Chapter 2 - THE LANGUAGE OF COACHING Flashcards
What theories form the basis of the coaching program?
Theories from humanistic psychology, positive psychology, and early theories of Jung, Adler, and Assagioli.
This includes the strength-based approach and concepts from speech-act theorists like John Searle and Fernando Flores.
What are the three aspects of coaching that coaches attend to?
- Relationship with the clients
- Overall process of coaching
- Coaching conversations
These aspects are essential for effective coaching and client engagement.
What distinguishes a coaching conversation from a casual chat?
A coaching conversation has a beginning, middle, and end, resulting in movement toward insight or action.
It involves commitment and action on the part of clients.
What is the ‘sacred or inspiring space’ in coaching?
The space created through genuine dialogue and listening between coaches and clients.
This allows for effective engagement and growth.
What is the primary purpose of the coaching conversation?
To further the clients’ growth, learning, and action toward their desires and intentions.
This involves a creative dialogue where coaches intuitively follow clients’ pace.
What are the three critical conversations described by Tim Gallwey?
- Conversation for awareness
- Conversation for choice
- Conversation for trust
These conversations help clients move from current reality to their desired future.
What is the importance of increasing clients’ awareness?
Increased awareness leads to greater choice and the ability to respond creatively to life.
Clients learn to manage their reactions rather than merely react.
What are the three areas of desired results clients typically seek in coaching?
- Performance goals
- Learning goals
- Fulfillment goals
Each area targets different aspects of clients’ lives and can be measured in various ways.
What is the difference between facts and stories in the context of coaching?
Facts are verifiable truths; stories are interpretations and opinions about those facts.
Clients often confuse their stories with the truth, which can hinder change.
What is the initial question a coach asks to start a session?
What do you want from our time together today?
This question helps clients articulate their desires and goals.
What does ‘coaching to the gap’ mean?
It refers to helping clients identify the difference between what they want and their current reality.
This allows coaches to assist clients in finding ways to close that gap.
What should coaches do after clarifying their understanding of clients’ desires?
Coaches should share their perspectives on the clients’ situations, identifying gaps, opportunities, and strengths.
This step is critical for facilitating change.
True or False: The coaching conversation is designed to reflect the coach’s agenda.
False.
The coaching conversation is purposefully directed to the client’s agenda.
Fill in the blank: The coaching conversation impacts clients because it takes a ______ approach.
[whole-person]
This method addresses both the inner and outer worlds of clients.
What is the role of a coach in communicating with clients?
To share their observations respectfully and acknowledge multiple perspectives.
Coaches must communicate in a way that is warm and inviting, offering their perception as just one version of the truth.
What does the term ‘insight’ refer to in coaching?
The phenomenon of creating a new neural link in the client’s brain when they recognize what is so.
Insight allows clients to begin transformation and is often fragile unless built upon deeper dialogue.
What is a key aspect of the coaching process after sharing observations?
Listening more and asking clarifying questions to deepen the client’s self-exploration.
This invites clients to play with their thoughts and discover new possibilities.
What is purposeful silence in coaching?
A technique where coaches pause after a client’s comments to allow for deeper reflection.
Purposeful silence can create powerful moments for insight and self-discovery.
Fill in the blank: The action requested by a coach may involve a change in _______.
[behavior, way of being, thought pattern, or mindset]
What should coaches assess regarding client actions?
Whether clients are committed to the actions they identify.
This ensures clients own their actions and are motivated to follow through.
What are the ‘Big Five’ in coaching?
A method for discernment regarding client actions and commitments.
It helps coaches evaluate the appropriateness of clients’ goals and actions.
True or False: Coaches should allow clients to overpromise and underdeliver without assessment.
False.
Coaches should explore what blocked the intended actions and help clients learn to pace themselves.
What should clients do during the action-taking phase?
Identify choices, examine commitment, and clarify specific actions.
This phase is crucial for ensuring accountability and clarity in the coaching process.
What is essential for accountability in coaching?
Clients must be accountable to themselves as well as to their coaches.
Ensuring that clients understand the specifics of their next steps is vital.
Fill in the blank: A good rule of thumb is to have clients act in two ways: (a) take the specified action, and (b) _______.
[observe themselves during the action]
What is the bottom line of a coaching session?
