Dissolution and Loss Flashcards
Common reasons relationships end
Different values, communication, infidelity, personality, alternatives, abuse, expectations not met, comparison levels ,different priorities etc
History of divorce in Canada
1968 Unified divorce law was revised to time living apart from three to one year in 1986
Divorce rates in canada
increasing
Why have divorce rates changed
- we expect more
- marriage does not have the same practical value
- marry for love and passion
- perspective on divorce is changing
- women working outside the home
Reasons for a divorce in Canada
- Living apart for more than one year
- spouse committed adultery
- spouse is physically or mentally cruel
Cost of divorce
Increases if it is contested and if it goes to court
millennial divorce
millennials who have long-term partners that do not get married that separate have a harder time because it is a grey area in the law. No laws to protect either person can get very messy
Levinger’s barrier model
Attraction + alternatives + barriers contribute to relationship stability
Using Levinger’s barrier model to explain leaving unhappy relationships
Barriers make it too difficult to leave
Vulnerability-stress-adaption model
general model of marital instability; people enter relationships with enduring vulnerabilities and stressful events affect our adaptive processes are impacted (how we respond to stress), and failure to cope causes marital quality to decline
Enduring dynamics
spouses bring in own problems, vulnerabilites into a relationship that may not be apparent at the beginning
Emergent distress
Problematic behaviour that destroys a marriage emerges after the marriage
Disillusionment
People begin relationships with unrealistically positive views
Three general influences on marriage outcome
culture, personal, and relational contexts
Process of breaking up
often difficult and takes time to process
Break up distinctions
Direct vs indirect
gradual vs sudden unhappiness
individual vs shared decision
rapid vs slow
presence or absence of repair attempts
5 stages of most breakups (not everyone goes through these)
personal, dyadic, social, grave-dressing, resurrection
cohabitation causes
an increased risk of divorce later on
Is brief cohabitation okay?
Brief cohabitation that is limited to one’s fiancé doesn’t seem to put a subsequent marriage at much risk
Casual cohabitation seems to lead to
(a) less respect for the institution of marriage, (b) less favorable expectations about the outcomes of marriage, and (c) increased willingness to divorce
stress spillover
in which we bring bad moods home and interact with our innocent partners
Couples that have successfully dealt with stress
are likely to be more resilient and to adjust better to new stressors
Other-orientated breakup
trying to protect the partner’s feelings
self-orientated brekaup
being more selfish at the expense of a partner
Persevering indirectness
repeated efforts to dissolve the relationship without ever announcing that intention and without engaging in any attempts to improve or repair the partnership
Steps of divorce: personal phase
partner grows dissatisfied, often feeling frustration and disgruntlement
Dyadic phase
the unhappy partner reveals his or her discontent. Long periods of negotiation, confrontation, or attempts at accommodation may follow
social phase
The partners publicize their distress, explaining their side of the story to family and friends and seeking support and understanding
grave-dressing phase
Mourning decreases, and the partners begin to get over their loss by doing whatever cognitive work and relational cleansing are required to put their past partnership behind them
resurrection phase
the ex-partners re-enter social life as singles
Post dissolution: churning
When partners break up but then reconcile and get back together
Post dissolution: churning
When partners break up but then reconcile and get back together
Is churning good
no - uncertainty and chronically lower satisfaction even when a relationship continues
How do people feel after a divorce
nce they exited their distressed marriages, life started getting better
How do divorces affect social networks
Social networks get smaller
How are economic resources impacted in divorce
Finances deteriorate
How are kids impacted
Parental loss, parental stress, economic hardship parental conflict
enduring dynamics predict
How happy marriages will be
Disillusionment predicts
divorce
