Chapter 10 - WHAT GETS IN YOUR WAY? Flashcards
What are the common obstacles coaching clients encounter?
- Energy drainers
- Unmet needs
- Fears
Fears will be explored in depth in Chapter 15.
What are energy drainers?
Psychic vampires that suck the vitality out of each day.
Examples include clutter and other distractions.
What is the first step in addressing energy drainers and unmet needs?
Identify obstacles that stand in the way of satisfaction.
What are the costs associated with energy drainers?
- Energy
- Time
- Focus
Clients should assess how these blocks impact their lives.
What are the two categories of blocks to satisfaction?
- The Little Annoyances—Life’s Gnats
- The Big or Chronic Complaints—Life’s Sufferings
What are examples of ‘gnats’?
- Messy closets
- Crowded garage
- Unfinished marketing brochure
- Car that needs a tune-up
- Broken lock
- Dry cleaning to take in
What characterizes ‘sufferings’ in the context of life blocks?
Issues that create tension and diminish the quality of life.
According to Buddhism, what is the first Noble Truth?
‘To live is to suffer.’
What is the recommended exercise for clients to manage their gnats and sufferings?
Identify personal gnats and sufferings, count the cost, and take action.
What are the four strategies to address gnats and sufferings?
- Eliminate them
- Allow them to disappear
- Park or put aside the issue
- Neutralize them
- Convert them into learning opportunities or gratitude
What does it mean to ‘neutralize’ a gnat or suffering?
Look for a compromise or short-term solution to reduce emotional charge.
What can clients do to track their energy drainers?
Use the Energy Drainer Worksheet to identify and manage energy drainers.
What is Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs?
A framework that categorizes human needs from basic security to self-actualization.
What levels were added to Maslow’s original hierarchy after its development?
- Transcendence
- Aesthetic needs
- Need to know and understand
What is self-actualization according to Maslow?
The need to find self-fulfillment and realize one’s potential.
What does the aesthetic need refer to?
The need for symmetry, order, and beauty.
What is an important realization about having needs?
Having needs is a normal and natural part of human existence.
What happens when individuals deny their needs?
They drive their needs underground, gaining power over their lives.
How can clients reclaim energy lost to drainers?
By addressing and eliminating items on their Energy Drainer list.
What is the purpose of the Energy Gainers list?
To identify positive activities that impact life positively and reclaim energy.
What should clients do periodically regarding their list of gnats and sufferings?
Revisit the list every 60 days to update and manage items.
Fill in the blank: The first step in addressing energy drainers is to identify __________.
[obstacles]
What is self-actualization according to Maslow?
The ability of people to bring their powers together in a particularly efficient and intensively enjoyable way.
Maslow redefined self-actualization in 1968 as a state of integration and living fully in the present.
What are the characteristics of self-actualized individuals?
They are more integrated, self-supporting, self-accepting, open to experiences, idiosyncratic, expressive, spontaneous, creative, humorous, ego-transcending, and independent of lower needs.
These characteristics contribute to their ability to activate their potential.
What does Maslow mean by ‘inner-directedness’?
The ability to rely on one’s internal gyroscope when making decisions.
This concept suggests that individuals live with responsible awareness.
True or False: According to Maslow, once basic needs are fulfilled, individuals no longer function at lower levels of the hierarchy.
False.
Individuals constantly function at all levels of the hierarchy, but their primary awareness is at one or two levels.
What is the significance of tracking emotions in recognizing needs?
When a need is not met, we feel frustrated, fearful, disappointed, hurt, or angry; when met, we feel pleased, excited, and motivated.
Tracking emotions can help identify unmet needs.
Fill in the blank: Needs occur at every level of Maslow’s hierarchy, and when insufficiently met they keep clients from being their _______.
best.
What are the four major categories of needs identified in coaching?
- Needs for security
- Needs for power and influence
- Needs for achievement or attainment
- Needs for connection or affiliation
Each category encompasses specific needs that individuals seek to fulfill.
What is the difference between needs and wants?
Needs exert a driving force when unmet, while wants are desirable but do not have the same urgency.
This distinction is crucial for understanding human motivation.
What can cause a person to feel empty, incomplete, or less than whole?
An unmet need.
This feeling contrasts with the freedom experienced when needs are sufficiently met.