A session is not complete without a request for movement toward the client’s goals.
This creates momentum and reinforces the coaching process.
What is the focus of the coaching conversation in the provided transcript?
Rediscovering fun and recreation in the client’s life.
The client discusses their past enjoyment of tennis and current limitations.
What challenge does the client face regarding fun activities?
Physical limitations that prevent them from engaging in sports they used to enjoy.
The client feels a need to reframe their understanding of fun due to these limitations.
What type of project does the coach suggest to the client regarding fun?
Researching individuals with physical limitations who still have fun in their lives.
This could help the client see new possibilities for enjoyment.
What does the coach encourage the client to do to explore fun?
Conduct informational interviews asking others what they do for fun.
This could help the client shift their perspective on fun activities.
What does the client express about their current perception of fun?
They feel they must reframe their understanding of fun due to their physical limitations.
The client struggles to envision alternatives that bring joy.
What physical activity did the client stop due to pain?
Playing tennis
The client experienced pain in the bottom of their foot and issues in the metatarsal region, which led to discontinuing tennis.
What does the client currently use to help with foot pain?
Orthotics
The client has orthotics but still finds walking unenjoyable.
At what age did the client start playing tennis?
12 years old
How frequently did the client play tennis before surgeries?
Singles four times a week, doubles twice a week
What activities did the client enjoy before the age of 12?
Riding a bike and playing baseball
True or False: The client is currently interested in bicycling.
False
The client is not interested in biking anymore due to the difficulty in their mountainous living environment.
What does the client feel they are mourning?
The loss of a sport that has been a part of their life
What activity does the client express interest in as a potential source of fun?
Drumming
What did the client experience at the drumming circle?
A sense of connection to strangers
What does the coach suggest could come from joining a drumming group?
Opportunities to meet new people and discover other activities
Fill in the blank: The coach describes fun as a demand from your _______.
soul
What does the term ‘recreation’ mean according to the conversation?
Re-creation
The client realizes that recreation can be viewed as re-creation, emphasizing the importance of fun.
What does the client want more of in their life?
Balance and time with their partner
What is the significance of emotions in the coaching process?
They communicate important information from the client’s soul to their conscious self
What does the coach believe about the answers clients have?
Clients have the answers that are right for them
What does the coach encourage clients to do in coaching sessions?
Draw on their past for clues about what is fulfilling
What is the Life Balance Wheel?
A coaching tool focused on various life areas
The coach and client focused on this tool during their session.
What does the coach imply about fun in everyday life?
It is a right and should be incorporated regularly
What does the coach mean by ‘shadow work’?
Exploring hidden aspects of oneself that haven’t been expressed or claimed
What emotional reaction did the client have during the session?
Tears formed in their eyes
What does the phrase ‘energy in motion’ refer to?
E-motion
What is an example of an alternative activity the coach suggests related to drumming?
Recumbent biking
What is the role of silence in coaching sessions?
To allow the client to reflect deeply on their issues
What emotional aspect should a coach respect in the coaching relationship?
The information communicated by emotions from client to coach and from the client’s soul to the conscious self.
This emphasizes the importance of emotional awareness in coaching interactions.
How does a coach validate a client’s emotions while offering possibilities?
By acknowledging the client’s feelings and suggesting other sources of fun beyond the current focus.
This approach helps expand the client’s perspective on their situation.
What is the significance of pointing out shifts in a client’s voice, energy, and body?
It helps the client become more aware of what enhances their aliveness and grounds insights in the body.
This can be done even in phone coaching sessions.
Why was the coaching in the discussed case effective?
The coach did not assume the role of expert and normalized the client’s experience.
This approach can help clients feel less isolated and more hopeful.
What crucial question does a coach ask to help clients reconnect with their desires?
What do you really, really, really want?
This question can help clients break through their ‘shoulds’ and rediscover their core desires.
What does the term ‘shadow’ refer to in the context of coaching?
The unclaimed parts of ourselves, including unrealized creative aspects and hidden aspects.
This perspective is non-pathologizing and encourages self-discovery.
What does the word ‘re-creation’ symbolize in the coaching session?
It serves as a touchstone for the client’s goal of recreation.
This encapsulates the essence of the session and provides clarity on next steps.
What are key coaching skills and competencies?
