Conflict Flashcards
interpersonal conflict
Occurs when ones wishes or actions obstruct or impede another wishes or actions
Conflict is
Inevitable - peoples moods and preferences are bound to differ
Natural relationship tensions
Autonomy vs. connection, openness vs privacy, stability vs change, integration vs separation
Factors associated with increased conflict (4)
Personality, attachment style, life stages, additional factors
Personality
Impulsive, and people who experience negative emotions have more disagreements. Lack of similarity causes conflict
Attachment style
Secure - experience less conflict and manage it better
Anxious and avoidant - prone to conflict
What life stage is associated with conflict
young adulthood
Common types of conflict
Criticism, illegitimate demands, rebuffs, cumulative annoyances
How do differing perspectives cause conflcit
- actor and observer effects
- self serving biases
- attributional conflict: arguing whose point is correct
Strategies for dealing with conflict
Avoidance, negotiation, escalation
Discrepancies in approaches to conflict
Demanding behaviour vs withdrawing behaviour
Five styles of interpersonal conflict management
Competing, collaborating, avoiding, accommodating, compromising
Steps for negotiation and accommodation
be attentive, optimistic, value partners and own outcomes, future orientation, third-party perspective, take a break, consider what to do differently
What are 5 ways to end a conflict
separation, domination, compromise, integrative agreements, structural improvements
Timeline of conflict
- event occurs that leads to conflict
- arguing about who is correct
- addressing or avoiding conflict
- complaints, withdrawal, partial communication
- working toward a solution - negotiation and accommodation
Opposing motivations (dialects)
Autonomy vs. connection, openness vs privacy/closedness, stability vs change, integration vs separation (in terms of social networks)
People who are more similar have
less conflict
Instigating events:
Criticism, illegitimate demands, rebuffs, cumulative annoyances
Rebuffs involve
One personal appeals to another for a desired reaction and the other person fails to respond as expected
cumulative annoyances
trivial events that become irritating with repetition
attributional conflict
fighting over whose explanation is right and whose account is wrong
In escalation, how can we say mean things (2)
Direct or indirect tactics
Emotional flooding
when people become overwhelmed by high arousal and strong emotion and are unable, for a time, to think straight
Negotiation uses these two conflict tactics
Direct - addressing the problem
indirect - not discussing the issue but diffusing the ill feelings
Responses to dissatisfaction (4)
- voice
- loyalty
- neglect
- exit
Voice
behaving in an active, constructive manner by trying to improve the situation by discussing matters with the partner
Loyalty
Passive, but constructive
Neglect
passive but destructive - avoiding discussion of critical issues and reducing interdependence
Exit
actively destructive manner by leaving the partner, threatening to end the relationship, or engaging in abusive acts
People are more likely to be constructive when
investments are high and the relationship is satisfying
Four types of couples dealing with conflict
Volatile, validators, avoiders, hostiles
Volatile
Frequent and passionate arguments
Validators
behave more like collaborators
Hostiles
too much criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and withdrawal, and the longer they last, the more oppressive they become
separation
one or both partners withdraw without resolving the conflic
domination
one partner gets his or her way
Compromise
occurs when both parties reduce their aspirations or gradually change their goals so that a mutually acceptable alternative can be found
Integrative agreements
satisfy both partners’ original goals and aspirations, usually through creativity and flexibility
Structural improvement
partners not only get what they want but also learn and grow and make desirable changes to their relationship
speaker-listener technique
provides a structure for calm, clear communication about contentious issues that promotes the use of active listening skills and increases the chances that partners will understand and validate each other despite their disagreement
In the speaker-listener technique
one person gets the floor and other listens