What does Maslow’s research suggest about individuals in risk-taking situations?
They are not necessarily sick but are often seeking something.
This perspective shifts the focus from pathology to potential.
What is a common misconception about needs in consumer societies?
They teach individuals not to distinguish between needs and wants.
Advertising often turns wants into perceived needs to drive sales.
What is the first step in making friends with our needs?
Acknowledge that we have needs.
Recognition of needs is essential for personal growth and fulfillment.
Why is it important for coaches to understand the level at which their clients are functioning?
It helps determine how best to serve and support their clients’ growth.
Understanding clients’ needs informs the coaching process.
How can clients build an automatic system to meet their needs?
By recognizing their needs and creating consistent, healthy ways to fulfill them.
This proactive approach reduces the driving force of unmet needs.
What is the role of emotional intelligence in self-actualization?
Emotional intelligence scores tend to rise with age, aligning with self-actualization.
This suggests a correlation between personal growth and emotional awareness.
What does the term ‘time-competent’ mean in the context of Maslow’s hierarchy?
The ability to live primarily and effectively in the present while integrating past and future experiences.
It emphasizes the importance of present awareness for personal growth.
What should clients do when they recognize a need?
Identify how their needs are being met and find satisfying and healthy ways to fulfill them.
This awareness is crucial for making informed choices.
What are the four major categories of needs?
- Needs for security
- Needs for power and influence
- Needs for achievement or attainment
- Needs for intimacy, relationship, and connection
These categories represent the broad areas in which human needs can be classified.
Define ‘needs for security’.
Safety, protection, stability, information, duty, clarity, certainty, honesty, financial security, order, authenticity, commitment to meet obligations.
These needs focus on creating a stable and safe environment.
Define ‘needs for power and influence’.
Control, wealth, authority, management, morality, dominance, freedom, perfection, visibility, leadership, acknowledgment, praise, recognition, influence.
These needs are associated with gaining control and recognition in various aspects of life.
Define ‘needs for achievement or attainment’.
Create, accomplish, achieve results, strive, perform, excel, attain calmness and peace, be busy, be responsible, succeed, contribute, be useful, be of service excellence.
These needs relate to personal and professional accomplishments.
Define ‘needs for intimacy, relationship, and connection’.
Be listened to, needed, loved, touched, helped, included, cherished, appreciated, spiritual, connected, central to a group; to collaborate and communicate, be connected to something greater than oneself.
These needs emphasize the importance of social connections and emotional bonds.
What might indicate trouble in identifying your needs?
You may not think it acceptable to have needs or may feel ashamed of them.
This can lead to a denial of one’s needs.
What is the rating system for assessing needs in various life dimensions?
+5 (fully met), 0 (not present), -5 (not met at all).
This helps evaluate how well needs are satisfied in different areas of life.
What should you do if you have too many meetings at work?
Consider attending fewer meetings while ensuring you still meet your need for inclusion.
This reflects the need to balance commitments with personal needs.
What are the steps to find satisfying and healthy ways to meet your needs?
- Examine each need for easy fulfillment
- List at least three satisfying ways to meet each need
- Take action based on the list
- Experiment until needs are fulfilled.
This process encourages proactive engagement with personal needs.
Describe Jerry’s primary need.
Jerry has a significant need for achievement.
His entrepreneurial efforts reflect this need, influencing his interactions at home and work.
What could Jerry do to better meet his achievement need?
- Take on tasks he delegates
- Involve others in community leadership
- Start a short-term project at work
These actions could help him find satisfaction without overextending himself.
Why is fulfilling needs critical to clients?
Clients cannot live a fulfilled and balanced life while their needs drive them.
Addressing needs helps clients align with their core values and purposes.
How do people usually meet their needs?
By striving to gain something externally or comparing current life with desired life.
This often involves managing external actions and opinions.
What did Maslow say about meeting needs?
If a need were at least 60 percent met, it would set us free.
This suggests that partial fulfillment of needs allows individuals to focus on higher-order needs.
Fill in the blank: Once a need is met, it can become a _______.
[value]
This transition indicates a shift from being driven by needs to living by values.
What can happen when basic needs are met?
Individuals can focus on higher-order needs, such as responsibility and personal growth.
This allows for the development of habits that support fulfilling lives.