- Presence
- Curiosity
- Creating awareness through evocative questions and inquiry
- Silence
These skills are essential for effective coaching relationships.
What is the role of curiosity in coaching?
It helps to suspend judgment, avoid the need to be right, and create evocative questions.
Curiosity is essential for maintaining an open coaching dialogue.
What is meant by ‘purposeful pausing’ in coaching?
It refers to the silence following an exploratory question, allowing the client to reflect.
This technique encourages deeper client insights.
What is the first coaching conversation intended to establish?
An explanation of what coaching is and how the coach operates.
This models the coaching process for prospective clients.
Define the coaching alliance.
An association to further the members’ common interests, designed as a partnership in service of a client’s goals.
The alliance is co-created and distinct from therapeutic alliances.
How do expectations differ between therapeutic alliances and coaching alliances?
- Therapeutic alliances have set expectations by codes of ethics and licensing boards.
- Coaching alliances are co-created with specific goals and desires of the client.
This highlights the unique nature of coaching as distinct from therapy.
What is a ‘welcome packet’ in coaching?
A set of handouts for the client that includes the coaching contract, goals, policies, and procedures.
This tool engages clients in long-term thinking and provides useful information to the coach.
What should a coach explore with clients regarding past relationships?
Clients should think back to empowering relationships to identify what made them supportive.
This helps in designing an effective coaching alliance.
What are signs that a coaching alliance may be at risk?
- Client forgets appointments
- Client has lost interest
- Personal difficulties affecting effectiveness.
Recognizing these signs is vital for maintaining a healthy coaching relationship.
What might a coach do if the coaching alliance needs renegotiation?
Ask the client if it would be helpful to redefine their relationship or adjust the frequency of sessions.
This allows for flexibility based on the client’s current needs.
What is a potential pitfall for coaches regarding self-deception?
Seeing clients as vehicles or instruments rather than as whole persons.
This perspective can hinder the effectiveness of the coaching relationship.
What is the term used when a person’s self-interests or fears affect their relationship with another person?
In the box
This term refers to a situation where self-deception interferes with interpersonal dynamics.
What is the significance of the coach’s first communication with the client?
Sets the stage for coaching and creates the alliance
The first contact is crucial for establishing the coaching relationship.
What are the three types of first contacts with clients?
- Committed clients seeking the right coach
- Curious individuals who just met the coach
- Those wanting to know if coaching fits their needs
Why is it important for coaches to have a structured initial interview?
To assess the fit of the prospective alliance
A structured approach allows both coach and client to evaluate compatibility.
What is the recommended duration for the initial screening call?
At least 30 minutes
What is the typical length of the first official coaching session?
At least 90 minutes
What should coaches assess during the initial calls?
- Payment capability
- Availability
- Coaching method and frequency
- Ideal client profile
- Coaches’ interest in goals
What does the term ‘living brochure’ refer to in coaching?
An enrollment conversation
This term emphasizes the importance of conversation over printed materials in coaching.
What is the primary goal of the conversation for exploration and discovery?
To create a sense of synergistic partnership
What are ‘ouch’ questions intended to uncover?
Sore spots and tender topics in the client’s life
These questions help identify areas needing attention or resolution.
What should a coach do if they determine a caller is not a potential client?
Refer the client to another coach or suggest resources
What is a good opening question to encourage clients to talk about themselves?
Describe yourself in terms of how you see yourself
Fill in the blank: The conversation for discovery should focus on understanding the client’s _______.
Values, desires, intentions, behaviors, attitudes, passions, frustrations, and difficulties
What is a mutual commitment in the coach-client relationship?
Both parties agree to engage sincerely in the coaching process
What kind of questions can help uncover personal boundary issues?
Questions about integrity, needs, and values
True or False: Coaches should feel pressured to convert prospects into paying clients immediately.
False
Coaches should avoid urgency and focus on the quality of the conversation.
What is the purpose of planting the seed of self-care during the conversation?
To emphasize the importance of personal well-being
What might a coach suggest if they recognize a client needs to address unfinished business before coaching?
A referral to a therapist or other appropriate resource
What is the role of insight-provoking questions during the initial call?
To help the client experience the value of coaching
What should the coach communicate about the commitment to the coaching process?
A non-binding commitment to work together for 90 days
What is the first step in the coaching process?
