a partner

Answer 30

Everyone wants a partner who is amiable, agreeable, loving and kind

Question 31

How do gender roles impact happiness?

Answer 31

Couples with traditional gender roles are less satisfied