Exploring new ways of doing things and looking at life.
Why is it necessary to discuss financials with potential clients?
To make a living as a coach and create perceived value.
What does the coach do in Step 7?
Discusses three changes or intentions stated by the client and explains fees.
What should a coach highlight in Step 8?
Choices clients would make if financial constraints didn’t exist.
What is the purpose of Step 9: Process Check?
To establish whether the client is ready to sign on and if there is a good fit.
In Step 10, what is the coach testing?
The client’s willingness to try new options and patterns.
What is the focus of Step 11: Create Awareness?
Stretching the client’s thinking about possibilities and hidden talents.
What does Step 12 emphasize in coaching conversations?
Focusing on the client’s strengths and joys.
What should a coach assess in Step 13?
How much clients know about coaching.
What is the significance of making a declaration in Step 14?
To express the coach’s desire to work with the potential client.
What does Step 15: Clarify Issues aim to do?
Ensure potential clients understand the commitment and concept of coaching.
What is the purpose of Step 16: Make an Offer?
To suggest the next steps in the coaching process.
What is the truism mentioned about safety in coaching?
Safety comes with consistency, allowing space for radical changes.
What are the two tools that provide structure in coaching?
- Welcome packet
- Coaching session preparation worksheet
What are the intentions for a first paying session outlined in the welcome packet?
- Review logistics, policies, and procedures
- Develop long-term intentions and vision
- Model the coaching conversation
What are the two main functions of a welcome packet?
- Introduces clients to the coach’s policies
- Provides information about the coaching work
Why is self-reflection important for clients when completing the welcome packet?
To avoid repeating habitual patterns of thinking, feeling, and acting.
How can coaches adapt the delivery of the welcome packet?
By sending it via email, mailing it in a notebook, or sending pages individually.
Fill in the blank: A major mistake new coaches make is to be reluctant to ask for _______.
commitment
True or False: The welcome packet is crucial for laying the groundwork for the long-term relationship.
True
What is the purpose of coaching session preparation worksheets?
To help keep the coach and client focused on what the client wants from each session
Coaches keep completed forms as a resource for documenting client progress and accomplishments.
Name three types of information clients are asked to record in coaching session preparation worksheets.
- Successes and highlights
- Opportunities and challenges
- Priorities for the sessions
What are ‘powerful questions’ in coaching?
Evocative and stimulating questions essential for inspiring coaching conversations
Without powerful questions, the coaching conversation can fail to inspire.
What are some examples of powerful questions for clients?
- What gives you energy?
- What makes you feel discouraged?
- What do you most want from coaching?
What is one major goal of the first coaching session?
Clarify expectations of the coaching partnership
True value lies in how the client attributes value to the coaching.
What should coaches do to prepare for a coaching session?
- Clear the desk of irrelevant materials
- Center themselves through meditation
- Review materials and notes from the last session
What are ‘energy drainers’?
Things one is tolerating or ignoring that drain energy
Addressing energy drainers early in coaching can reclaim lost energy.
How does a Personal Ecology support success?
It consists of the immediate environment that either supports achieving priorities or slows you down
A highly efficient environment is a Personal Support System.
What is the significance of a coaching welcome packet?
It contains worksheets where the client lists goals and intentions, providing valuable insights for coaching
Coaches should keep it easily accessible for reviews.
True or False: The language used in coaching is intentionally powerful.
True
The coach’s language aims to create insight and new connections for the client.
What are the three key questions every leader must ask according to Stuart Wells?
- What seems to be happening?
- What possibilities do we face?
- What are we going to do about it?
What is the ‘Miracle Question’ used in coaching?
What if, overnight, a miracle occurred, and you woke up tomorrow morning and the problem was solved?
This question helps clients visualize solutions and new possibilities.
List three purposes of questions in coaching.
- Encourage or validate
- Generate new possibilities
- Identify assumptions
What should a coach do at the end of a coaching session?
- Provide solid closure
- Set the next appointment
- Summarize commitments
What is a primary goal of a coach in the context of inquiry?
To generate new possibilities and challenge clients’ thinking
Coaches aim to respect the limitations and assumptions of clients while fostering growth.
What type of questioning technique is exemplified by Peter Falk’s Columbo?
Asking apparently stupid questions to focus attention on what is missing
This technique helps in uncovering truths that have yet to be revealed.
What is the purpose of the questions asked by Milton Erickson?
To create creative confusion and open awareness beyond habitual thinking
Erickson’s questions often imply change will occur, directing focus on timing.
How can clients reflect on their leadership during their workday?
By asking themselves, ‘Right now, how am I being the leader I want to be?’
This reflection fosters awareness and choice-driven change.
What practice can help coaches assess the effectiveness of their questions?
Taping their end of a coaching conversation
This allows coaches to evaluate whether their questions resonate with clients.
What is an inquiry in a coaching context?
A powerful question held in mind continuously for contemplation
Inquiries encourage deep reflection and exploration.
Who is credited with the quote about living questions?
Rainer Maria Rilke
His quote emphasizes the importance of living with questions to discover answers.
What are the two main purposes of inquiry in coaching?
- To generate self-awareness
- To increase awareness of beliefs and behaviors
This creates more choices and responsibility for clients.
What distinguishes the judger mind-set from the learner mind-set?
Judgers focus on problems, while learners focus on possibilities and responsibilities
The learner mind-set is essential for effective coaching.
What is the risk associated with habitual quick judgments?
They can hinder clients’ growth and self-reflection
Inquiry helps examine unconscious judging patterns.
What accountability questions should be answered at the end of a coaching session?
- What will you do?
- By when?
- How will you know you have been successful?
- How will I or others recognize success?
These questions help ensure client accountability.
What are powerful questions in coaching often mistaken for?
Guru questions that demonstrate the coach’s expertise
In reality, simple questions can be just as impactful.
What is the focus of David Grove’s work on transparent questions?
Creating opportunities for clients to fully self-observe
This is part of the clean language approach in coaching.
How does transparent language benefit the coaching process?
It allows clients to see clearly who they are and what they want
Coaches reflect clients’ language without adding assumptions.
What does transparency in coaching mean?
Staying within the context and language used by the client
It avoids adding new metaphors or frameworks to the client’s experience.
What is the impact of assumptions in coaching questions?
They can create a framework that obscures choices
Coaches should state their assumptions clearly.
What is a metaphor in the context of coaching?
A description of something as ‘like’ something else
Metaphors provide insight into clients’ perceptions.
According to Andrew Ortony, what role do metaphors play in cognition?
Metaphors are necessary for understanding
They help illuminate our thought processes.
What do George Lakoff and Mark Johnson say about metaphors?
They help us understand one kind of thing in terms of another
This perspective broadens our experience of reality.
How does Carl Jung view the unconscious mind in relation to metaphors?
It stores information in forms and symbols that can reveal deeper understanding
Analyzing these symbols can lead to greater self-awareness.
What is the significance of analyzing symbols according to Jung?
It provides access to a wider and more comprehensive understanding of ourselves, our relationships, and the wider world.
Jung believed that symbols from the unconscious could reveal deeper insights about personal and collective experiences.
How do metaphors serve as a tool in coaching?
They provide insight into the client’s unique perception of their situation and goals.
Clients’ metaphors can reveal their emotional and psychological state regarding their challenges.
What does the metaphor ‘seeing light at the end of the tunnel’ indicate?
It reflects the client’s experience of hope and direction in their situation.
This metaphor suggests the client is aware of their journey and has a goal or endpoint in mind.
What can a coach do when conversations become stale?
Listen for a metaphor in the client’s language and encourage exploration of it.
This technique can rejuvenate the conversation and lead to new insights.
List the three basic ways to utilize metaphors in coaching conversations.
- Listen for a metaphor shared by the client
- Create a metaphor by asking the client what their issue is like
- Offer a metaphor from the coach’s intuition
Each method encourages deeper exploration and understanding of the client’s challenges.
What type of question can a coach ask to explore a client’s metaphor?
What kind of stuck is that stuck? or Tell me more about stuck.
These questions prompt the client to elaborate on their metaphor, facilitating deeper insight.
Fill in the blank: When a coach asks a client, ‘When you think of this issue/challenge, it is like _______?’ they are trying to elicit a metaphor.
[key learning term]
The phrasing encourages the client to think metaphorically about their situation.
True or False: Offering a metaphor from the coach’s intuition can help the client explore their challenges.
True
This approach can provide the client with new perspectives and insights.
